Fic: Rachel Needs Some Action
Chapter 2: Laundry Night
Author: deeha
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

Summary: Tina thinks that Rachel needs to get some action. Rachel's just been busy. But when Santana comes into the picture, Rachel seems to be less busy.

Rachel doesn't wake up until the next day, 1pm. Her phone's battery is dead and she tries to plug it into the wall socket while avoiding the mirrors on her wall at all costs because she doesn't want to scare herself with her nasty makeup face. She most definitely has a hangover and is definitely still under a confusion haze. And she still isn't entirely sure if she really saw Santana last night.

She gargles in the shower and shampoos her hair twice just because she can. Then she air dries. Meaning she walks around her apartment naked.

It's Saturday, so she turns on her record player and puts on Linda Ronstadt.

She waters her plants and makes a grocery list. She doesn't want to turn on her laptop because she wants to rest her eyes. So she puts on a long shirt, and sits in her lounge chair and just hums along to the record. She's glad she sat down because she could honestly say she still felt drunk.

Her phone beeps, indicating she has messages waiting for her. It's like 4pm and the record player is still turning but the needle is up so she isn't that upset she fell asleep. A couple of texts are from Tina, asking her if she wanted to watch that Zac Efron movie with her tomorrow since Mike won't go with her (he wants to see that superhero movie). (Rachel does too, and wonders if she could go with Mike to see it.) She would just text back, but that seems like too much effort so she just calls Tina.

"Rachel, I found this groupon thing for a booze cruise. I think we should go. You might meet someone. And, I can drink all the booze."

"God, Tina, since when were you a lush. You should really control yourself."

"Ok how about a segway tour of the city?"

"What?"

"You ride a segway and tour the city."

"And you think I'll meet someone while I'm on this segway tour?"

"Hey you were all judgmental about the booze cruise."

"I'm not sure I'll have time to go on a booze cruise. I have recordings to do and I honestly don't find being on a boat appealing."

"I'm sure there will be girls in bikinis."

"Tempting. But again I'm not interested in just...as you put it... getting laid ...I still want romance."

"Titantic was a boat."

"The Titantic hit an iceberg and sunk."

"But there was romance. At least in the movie..."

"Veto."

"There was very very naked romance on that boat."

"Tina."

"Ok fine, you choose. But you better have a good idea. Pick me up tomorrow to see Zac Efron."

"Alright, until tomorrow."

Rachel hangs up with Tina and is about to order in some Thai food. But she gets another text. This time it's from Santana. She almost drops her phone. And then suddenly last night is flashing before her eyes.

Yup. All of that happened.

She silently prays that Carrie Underwood isn't mad at her.

Santana wants to know if Rachel wants to get some Thai food. And Rachel shakes her head to jog her brain awake. Because like...great minds think a like? Rachel texts her back and says that she was just going to order Thai. Santana replies, "That is a coincidence." And also adds a smiley face.

Then Rachel is calculating in her brain how she wants to play this. If she gets some food with Santana, she will actually have to put on clothes. And now that Rachel texted Santana, Santana knows that Rachel is staying in tonight. Rachel could invite Santana over. But that would mean she would actually have to put on clothes.

There is knocking on her door.

She looks through the peep hole. And it's Santana. She opens the door.

"Well, hello Rachel Berry's tits." Santana is smiling big and her eyes are moving up and down Rachel's body to like memorize the moment.

Rachel remembers herself and pulls Santana inside and then tries to wrap a throw blanket around herself. Yea, she's wearing a long shirt. But no bra and underwear, so. Things.

"Santana...Hi."

"Rachel...Hi."

Santana still has this big ass grin on her face and Rachel is still dying from embarrassment.

"So, I'm sure by now, you've pieced it together that we live in the same building. I moved in last Wednesday. Did you already order the Thai? I'm starving and must be fed." Santana is still smiling but now she's taking off her jacket and walking around looking at Rachel's plants. She stops to peruse Rachel's record collection.

Rachel's trying to remember if she has clean clothes, since like tonight was also laundry night. But she knows she needs to find some clothes. Or else. Things.

Santana finds Fleetwood Mac's record and sets it to play. She sits in the lounge chair, the one that Rachel was sitting in (like basically naked) just a moment ago. Somehow Rachel recollects herself and gives Santana the take out menu and asks her to order whatever she likes. Santana asks if she has some favorites and Rachel rattles off some numbers as she jogs to her bedroom to try and find some clothes.

They're eating the Thai food on the floor in front of Rachel's stereos. Santana found a Nina Simone record and basically could not move more than 2 feet away from the record player. Rachel's never had a picnic in her living room, but it isn't killing her so she decides she likes it. Plus Santana ordered a curry that she never tried before and it's turning out to be a keeper.

It's no surprise that they reconnect over music. After all, Glee was the best part of their day. But they aren't in high school anymore. They're out of college and they are living out on their own. Both not really sure what Brittany and Finn are up to. Nor do they really care.

"So, Rachel. You like Kim Kardashian's big butt huh?"

Rachel blanches. She knew last night was fishy when she couldn't really remember if Santana said anything. Most likely because she was running off her mouth. About Kim Kardashian's butt.

"Omg. What else did I say?"

"Oh, you started listing all of Kelly Clarkson's songs, along with a ten second self rendition."

"I'm surprised you didn't slap me."

"Believe me, I wanted to."

"For the record, I just want to say that Carrie Underwood is also a fantastic American Idol alumna."

"Fine. But I'm gonna have to say that is the only reason I watch that show."

Rachel smiles.

"Why are you here?"

"Well, now that I've seen your tits."

"Ok, how about cleaning up!"

Santana helps Rachel wash the dishes. And they start talking about how Ms. Iverly on the fourth floor has two cats even though this is a no pet building. They go back into the living room and Rachel watches Santana peruse her records.

"You could come over any time and listen to a record if you like." She isn't quite sure where that came from. But she felt compelled to invite Santana to be in her apartment as often as possible if it was going to make her feel the way she was feeling. Which was: happy and warm.

"Well only if you answer the door naked every time."

Rachel takes that as a yes.

For some reason, Santana goes with Rachel to the laundry room. Santana is still laughing about how Rachel opened the door earlier. Rachel is still embarrassed.

"You know, you're a pretty funny drunk Rachel."

"Oh. Well that's good to know."

Rachel is sorting out her whites and color clothes and then gets embarrassed when she has to sort out her underwear. Maybe this is why Santana wanted to watch Rachel do her laundry. Santana jumps up to sit on the counter next to Rachel's laundry basket.

"I didn't get to tell you last night, but I really liked your dress. Especially your heels. You looked really good. You look really good in these sweats right now too."

Rachel is already blushing about how she has to sort her red lace thong into the color pile, and now she's blushing because Santana is complementing her. She thinks that Santana just likes teasing her. She finishes putting her laundry into the washers and sets her timer on her phone to remind her to switch it to the dryers and they start walking back to her apartment.

But Santana wants to look at the gym so Rachel shows her where it is. There is only a treadmill and a rowing machine. Rachel did write to management that they should put in an elliptical. But she doesn't tell Santana that. They walk around the pool and Santana points and says she will definitely be using that. Rachel can't help that her mind goes to the gutter, like immediately, and thinks about all the different kinds of bathing suits Santana might wear.

Again she doesn't know why her mind went there.

They sit on the patio chairs and Santana suggests they play thumb wars. Which is juvenile but, it's something to pass the time. So Rachel scoots closer to Santana and grabs her hand. It's soft. Rachel's thinking to herself: get a grip. Which is funny...because that's like also an excellent tactic for the game. But not the point. They play a couple rounds. And it's like no surprise that Santana is good, but so is Rachel because she is pure tenacity. They say the next round will be the best out of three. And on the third round, after a very strenuous thumb battle, Santana has won. But they're both laughing at how ridiculous they are being and they don't realize that they are still holding hands.

Until Rachel does, and then she feels like her hand is beginning to sweat. Like what? Why do hands do that? Gross. Santana is just nonchalantly rubbing her thumb on top of Rachel's hand. And then Rachel's phone buzzes and nearly gives her a heart attack and she almost topples into the pool. But thanks to Santana, who was still holding her hand, she has her by waist and saves Rachel from getting wet.

Well.

Again, she needs to get her mind out of the gutter. Maybe Tina was right. She did need to get laid.

Well.

Santana...

God, woman. Focus.

Santana pulls both of them to their feet and they go back to the laundry room to switch the loads and they decide to just wait in the laundry room. There is a TV playing infomercials. They start rating each item and debating whether a shake weight is either the most lewd exercise machine ever or if it's like actually legit. A commercial comes on and Santana is like surprised that the infomercial channel has commercials. It's kind of doesn't make sense. But the commercial is for some TV dinner, and even though Santana can't really hear the jingle, she swears that the voice sounds like Rachel. Rachel just smiles. Santana looks to her.

"Is that you singing in the commercial?"

"I do believe it is."

"You sound great!"

Rachel smiles and is relieved that Santana didn't think she was a sell-out. Rachel was going to tell her that she uses the Glee club's mattress commercial in her reel.

"You're like Susan Eagan."

Rachel like instantly falls head over heels that Santana even knows who Ms. Eagan is. They start legitimately discussing how Meg is basically the hottest Disney character (next to Ariel) and how Rachel would be a cute little Belle if she was in Beauty and the Beast on Broadway. (Rachel blushes when Santana says she's cute.)

When Rachel's laundry is done they both hold a handle to the basket and walk it back to Rachel's apartment. It's like almost midnight and even though Rachel basically slept for half of the day, she is ready for bed. Once they drop the laundry basket onto Rachel's couch, Santana kind of just stands in the middle of the living room.

"So, Tina and I are going to watch the Zac Efron movie tomorrow. Do you want to come?"

Santana is smiling. "You like Efron? You would like Efron."

"He was really good in 17 Again." Rachel offers.

Santana just pauses.

"What time you guys going?"

It's kind of obscene how happy she is from Santana agreeing to see a movie with her. (And Tina).