Fic: Rachel Needs Some Action
Chapter 3: Segways or Segues
Author: deeha
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

Summary: Tina thinks that Rachel needs to get some action. Rachel's just been busy. But when Santana comes into the picture, Rachel seems to be less busy.

It's a gorgeous day. Not a gray cloud in the sky. Birds, cute little birds, are twittering in the air. A gentle breeze blows through Rachel's long locks of hair...as she follows Tina and Mike on their segways through a tour of the city.

Segways.

Turns out when Tina heard Santana was around she called her up and then Mike overheard and then he said they should all hang out. But he wouldn't budge on seeing the Zac Efron movie.

So.

Segways.

Santana is laughing her head off...at Rachel.
Because Santana is following Rachel on her segway who has on this little skirt that she is trying to like tuck in between her legs so it won't flap in the wind and cause a situation.

If Rachel had known they were going to be on segways touring the city on this bright sunny Sunday...she would've worn pants.

Santana just laughs the entire tour.

When the tour ends the girls go walking around the park trying to find food stands (Mike hangs back with the segway guys who are letting him try to segway dance). Tina wants a pretzel, Rachel wants some lemonade, and Santana wants a churro...but all they find are hotdog stands.

They give up and end up sitting on a bench (Mike is still on the segway...and a small crowd is forming and enjoying the dance).

"So, Rachel, I've got more ideas."

"Oh, Tina, no." Rachel vehemently shakes her head.

"Ideas for what?" Santana asks.

Rachel is praying to God that Tina won't spill all the intimate detail of Rachel's nonexistent love life.

Yea, no luck on that.

"Rachel needs some action. Ooo Santana maybe you can help!"

Rachel is like dying. Dying from like everything. As if she wasn't already embarrassed about having to wedge her skirt between her legs during an entire tour of the city on a damn segway, now she's got Tina...oh Tina.

Santana's eyebrows are like all the way up on her forehead. Rachel can practically see the word "wanky" shouting inside of Santana's head.

And, Tina...yes, she is still speaking. Totally obliviously to the innuendo she just made.

"Yea, well Rachel since you are against bar hopping again, and don't like my booze cruise idea..."

"Tina, there really isn't any need to talk about this..." Rachel is like trying to stop this conversation.

"Wait, booze cruise?" Santana asks.

"Yea, oh how about dining in the dark! Talk about blind date!" Tina shouts. Out Loud.

Rachel's hands are literally clasped in front of her, praying for a miracle.

"Or! We can all take golf lessons!"

Rachel's confused. "Wait. Why golf?"

"Because, don't lesbians like golf?"

Santana puts up her hand to stop the conversation. "Hold up. Ok, Girl Chang, e'nugh."

Santana turns to Rachel. "Would someone like to share with the class?"

Rachel is going to kill Tina. Like forget about the commandment "thou shall not kill," because Rachel is pretty sure that a footnote is in there specifically against Tina outing her.

Enter miracle: Mike, on a segway.

"Hey did you see me! All those people came to watch, and then all those food trucks came! I got a free pretzel, lemonade, and churro!"

All the girls stop and stare. Mike is just grinning with the food in his hand and he's still on the segway. (Like did they give the segway to him for free too?)

"Mike Chang, God bless you." Rachel says as she jumps up to hug him.

Tina and Santana take the food from Mike and Rachel is still hugging Mike as she drinks her lemonade. Mike is confused but after Tina pries Rachel off of Mike so she can give him a kiss he's like good.

Rachel finally sits on the bench, silently drinking her lemonade and hoping that Santana won't give her a hard time and make her answer the lingering question. But Santana is just happily eating her churro. Rachel is relieved.

They all just kind of "people watch" for the rest of the afternoon.

Mike ends up giving in to Tina and takes her to see the Zac Efron movie (such a good boyfriend).

Rachel and Santana go grocery shopping. Rachel needs food in her apartment because she knows during the week she won't be able to. Santana decided to get some food too. Rachel is pushing a cart, and this time she's the one following Santana...who is putting like all the boxes of Mac n' Cheese in Rachel's cart.

"That is a lot of Mac n' Cheese." Rachel comments.

"It's delicious that's what it is."

"Is this all you eat?"

"It's delicious? I don't really cook. The microwave is like my best friend. Apparently not yours though...what are you like Susie home maker? What are all these raw ingredients in your cart? It's like you picked a farm."

"Home cooking isn't all that bad. It's healthy for you. You should try it sometime."

Santana laughs and says something about kitchen explosions. Rachel is putting pasta in her cart and is looking for some of the twisty noodles.

"Can you cook Mac n' Cheese?" Santana asks all nonchalant.

"I do have a vegan recipe. And it's delicious." Rachel says jokingly.

Santana smiles like she just accomplished something. Rachel isn't sure what Santana's reaction means, but she really does have a recipe and now she's like thinking it might be a good idea to have mac and cheese tonight.

"So...how about tonight? Mac n' Cheese...vegan style?" Santana asks. Apparently, Santana was thinking the same thing. Great minds really do think alike.

Rachel thinks there are worse things she could be doing on a Sunday. She nods yes and continues to think of what is exactly in the recipe. Santana puts a box of wine in their cart.

"What is this?" Rachel asks.

"Wine."

"It's in a box?"

"It's delicious?"

"Do you only eat things that come in boxes?"

"What are you, a food snob? And who said I'm going to share this with you?"

"Well, you put it in the cart! And sharing is caring, Santana, sharing is caring."

Santana rolls her eyes. But they end up smiling their way to the registers.

A/N: Hi! Thank you for reading :)