A/N Sorry that this chapter has been a bit of a wait. I have been a bit sick and still not feeling the best at the moment. I have been busy helping with kids too at home and I needed time to think where this chapter was going to take the story, I didn't want to just post something and regret it later, I am trying to keep some of the things to the books and change some things for my own additions.

I am pleased that I have 145 reviews and this story has reached nearly 14,000 views and we are just on chapter 8. It's amazing. I really want to thank each and every one of you who has read it and reviewed, a special thanks to the 171 followers who has stayed with me the whole time also :)

You are all fantastic.

I really do hope you are enjoying a much stronger and independent Ana, it's a big change from the one from the books and sometimes I felt like slapping her silly reading them even though I really enjoyed the books.

Holding On & Letting Go

"Ana he's so cute" Kate bounced a 12 week old Teddy on her knee, Ana was busy around the kitchen making dinner for the both of them "So what's the deal with you and Christian? I see myself your both spending more time together. Any romance brewing?" she looked up from Teddy and over to Ana who looked over her shoulder at her curious friend.

"We have been talking about different things, you know he keeps bringing up the question of moving back in with him. I have been thinking hard about it and we have been spending time together, Christian tries to make it romantic but I think we should see Dr Flynn first. He has helped us in the past especially when I needed reassurance about Christian. I have told him that we should see him for help, I know you may think I'm dragging this out but Kate I want to know I can trust him again, I don't think I could really forgive him even though deep down I want to." She placed the dish in the oven and wiped her hands walking over to Kate and taking Teddy in her arms.

"Mmm" Teddy cooed at Ana who sat him up kissing his head. Kate smiled at him and he placed his fingers in his mouth chewing away. "Ana I know this is really hard for you, I can't imagine what it's like with Teddy caught in the middle. Christian is sorry everyone knows it even you but it really is up to you at the end of the day whether you can let it go and actually forgive him. I never thought I'd see the day where I would stick up for Christian Grey" she laughed "He really is working hard to get you back, he takes both of you out all the time and have you seen how he is with Teddy, they are almost inseparable when they are together, he cries for him when he visits if he has to go take a call. He is a great father Ana" she placed her hand on her friends knee giving a reassuring squeeze.

"I know Kate, he is a great father there is no doubt about that. I just wish that Teddy wasn't in the middle of everything. I wouldn't change having him for the world but if he wasn't here Christian and I's relationship would be different, he wouldn't respect the fact I can look after myself. I know he sends Taylor the odd time to check on us but he has loosened up since I had Teddy and moved out on my own. We are finding out more and more about each other and he seems carefree and relaxed. He isn't the same Christian it's refreshing, I rather take my time with him. Sometimes though I do wish I could wake up in his arms but I'm stubborn so I will wait until we can talk about some of the trust issues with Flynn first" she handed Teddy back to Kate as she went to serve her dish. Kate was about to give try and persuade her more when Ana interrupted her "Come on less of this serious talk and lets just dig in and have a nice meal and light conversation" she smiled at Kate who couldn't argue with her being in such a good mood.

"Now son this is Charlie Tango. My favourite way to travel is up in the air in this" Ana, Kate and Elliot laughed as Christian was explaining Charlie Tango to his 3 month old son who was too busy with the buttons on Christian's blackberry. "See this is your special seat so you can come and fly with me too" he said as he placed Teddy in a specialised seat made for him. He strapped him in securely and placed a little head seat on him to which he smiled and tried to play with the mike on it. Ana sat on the other side of Teddy and Christian made sure she was also securely strapped in along with Kate and Elliot who were further back in the helicopter. Elliot rolled his eyes at how brother going overboard with going tight with the straps "Whoa bro easy there, I need to breathe"

"I need to make sure everyone is in securely" he murmured "well I also need to have air in my lungs lil bro" he slapped his shoulder affectionately.

"Elliot stop teasing him" Kate scolded him "He's just making sure everyone is okay"

"Geez since when are you my brother's biggest fan?" Elliot scowled and Christian laughed

"If you ever want to get laid again I suggest you shut it Elliot" Ana burst into laughter at Elliot's facial expression, she had turned to look as soon as Kate began to answer him. "Yeah Lelliot" Christian threw Elliot's nickname at him "Listen to your girlfriend big bro" This is more like it, relaxing and carefree Christian. I wish he could be like this all the time, it would make things much easier. Ana thought as she relaxed back into her seat. Christian then closed the doors and sat himself in, strapping himself in wearing the headset with Mike. Ana zoned taking in the scenery as Christian began to take off. She glanced down at little Teddy as he cooed through the Mike, Christian laughed at him and took one hand and patted his head before focusing back on flying.

"I have to hand it to you bro, you got skill" he laughed as Elliot took in the the city from the air "I bet it's great being you?"

"Yeah it's not bad" he shrugged his shoulder and Ana rolled her eyes laughing along with Kate. "Though it could be better" he said looking at his son and then to Ana. She caught onto the double meaning of it. Elliot and Kate were completely oblivious to their exchange they were too busy looking around at the view they were getting from the air. Teddy gave a toothless grin at his father when he handed him a toy helicopter from the dash of Charlie Tango "Here you go son your own mini Charlie Tango" Teddy tried to get of grip of it in his hands but it kept falling into his lap. He was content in trying to hold his grip on it than anything else, the headset on him was left alone for once since they had took off.

"Thanks for that Christian, we have to get you to take us out more" Kate beamed at him as they made their way to the beach side restaurant. She was hand in hand with Elliot as they strolled along ahead of them walking barefoot on the beach. Christian held Teddy in his arms and his shoes in the other. Ana walked beside him taking in the beach and the warm sand between her toes. Christian stopped waiting for her, he watched her lovingly as she relaxed. "Ana you coming?" he brought her back

"Yeah I was just enjoying all this, it's quite relaxing" she smiled at Christian and the sleeping infant in his arms

"It is, it's nice seeing you like this, you look better, happy" he frowned slightly

"I feel it too" she smiled at him, she noticed as his face fell slightly "It's also because we are getting to know each other better, our son is starting to mumble mama every now and I just feel genuinely happy. It gets hard from time to time, I know we have been having a rough couple of months and I am hoping I can speak to Dr Flynn again" Christian screwed up his face

"Ana why do you need to see him you and Kate talk and we do too" he grumbled "Christian I need to speak to him not only about how I feel about the relationship, how Teddy is caught up in this but the trust issues and forgiveness" she sighed "Christian come on lets not ruin this I am having a good time today, lets go and get some lunch"

"Okay" the corners of his lips twitched up in a small smile as they caught up with Kate and Elliot "There you two are, we thought you got lost" Elliot joked around with his brother as he slipped on his shoes and socks as Kate held Teddy. "So bro what's good here ? Your the expect on the fine wine and dining as I've heard" Elliot grasped Christian's shoulders lightly as he threw an arm over them.

"So was today up to Katherine Kavanagh's expectations?" Christian joked as the got out of the helicopter and walked to the cars. "That has to be a trick question" she laughed at Christian "Yes to answer it yes it was up to my expectations Mr Money Bags" Ana nearly choked on the bottle of water she was drinking. Christian and Elliot laughed uncontrollably At least he found the nickname funny I thought he would have been a bit mad. Calm Ana.

"Thanks for today bro, now I am going to get my lady home so are you okay driving Ana and the little guy" he stroked Teddy's cheek lightly

"Yeah I got it" he smiled as they said their goodbyes as Christian led Ana to his car. He strapped Teddy in and covered him with a new blanket he had bought him. "So Kate told me you cooked for her last night?" he started up a conversation as they got settled into the car.

"Yeah I used to always cook for her in college, she was brutal" she laughed "Just don't tell her I said that" Christian grinned his all American boyish grin at her. "Your secret is safe with me" he chuckled shaking his head as they drove towards Ana's apartment. They kept up the light relaxing conversation the whole way, none of them bothered bringing up anything that could ruin the mood. "Can I tuck Teddy in?" Christian asked her looking hopeful, she couldn't refuse him wanting to help

"Sure" she said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and went around to get Teddy from his car seat. "Come on Teddy" she whispered as she scooped him up in her arms covered with his baby blanket. "Let's get you to bed for a nap"

"He really is out for the count isn't he?" Christian smiled as the rose the elevator to the apartment. "He sure loves his sleep"

"I know I guess that sea air got to him" Ana smiled down at her son cradled in her arms. She looked up to him as the doors opened on her floor. She walked out Christian following close behind as she reached her front door. She turn the key in the lock and turned on the lights as Christian went ahead to open the door to Teddy's nursery. Christian took him into his arms giving his a kiss and whispering something in his ear, Ana couldn't quite make out. He lay him in his crib and they both stepped out quietly.

"I never did say thank you for earlier, I really did have a good time" she smiled at him as they went back to the living room.

"I know you enjoyed it, you could see it written on your face, it was no problem really" his eyes twinkled with amusement as he shrugged his shoulders "I don't want to ruin it yet but do you really mean we can try again if we start going to sessions with John?"

"Well we have to see how they go first but I need to see him and so do you whether you may not like it Christian, look I know you hate me bringing up your past but considering what has happened to you and that we barely talk about it, which I think we do, we need to confront our demons together if we are to work" she touched his cheek with one of her hands before moving away from him. He looked up as she sat down at the kitchen counter

"If that is what it is going to take I can do that. We can go see Dr Flynn together" she almost died on the inside Oh Christian, you really are trying "I guess I should get going, early business meeting tomorrow morning" he moved towards her grasping her hand and bringing it up to his lips "I'll see you soon then" she smiled nodding as he got up and left. She got up from her place and moved to sit on the sofa resting her head back against the top of it. She went over the conversations and arguments she has had with him these past few weeks over going to Dr Flynn, she lost count the amount of times they had brought that conversation up but tonight it was settled, they were paying Dr John Flynn a long overdue visit.