CHAPTER FOUR – ASHES TO ASHES

EDWARD POV

It has been almost two hours now since my first day at school began and already I want to gouge my own eyes out. At least Chemistry was well, interesting. History class where I was now was second lesson and you guessed it, it fucking sucked. I never really sin the point to history it was just another way to bring up the past and it was useless information to us. Not one student in this class gave a fuck about their future let alone the past.

This classroom was different then Chemistry it had individual seats with a table attached to it so I was glad I could just get on with my own thing and that included trying to listen and learn but since I walked in I couldn't help but drone out and I tried not to fall asleep. Mr Harding was totally different to Ms Conner's. He was a lot older for starters he wore a brown tweed suit with elbow patches which was in pristine condition. His hair was well, he was bald but he had a ring of perfectly silver hair running around the back of his head. He looked like an old fashioned Gentlemen and he spoke like one to. Nobody gave him any grief since the lesson began, why I didn't know maybe the class was scared of him too. A few students from my Chem class was in here along with, you guessed it James again. I didn't know if it was it the actual subject that distracted me or was it something else, or someone else? I don't know why but my mind kept travelling back to Chem class. Of all the girls in the school and of all the people I had to sit by she had to be the fucking principles daughter. It made sense now why I had never have seen her before.

I felt kind of sorry for her in a way because I could tell straight away that she had come from a law abiding town. It's strange because before I found out that her father was the principle I already didn't like the guy because she had said, and I quote 'her dad took a new job so she had to move with him.' When she had told me this I instantly didn't like him because he must have been a fucked up guy to take away her home, her life and most importantly her safety and security to dump her in a shithole like this. She also told me that she lived on the outskirts of town which was, I don't know both relieving and worrying. I knew that the Black Hearts stayed within the town's limits but I couldn't be sure for the Razor Heads. I would have to ask her with side she lived on next time I spoke to her... Wait what?

Was I even planning to speak to her again knowing that she was the boss's daughter and more importantly she was the daughter of one of the main men that could land my ass back into jail for even talking to her. The plan was to keep my head down and to lay low for a while or at least until I was off parole. If her farther was vicious enough to abandon his daughter in his fucked up place then he was vicious enough to put me out of my misery. So the answer was a big fucking fat no, I would not, could not associate with her.

The bell rang, which pulled me out of thought. The whole class rushed out as I grabbed my books. I had a free period next so I didn't have to rush. I slowly made my way out the class and down the hallway I didn't know where to spend my free hour so I decided to check out the school, maybe there was a place outside to relax? As I was about to turn towards the side entrance Bella came into my view.

She had turned up the hallway and walked hunched over again up the side of the wall. She was looking down like she always did so she didn't see the fight that was about to break out in front of her. I recognised the two guys straight away and new that one of them was a black heart and the other a razor head so I knew that it would become brutal. If she got in the middle of that she wouldn't stand a chance. The fight began but instead of going out the side entrance my feet turned around and hurried in the opposite direction. The screaming crowd gathered around as I reached her, someone shoved her making her fall backwards. My books went crashing to the floor as I put my arms out just in time to catch her. I pushed her small frame back up so she was standing and then I let her go.

"I wouldn't get in the middle of that if I were you" I laughed.

She spun around and once again today I was greeted by her melting chocolate eyes.

"Thanks" she said looking down.

"Let's get you out the way"

I placed my hand on her waist and guided her through the crowd pushing people out the way. I didn't even notice the guards run past us until I quickly glanced back to see if we were clear. I pulled my hand away when we were in a safe place.

"Thanks" she said again.

"Don't mention it" I smiled.

"So have you enjoyed your first day so far" she asked biting her lip.

"A part from wanting to gouge my own eyes out in History then yeah it's been just peachy"

You're doing a good job of keeping away from her dumbshit I shouted in my head.

"Um, what lesson you got next?" she asked shyly.

"I've got a free period, you?"

"Math, third floor"

There was a slight silence after that and that should have been my queue to get the fuck out of there but I didn't, I wanted to keep talk talking to her.

"On a good note I've met some, um" I paused trying to consider my words carefully "Interesting people" I smiled implying her.

She smiled back and for some reason I liked it. The second bell rang then and I grunted inwards at myself because I wanted to spend more time with her. Wait no I don't want to associate with her I told myself.

"Sorry, I, um"

"Hope you're a fast runner" I smirked before I left.

I didn't look back at her I carried on walking and stopped to pick up my books that were still on the floor. The guards were still breaking up the fight as I walked past and back up the hallway. As I walked out this side entrance I corrected my own thoughts. It's not that I didn't want to associate with her the truth was I couldn't, full stop. I walked around the outside of the building and found a canteen. It looked promising and I was used to prison food so why not try the schools food.

I entered the glass doors and there were several students sat at the tables talking amongst themselves.

"Edward" A familiar voice shouted

I spun around to see Jasper getting up from a lunch table. He quickly made his way over to me.

"You alright bro" I asked.

"Yeah, you on a free?"

"Yeah"

"Well the food shit, but it's free so lets eat" He said.

I wasn't surprised that the food was free because money was hard to come by nowadays. The only way to get money was to either steal it of civilians or other gang members from selling Edge. Before I went to prison I hid a stash of money and drugs away under the floorboard in my bedroom. I would have to see if they were still there later.

The town hadn't completely run out of food because there were a few make shift shops still here which were regularly stocked with food, drink, alcohol and cigarettes. All this of course came from Port Angeles which was either stolen or was traded with shop owners in Port Angeles for Edge. Forks still had electricity, running water and gas so we weren't completely in the stone ages. As long as the bills were paid at the end of the month then we were alright. I highly doubted that my mother paid our bills anymore so I wouldn't be surprised if our house had became something out the Flintstones.

I headed to the lunch area that was fenced off by a high chain linked fence. There were little slots in the middle of the fence for the lunch ladies to pass the food through. The guard that was standing against the far side of the wall holding a tantalizer gun didn't go unnoticed to me either. Jasper had burger and chips but I just went for a sandwich and an apple. We returned to Jaspers table and sat down next to a few black hearts.

"So, you're going through with the rave" I asked taking a bite of my apple.

"Yeah, they wanted to do it last week but I asked them to wait until you were out" he informed me.

His comment intrigued me, did he actually think that I would do the so called honours beings that I was his brother.

"Why did you wait for me?" I asked.

"You're my brother I didn't want you to miss it"

"Miss what? My little brother getting knocked the fuck out" I spat.

"Fuck sake Edward it's not like that, I'm finally becoming a member, this is a huge deal for me" He countered.

"Jasper, have you even considered the other fact?"

"What?"

"The fact that you might die" I reminded him.

That was the part I feared the most. He was silent for a moment and I hoped that he was considering not joining.

"Look, I no your against me joining, but this is what I want. I now you only want what's best for me and I know you don't want me to get hurt but look around Edward. This whole town is a death trap, If I don't join then I would be watching my back twenty four seven from both the black hearts and the razor heads. You can't protect me from everything especially in this town so at least if I join, the black hearts will have my back and you won't have to worry about me so much" He protested.

He had a point but still all that would be for nothing if the black hearts killed him during the rave. I knew I wasn't going to win the argument so I dropped it.

"Fine, but don't expect me to give you the first hit because I wont" I told him.

"Ok and thank you"

"Don't thank me, I'm not agreeing with your decision and I'm not giving you my blessing either, I'm only dropping the subject because I know you won't change your mind"

He grinned at me and started to make sad faces so I would smile back at him.

"I mean it Jasper, I'm not budging if you get hurt or you die it's your own fault" I told him.

He continued to make silly faces and I had to turn away from him because I could feel a smirk coming on. As I looked away I sin that pig Jacob Black from the razor heads staring at me from across the canteen. He was sitting on a table with a few razor heads next to him.

"I made sure nothing happened to your bike while you were away" Jasper said pulling me away from Jacobs stare.

I pushed my food aside and crossed my arms. Jacob was enough to put anybody off their food. I had forgotten about my motorbike it was my pride and joy, well it was before I went into prison.

"Thanks" I half heartedly said.

"Don't think that we have forgotten about that little stunt you pulled this morning" A husky voice spat.

I rolled my eyes and groaned inwards. I looked up to see Jacob standing about three feet away from me.

"Fuck off Jacob shouldn't you be in your kennel or something" Jasper countered.

"Yeah your mom let me out this morning after I fucked her" He smirked.

I couldn't help but smile inward, knowing my mother she probably did fuck him along with everybody else in the town. I couldn't be arsed with this shit especially off Jacob but I wasn't going to get thrown back into prison because of this stupid fuck so I just sat there with my arms crossed and said nothing.

"Ah, well it's good to know that you two now share the same diseases" Jasper laughed.

"Funny, I see you got a smart mouth for someone who hasn't even hit puberty yet" Jacob said.

"That's something we must have in common then, ah poor baby, don't worry it's not your fault you're a late bloomer" Jasper laughed back.

A smile broke out on my lips and I couldn't help but snort at Jaspers comment. I could see the anger flare up behind Jacobs eyes as Jasper laughed at him. I must give it to Jasper her certainly knew how to hold his own.

"Something funny fuck face" Jacob hissed at me.

I put my hands up in protest and crossed them again as I smiled at him.

"You're awfully quiet did that bitch eat your tongue or something?" He snarled.

What the fuck was he talking about?

"What?" I spat.

"Don't think I didn't notice you trying to get in that bitches pants in chem class." He said again.

As he said it I knew he must have being talking about Bella. My smile disappeared and my jaw locked into place.

"Ah, what's wrong Eddie, did you show her how small your dick was and she turned you down?" He scoffed.

My hands slowly closed up into fist but I locked them in place behind my crossed arms. Jasper shifted next to me obviously understanding that I was a second away from punching this fucker's lights out but what I didn't understand was why. Why was I getting so wound up because he was talking about Bella?

"Don't worry, I'm sure she couldn't refuse me though" He smiled. "Sorry I meant wouldn't" He smirked emphasising the word wouldn't.

In a split second I exploded out of my chair sending the chair flying backwards. I raised my fist to his face ready to smack his teeth to the back of his skull.

"Don't!" Jasper shouted pulling back on my arm.

I heard the black hearts gather behind me as the razor heads bolted across the other end of the room and stood in line with Jacob. Jasper still had his grip tightly around my arm so I couldn't throw a punch. I was locked in a death stare with Jacob throwing growls at each other.

"Break it up!" Someone shouted.

A guard appeared next to us and walked down the thin line that separated us from annihilating each other. I didn't drop my stare from Jacob as the two sides relaxed and started to retreat.

"Move along" The guard told Jacob.

Jacob dropped his stance and smirked. He used his index finger to pull down the skin underneath his right eye so the bottom of his eyeball was exposed.

"Be seeing you" he threatened me before turning back around and walking back to his table.

"What the fuck was that about?" Jasper whispered.

I turned back around and grabbed my books off the table.

"Got a smoke" I asked him.

He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and handed me a lighter with it. I took them off him and walked out the canteen. I walked along the side of the building and around the other side. I noticed a courtyard with some lunch tables under a shelter. There were a few civilians there so I walked to an empty table and sat down. I sat onto of the table and balanced my feet on the chairs. I placed my books down and pulled out the pack of smokes and lit one up. I inhaled and held my breath as the nicotine filled my lungs. I let out a long breath after and let the nicotine surge through my body causing a head rush.

What the fuck had just happened in there? I nearly went against everything I told myself not to do all because he started talking about her. I knew what he meant straight away when he said wouldn't. Jacob was not the type to ask he would force himself upon her. In that spilt second before I lunged out of my chair I pictured her tiny fragile body underneath his. Her screams filled my ears and the image burned into my head. I couldn't and wouldn't let Jacob or anybody to that to her, she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve any of this and she didn't deserve to be here. What the fuck have I let myself into, why did I feel like I had to be some sort of protector. I wasn't a protector I didn't care enough about anybody to be a protector except for Jasper. I'm not supposed to have feeling and shit so why was I getting so wound up about a girl who I had only just met?

I couldn't let myself care or get close to her or anybody else at least until I was off parole. I couldn't let her be the reason why my life would be ruined, but I couldn't just stand by and watch somebody ruin her life either. She was getting by just fine for the past three months so why should I have to step in to defend her, she was doing perfectly fine on her own. Then a new thought came to mind, if I hadn't had talked to her then maybe Jacob wouldn't have even noticed her in the first place. Bella made herself invisible to everybody, nobody had even given their time to even notice her. Then I had to come along and put her in the spotlight. I might have well just gone on a stage with her, stood under a spotlight, and then ran off, leaving her standing there with everybody watching her. If I completely ignored her then hopefully people would forget about her like they use to and leave her alone. To keep her safe I would have to stay away from her. That way she would go back to being invisible from everybody and I wouldn't get thrown in prison for defending her. That was the best option I had, the only option.

I looked down upon the cigarette in between my fingers and watched as it burnt down to the butt. I had been so still that the paper that turned to ash was still attached to it. One slight movement or a hairs breathe would have made it collapse, it reminded me of my life. I was the cigarette and my whole life and future were the ash that clung to it for dear life. Every decision I made or was about to make made the ash harder to cling on to but eventually all the ash would fall off leaving nothing by an empty shell at the end of it.

I didn't no how long I was sat out here for but the bell rang. I slowly lowered my cigarette and placed it gently on the table next to me. The ash was still attached and it hadn't had fallen off so I decided to let faith do the deed for me. I picked up my books and headed to gym class leaving the cigarette burning.

The gymnasium was on the opposite side of the building where I was but the outside was fenced off just at the side of the courtyard so I had no choice but to walk through the school and out the other side. The second bell hadn't rung yet so I still had a few minutes to get there. I entered the main building by the courtyard and headed down the hallway. My pace slowed down and I scanned the hallways. Why the hell was I walking so slowly? And who the hell was I looking for? I knew the answer but I didn't admit it to myself.

I groaned inwards and picked up the pace. I continued down the far hallway and came to a complete halt as Bella came out the side stairwell. She crashed right into me because she was looking down again. She stumbled and I held my hand out and grabbed her arm to stable her. She flinched at my grip so I pulled my hand away.

"Sorry" she whispered still looking down.

"I didn't know the floor could be so interesting" I smirked.

What the hell was I doing? Don't speak just fucking leave! I shouted at myself. She hesitated for a second then her head snapped up and for the third time again today I got lost in her eyes. She let out a little sigh of relief and smiled which made me smile back.

"Sorry, I, um" She mumbled.

My book slipped out my hand and fell to the floor. We both bent down at the same time to pick it up. As she was about to stand up I was smacked right in the face by the smell of sweet strawberries.

"Its fine, um, thanks." I mumbled standing back up.

Her clumsiness and loss for words was fucking contagious. I couldn't do this I told myself I needed to get the fuck out of here!

"Sorry I, I've got to get to class" I mumbled.

I walked off not looking back as I went out the side entrance. The second bell hadn't even rung yet but still I took off running towards the gymnasium.