The cave was very large, and very wet. There wasn't a single place not flooded over, except a large pedestal. A shining sword rested in it, its hilt and flawless blade glowing. It gave the impression of majesty and power… right until you picked it up.

Shimi and Yukari suddenly appeared next to it.

"Thanks for taking me here, Yukari." Shimi said. Turning towards the readers, he said, "Hello, again, everyone! Today, I'll be interviewing the holy sword Excalibur from Soul Eater. In this anime, some humans have the power to change into weapons, which only their partners, called miesters, can use. Supposedly, Excalibur here can only be used by the chosen few, the ones who are true heroes. That's true… but at the same time it's a lie. Technically, anyone can wield Excalibur, but his personality insures that no one wants to."

With that said, Shimi sat down, waiting for Excalibur to say something. He didn't. They considered this, and Yukari said,

"Maybe you should try picking it up."

Shimi did, but the blade didn't speak.

"Maybe I should try talking to him. What do you think, Yukari?" The youkai shrugged. Shimi stared at the sword for a minute, and said, "So Excalibur, I don't know if you can hear me, or if you're asleep, or what, but I'm going to ask you a few questions. I'd really appreciate if you'd answer them. First, I-."

"FOOL!"

Shimi groaned, and Yukari grinned smugly.

"Well, looks like I won the bet after all."

Excalibur started glowing and Shimi muttered, "I should have known his first word would be fool."

The sword's light grew brighter, until it was practically blinding. The light faded, revealing that Excalibur had turned into a…humanoid…thing. It was completely white, both its skin and its clothes. It was about three feet tall, wore a top hat and what seemed to be a suit, but with no pants. The thing looked at the two interviewers, its expression unreadable.

"I am the holy sword Excalibur. You who presume to be my miester, do you really think you are worthy?"

Shimi cleared his throat.

"Well, I-"

"FOOL! My legend dates back to the 12th century! Can you claim to have such experience?"

Irritated, Yukari said, "Actually, I've been around for thousands of years."

"FOOL! You are clearly no older than 17!"

Yukari blushed.

"Thank you for saying so. I try to look young."

Excalibur didn't seem to care.

"What's your favorite color?"

The two interviewers exchanged confused looks.

"Well," began Shimi, "my favorite is-"

"FOOL! Who are you to choose one color over another? My legend-"

Shimi groaned.

"We don't want to be your miester! We're here to ask you a few questions! That's all!"

Excalibur stared at them for a moment.

"You're lying! Clearly you're just saying that so I'll become friends with you so you will get to use me for free! Just for that, you'll have to do 2,000 provisions instead the usual 1,000."

Shimi feverishly grinned and pulled out his notebook.

"Finally, something I can ask you about. Why do you make people go through all these tasks?"

Excalibur seemed to give this serious thought.

"How else am I supposed find the few who are actually worthy of being my miester? There certainly are a lot of fools out there."

Shimi nodded.

"That's true. Next question, if you're willing to bear with me: What's your favorite candy?"

Excalibur didn't answer; he just stood still, not moving at all. The interviewers waited for a few minutes for him to answer, but nothing happened.

"Maybe he's in a coma." Yukari suggested.

"That's absurd, since when do people have comas standing up? Maybe he's just ignoring us." Shimi pointed out.

"Perhaps," said Yukari, "But we can't continue the interview either way, and it's not like he actually wants to answer your questions."

Shimi looked longingly at the cave's entrance.

"Well, I guess we could go straight to the next interview."

Yukari made a gap for them to travel through.

"And who are we visiting next?"

Shimi grinned. "Ashura, of course!"

Yukari sighed dismally.

"Tell me, are we just going to interview madmen?"

"Maybe. Why do you think I started with you?"

Yukari started to look angry, but then she smiled.

"You know, that's actually kind of funny." Then she hit Shimi with her parasol. Shimi glared at her for moment, but decided he'd get his revenge another day. Before they could leave, a cry of "FOOL!" stopped them. They spun around and saw Excalibur walking toward them. Irritated with all this, Yukari walked up to him. They stared at each other for a moment, and Yukari said, "You keep calling us fools. How, exactly, are we being foolish?"

Excalibur kept staring at her.

"You don't need to know that. As for the last question, my favorite candy is candy corn. I invented candy corn in the 12th century, thus ending the Crusades."

Shimi blinked confusedly.

"What does candy corn have to do with the Crusades? Last I checked, it was invented in the 1880s."

"FOOL! The Crusades were a dark time. Its wars raged across Europe for centuries, even before my legend began. I went forth, alone and legendless, to find a way to stop it. There wasn't much I could do without a miester, so I sought a nonviolent way to end the fighting. I searched everywhere, but no solution could be found. It soon became clear that only my genius could solve this dilemma!"

Shimi snickered.

"So you invented candy corn?"

Excalibur blinked in surprise.

"FOOL! To stop the Crusades, I invented… shields!"

Shimi groaned.

"That doesn't make any sense! You were telling me how candy corn is related to the Crusades!"

"FOOL! It makes perfect sense! You do not see the vital role my story plays in the history of mankind! You have no right to question it!"

They glared at each other for moment, and Shimi said quietly,

"I came here to ask you questions. That's the whole reason I'm here. I'd say I have every right to question your story. If you don't want to answer them, then I'll just leave."

Excalibur looked a bit surprised, and asked,

"So, you just want to ask me questions?"

Shimi nodded.

"Exactly. Here's the first question: Will you answer my questions?"

Excalibur laughed.

"Certainly. To be honest, I'm grateful to have a visitor who doesn't want to be my miester. You have to understand, this sort of thing only happens once every few decades. Ask what you will."

"Then I have a question." said Yukari. "If you aren't as crazy as you seem, then why do you act that way?"

"The same reason I have for the 1,000 provisions." said Excalibur. "It weeds out the fools who would use me for petty reasons."

Shimi wrote this down and said,

"Ok, I heard that you used to work with Ashura. I was going to interview him later, but considering his madness is contagious and he'll kill anyone near him, I think I'll skip that. So I have to ask: What was Ashura like back then, before he became a Kishin?"

Excalibur looked surprised.

"How do you know about that?"

Shimi shrugged.

"I have my sources. You're one of them."

Excalibur looked at him warily for a moment, then said,

"Back then, Ashura was always scared of something. The second he was too powerful for it to hurt him, he was scared of something else. In other words, he was exactly as he is now."

Shimi wrote this and said,

"I heard that one of the people you worked with was… Well, how do I describe him? He looked like some sort of black goo. He said that he represents the madness of Power."

Excalibur nodded. "Yes, I remember him well. Rather unforgettable, really. He never told us his name, so we gave him one. He was known as… Inky."

Shimi stared at him.

"He's a giant… thing that's the embodiment of Power, and you named him Inky!?"

Excalibur nodded.

"Yes. He thought it was funny."

Shimi shrugged and wrote this in his notebook. "I have one final question: Where did you come from?"

Excalibur thought for a moment and said, "No one knows, not even me."

Shimi closed his notebook.

"Well, at least you answered the question. Thank you for your time, Excalibur." That said, Shimi and Yukari walked into her gap and disappeared.