Subaru Pov
It's pitch black...
It's dark.
I try to move, but I bump into something hard.
Holding out my hands and grabbing on, I feel rusted metal.
It's been like this for who knows how long...
My name used to be Natsuki Subaru. But people kept telling me I'm a Archbishop
I'm an Archbishop of Pride.
But... I know that's not true. I'm... Subaru... right?
"I don't know you!? I never had a knight!" Rang the voice of a half elf.
"I never had a contract with anyone ever, in fact." The voice of a little girl who ran a library.
"Rem's Hero has always been Ram. I do not know who you are but as an Archbishop." The voice of a Blue haired girl rang out.
Witch Cultist, Dog, Scum, Idiot, Him, Pride...
I'm starting to think those are my names and nicknames.
Everyday I always have cut off hands, dislocated fingers, broken bones, stabbed and slashed for who knows how long.
I remember back when I used to be still innocent, I acted like a dog for dirty bread.
The last time someone was even willing enough to tell me how long I was in here was 5 months.
And even that was quite the long time ago.
Opening my eyes after thinking... no wait, My eyes were always open. I stopped blinking a few days ago. And long ago I was resistant to some pain. I became resistant to alot of things... Probably because of my emotions. But it doesn't mean I can get used to death… It still scares me…
Well, after taking a look around my surroundings once more, it's quiet a small cell, but its open on all walls, so everyone can see.
The people who usually come and torture me for information was Felix and Julius.
Praying was useless. Hell, Even returning by death always ended up here. But I never returned by death alot, only around 67 times.
One of them was when I was burned alive, another was when my head exploded from explosives, there was another one where my skin was peeled off and was forced into hot temperatures. I died after a day or so. Or was It longer? I'm unsure.
As of this loop, I survived all of those things. my body keeps on getting healed so no matter what i'll be okay. My body is healthy other than hunger and thirst.
"... I want my mom and dad..." I uttered as I just stared into the ground.
"S-Subaru?" A voice rang out, looking up at one of the knights that tortured me. Julius.
I didn't answer but... Julius started to breathe in and out fast. "What... have I done...?"
He collapses to the, holding himself up by only his hands. I wonder what type of play he was going to do to get me to get more info.
"Julius! Are you okay!? Did he do-" Felix got knocked to the ground, It didn't take long to realize something. I wonder what happened.
"No.. It's not my fault. I'm not real.." Felix started to mutter to himself, tears were pulling from both of their eyes.
"Is this another act to get more information out of me?" Subaru said and Julius looked up to him, without hesitation he unlocked the door and... hugged me? Why?
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. SUBARU PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" Julius knew deep down, this crime was unforgivable. His whole reason to stand proud as a knight just to realize a true best friend he had was tortured brutally for who knows how long by his own hands.
"Subaru... You're a free man. Please, Get out. I don't deserve to be in the same space as you now this has happened. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
The man kept rambling on but my gut is telling me to go and walk out. And which I did. My ruined clothes which were drenched with old, dried blood and new blood. As I walked out, I stumbled around. Why are they not going after him? Did he serve the time he was doing?
Stumbling outside of the prison, It's nighttime, and It's raining.
Well, Let's just take a walk. That... fine I guess..
...
In another area, The Emilia Camp had just come back after completing the Pleiades Watchtower.
They don't remember how they completed it, but they didn't bother with trying to answer it.
Emilia, the Camp Leader, was in her room studying. Rem and Ram, the two maids. Were during the work. It was still something for Rem to be able to be awake even after coming out of the coma that was Gluttony.
Petra... Otto... Garf... Frederica... And everyone else.
They were all doing their own thing when a name rang out in their minds.
"Natsuki Subaru."
Why did their mind suddenly think that? What was th-
And then, like a shockwave. Memories flashing into their mind of this person. Which had the same look at the prisoned Pride.
"S-Subaru?" Emilia said to herself, she realizes that her knight.. was pride. Rather, a false conviction. And now, he was tortured without anyone knowing him.
Emilia is in such a state of shock that she can't even form words. It doesn't take long for loud cries to echo outside.
Natsuki Subaru was betrayed by all of them.
The Emilia camp got up together, guessing that everyone knew what was going on. They NEEDED to see the Knight.
The only people who didn't go was Petra and Meili alongside Frederica and Rem to watch them as well to protect the mansion.
Other Camps got their memories back on Natsuki Subaru.
And which, they also sent people to the prison to find..
Natsuki Subaru, The Lost.
...
Natsuki Subaru roamed the Streets, he was thinking... Probably too much. But was atleast happy to be able to roam the streets again and breathe fresh air.
"SUBARU!" The first one that came to him was a small blonde girl. Which Subaru knew as Felt. Alongside her was her knight, Reinhard. The Sword Saint.
The one who would smile with Pride now stands at the accused Pride.
Subaru looked mutilated. Other than his Face, he looked like a tainted body of a soldier who got plenty more sword stabs than necessary . But here he was... Walking.
"What... the.. What happened...?" Feeling at a loss of words, Reinhard almost vomited but was able to keep it in by his Divine Protection of not vomiting (yes I made this completely up.)
"S-Subaru... I'm sorry."
"And soon, they will all start saying that. Wouldn't they?" Subaru said which caught them startled, they looked up to the dreaded eyes of Subaru.
"You forgot about me. Everyone did, but... I'm back now. And remembered... thats such a fucking joke." Subaru chuckled upsettingly.
Subaru sighed, Felt was already sobbing while Reinhard was able to tear up without sobbing.
"But... It's okay I guess... I just wondered why you remembered only now. Why couldn't it be when I was still okay in the head ehh?" Subaru chuckled several times before having a small laugh. He then just holds his face up as he laughs before stopping.
"Whatever it was, I'm already too late. But it's better to continue with memories now. I'm guessing all the other camps came to cry and all that shit. But it's clear you just forgot somehow. I'm Predicted as Pride... right?"
"N-No... Your Subaru! Not pride. I'm... so sorry."
"That's what they all say." Subaru looked down at his torn tracksuit. "I have to get these sewed back. Ugh..."
Soon, more steps came over. It was the Crusch Camp. They even brought Crusch herself even though she was in a wheelchair. And the Merchant Princess, for some reason. But they saw the horror I was in.
For the first time, they were traumatized by their own actions. Reinhard wished he was dead, Felt wished she never met him, Crusch wished she trusted him no matter what.
"You all look so pathetic. Are these really the Prideful Camps that would go though the Election now look at me with such sadness. Doesn't look good on you, you know? Smile more."
But.. How could they smile? Subaru was forgiving them but he also was not happy. They killed Subaru without killing him. He was brought with more torture then anyone would ever had witness nor done.
"Come everyone, Let's walk along this rainy night. It's better to calm the mood. Brightening it is already too late."
Subaru started to walk off, but one after another, the 2 camps walked behind Natsuki Subaru. They didn't dare to speak. It was like their throat was clogged up. They didn't want to speak... They didn't deserve to speak to him.
Subaru went on to talk about some of the torture methods he had to deal with. And at this point, everyone had new or old tears now. The Merchant princess was in deep thought, she could never imagine how it feels to be forgotten by anyone. But here he was... Dammit... All those times she wanted to talk to him because he was so special.
The Thief Princess had already stopped crying, but was shaking heavily. Her big bro was messed up worse than what anyone in the slums could even do. Is this even her big bro? yes. It was. But, he seems more caring. It's our blame, not his...
and lastly, the Military Princess was done crying. She tried to stand prideful like Subaru said, but even so. It didn't feel right.. at all. Such an amazing person like Subaru. One that helped her and treated her the same even after she apparently forgot her old self. This isn't fair, Subaru.
"It's so nice you all care for me, But with all of this, It's still unbelievable this even happened in the first place."
Subaru stopped In front of him as a Carriage came into view. He already knew what this carriage belonged to. He already saw the first person in the front. Otto saw the small crowd of Camp members and soon halted.
"S-Subaru!?" Otto uttered out, he saw him In the same Tracksuit.
Subaru smirked and gave him a small wave, but Subaru's own blood was literally being washed away from the rain. Everyone could see it.
The Door of the Carriage slammed open and the first person to come out was the little Library girl, Beatrice.
She came over but stopped half way. She saw the state I was in. Everyone saw the state I was in. Even Roswaal, such a clown and funny guy for the first time looked uncomfortable with what he is seeing
"This is the consequences of our actions..." Beatrice uttered out as her legs dropped to the stone cold wet floor of the road. She starts to sob loudly, the rain pours onto her dress and hair causing it to get ruined. Even her little crown fell onto the wet stone floor and rolled In front of her.
The others of the Emilia camp saw the terrible state he was in.
Ram couldn't even look Subaru in the eye, daring herself not to cry over the dirt bag that was Subaru. But even so, it's hard to imagine not doing it. If only I was able to do something, then this camp would have been just like it was before...
Garfiel truly realized he was useless. He couldn't even help out his Captain. This was in fact the consequences of his foolishness. Subaru will hate all of them, no doubt.
Otto didn't cry but frowned deeply, in his own state of thought similar to that of the Merchant Princess. It wouldn't take long for everyone to find out the one they tortured was the hero that saved everyone from the witch cult back at the water city. This will be bad, very bad.
And the silver-haired half-elf was shell shocked. her tears fell onto the wet stone as her tears blended in with the rain. There was no doubt about it, Subaru hated everyone. And she was the main reason for it. If Puck was here... If Mother was here... If Anyone! was here... they would have helped him... She's such a stupid witch... they were all right...
Before they could say anything, Subaru said something.
"It's about time I fall unconscious after, with my wounds still pouring blood. My blood is being washed away from the rain. So I hope you're willing to take care of me while I'm asleep." Subaru rubbed the back of his head with an open smile before Subaru bowed with one of his hands on the chest before standing straight up again. "And Emilia.."
The Elf girl stood up, with probably buckets of tears overflowing as she waited for her knight to say the words she expected.
"I Love you, so don't burden yourself too much. Yeah?" Subaru gave a faint smile as he saw Emilia's confused face but he saw his eyes slowly looking to the sky without him doing it.
Landing on the ground, the stone rock floor was perfect to knock out the boy quickly. It was convenient as the raven-haired boy would later add on.
"SUBARU!" Many voices echoed out as they rushed to heal him.
Oh what a night this was... Subaru thought as his eyes fell down.
Narrator Pov now. (I think, im not going to reread this entire thing again)
Subaru wakes up, it's unknown how long but he does notice the noise around where he is at.
Subaru opens his eyes, moving his fingers around before sitting up.
"Oh. Hey."
Subaru saw a sleeping Beatrice and Emilia on his bed, hugging him.
It seems that they couldn't sleep or were too stressed. I don't know exactly how they are feeling but I also do.
Realizing your Lover, Knight, Contractor, whatever you could call him, was being tortured and you not knowing.
Subaru carries his hands over to both their heads and rubs them.
"Seems like you care for them."
"Yeah." Subaru says as he turns to see Ram sitting.
"How's Rem?"
"Emotionally messed up, just like these two."
"I would also say I'm a bit messed up due to your torture. Which, I am truly sorry for."
"It's fine Ram, it's over and done with. Gluttony ate my name and memories and I still remembered all of you. But Atlas, I was still brutally tortured. I'm probably never going to be okay ever again, but I'm okay with it. I can't be myself if I can overcome it. That's what I done before for so many other things."
Ram stays quiet.
"Sorry, making the air more tense right? Well.. it's whatever."
Ram still doesn't speak, she seems guilty.
"Well then, I'll probably rest for a few more hours. I'm tired after all."
"Alright Barusu, I'll be going… Take care." Ram gets up before making her way out.
Subaru realizes Ram said "Take care".. Which was definitely new. No doubt, she was feeling guilty…
Subaru looks back down to the Sleeping Beako and Emilia. He pats their heads before going right back to sleep. There's not much for him to do...
Subaru woke up, his eyes lay stranded on the ceiling.
Hell.
That's what was going through his mind. Finally being remembered by everyone, but he also hates them. But why tell them that?
He wants to be happy, and wants them to be happy. So.. I'll be happy, even if I have to fake it.
he can feel the weight of the two girls on himself, which he didn't have to even move for.
he tried to move over, but... the grip on them is quite tight. They really don't wanna let him go.
But, even so, he struggled for a bit before finally sliding himself out. onto the floor.
There was eyebags on his eyes, even sleep wouldn't help those for a few days or weeks.
Subaru used a blank to cover the two girls before sliding on slippers.
"What did I miss?" he wonders, looking down at his hand. moving each finger up and down.
He remembers doing the same thing, but this time. having all his fingers broken, nails ripped apart, and skin burned.
He wipes off the feeling as he walks over to the door. each step creeks into the wood before finally reaching it.
He takes his hand and turns the knob. Opening the door, he quietly enters into the hallway and exits the door.
The dim sunlight of the sky. Everything was a small tint of gray. Like if there was a massive fire going off and ash was in the air.
He starts to walk down the hall, maybe to get something to eat? He doesn't know right now. He thinks that he should clear his mind.
Go speak to Rem, go talk to Frederica, maybe even the two boys he used to know. Garf and Otto. But, he all knows that they would probably cry on the spot. So, for now. Maybe let's go talk to a certain clown who he thinks will be less about crying and more about the future.
Each step of the creek of the wood, he is using his hand to support himself as he would probably collapse without it.
"S-Subaru?"
A small voice is heard In front of him, which he didn't even realize.
With a noticeable bowtie of its head. He would remember.
Petra, the child maid.
"O-Oh... sorry." Subaru straightened his posture but failed. So he's a bit more bent. "Hey Petra."
Petra was the most emotional out of the bunch. But... she didn't cry or anything. She was just a bit sad.
"Are you doing okay Subaru? After... everything.."
"Ha... Definitely not. But I would rather not mop about it and move on." Subaru said as he clears his throat. He matured a lot though the pain but at the cost of a lot of emotion. He can still feel but not as much as a normal person.
"Do... you need anything? I'm always here to help you."
"I don't know where Ros-chi's office is. Think you can take me there?"
"I can do that!" Petra's frown turns upside down and has a more sparking look in her eyes.
"Thanks Petra." Subaru took her small and fragile hands as they walked a bit slow to the office. All while Subaru had to stay close to the walls to keep balance.
"What happened to the sky? it seems like there is ash in it." Subaru questioned.
"Because there is, There is a big forest fire not far from here. It's being worked on though so this bad air should go away." Petra exclaims.
"How long has it been since I was brought here?" Subaru asked enough questions.
"Uhh... a few days probably...? Everything was so quick as the door busted open. They carried you to a medical room and went to work on you there. What happened?"
Subaru, not wanting to hurt the fragile, innocent, and pure soul that Petra has, decides to avoid the question.
"Nothing really, just had a rough time at where I was." Subaru lied, for her sake.
The rest of the trip was quiet. But they finally reached the door.
"Thanks a lot Petra."
"No problem Subaru!" Petra waved and went off to do her chores.
Subaru turned back to the big front doors and knocked on them.
"Roswaal? It's Subar-" The door flung open. Pretty much expecting me to come to him.
"Subaru-kun! what a surprise it is to see you here!" Subaru smiled as Roswaal never held down the act.
"With nothing else to do, I wanted to come and chat to my Boss. Or rather, friends. Well honestly calling you a friend is being nice. Truth be told, I missed you a lot while in that dungeon you know."
Subaru stared at Roswaal, before Roswaal gave a motion to sit down.
"So, what's there to start? Anything you wanna tell me what's been happening while I was rotting in hell for a year or so?"
"Well... There's been a lot, probably too much to go on about. Definitely not because I'm lazzzy no no no no! But.. rather... There's probably too much that needs to be known as of right now. It's better for you to learn later tomorrow or a few days from now..."
"Sorry for a lot of things I guess." Subaru rubbed the back of his head before getting an unexpected answer from the lord.
"For what? If anything Subaru, we should be a lot more sorry." Roswaal had no clown accent or repeating words. He was serious in his wording, but he had the same smug smile.
"Right... so... what now?"
"Not a lot, there's honestly not much to do." Roswaal stared outside the window behind his office.
"Yeah... Well then, I guess let's talk about life."
"Yes, we should. There's much to talk about when talking about life my frieeeeend!"
They then talked about both their life's. How the hell Subaru had to deal with it. And even What Subaru did before.
3 hours later
Subaru is sitting down in some type of living room with Petra. She's been rambling on and on about all the things that have happened while Subaru was gone.
It seems to be the staff... or... anyone... has not told her that i was Pride.
That's good. If she knew her bro and hero was tortured for months in the most brutal ways possible... well.. you know.
And which, as she rambled on and on. I slowly fell back to sleep.
*pitter-patter pitter-patter pitter-patter pitter-patter*
The shot right now is Subaru outside on a Balcony. He remembers talking to Petra not too long ago.
'Why did this happen? Well... Everyone suffers, I just did the most.'
'From what I heard, Felix and Julius are on trial for brutally torturing a knight of one of the royal's and so on.'
'I became used to pain. Pretty sure that's a bad thing. But, hopefully I'll get my personality back and The people around me don't have to be all over me.'
'Hell... Even when I was asleep... That fucking witch... She was talking more, sobbing more. Why?'
'It's clear they never carried about me. Now they do? Bullshit.'
'But atlas. I'm still here. What is there to do? Ugh... I may have to turn to smoking or drinking but I'm only 18. My birthday is in a few months though, so I had to "Celebrate" it in the cell. When Julius and Felix caught wind it was actually my birthday, they made it one of the worst days for me.'
'I died a few times during that day.'
'What is there to do...'
Subaru thought to himself with all of this info.
The rain continues to drop heavily, he holds an umbrella as the water falls off it.
Subaru pays attention to the rain, the rain drop falls heavily and plops down. And then more and more.
The sky was dark and cloudy.
"Subaru, you should head back inside now. You may get sick!" A fragile small voice Is hears behind him.
He knows this voice of the Child Maid, Petra.
"I suppose I've been here long enough." Subaru turns and walks back to the pouting Petra.
"I don't want you getting sick due to the cold weather and rain..."
"Am I even able to get sick from the rain and weather? Maybe."
"Come on! My mama told me and she said you can. I think you shouldn't be out for too long you know!"
Subaru grins and rubs the head of Petra. "Alright, let's go back."
Subaru steps back into the mansion, shaking the umbrella before closing it.
"How is Emilia and Beako?" Subaru decided to ask a question.
"Still sleeping... They haven't woken up ever since. They must've been reeeally tired." Petra said as she walked along Subaru.
"Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised." Subaru reminds himself. "What about Rem?"
"She's awake, She's been working as well but she's probably really sad. I think you should go out and talk to her." Petra said something surprising grown up for a child like her.
"Ah, you think so?" Subaru stares at the floor as his wet shoes step on them.
"Subaru..." Petra says, which makes Subaru remind himself he is making a mess with his wet shoes.
"Oh.. my bad Petra." Subaru takes off his shoes and leaving his socks on to walk.
"Ill make sure to clean that for you." Petra said which prompted Subaru to respond.
"Are you sure? I can clean it myself."
"Yep! I can do it completely fine." Petra pulls out her arm and shows her biceps.
"Alrighty then..." Subaru said, before they continued walking down. They was no end, it was just a walk around.
"I do think you should go see her." Petra reminds Subaru.
"Yeah... I should, I guess I should but I think it wouldn't help so much. It's better to make sure everyone is relaxed. What about Frederica?" Subaru asked.
"Frederica has been doing the work still. I think you should go talk to her! You don't talk to each other a lot you know..."
Subaru gives a thought but his eyes turn back to Petra
"B-B-But I wouldn't mind if you just stayed with me. It's nice talking to you..." Petra says as she waves her hands around with an embarrassed face before looking down, her pointer fingers aligned with each other.
"Alright Petra! Let's go see Frederica together!" Subaru points up to the air with a wide grin. He himself realized. He was still Subaru. Maybe a bit hardened but... he still feared death. He will never shake the feelings of death away.
He is still Natsuki Subaru.
"Isn't that right Petra?" Subaru turned to Petra once more, a wide grin on her face and wide eyes as she did a similar pose of Subaru.
Hey everyone, I don't plan on writing until summer break hits. And so for now, I'm going to upload this. Basically, its a semi-realistic version of what really happens when Subaru is remembered but nothing out of order or crazy happens. The part from the prison to him falling unconscious in the middle of the stone street was written super poorly and i also feel like some of the reactions were out of order. So I tried my best to rewrite them. There will be more to this after I do GWTS Chapter 2. Which is currently at 3,555 words. So its going to be fire. Anyways, thanks for reading my garbage stuff.
byeee