Izuku wakes up and he doesn't scream. It's a very close thing.
Oh, he wants to. He feels it building up in his throat and bubbling over his tongue, but he keeps his lips sealed shut.
His eyes mistake the shadows cast on the walls for bodies. The black bleeds into red, and blood drips over his hands. It fills up his lungs and drains into his stomach and out of his ears - it's sticky and wet and warm and he's killed a lot of people.
His dream lingers in his mind. It's tattooed to the underside of his eyelids, flaring up every time he blinks.
He ignores the blood, and closes his eyes again.
It's dark. It's dark and he can't see, and then suddenly Eri is there.
She's in the nightgown he found her in, arms all bandaged up and horn too big for her head. Her right eye is bleeding (that's where he stabbed Chisaki Kai-) and she's riddled with bullet wounds (every single place he shot a guard or scientist-).
"Deku," she says, and he flinches. He hasn't heard that name in a long time - where'd she hear it?
"Deku," she says again. "Why did you hurt me?"
He's confused. He hasn't hurt her - no, he promised not to hurt her, to never yell at her or lay a harming hand upon her. He hasn't hurt her.
Has he?
No. He hasn't. He won't, he promised and he keeps his promises.
"Eri? Bug, I don't know what you mean." He starts walking towards her - why's she so far away? "Can you tell me what I did? Are you okay? Why are you in your nightgown?"
He reaches her and kneels down. Her eyes are full of tears, and she latches onto his arm.
"Why did you hurt me?" she repeats. He looks up from her teary face - there has to be someone who can help - and there are bodies, all around them. All of the scientists lie like river stones, scattered and stacked; and sat upon examination-table thrones are Chisaki Kai and Kurono Hari.
Kurono is very much dead.
Chisaki Kai is very much not.
He rises and Eri chokes on the fear that's threatening to strangle Izuku.
"Deku, why did you hurt me?"
He stands and nudges her behind him, hiding her from Kai. He's not shaking. He's not.
Kai stops just in front of him and he looks just like he did that first day on the streets. His mask is flush to his cheeks, gloved hands swaying by his sides, and his green coat hangs off of him like chains. His eyes are just as dead as they were before he died.
One gloved hand reaches up and rests on Izuku's cheek, and his muscles lock. The hand stays there. Kai's head tilts to the side as if asking a question, and once again Eri asks her question.
"Deku, why did you hurt me?"
Chisaki Kai grips his throat. Izuku can do nothing. Chisaki Kai reaches around him and grabs Eri by her hair. Izuku can do nothing. Chisaki Kai listens to Eri scream and watches her struggle as he lifts her up off her feet. Izuku can do nothing. Chisaki Kai kills him, and he doesn't know what happens to Eri after his vision goes dark.
Izuku can do nothing.
Izuku opens his eyes. He slips out of bed. He pays no mind to the shadows as he makes his way out of his room, blood sloshing around his ankles.
Izuku spends the rest of the night sitting outside Eri's room, eyes open and suffocating.
-
It's a week after Izuku's birthday and Eri wants to go outside. More than that, however, she wants Izuku to go with her.
The problem is, she doesn't know what people do outside.
She knows that people go outside. She knows that they go outside to have fun. She knows that there are fun things to do outside.
She just doesn't know what they are.
So she asks and Izuku looks up from the kitchen table, where he's got notebooks and textbooks all laid out and messy, and his eyes shine and he immediately sits up straight.
"Yes, yes, of course we can go outside, do you want to go right now or do you want to go tomorrow or, better than that, where do you want to go? I can take you any time, well outside of shop hours because I have work," and he doesn't seem to be running out of breath, she wonders how, "but any time I'm not working we can go! Oh, but also we'd have to not go at night, so that means we'd have to go during the day, and hours at the shop are flexible, so maybe I should set up a time to go-"
He cuts himself off abruptly, eyebrows drawing together as he looks at her.
"Do-do you have a place you want to go?" He looks so incredibly confused and delighted that she almost can't hold back the laugh bubbling up in her chest.
"Nope," she says, smiling. He nods and bites his lip.
"Okay," he says, shifting in his seat so that he can face her. "We can go to a shop, or we can go to a garden, or we can go to an arcade or a temple, which both might have a lot of people. Which sounds best?"
She draws a hesitant breath and steps forward, pulling herself into the chair next to him.
"What's a park?"
Izuku's eyes blow up wide, and his cheeks puff up as he goes red.
"Yes," he whispers reverently. "I'm gonna take you to a park for the first time."
-
It takes a week of planning on his part, but it's finally here. The shops closed, after an apology to Mr. Aizawa (their only reliable customer), who just waved them off with a grunt. He's got a picnic basket with a blanket, water, and pastries he's made, and he's ready.
Eri wakes up and he brushes her hair, helps her get dressed - shorts, a white tee that says 'blue', and sneakers - and then they're off. It's only a short walk to the park from their shop, so they forgo the bicycle and Eri takes her place sitting on his shoulders.
It's about five minutes before Eri announces their arrival with a gasp and a squeal. She clambers down him and grabs his hand, pointing at the play structure.
"What's that for?"
Izuku kneels down and gestures at each piece. "Well, that's the slide, that's the sandbox, that's the money bars, that's the seesaw, and those are the swings."
Eri hums, eyebrows furrowing, and for a second Izuku feels like he made a mistake bringing her here. But then that second is over, because Eri looks at him and her eyes pierce his soul.
"Can I go on the swings, please?"
His heart swells and he nods, rising and walking with her over to the swings.
"Here, you sit on it," he lifts her up onto the seat, "grab the chains so you don't fall," he places his hands loosely over hers on the chain, "and you pump your legs." His hands go from hers to where the chain meets the seat. "Or, if you want, I could push you!" He can't help the hope that colors his voice at the idea, and blushes a bit. "Mom used to do that for me before I learned how to swing by myself."
Eri turns to look at him over her shoulder, smile bright and eyes wide with excitement. "Yes, please!"
-
Izuku grins and pulls the swing back, and she's ready. "Alright, bug, remember to hold on tight!" And then he pushes up the seat and her hands fly up to clutch the chains tighter and her eyes widen and her legs straighten out and she's flying!
And then she swings back down, and Izuku catches her and swings her back up! This time she flies for longer, going even higher off the ground, and she lets out a breathless cry of joy. She laughs as she swings back and forth, alternating between flying and falling, being pushed and being caught. She doesn't quite know when she starts crying, but her eyes overflow at her happiness and she's so happy it could make her sprout wings.
It goes on for a lifetime. Flying, falling, flying, falling, and then Izuku slows her down, until her toes brush the grass beneath her. She's trying to catch her breath, her chest trying to switch between laughing and crying, but she's grinning like Izuku does. She sees him lean around the swing, eyes searching her face with his soft concern. The sun is high in the sky, and it casts gemstone shadows in his eyes.
He looks like an angel, and it's not the first time she's noticed it.
Her hands are shaky from gripping the swing chains so hard, but she still reaches out and touches his cheek, laughing as his face shifts from worry to love.
"Thank you," she says. "Thank you.
Izuku…
Papa brings a hand up and rests it lightly on hers - and he's touching her, he's not flinching away or disappearing, he's kind and good and lovely - and smiles. "Of course, bug. Anytime."
-
He lays down the blanket in the shade and sits down, rummaging through the wicker basket for water and pastries. Eri looks over from the sandbox with interest, her eyes still a bit red from crying. As he's setting everything out, she gets up and sits down next to him.
"It's lunchtime?"
He looks up and nods, wearing his softest smile. "Yup! We've got water, anpan, curry bread, apple danishes, and chocolate croissants. I say we eat savory before sweet, but what do you think?"
Eri makes a show of tilting her head, putting a finger up to her chin. "Hmmm." She takes a big breath and looks him in the eyes very seriously. "I don't know. I think I should get to eat the sweets first." She looks at him carefully, taking in his theatrically shocked expression with a bit of worry, but any worry is squashed when he breaks into a laugh.
"Oh, oh my- that was- bug, I think Mom's rubbed off on you!" His shoulders shake and he grasps at his stomach as he struggles for breath. "That was awesome," he wheezes. He's still shaking as he passes over an apple danish. She tears open the wrapper with relishes, biting down into the homemade pastry as she crumples the plastic into a ball and places it in Izuku's waiting hand.
Incredibly pleased with herself and Izuku's reaction, Eri gets up and drapes herself over his back, still munching on her pastry as Izuku breaks open his own curry bread.
"This is fun," she murmurs, resting her head on his shoulder. "Can we do this again?"
Izuku swallows and reaches up to ruffle her hair. "Absolutely, bug. Any time you want."
-
It's August before Eri feels comfortable enough to go out shopping with him. Her horn has shrunk quite a bit, and paired with her hair (he asked about a haircut and she looked at him like she was going to cry, so he didn't bring it up again) and her sweetheart eyes, she looks like an angel.
They head to the mall, taking the trains. It's her second time on a train with him, and he watches as she spends it looking out the window and soaking in the scenery that flies by around her. It's a beautiful day, he decides. It's a good day.
The station they get off at is large, and there are a lot of people walking around, carrying bags and talking with friends. She clutches his hand like it's the only thing keeping her from floating away, and he starts talking to her. Small, quiet things, like how the weather's been and why it's been like that, like how the buildings are built, and where everything is. He points out the police box and waves to the officers, who smile and wave back. He talks about why there aren't any trash cans outside, he talks about the types of crepes the vendors sell, he talks about all the different kinds of UFO catchers, and he talks about how heroes work in crowded places. He can see when her anxiety wavers, and in its place comes curiosity.
They arrive at a huge building that's bustling with people.
"We're going to floor three," he tells her. "That's where the clothes will be." He grins at her and she manages a shaky grin back. "The ones that fit you, at least." And he takes her up an escalator, eyes darting over all the other people moving around.
Mutation quirk. Fire quirk. Minor mental quirk. Mutant quirk, frog. Water quirk. Oh, quirkless. Tactile quirk. Tactile quirk. Mutation quirk. Electricity quirk. Sound quirk. Mutation quirk.
They arrive at their floor, and Izuku takes her over to the first shop they'll be going into today. With the way her eyes light up, she seems to like it. They wander through the racks and shelves, peeking around at all the things. At her insistence, Izuku sets Eri on his shoulders so that she can see "more of the stuff, Papa!"
Oh.
She's called him papa. It takes a second for him to notice it, and she freezes.
Almost immediately, he bursts into tears. When she panics, he reaches up and pats her cheek, sniffling.
"They're happy tears, bug," he chokes out. "Promise."
He can't see her, but she nods. His promises are truths.
"Okay," she murmurs. "I believe you, Papa."
They end up leaving the mall with four bags of clothes and other assorted necessities, the most notable being a rainbow cat bean-bag chair, a rainbow unicorn hoodie, and a red and white smock dress with pockets in the front. On the train back, she sits next to him and leans into his side. He keeps an eye on their bags and an arm around her, absentmindedly tracing circles into her shoulder.
It's a good day.