Hello again, short chapter this time. I'm writing this on a computer that isn't even mine so I kind of wrote this in a hurry. Apologies for any errors, I had a past/present tense confusion halfway through.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. True story.

Castle woke with what felt like a hangover. Had he drank last night? Maybe Beckett hooked up liquor to his IV…

He looked, just to be sure.

No...Damn.

As he started to move, he struggled with the fact that his whole body was just going to hurt all the fucking time. Heck, it felt like he was tortured yesterday, not last week. The stab wounds in his side and the bullet wound on his chest were particularly painful this morning. Getting shot wasn't nearly as cool as it was in his novels, though he already knew that.

Just the memory of when Beckett was shot made him shudder, he had gotten lucky. His bullet hadn't been a fatal shot, unlike hers. He was immensely lucky she was even still alive.

Despite his better instincts that demanded he stay completely still, he tried to sit up. He wanted coffee, and painkillers. And he had to pee, how was he supposed to avoid moving? He looked at the walker that stood at the end of his bed, he didn't know who put it in his room, but just looking at it made him even more determined to walk on his own.

Painfully, he picked up his little oxygen tank from hell and lifted himself off the bed. His entire body protested and he plopped back down in pain. He was already short of breath and he hadn't even taken one step yet. This was going to be just so much fun.

Castle tried again, throwing away some of his pride as he reached for the walker. His breath came in short pants as he held his body up with his arms. His legs felt like empty, even putting small amounts of weight on them made his joints nearly give out. It was like the bones were elastic.

His body protested as he made his way to the door. He turned up the oxygen a bit on his tank so he wasn't breathless like he'd just run a marathon. It took him a few minutes to walk only a few feet, but he made it and slowly opened the door.

He nearly ran his walker over the two sleeping girls curled up beside his door. His daughter had her head on Beckett's shoulder; both of them looked exhausted and sound asleep. Castle smiled at the image. He felt affection for both of them lump in his throat. He was careful not to wake them as he pulled their blanket over them a little more.

Were they really so worried about him that they needed to sleep outside his door? It was far too sweet for them to be that concerned, but really, they shouldn't worry so much. He'd be fine, hopefully back to normal soon.

Castle managed to make it to the kitchen, but once he got there, he was far too tired to keep going and sat down on one of the stools. Even with the oxygen, his breath was coming in desperate gasps. It was beyond frustrating, he barely even exerted himself and he was already tired enough to pass out from exhaustion.

Castle leaned his head forward, pressing his forehead on the cool granite countertop. The feel of the cold metal on his face brought a rush of images to the forefront of his mind, a cold scalpel splitting his skin. Metal cutting deep into his side...

It was like he was there again, in that room.

He sighed heavily, lifting his head back off the table.

Castle wasn't naive; he'd done a ton of research on PTSD for his books. He'd seen it first hand in his muse, but experiencing it was something completely unexpected. He knew that was exactly what was wrong with him, that sometimes he'd just disappear into painful flashbacks. He almost felt like what he'd been through didn't deserve that, like it wasn't bad enough for him to be experiencing Post traumatic stress disorder, but he couldn't help it. The images wouldn't go away and while, it wasn't real bad, he knew he couldn't ignore it forever.

And what if it wasn't that bad, he could just still be having mini aftershocks of what happened, maybe it wouldn't last long, maybe he wouldn't need any help.

The feel of delicate fingers running through his hair distracted him from his thoughts; he looked up to see who owned the soothing hand. Castle's eyes met Kate's as he looked up, her bright green eyes staring back at him in concern.

"How'd you get over here?" Kate asked, eyeing the walker.

"I walked. Did you enjoy your little slumber party with my daughter?"

She smiled, "Yes, the theme was worry about a reckless man by the name of Richard Castle." Castle answered her light tone with a grin, knowing she needed to see him smiling. He could tell by the slight shiver in her hand and the bags under her eyes that she still worried for him. It gave him a small bud of hope, but he quickly redirected his thoughts on that. He didn't need those kinds of feelings in his life right now; they'd only depress him further.

"So, if you need help walking, please ask." She said seriously. Her shift in demeanor struck him, and he ended up nodding solemnly. He didn't want help, his pride was already wounded from needing help to stand properly, but then again, it would make Beckett feel better.

"Now can I get you anything?"

"Coffee." Castle answered immediately, earning a smirk from Beckett. "And how about a good morning kiss?" Castle said it jokingly, and waved his hand like it was no big deal. And it wasn't, he said that kind of stuff on a regular basis. He honestly didn't want to think about his one-sided feelings for Beckett at the moment. But Castle didn't know about Kate's little epiphany. So when she leaned in and gave him a light, but firm kiss on the lips, he was speechless.

She turned casually to the coffee machine, like she hadn't just kissed him or that his jaw wasn't on the floor in shock. He must be dreaming, or hallucinating.

"Were any of the drugs the doctor prescribed me hallucinogens?"

She laughed, it was the happiest sound he'd heard from her in a long time, "Not that I know of, but I did tell the doctor to give you the good stuff." Her eyes met his and she winked at him.

I'm definitely dreaming. Castle thought, blinking a few times as if he would wake up in his bedroom the next time he opened them.

"Well, that explains it." He laughed, happy that he could get her to smile for a moment. The bags under her eyes seemed to fade little by little when she was smiling. Before, at the hospital, he had never seen her look so tired. It was like every hour he spent out cold, she spent wide awake.

He hoped this wasn't a dream, it didn't feel like one. Everything was too real. Maybe she felt bad for him, that she was just teasing him to make him feel better. But Kate wouldn't do that, she wasn't that cruel. But then why now? Just a little kiss on the lips. It was something he hadn't been expecting. Even if every little teasing comment hinted at what he really wanted, he never expected her to act on it. Nor did he want her to feel like she had too.

He studied her as she sauntered towards him with a cup of coffee in her hand. Was she doing that on purpose? Walking that way. Smiling like that. Surely, those were not her normal ways of acting around him. He would've noticed, she was doing something different. The way she leaned in next to him just a little too close for it to be by a casual gesture, or how she lingered there for a moment was definitely not on accident.

Since she was already close, and the fact painkillers were impairing his judgment, he decided to do a test. His hand reached the cup her face. As he placed a hand on her cheek, her eyes locked with his. Interesting, she wasn't pulling away. Castle leaned in, seeing how far he could go before her wall stopped them. He leaned his forehead against hers, gently stroking her cheek. Her eyes glassed over, but it wasn't in sadness or fear. He only had one name for that look and he couldn't even think it right now. There were far too many emotions flowing between them to contemplate that look.

"Castle?" She whispered, her voice cracking slightly. Beckett didn't like to cry in front of people, he knew she'd probably withdrawal if that happened, so he ended their intimacy with a quick but heartfelt kiss and he pulled away.

Kate was startled by the abrupt end to their emotional exchange, but quickly recovered. Pushing the tears behind her eyes and joining Castle for morning coffee. Castle almost expected her to give an excuse to leave the room, or his apartment, but she didn't. To his astonishment, she simply placed her hand over top his. She kept it there, it made Castle smile. And a few minutes later, when Alexis walked in, she kept it there.

Maybe he did have reason to hope.

Alexis and Kate were quick to make breakfast for him. He tried to stand up to help, but they immediately settled him back down. He didn't argue, his body was killing him. He would need to take more painkillers soon, the thought made him frown. Weren't such strong pain killers supposed to make you feel relaxed and high? All they seemed to do was make his body useless and thoughts fuzzy.

He laughed to himself when Kate set a plate of pancakes in front of him, remembering when he made them at her old apartment. He was happy to see a smile on her face when he looked up to thank her.

As he ate, he felt both the eyes of his daughter and Beckett on him, studying him. He met their gaze a few times and he grinned in an attempt to reassure them. Castle was secretly pleased with Kate and Alexis's little camaraderie, but their constant worry made him feel a little crowded. He knew better though, he did get shot. When Beckett got shot, it killed him to even leave the room, to be apart from her for so long when he knew she was hurt. If Alexis was ever injured like that...God, he'd never leave her alone again.

"Do you need your painkillers?" Beckett asked suddenly, taking in his distressed expression. Castle wanted to say no, but his injuries were starting to really hurt. He scowled, but nodded in acceptance. Kate was out and back with a couple of pills and a glass of water in seconds.

"Thank you." He said, taking the pills, internally growling at the feel of them sliding down his throat.

Beckett looked at little less distressed as she hesitantly threaded her fingers through his hair. He smiled at her reassuringly, and her fingers grew more confident in their exploration. At the soothing feeling of Kate's hands, he started to feel the effects of the painkillers. The painkillers were much too strong, he didn't like it. The drugs made him fuzzy and unable to focus. He would attempt to focus on something and it would fade before he could grasp it. He tried this, with the smile on his daughter's face as she left the room and the gentle affection Kate was giving him, but he just couldn't.

After a few short minutes, his mind was incapable of understanding much of anything.

Later, a nurse came in to check on Castle. She was overly chatty and practically in love with him, not that Beckett could really blame her. At least she hadn't made some sort of lame medical excuse to see him naked, if that was the case she might have had to interfere. Castle was polite but overall, didn't pay her much mind. He was too drugged to focus on anything really. It didn't stop nurse Debra from talking their ears off though. She talked about how much she just loves his books and how she's looking forward to his next Nikki Heat book. Kate smiled at that, Debra was passionate about the books, she'll give her that.

It was nearly an hour before she finally left, but he was given a solid bill of health and she promised to return later to check on him. Kate is grateful for the nurses input, she didn't know what to look for and it's comforting to have consistent updates on his health just to be sure.

Somewhere in the middle of the check-up, Castle transitioned from high as a kite to sleeping like a baby. Kate reminded herself to make the most of high Castle next time, and bring a camera. With his kind of imagination, she'd bet he would say some crazy things.

She was a little grateful for his current slumber, it gave her time to reign in her own exhaustion. Alexis was here, Martha would be here in just a few minutes. She could leave, gather her things at her apartment and come back. She would only be gone a few minutes, she had time.

Kate left a note for Alexis at her door, she can hear the teen talking on the phone. Beckett grabbed her coat and rushed out the door, already eager to be return.

...

Somehow, Castle made it to his bedroom. He wondered briefly if Beckett carried him before immediately dismissing the thought. She's strong, but not that strong. He must be still high, yet the mental image made him chuckle.

His pain felt much more manageable now. He stood without the gruesome agony that accompanied him before. He was still slow, crippled, but he felt stronger. He glanced the the clock, five pm, he'd been out for awhile then. He limped into the kitchen without much trouble, and sat at one of the stools. The fact that it seemed like no one was home made him a little nervous, but he quickly dismissed it. Maybe Kate and Alexis needed to make an errand run.

Feeling overall better and somewhat hungry, he made his way over to the cabinet, feeling confident in his ability to move without pain. It was almost like normal, not quite, but this could be a first step for him. He took down bowls, retrieved milk from the fridge. Happy that he could do this one thing without assistance.

He reached up for the cereal boxes, immediately regretting it as he felt the tug and pull of his stitches. A wave of nausea came over him and he stumbled back, falling to the floor. Pain ripped through him like an animal and he screamed. It was like someone had punched straight through him. He went immediately still, his vision spotting with pain and images of his attacker. He remained still as the images flooded his senses, he already knew they were just memories, yet the pain in his abdomen was overwhelming his logic. Desperate, he made a move to get up, run away from his attacker. He howled, the motion causing waves of pain to lap at his chest. His body throbbed with the motion. Moving was bad, not a good idea.

"Dad? Dad!" Alexis's voice brought him out of his visions and he made an effort to focus on her. "Oh god, Dad. I'm going to call 911."

He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down."No...don't. I'm okay. I'm okay."

"No you're not Dad, I think you pulled out your stitches." Alexis sounded desperate. Castle forced his eyes open, she was at his side, clutching his hand almost to the point of pain. He focused on the feel of her hand, he was fine. He just needed a moment.

"No they're still in there, I can feel em." He croaked, the tug of the stitches was still present, he didn't break them.

"Then I'm calling Beckett and if she says to call the hospital, then you're going." She said sternly, he would've laughed at her expression except the pain hadn't stopped. He breathed deeply and rested his head back on the floor. The cool feel of tile against his cheek felt good.

"Oh god, Richard. Are you okay, darling?" Oh great, his Mother would no doubt call an ambulance.

Still, he made an effort to reassure her, "I'm fine, Mom."

"No you're not fine! Did you call an ambulance, Alexis?" Alexis glared at him, but shook her head.

"I wanted to, he said he didn't need one. I called Beckett though, no answer."

"We could take him to the hospital-"

"Girl's, I'm fine." He interrupted quietly, his voice was weak from shouting. He inspected himself for any legitimate damage. "See guys, look no permanent marks, I'm fine."

"But Dad, you...you were screaming and stuff. You scared me to death. Are you sure you're alright?" Castle cringed at that, he hated that his daughter had to hear that. Martha patted his head and they helped sit him upright. The motion made him a little dizzy, but he felt okay. He got lucky this time, he'd just have to be more careful.

"Sorry, I was just a little clumsy, that's all." He said, hoping they'd let it go and help him back to bed. Castle felt a little embarrassed about this incident and wanted nothing more than to sleep it away. Martha glared at him, like the second he wasn't look she was going to pick up the phone and call an ambulance anyway.

Suddenly, the door flew open with enough force it might have made a whole in the wall. Beckett stood in the entryway, her hair was drenched and her expression was filled with panic.

"Castle!"

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I'm hoping to somewhat wrap this up next chapter.