Fic: Rachel Needs Some Action
Chapter 11: Be Mine
Author: deeha
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
Summary: Tina thinks that Rachel needs to get some action. Rachel's just been busy. But when Santana comes into the picture, Rachel seems to be less busy.
"Are you going to eat that?"
"You want it?"
Santana greedily takes the hash browns from Rachel's breakfast plate. They are sitting at a Denny's Restaurant, because it's the only restaurant near their apartment that's open after Santana's bar lounge performance (both huge factors in their decision).
Rachel is eyeing Santana's fruit bowl.
"Do you want some grapes?" Santana asks as she picks a grape from the stem and offers to feed Rachel.
Rachel happily accepts being fed and blows a kiss in Santana's direction.
"I think I'm going to die from how sappy we are." Santana says.
Rachel laughs and could really care less if it were true. She's freaking happy. She couldn't ask for a more perfect morning: where she can sit in a crummy booth at a less than savory restaurant and be fed grapes by a very sexy, hot, beautiful woman (see Santana).
"And why are you sitting across from me again?" asks Santana.
"Because you have no self control and I don't want to be felt up while I eat my breakfast."
"I laugh because you think a table will stop me."
And sure enough, Santana's toes are gently brushing against Rachel's leg.
Rachel still hasn't figured out how she is automatically turned on when Santana touches her. Maybe it's something that she doesn't really need to figure out.
It's a coincidence that Rachel and Santana bump into Tina and Mike on the street. Kind of like how in the show Seinfeld, Jerry and Elaine always run into George or Kramer...
"Rachel! I was just thinking of you! What do you think about commercial acting for..."
"Don't say IBS." Rachel interrupts Tina.
"...irritable bowel system. How did you know I was going to say that?"
"Tina, I realize beggars can't be choosers, but I really don't want to do commercials that cast me with some medical disorder."
"But seriously Rachel, these med companies love you! You can pronounce these medical terms and sound like you know what it is!"
Santana, "Smart. Pander to her ego."
Rachel smacks Santana on the arm.
"Rough. I like."
Mike grabs Santana away from Rachel before any more violence. Tina links arms with Rachel and they fall behind Santana and Mike.
Out of Santana's hearing range, Tina asks, "So any whompa whompa?"
"What?"
"Hanky panky?"
"Oh. Well, things. But I have plans."
"Yea?"
Rachel leans in conspiratorially and says, "Tonight. I'll put on a record and pull her in to dance. Then I'm going to smell her hair, I'm going to lean in... I love her scent: Coconut. Then I'm going to kiss her lobule of auricle."
"What? How do you get from her hair to down there?"
Rachel laughs and says, "It means her ear lobe, not her down there parts."
"See. Look at you. A regular Doogie Howser M.D., you sure you don't want to do those commercials?"
Rachel groans.
"Hey but seriously what are you guys waiting for? Don't you read the newspaper? There could be a natural disaster tomorrow! The apocalypse! You're not going be able to do it. And I won't be here to hear about it!" says Tina.
"I will make love when it is making love."
"I've had it with you. We don't have anything in common. I don't want to speak with you."
Tina starts to walk back to Mike. But then turns around to say, "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Rachel tries to wave goodbye but Santana tackle hugs her.
"So why is Tina pushing the commercial bit?" asks Santana.
"It's just something to pay the bills while I'm waiting for my agent to find worthy auditions for Broadway."
"Do you like doing it? The commercials?"
"I'm pretty good at it."
"I know some other stuff you're good at." says Santana as she leans into kiss Rachel.
(In the distance Tina is cheering them on).
When the work week starts again, Rachel gets busy...again.
She has to make up for the days she took off, which means long hours and getting home late. To add her schedule, it's not just commercials that she is doing, but she's also auditioning for anything and everything.
(Except the IBS commercials. She refuses to do that.)
What makes things worse is that Santana's schedule is the exact opposite. When Rachel is at the studio or theater hopping, Santana is getting her beauty sleep. And by the time Rachel gets back...Santana is off to the bar lounge to sing.
Rachel is not afraid to admit it: she misses Santana.
She can't stand another day/night without some sort of contact with her (it's only been two days...).
So she gets in her mind that she can make it back to the apartment before her next audition...and surprise Santana!
Rachel knocks on Santana's apartment door. There is music blaring inside...so Rachel has to pound on the door.
She waits a bit and then hears Santana yell Rachel's name from the other side of the door. Rachel assumes that Santana is surprise to see her from the peephole.
She hears some shuffling and the door opens just ajar.
"Rachel! What's up? I thought you had that audition?" asks Santana between the crevice of her door and wall.
Rachel is a little miffed that Santana hasn't opened the door and invite her in. "Hi, I do...but it's like in an hour...so I thought I'd surprise you. I've missed you."
Santana still hasn't opened the door all the way.
Rachel's getting a little nervous. Maybe it was a bad idea to be spontaneous.
"Should I come back another time?" asks Rachel.
"No! It's just. I..."
"Don't worry, I mean I should have called." Rachel feels like a house fell on her. She's embarrassed and upset and hurt. She's questioning if there is a girl inside Santana's apartment.
Santana swings the door open and pulls Rachel inside. It's so fast, Rachel feels like she got whiplash. The music is still blaring. It's Linkin Park's Burn It Down. Rachel tries to get reoriented, but Santana's television is also on...it looks like Santana was playing Guitar Hero. Speaking of Santana, when Rachel finally turns around to look at her...Santana is putting on her eyeglasses.
(Guess she really does need eyeglasses).
Rachel bursts out laughing. Santana is running to turn her stereo off. It's at this moment that Rachel sees that Santana is wearing an old grey Ramones t-shirt and just boy briefs...Superman printed boy briefs.
"I can't believe you caught me." says Santana.
Rachel is still laughing.
Santana is about to turn off her game, but Rachel goes to stop her. "Oh you don't have to stop! I'm sorry I interrupted your afternoon."
"What no, I just...I was just...uh, yea I got nothing. This is how I spend my afternoons. I listen to music and play video games in my underwear."
Rachel hums.
Santana grabs Rachel by the waist and pulls both of them to the couch and asks, "Are you put off by my lackadaisical life?"
"Are you trying to distract me with big words?"
"Maybe."
Rachel turns into Santana and traces her fingers on the waistband of Santana's briefs. "I like these."
Santana gulps. "They're my favorite."
"They look comfortable."
"I got a bunch...it came in a Justice League pack."
"I got Wonder Woman boxers."
Santana groans and kisses Rachel senseless. Rachel just about faints. "Why are you so good at kissing?"
"Girl. Superman or Green Lantern ain't got a-nothin' on me." Santana sings.
Rachel loves it when Santana sings (Santana appears to know this...very well).
Santana continues to sing, "When you've made your mind up forever to be mine... I'll pick up your hand and slowly blow your little mind...When you've made your mind up forever to be mine..."
Then Santana picks up Rachel's hand and kisses her wrist. She doesn't really stop there, but only to sing, "I'll pick up your hand."
Rachel congratulates herself for surprising Santana. Rachel needed this little break. She needed some one on one time.
But other people were not of the same mind.
Rachel's phone is ringing. Santana is un-buttoning Rachel's white dress shirt. And Rachel is motioning for her to speed it up. She's only got so much time.
The phone is still ringing. Santana smiles and says, "Go ahead and answer it. You been auditioning, it might be a callback."
"If they want me they'll wait!"
"And so will I."
Oh. God. Why is Santana so freaking romantic? Rachel's heart has just exploded from all the meaning in Santana's words.
Santana grabs Rachel's phone, answers it and holds it up to Rachel's ear. Rachel greets her caller. And as Santana predicted, it was a callback. Rachel quickly says thank you to the caller and hangs up. She straddles Santana and bounces up and down excitedly as she squeals happily.
"Callback?" asks Santana.
"Yes! For Anything Goes I already sang for them, but now they want to see me tap dance. I'm so excited!"
"Nice! Come on, you got to get ready!"
"Come with me!"
"What? I'll be in your way."
"No you won't. You're my good luck charm."
Rachel pulls them both off the couch and into Santana's room. She tries to find some jeans for Santana to wear. She finds Santana's lingerie drawer. "We will have to revisit this. Where are your pants?"
Santana laughs, puts on some jeans, grabs a hat (her hair is a mess), grabs her keys and phone, and then she's pulled out of her apartment. Following Rachel hand in hand into a taxi, eyeglasses and all.
There are hundreds of girls who are at the callback. Rachel is a little nervous. She knows what it feels like to choke at an audition.
Santana grabs her hand, and says, "These girls are ridiculous. You want me to pop a few?"
"What? No. You don't have to resort to violence."
But Rachel tightens her grip on Santana.
One of the girls walk up to Santana and asks, "Are you Santana Lopez? The singer? I saw you last night!"
Santana smiles, "You know I get that all the time. I have no idea who that is."
The girl smiles and walk away.
Rachel turns to Santana, "Why'd you do that? She recognized you!"
"Today is about you. Come on let's get you some water."
Rachel likes being taken care of...especially by Santana.
Rachel is tying on her tap shoes when a girl sits next to her.
"I saw you sing yesterday. You were great."
Rachel sits back up and says, "Oh thank you!"
"If you're not busy after this, do you want to maybe get some coffee?"
Santana walks up, "Mine."
The girl looks at Santana and asks, "What?"
Santana says, "That's my seat."
Rachel laughs to herself.
The girl gets up and Santana sits down and holds Rachel by the waist. The girl gets the idea and walks off.
"I got you some water."
Rachel takes the water and kisses Santana's cheek, "Thank you."
Rachel's finished her audition she finds Santana in the hallway waiting for her.
"Thank you for coming to my audition."
"Hey, who else was going to hold your survival kit?"
"It's just my purse."
"I don't know, this is like a Mary Poppin's bag."
They start walking back to the street, but before they even leave the theater Santana holds back.
"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" asks Rachel.
"Uh.. no. what would make you think that?"
"Because you're pacing and bouncing on the balls of your feet."
"Oh. No I just have a question and I really need to ask it or else I'll be thinking about it all night and actually I do have to pee."
"Ok well go ahead and ask it. I don't want you to have an accident."
"Well I know you're very attractive and you get asked out all the time. I mean today was a prime example. But I was wondering if maybe you could maybe just only go out with me?"
"You mean like be your girlfriend?"
"Yes."
Rachel smiles and thinks this might be her favorite day ever.
"I'd love to be your girlfriend."
"Really? Great!"
"Yes. Now let's go find you a bathroom."
"Good idea."
Santana grabs Rachel's hand and rushes towards the bathroom.
After Santana relieves herself...the girls make out in the bathroom. Its like necessary to do so.
A/N: Happy Pezberry Week! I think I got some living together-ish, nerd!Santana and popular!Rachel, and celebrity-ish, and no subtlety.