Chapter 9

"She just up and left?"

"Yeah."

"After sex?"

"Yeah."

"Did she leave any money on the nightstand?" Mack burst out in laughter at her own joke.

"Fuck off." Santana sighs. "You're no help."

Santana called Mack over after going to Rachel's and finding out the girl wasn't there. She's been texting her and calling but Rachel hasn't replied back to her. So after going to Rachel's and finding out she wasn't there she called Mack. Santana usually talks to Quinn about things like this but she doesn't want to make Quinn uncomfortable by putting her in the middle of two friends. But after sitting here and not making any progress with Mack, Quinn might just be a better option.

"Well…excuse me for not knowing how this exclusive dating shit works."

Before she can say anything else the room door opens and Toni walks in. Toni come over with Mack since they was out and about together. Up and until now she was down the hall flirting with some freshman. Santana thinks Toni forgets that she has a boyfriend already.

"Are you going home for break?" Toni asks still standing by the now closed door.

"I hope not. That sounds boring."

"Hush Mack." Toni says.

"I don't know." Santana sighs. "Rachel's going home."

"Rachel's also not talking to you."Mack comments.

"What? Why?" Toni finally moves further into the room. She flops down next to Mack on Quinn's bed.

"We're still trying to figure that out." Mack says.

"She got mad out of nowhere and just…left?"

"Then Santana came home and cried."

"You can go home now." Santana directs towards Mack.

"No can do." Mack stands and puts her shoes on. "You promised me dinner if I came over to listen to you whine about your non-girlfriend problems."

"I didn't say that."

"That's what I heard." Mack opens the door. "Will you be joining us, Toni?"

"Sure."

%&*^&^*&

After dinner, which she refused to pay for, Santana decided to just go home. She really wanted to stop back pass Rachel's but figured if the girl wanted to talk then she would respond to at least one of her many messages.

The next day Santana goes to work and gets off at 4:30. During her lunch break she had texted Rachel and asked if she could come over later but Rachel never texted her back. Getting tired of the silent treatment Santana makes her way over to Rachel's apartment.

"Hey friend!" Tina answers the door when she gets there.

"Sup." Santana walks into the living room and finds Puck playing some video game as usual. Even though she really wants to just go talk to Rachel, Santana spends sometime in the living room talk to Puck and Tina. Trying to see what everyone spring break plans are. No one really has any money so it between staying in their college town or are going back home to visit their families.

"Rachel here?" Santana asks glancing over at the hall. Usually Rachel would come out and greet however was at the door, even if they are not there for her.

"Yeah, she's in her room." Puck says not taking his eyes off of the TV.

Santana makes her way down the hallway. Rachel bedroom door is open. She smiles when she sees the girl on the bed, laying on her stomach typing away on her laptop. Seeing the iPod next to Rachel and the headphones in the girl ears makes her feel better. Rachel wasn't just ignoring her.

Santana trying to decided the best way to approach Rachel when Rachel turns to look at her with big surprised eyes.

"Hey."Santana says quietly from the door.

"Hi." Santana watches Rachel remove her headphones and close the lid on her laptop.

"Is it okay if I come in?" She hasn't moved from the doorway. Rachel rolls her eyes at the question.

"Don't be awkward." Rachel sits up. Santana walks further into the room but doesn't sit down.

"I'm not being awkward. I'm confused." Santana cuts to the point. "I don't know what's going on with us." Santana says look down at the carpet of Rachel's bedroom floor.

"That makes two of us." Silence follows Rachel's comment. "Are you sleeping with someone else?"

"No." Santana head snaps up from floor to meet Rachel's questioning eyes. "What kind of question is that?"

"A direct one."

Santana stomach turns. She doesn't remember ever seeing Rachel so aggressive. She has a feeling that her trip over here to apologize won't end well.

"Look…I came over here to apologize. Not get chewed out." Santana sighs.

"Santana, how can you apologize if you don't even know what you've done?" Silence follows Rachel's question.

"I don't know." Santana finally sits down next to Rachel on the bed. "I don't know why you're so pissed at me. So I'm going to apologize for being clueless." Santana looks over at Rachel. "Whatever I did obviously really got under your skin and I hate fighting with you. Not knowing what I did is making this ten times worse."

Rachel reaches over and takes Santana's hand.

"You are one of the hardest people to read." Rachel starts. "It's like you keep everything locked away. And that really sucks. I never know where I stand with you."

"What do you mean?" Santana doesn't even know why she asked that question. She knows how she operates and Rachel is telling the truth. She's a very closed off individual. Always have been.

"I thought when we agreed to date exclusively that we were working toward something. Towards a relationship." Rachel voice sounds different when she speaks now. Like it's just raw emotion. "But then we will be out somewhere with our friends or by ourselves and I'd try to take your hand and you'd pull away. And I would think to myself," Rachel pauses to look right in Santana's eyes. "It's okay. She's probably not ready to be out. I mean we never talked about it. Then I'd try talking to you and it was like you were giving me the run around."

"I'm trying to figure things out."

"Santana…when was the last time you've looked at a dude in a sexual way…with any interest?" Santana just stares at her. "Right. So we already know you're gay or at least bi. If you want to stick a label on it. Check that off the list." Rachel lets go of Santana's hand. "Seems to me the only thing you're trying to figure out is if you want to be with me."

"Rachel it's not even about that."

"That's bullshit."

"It's not." Santana even thinks her defense sounds weak. "I told you…I'm working on things."

"You're working on things." Rachel lets out a frustrated noise and stands from the bed. "Why is everything always about you? It's two of us in this. Do you even think about my feeling…about my things."

"Of course."

"So you were thinking about me when you let some girl touch all over you?" Santana looks confused so Rachel continues. "That last house party we went to. The one where you couldn't keep your hands to yourself."

"We were just dancing. Gosh." Santana closes her eyes. She really doesn't want to be having this conversation.

"I'm not the jealous type. I like knowing that the person I'm with is with me." When she opens her eyes Rachel is standing right in front of her. "I shouldn't have to be told that. I should feel that."

"Okay?"

"See that…okay? What is that pose to mean?" Rachel points at her. "I can't do this with you."

"What?"

"Maybe…" Rachel bits her lower lip. "Maybe we need some space. I need some space."

"From me?" Santana stands.

"We've been dating for months now and nothings change. We mind as well be friends with benefits, because you flirt with other people and I don't know what else…"

"Seriously Rachel…"

"I told you I couldn't share you." They stare at each other for a minute.

They are not even together and she feels like she's being dumped.

In a way she is.

Santana might not admit it out loud but Rachel's her girlfriend.

"Rachel…" Santana reaches out when Rachel turns to leave the room.

"This really sucks." Rachel says when Santana gets a hold to her and pulls her into a hug.

"I don't want space." Santana says into Rachel's hair.

"San…" Rachel tries to get out of Santana's arms.

"Baby…don't." Santana knows she's playing dirty by bringing the pet names out. Rachel melts when Santana calls her baby. She started calling her that a few weeks ago. "Just…fuck Rachel. Look at this shit…" Santana digs her phone out of her pocket. She touches the screen and a picture of her and Rachel pop up. "I'm…you're my girl. There. I said it."

Rachel's quietly staring at the picture on Santana's phone.

"I didn't want to bring this conversation up because I didn't want you to say that." Rachel looks up to Santana as she talks. "I didn't want you to feel pressured."

"Maybe I need a little pressure."

"Can we not agree to anything until I get back from my trip to visit my dad's?" Santana sighs.

"Now you want to wait? You the one who got all pissy about me not calling you my girlfriend, but soon as I say it you wanna slow shit down." Santana steps back from her. "Fucking great."

"It's not the label. It's the feelings. I want you to be sure about this Santana."

"Yeah…whatever." She takes her phone back. "Call you later." Santana kisses Rachel cheek as she steps around her towards the door.

"You're not coming to dinner?"

"No…I um…I think me and Q are going to do take out."

"Quinn didn't say…" Rachel thinks about it for a second. "Oh." Santana watches as the emotions play across Rachel's face as the girl realize the reason they are not coming to dinner. She knows Santana needs to talk to Quinn about what just happened between them.

"I'll call you later."

!#^U&I^&&

Santana calls Quinn on her way home and tell her that she's picking up some Chinese food. When she gets to their dorm room Quinn is standing by the desk. There are a couple of drug store bags on the desk.

"What are you doing? Did you get some Soda and water while you were out? Oh and my Vanilla Wafers?"

"Wafers? You didn't say anything about Vanilla Wafers."

"I know but a good friend would have been thoughtful and brought me some anyway."

"Oh a good friend like you?" Quinn teases.

"The best friend." Santana flops down on her bed.

"Well best friend I need you to come to the bathroom with me while I pee."

"Excuse me?" Santana sits up.

"I need emotional support."

"For?"

"I'm late." Quinn takes a pregnancy test out of one of the bags that are sitting on the desk.

"I didn't know you were getting laid." Santana says standing to follow Quinn to the bathroom."I see we both have a lot to discuss."

TBC

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