Boring chapter here, but you'll learn loads!

Review replies:
maltararox21 (Katie) – Thank you! Well you should read Battle Royale. I believe I've told you about it? And Kingdom of Loathing is an online game that I used to play. Natara won't appear so much in this story until the end though.
mozzi-girl (Molly) – Thank you! I'm kinda worried Kara will go out of character though; I've never played an episode with her inside. Do offer me your guidance! ;)
MaltaraFluff647 (Karen) – Aww thanks for the reassurance! I suppose things will get more interesting soon enough…

Disclaimer: I do not own Cause of Death and its affiliated characters.

xxxxx xxxxx

"Two bottles of water, two litres in total… electronic gadget with accompanying manual… instructions on whatever Muscle, Mysticality and Moxie I may have… a booklet on my pixel sword? Interesting. And these are heavyweights, a plastic plus sign, sunglasses and a notebook with a pen. Just what is Mr Bighead thinking?"

Mal spent what was left of his first hour in the 'game' studying the manual, instructions and booklet.

"This electronic gadget marks out the map of the Great 8-Bit Land in grids. You can also detect the presence of other people, but this works only in the grid you are moving around in. With an appropriate circumference of six kilometers, this is going to be a challenge. This gadget also functions as a compass and a watch. Press the only button available to alternate among the three modes. Remember, this never runs out of battery!"

"Muscle measures both your physical strength and Hit Points (of course you'll have Hit Points like the playable character in a video games!). It also calculates your chances of hitting a monster successfully with a melee weapon. Mysticality reflects your ability to do things mentally instead of physically. It determines your Mana Points which can be used to cast spells, and the damage caused by these spells. As for Moxie, it measures your groove and panache, liveliness and energy, fortitude and determination, courage and initiative… it calculates your chances of dodging a hit, and the damage taken when you do get hit. It also calculates your hit chance with a ranged weapon. These three elements can be developed with the help of the people you find."

"Your pixel sword from the 8-Bit Finery outfit has many functions, which you will discover in the course of your adventure. Although it is enchanted so it can only be held by you, it will turn against you in unimaginable ways if you break a law. Also, if you lose all your Hit Points, you will be Beaten Up for two hours while your sword's powers will be disabled, rendering you defenseless. Fun, isn't it?"

Mal finished reading and decided he should start looking for Blaise Corso if he wanted to get to his Princess at the earliest time possible. He had no idea where to begin though.

Now then, what's my next move?

Then a brainwave struck him.

"Aha! I'll check where I am in this damned land, then I'll act accordingly."

Mal activated his electronic gadget. It beeped once and some text appeared on the liquid crystal screen.

"Hello, Adventurer Malachi Fallon! What I'm showing you know is the clue to finding the first person. You may want to copy this down; it'll be shown only once.

"Where is a tapir happiest in?

"Study your map carefully and you just might get the answer. This one's really easy. Now you can press the button to view said map. Adios!"

Mal vaguely remembered someone telling him, "I feel as happy as a tapir in a wooded glade!" A wooded glade? Really?

Still, it just might be the answer to the clue. It was worth a try.

Now Mal studied the map. True to the Even Greater Man's words, it was divided into grids, 6 times 6. He seemed to be near the northern tip of the island surrounded by sea, with Mr Bighead's castle two hundred metres away from him. There was a giant structure in the heart of the island – perhaps another castle? At the southern tip was a cluster of what looked like houses; that was the residential area. To the west were hills closely packed together. Solitary cottages were atop them. Then there were trees and more trees by the east.

The wooded glade was definitely in the forest at the eastern side.

Mal retrieved his day pack and its contents from the ground, stowed everything away and trudged straight ahead, taking time to admire his surroundings. Aside from the fact that everything was made of pixel (this was very distracting indeed), the Great 8-Bit Land was actually not bad, to say the least. Still, finding the Princess would not be easy.

It was thirty minutes of walking before something horrifying happened.

The skies darkened. Grey clouds began gathering overhead. Heavy gusts of wind threatened to blow Mal off his feet. (Contrary to what one might believe, Mal was no longer as sturdy as he used to be. Perhaps it was because he was now made up of pixel.) He tried to continue moving forward, but the winds just blew harder. Then he found himself lifted off the ground! His voice caught in his throat. Having realized that he was unable to walk any further, the "Help!" that was forming inside died along with his resolve to persevere.

Well, let's do something fun instead.

He closed his eyes and flew.

xxxxx xxxxx

I promise the next chapter will be long and hopefully satisfying! You have my word.