Review reply to mozzi-girl (Molly):

The plot is almost entirely my own! However, certain elements are from other sources. This list is inclusive of, but not limited to:

Kingdom of Loathing: Muscle, Mysticality & Moxie, 8-Bit Finery set, plastic plus sign, Beaten Up
Battle Royale: time limit in game, forbidden zone, day pack, electronic gadget

I may or may not have said too much. Eh. Anyhow, thank you! And I'll try to; this story is a good platform to work on my descriptions.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cause of Death and its affiliated characters.

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Mal woke up to the sensation of weeds underneath him.

"Where am I?"

He sat himself up with much difficulty and everything came rushing back to him. He had solved the clue. As he was making some progress, the heavy gusts of wind blew him away… to where?

Head throbbing and muscles aching to some degree, he took out his electronic gadget and checked his location on the map. It was surprising the gadget had not broken. Either he would have been completely off-track from his original destination, or he would have struck lottery.

The display on the electronic gadget showed he was on the eastern side of the island, with the star image pinpointing his exact location on the screen.

Mal looked about him. Trees. Grass. Flowers… flowers? He was definitely where he wanted to be. He grinned, looked down at his map again, and found that the star image was now blurred. Instinctively, he waved his pixel sword (which was somehow by his side) behind him and heard a human yelp. The sword flew out of his hands to a few yards away from him.

Ah hell!

"Malachi Fallon! Did you just try to kill your best friend?"

Mal vaguely remembered this bloody movie with 'Could you kill your best friend?' as the tagline. But that was beside the point now.

He turned around and found just who he was looking for. Blaise Corso was now sitting up on the forest floor behind him, palms pressing down on the ground. He tried to ignore her poisonous scowl.

"Blaise! Great I found you!" Mal rambled on about his mission, the contents of his day pack and how badly he wanted to save Natara from 'the evil clutches' in a futile attempt to distract Blaise.

"Mal! Listen to me! You were out for four precious hours!" Blaise yelled. Mal shut up and let her speak.

"I'm guessing it's the heavy winds that brought you here. The weather acted up because the Even Greater Man wanted to, uh, spice up your otherwise boring life here. Really, what can you do other than wander around looking for people? Yes, the answer to the clue is a wooded glade, where we are now. Isn't the Even Greater Man creative?"

"Creative indeed," Mal mumbled.

"I found you soon after you ended up here. I'm serious when I say you were out for four precious hours! You got Beaten Up by the winds. They depleted your supply of Hit Points. Somehow it took double the time for you to wake up; it was supposed to be two hours, as I think the Even Greater Man told you before. I've prepared some pixel potions for you, but you can only get them after… learning from me.

"Can we get started now? You look well enough." Blaise raised an eyebrow as she handed Mal a vial of red liquid. "You can have this first. Restores some of your hit points."

"My head is throbbing and my muscles and aching," Mal complained as he gulped down the red pixel potion. It reminded him of maple syrup back home.

"Excuses! Mal Fallon, I've always known you to be physically strong. Well, I've fix you up first, then you can do fifty sit-ups, fifty push-ups and twenty minutes on the treadmill."

"You have a treadmill?" Mal's eyes widened. He looked around again and noticed a funny-looking contraption. "Are you sure that is even a treadmill?"

"Don't ask. I'm just as confused as you are." Blaise tossed him a pack of pills and a container of balm. "Have two pills for your headache. Apply the balm as required. Then get to work."

Instant relief came with the pills and balm, but the exercises took almost an hour to finish. When Mal was finally done, he looked at Blaise expectantly. Once again, she had a poisonous scowl on her otherwise pretty face.

"I'm disappointed in you! It's so obvious you didn't have the sense to work out before looking for me. As a beginner in this game, you only have Level One Muscle, Level One Mysticality and Level One Moxie. That's why you're so weak. Fancy getting blown away by the winds! I insist on spending time to get you up to standard."

"Isn't that what you're expected to do?"

"I'll ignore your last comment," remarked Blaise coolly. Now she held up a leather-bound book. 'How to Train Your Muscle' adorned the cover in gold lettering. "What you're supposed to do now is read the first chapter."

Mal took the book and flipped the pages. The first words that greeted him were 'Dr. Evilbrain Strikes Back'.

"What is this? Blaise Corso, are you sure you're teaching me the right things?"

"Focus!"

Behind the silly chapter name was a long-winded essay on the usefulness of Muscle. It was painful to read. Just as Mal finished and was about to complain again, a bright green glow enclosed him. Power surged through his veins. Shock waves coursed through his body. Then it stopped and Mal felt stronger than before.

It was a pleasant feeling while it lasted.

"What just happened? And give me something more interesting to read, please?" He sighed.

"You leveled up. You're at Level Two Muscle now. And finish that book first."

Mal folded his arms. "Challenge accepted."

Much to Mal's mild amusement, the next two chapters were titled 'Dr. Evilbrain Fights You' and 'Dr. Evilbrain Dies From Your Muscularity'. They discussed techniques to fight just about any monster in the Great 8-Bit Land using melee weapons and the fists, along with methods to heal your hit points. Mal felt the awesome power two times more as he leveled up twice just from reading these chapters.

"I never thought you could finish that book. I'm surprised." A smiled tugged at Blaise's lips. "Geek."

"You made me sit through this torture." Mal gritted his teeth. "And I'm not a geek!"

"Whatever. Now is the time for you to prove you've learnt something. Theory isn't enough, you know." Blaise then lunged at Mal, grabbing his collar. She had him in a headlock in less than five seconds. Mal twisted out of her vice grip and the two got into a rough one-on-one fight. Having attacked Mal by surprise, Blaise had the upper hand here.

That was until Mal's fist shot out and Blaise tumbled onto the ground. Mal proceeded to pin her two hands down on the grass.

He gazed at her. "Look who's won?"

Blaise released herself from under Mal and punched in square in the chest. "This isn't over yet, Malachi Fallon." She stood up and straightened herself out as he lay gasping on the ground. "However, on account of your good efforts, I'm going to level you up and give you your rewards."

Mal felt the pleasant fizz signifying his increase in strength as he did three times before. The difference was that this fizz was much stronger.

"You're now at Level Five Muscle. This is the minimum requirement for you to be able to survive here." Blaise passed him five red pixel potions and two booklets. "That makes you strong enough to develop your Instinct and handle a machine gun. Read the booklet titled 'Instinct' to acquire new skills. Attach the other booklet to your existing booklet on the pixel sword. You'll learn how to switch between a pixel sword and a machine gun any time you want.

"Three hours has passed since you woke up, Mal. It's time I sent you on your way. Here's the clue to finding the next person, Amy."

Mal pocketed the folded piece of paper. "Thanks for all your help, Blaise. Hey, can't you follow me or something? You could guide me along the way."

"I have to stay here. It's the Even Greater Man's order. I'm not allowed to step out of this forest." Blaise smiled bitterly again. "Good luck, Mal."

They shook hands, then Blaise watched as Mal turned and ran out of the wooded glade.