Part 2
Thinking of you, I'm thinking of you.
All I can do is just think about you.
Thinking of you, I'm thinking of you.
Whenever I'm blue, I'm thinking of you.
Steve slammed his glass down on the table, shaking his head slightly as the cheesy music filled his ears. A bitter chuckle left his lips, and he squeezed his eyes tight. Most of the time, he would listen to the first line and just shut off the radio in his little apartment with a scoff. Music now days were worse than shit. Why people listened to that garbage was beyond him. Then again –
"You're just old, Capsicle," Tony said, peering over his latest robot's (what he assumed) shoulder. He snickered when Steve scoffed, raising an eyebrow.
He flinched at the memory.
No matter how I try,
I don't find a reason why.
Believe me, it's not a lie.
I always have you on my mind.
That was right. Most of the time, he would turn it off. And most of the time he wouldn't try to get drunk as hell.
But tonight was different.
It wasn't everyday you got rejected by a playboy billionaire who had captured your heart with one little kiss.
No matter what I see.
Guess where I wanna be?
Love is the answer I will find.
Steve snorted as he poured himself another drink. A kiss.A simple, accidental kiss that had led to a secretive relationship, which, in turn, had led to sex.
And then – nothing. Nothing at all.
Thinking of you, I'm thinking of you.
All I can do is just think about you.
Thinking of you, I'm thinking of you.
Whenever I'm blue, I'm thinking of you.
Thinking of you.
As if the past six months hadn't happened, Tony had left him.
That was about two months ago.
It all made sense to his slightly buzzed mind.
No matter where I go,
This is the only show.
I'd like to be your girl,
Come on and take my heart.
Stark just wanted to fuck his brains out, and then leave him in a pit of lust and desperation. And damn did he do it right. Steve felt so lost without the billionaire whom he had become (rather unhealthily) reliant on, and having just faced the man didn't help him at all.
No matter where you are,
Baby, I can't be far.
'Cause I'll be with you all the time.
Tonight, facing the man – dare he say it? – lovedwith all his heart, had confirmed his suspicions. Stark was bored, and needed something fun to do. Steve had been the next closest thing to it, and the man had striked, taken Steve down, and had enjoyed it.
Thinking of you,
Think about you all the time.
At least, that's what Steve tried to tell himself.
But he knew the truth.
Tony was probably lying to him. Either that, or Steve had his head so far up his ass that he was imagining things.
Steve shrugged slightly.
"That could be it."
Great. Now he was talking to himself.
This feeling deep inside,
When you're right by my side.
I'll always be with you.
Believe me, this is true.
With a sigh, he poured himself another drink.
And another.
And another.
And another.
Jesus,he was starting to act like a former alcoholic who had just found the jackpot of alcohol. He downed another drink, enjoying the burning sensation in the back of his throat. It warmed his center, and seemed to bring out memories he had thought he had buried months ago.
"STEVE!" The shout was so loud it made his world spin, and he groaned, smashing the pillow on his head.
"Go away, Stark," he grumbled. Just talking hurt. Listening to the billionaire parade angrily around the room hurt more.
He let out a groan when the man pulled his only warmth – a blanket covering his shirtless body – and snatched his pillow away.
Steve curled into a ball, and his hands covered his face from the blinding light. He was reminded of why he tried to never get drunk. Usually he only drank a couple of drinks – but playing a drinking game with Thor had seemed fun, and, well, the results were a hung over Steve, who had lost.
He heard Tony chuckle, which in turn turned into a full blown laugh.
"You're hung over!"
Steve slumped in his seat.
Maybe, just maybe he would wake up in the morning with a chuckling Tony and a bad headache.
He nearly fell out of his chair when his cellular phone vibrated in his pocket. With stumbling fingers his gripped the rectangle, nearly dropping it in his drink as he tried to read what it said.
Whenever we're apart,
You're deep within my heart.
'Cause you'll be with me all the time.
It was a text – that's what Agent Hill had called it anyways. That's what he thought it was anyways. Maybe he was just going insane, because when he squeezed his eyes nearly closed, there was nothing on the screen. He was kind of hoping it would be Tony.
He let out a small, distraught noise.
Thinking of you, I'm thinking of you.
All I can do is just think about you.
Thinking of you, I'm thinking of you.
Whenever I'm blue, I'm thinking of you.
"Damn it Steve, you're going crazy."
The first Avenger grabbed the nearly empty bottle of whiskey. His shaky hands knocked it over, and he cursed, quickly picking it up. His blurry vision didn't really help him. At least the alcohol was doing its job.
"Screw this."
He downed the bottle in three large gulps.
Stark snorted, choking back fake laughter. "Whatemotions? Of course they were fake, Rogers." His lips twitched when the other Avenger flinched.
"Shut up," Steve whimpered, clenching his teeth and his eyes at the same time.
"I think it's time you leave." Tony's voice was tight, leaving no room for arguments. He turned on his heels, beginning to walk away. He stopped for a moment. "You know the way out."
"SHUT UP!"
He jumped up, throwing the empty glass at his kitchen sink.
No matter where I go,
This is the only show.
I'd like to be your boy,
Come on and take my heart.
Steve's shoulders moved up and down with his heavy breathing. His face was red, his hair was disheveled, and his eyes were both wide and wild.
No matter where you are,
Baby, I can't be far.
'Cause I'll be with you all the time.
"Just shut up."
His eyes drifted to the mess he had made, and then to the counter before him. He furrowed his eyebrows as he took in the objects that littered it.
Pills.
Three bottles of emptyalcohol.
And a plate of half eaten lasagna that had been overcooked.
His eyes drifted back to the pills.
In his alcoholic induced mind, they didn't seem like a bad idea.
Maybe if he took the entire bottle, he'd forget everything.
Thinking of you, I'm thinking of you.
All I can do is just think about you.
Thinking of you, I'm thinking of you.
Whenever I'm blue, I'm thinking of you.
A shaky hand grabbed the bottle, and he unscrewed it, staring at its contents.
His eyes drifted to the cell phone he had placed on the counter. He grabbed it, pressing the third button and pressing the call button.
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
It was just his luck.
Tony wasn't going to answer.
- Tony Stark is not available to come to the phone right now. Please leave a message at the tone.
Steve took in a sharp breath.
Why had he even called him? He hadn't planned anything that he was going to say.
"Hey Tony, I just – sorry to bother you – I just – I hope you have a great life with Pepper. I promise I won't bother you anymore."
He choked out a small sob, quickly ending the call.
He looked back at the bottle of pills in his hand.
He poured himself a handful, admiring the sight of the tiny white pills in his hand.
Steve could probably take three at a time. So, going on that hunch, he brought three of them to his dry lips.
"Ready or not, here I go."