"I was going to marry him."

"Who?"

"Kurt."

Amanda's eyes filled with pity and Blaine felt his stomach twist into knots.

"I was going to propose to him the week after he died. He would go to Cetto, a fancy Italian restaurant, with his parents. I have some friends there so they helped me out. I was going to dress up as a waiter and serve the 'desert', which would actually be the ring in a black velvet box on a plate. Then I would've proposed."

"Oh Blaine."

Blaine looked at the ground, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Blaine? Are you okay?"

'I thought I was going to spend forever with him. I thought that we were going to get married and go to New York and live in a crappy apartment in New York with cream stripes on the walls and we would fight over what couch to put in the sitting room. I thought that we would raise a family, adopt a little girl and maybe name her Jessica. I thought that we would grow old together and have tons of grandchildren and die, together, the way we were meant to."

"Did your parents give their blessings?"

"My mother sort of did but my father, not so much."

"You never bring him up."

"There's a reason."

"He loves you Blaine."

"Bullshit."

"I've never seen him around."

"That's because he doesn't care at all. He thinks my sexuality is a "disease" and that I'm not his little boy anymore. I'm some depressed fuck-up that still can't get over the death of his boyfriend."

"Blaine, are you crying?"

The instant Blaine announced he was gay; Phillip Anderson cut his son off from his life. He nodded to Blaine in the morning, grunted when shown Blaine's perfect report card and pretended to read the newspaper whenever Blaine tried to approach him.

Phillip didn't show up to any of Blaine's performances. He didn't speak when Blaine brought Kurt to his house for the first time. He inhaled sharply when he saw Blaine give Kurt a goodbye kiss on the porch. He ignored Blaine's constant side glances towards him in the hospital when he had to have eye surgery when he got injured to protect Kurt.

But when Blaine said he was going to propose to Kurt, Phillip Anderson finally released all the feelings he had kept bottled up for years.

"No, I will not allow you to marry that boy."

"Why? You barely even know him."

"Blaine, marrying him is going to ruin your life. You're still so young."

"I love him."

"No you don't."

"Father, this is the first time we've had a proper conversation in months and you're telling me to give up on the person I love."

"You. Don't. Love. Him."

"You don't know how I feel about him."

"I bloody well do. I see the way you light up when you open the door and he's standing there. Don't think I can't hear the two of you in your room. It disgusts me. You're throwing your life away for this boy."

"Do you know something Dad? I don't think its Kurt himself that bothers you. I think it's the whole idea of me being gay and it's been bothering you for the past few years, ever since I came out. I'm not going to come home with some skinny blond in the cheerleading squad and fucking deal with the fact that I am very much in love with Kurt."

The look he got from his father chilled Blaine to the bone.

Oh my god, I've become a stranger to my Father.

It's not like Blaine wasn't a stranger to attempting to turn heterosexual. But the after math of Spin the Bottle at Rachel's party pretty much made him give up whatever chance he had of turning straight.

"When we kissed, it felt good."

"It felt good because you were drunk."

"What's the harm on going out on one little crummy date."

It would most certainly please my Father.

"You're gay Blaine."

Sometimes I wish I wasn't.

"I thought it was but I never even had a boyfriend before."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this."

"Maybe I'm bi, I don't know."

"Bisexual is the term gay guys use when they hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change."

It's also the term my Father wish I was and what I'm trying to turn in to but it's pretty hard due to the fact that I'm quite sure I'm in love with you.

"Why are you so angry?"

"Because I look up to you; I admire how proud you are of who you are."

I'm not proud.

"I know what it's like to be in the closet and here you are about to tiptoe back in."

"Look, I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings or your pride or whatever, but however confusing it might be for you, it's actually a lot more confusing for me. You're 100% sure of who you are. Fantastic! Well, maybe we all can't be so lucky."

"I've had a lot of luck Blaine, I was really lucky to be chased out of school by a bully who was trying to kill me."

Fuck.

"And why did you do that?"

"Because he didn't like who I was."

"Sort of exactly what you're saying to me right now, isn't it? Look, I am searching okay?"

But I think I already found who I'm searching for and it's you but I can't be with you because my Father wants to erase whatever evidence I have of being gay.

It's you. It was always you and I found you.

But you can't find me yet.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry."

"I'm used to it."

"I want to meet him."

"What?"

"Your Father. Phillip Anderson right?"

"You don't want to meet him."

"Yes I do."

"He'll probably ignore anything we both say and he'll cuss whenever one of us asks him to speak and he'll storm out the door the instant you dismiss him."

"I still want to meet him."

"You're making a mistake."

"We'll see about that."

"Need a hand?"

"Can you lend me that carboy?"

"You knew which one it was."

"My Dad and I rebuilt a 59 Chevy in our driveway two summers ago. One of his many attempts at bonding."

Because my Mom forced him to.

"You here looking for parts?"

Ha. Good one.

"No, actually I'm here to talk to you about Kurt."

"Is he okay?"

"Have you ever talked to him about sex?"

"Are you gay, or straight, or what?"

"Definitely gay."

"Oh, okay, well whatever but good for Kurt. He needs someone like you to talk to."

Can you adopt me.

"Well that's kind of my point, I tried talking to him but whenever I try to talk to him he puts his fingers in his ears and starts singing."

"When he's ready, he'll listen."

"My Dad didn't build a car with me because he loves cars. He built one with me because he thought that maybe getting my hands dirty would make me straight. I don't have the relationship with my Dad like you do with Kurt and I thought it'd be really cool if you took advantage of that. I'm sorry if I'm overstepping."

"You are."

As Blaine walked away, he hoped he hadn't said too much. But when he saw Burt Hummel's thoughtful expression, he was glad he said what he said. Then at least Kurt wouldn't have to go through what he went through.