Love is a cruel master
Someone once said love is giving someone the ability to destroy you but trusting them not to.
They were meant to be together but they couldn't be. It was one of life's cruel acts of fate. He was simply destined for greatness and she would ruin that.
She saw they couldn't be together. But that didn't stop him from trying. With every secret meaning, stolen glance, and loaded exchange they became so deeply engrained into each other that the thought of life without the other became incomprehensible. She loved and hated him for it. Loved him for giving her hope and hated him for making her need him when she would never have him.
Why couldn't he see that she was trying to protect him? Protect everything he had made? Everything they had made? Couldn't he see it wasn't right? But no, he refused to give up hope that one day, despite the overwhelming odds; they could somehow make it work. Sometimes she wanted to believe him. To have hope in a happy ending. To be naïve enough to believe that they could have their fairytale happy ending. But no, she refuses to be like him. She refuses to be heartbroken. Again.
Some days she wants to yell at him in frustration. To scream that the more he tries the harder it will be to walk away. She wants nothing more than for him to get it. To just finally understand. But she always restrains because as heartbreaking as it is, it's also beautiful.
One day he finally gets it.
He's in front of her in an instant. Her smile fades as she takes in his demeanor. Sadness practically radiates from his being. She tries to speak but that crestfallen look in his eyes…
At first he tries to speak but no words come out. He looks around and is aware of the other people even though they aren't paying any attention to them. She understands and leads him to an empty conference room, locking the door behind her.
"There's so many things I wanted to say." His voice quivers. "I wish…" His voice cracks and his eyes brim with tears leaving the sentence unfinished but she understands him nonetheless.
He wishes things were different. He wishes he wasn't the president and she wasn't the forbidden fruit. He wishes he wasn't married to Mellie and married her instead. But most of all he wishes that he was able to believe that one day he could openly love the women who stole his heart.
The realization of him finally getting it makes her heart ache. She meets his greenish-gray eyes with her own chocolate brown ones and a mutual feeling of angst passes through them.
"I know." She finally answers around the lump in her throat and her voice is full of pain. "Me too."
She needs to leave, she refuses to cry in front of him. Her eyes dart around the room looking for any excuse to escape when secretly she knows she couldn't leave him in such a fragile emotional state.
"One minute."
No sooner had the words left her mouth did his arms wrap around her. She grabs fistfuls of his shirt as his hand moved to gently cradle her head to his chest. Her tears are staining his shirt but neither of them cares. They just cling to each other for dear life, not ready to let go of something they truly never had.
"I'm so sorry Livvy." He whispers into her ear. "So sorry."
"I forgive you." She whispers back even though she doesn't know what he's sorry about. Because even though he stole her heart and put it through hell, she doesn't feel sorry it happened.
They just hold each other oblivious to the amount of time passing by. The time for regret, and doubt, and grief will be later. Later in their beds, staring at the ceiling at some early hour because it's impossible to sleep without the other they may wonder if they made the right choice. But the conclusion of these late night musing will always be the same: Yes they made the right decision. But at the moment it didn't cushion the blow, it didn't make it easier. The tears of heartbreak they tried so hard to avoid will still flow freely from their eyes.
They embrace each other as everything else fades into the background until it's just the two of them inside the protective bubble they've built around themselves.
Two lovers who never had a chance.