Jonathan stood in the barn and looked around. He finished all the chores and his father and his brother were still gone. Wondering what happened and why his father was gone for so long this time.
He and their dad talked before he left to look after Jordan in town. And for the first time in months, Jonathan actually felt better. Suddenly he had the feeling that everything could be better from now. The relationship between him and his family was so cold ever since he took X-Kryptonite too keep up with everyone else…
Jonathan was polishing the tractor when he suddenly heard a car approaching. He left the barn to see that his mother and his grandfather arrived back. Both leaving Sam's car and approaching the house…
"MOM!" Jonathan said to catch their attention.
"Jonathan, where are your father and your brother?" Lois asked. No hello, no formal greeting, not even looking on him.
"In town!"
"And you?"
"I was here! Dad's chore-list!" Jonathan respond. "Mom, Grandpa good that you are back. I need to tell you something."
"Later! We are very busy…" Lois said. In her minds she was with Lucy, who was not with the rest of the inverse society today and who still didn't pick up the phone.
"It's important!" Jonathan said.
"What?" Sam asked. His voice sound a bit annoyed. "Jonathan, we are on rush. We need to talk to your father and your brother."
"Dad left hours ago to look for Jordan." Jonathan respond. "What? What is going on?"
"Nothing!" Lois said. She wanted to keep her sons out of the drama around her sister and the cult she was trapped in. And she knew that Jonathan won't be helpful. "Just… some trouble with your aunt Lucy!"
"Is this some kind of Superhero business that doesn't concern me?" Jonathan said a bit annoyed.
"No… ehm… yes… I mean… Just tell me where your father is!" Lois said.
"I don't know! I am waiting for him, too. We wanted to talk! We had a very good conversation in the barn earlier. And… I want to make a confession. You are here, too now. So, I want to let you know, too…"
"What?" Sam asked.
"I would like to wait until Dad and Jordan are back, if that is okay?" Jonathan said.
Then he start to tell as detailed as possible what he and Clark talked about before latter left to get Jordan back. Guessing that he wanted Jordan to join their talk. And then he explained them what he was thinking about his father's promise and about the topics he would like to talk about then. And that he feels much better, knowing that Clark is finally willing to talk to him. Which was one more reason for him to open up to them all now.
Jonathan will confess it today! He will confess that he only took the X-Kryptonite because he felt left out and unimportant in this family. That he fears that Clark does not love him because of his powerlessness. And because his life was dominated by Kryptonian powers everywhere. At home, in school, among their friends...
Jonathan didn't say that loudly. He would wait until Clark and Jordan are back. But Lois kind of had a feeling about that. She never dared to think about that more. That evening he tried to explain himself to her after he got caught was so exhausting, that she pushed that thought aside. But she was glad to see that Jonathan made some progress and was willing to open up to them. It let her forget the worry about her sister for a second.
And Jonathan was glad, too. Hoping that things will be easier from now on.
Lois just pointed on the house and was about to suggest that they wait inside, when they suddenly heard that familiar sound of the sonic-boom, that is always announcing the arrival of Clark.
Jonathan, Lois and Sam turned around see Clark landing on the property with a loud thud. Followed by Jordan just a second later, who was laying on the ground next to Clark now. Clark said something about that his landings getting better before they turned to their stunned family members.
"Where have you been so long?" Jonathan asked.
"I took your brother for a little training session to the fortress!" Clark said happily.
"Yeah, dad took me flying!" Jordan said even happier.
Jonathan could feel a painful stitch in his heart. Suddenly it was if the whole world stopped spinning. Everything good that he thought happened earlier that day turned out to be a lie…
"Flying?" Sam asked.
"YEAH… I made it!" Jordan said, still full of joy. "I can fly!"
"Really?" Lois and Sam said at once and turned away from Jonathan to focus completely on Jordan.
In shock, Jonathan saw Lois and Sam approaching Jordan to congratulate him happily. Showering him with praises and telling him how proud they are on him. Jonathan realized once again that nothing changed. Even his mother and his grandfather, whom he both told just a minute ago everything he and Clark talked about. They forgot everything, too and focused now completely on Jordan.
"Hey, Jon… Isn't that awesome? That's the best Power of all!" Jordan said looking on his brother.
Jonathan made a face as if he just got slapped. His face turned deeply red and it was trembling. Of course flying was the best power of all. When he was little, he and his friends spend hours with raving about Superman's ability to fly. And now his brother was able to. While he got left behind to do his chores. And obviously they all don't care. Because Jordan had the one power, Jonathan secretly hoped he never develops.
"Where should I know? I never flew!"
Lois was the first to realize that Jonathan just got offended terribly and could see his body start to tremble. And if it wasn't bad enough that Clark was so ignorant, he even worsened everything. And she was not better, as she and Sam immediately ran to Jordan, too to congratulate him as soon as he was back. Sam suddenly realized that, too and took a step away from Jordan.
"Clark, you apologize now to Jonathan!" Lois said, trying to not to show her anger openly.
"Apologize? What for?" Clark asked.
That's it, Jonathan thought! He shacked his head. He wanted to scream. He wanted to die here and now in shame. Knowing now how much he is worth to his father…
"I need to get away from here!" Jonathan said full of disgust and turned around to go into the house. Not knowing what was worse: His father forgetting him, ditching him, or telling Jordan that he is proud on him?
"Hey, are you not happy for me that I can fly?" Jordan asked, just before he felt a weak slap on his back of head. He turned around and was looking into his mothers angry and disappointed face. "MOM? What was that for?"
"Jordan, you don't say any word! And you Clark…" Lois said now openly angry. But Clark cut her off.
"What, Lois… I was just flying with Jordan?" he cut her off.
"While I was here?" now Jonathan starts to talk. Everyone looking on him. "While I do all the chores alone? And you go and have fun in the meantime? Well… At least I know now what is my place in this family! The errand-boy who cleans up after you while you spend time together. So that's your solution for me!"
Suddenly Clark's bright smile vanished. As he suddenly remembered that he promised Jonathan to help him today. That Jonathan was really in need and that he was struggling. With his life, with his position in the family and his future. And Clark left him alone! Doing chores to leave and fly around the Arctic to cheer up Jordan. Just minutes after Jonathan told him how bad he feels. He told him he is back, soon! But was gone with Jordan for hours to teach him to fly! While Jonathan is alone on the farm!
"I am alone here! Brooding about everything. About what my life holds for me! Or what to do now. You promised me to talk about everything!" Jonathan cried.
"OH… ehm… Sorry, Jonathan! I am here now! Let's talk!"
Clark was visibly ashamed. Because he realized that he just proved to Jonathan that he is only interested in Jordan and his powers. That's what everyone would think who knows about what they talked about before. And seeing Jonathan's mad expression made it evident, that the boy was humiliated. Jordan just expected his brother to be happy for him or proud on him, too. Instead everyone could see that Jonathan was offended. Offended and humiliated. Especially after Clark offered him to talk now.
Angrily Jonathan pushed away his father's hands. His face full of fury.
"NO! I HEARD ENOUGH LIES FROM YOU! And I don't want any pity! I am sick and tired of you always pretending to be a father, while I know you rather want to spend time with your Kryptonian son!"
"Jonathan, please calm down! I am sorry, okay! It was not okay from me to leave you alone. Now we all calm down! Let's go I inside and we talk…" Clark tried to calm down the situation but Jonathan was still too furious about his father's hypocrite behavior.
"You always lied to me! You lied to me for years about who you are! When we moved here, you lied to me that you want to spend more time with me! Instead you only spend time with Jordan because he has your powers and you have something in common! You… lied to me when you promised me to talk about everything when I had trouble to adjust here. Every time I ask you for something, you change the topic to Jordan…"
Hearing his name, let Jordan flinch. Just a minute ago, he was so happy to be able to fly. And now he had to learn that his father ditched his brother for their flying-lesson. And that he would be terribly offended, too.
"Jonathan, please!" Clark now literally begged. Seeing Jonathan cry was hard for him. "I am really sorry! I know things had been a bit crazy lately but we will find a solution…"
"LIAR! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Jonathan…" now Lois interfered. "…please calm down. Your father and your brother were very stupid, yes! And they shouldn't have fly away. But please calm down!"
Jordan looked on his mother and was surprised that she wasn't happy for him anymore.
"All the time I felt left out, you promised to me that things will get better." Jonathan yelled on his mother now. "When they flew away to the fortress you appeased me with your car radio. When I was dumped you appeased me. You always tell me that everything is to help Jordan. And I? When he broke my arm you didn't care. And now you only praise him for being able to fly, too!"
Lois lowered her head in shame.
"Jonathan, I admit I was stupid. Of course flying with your father is better than every Radio." Lois said ashamed. "I just wanted you to feel better!"
Jonathan turned to face Sam now…
"And you… when we moved here, you told me to don't bother my father to let him fully focus on being Superman. All while he pretended and I believed that he wants to spend time with me. Then, when you made them sick with your synthetic Kryptonite, you told me to be afraid of them!"
"You did what?" Clark asked his father-in-law shocked. Not believing how Sam could do that: Trying to create a rift between him and his sons? Before Sam, who was totally pale now, could respond Jonathan continued with his rant…
"Then, when you retired, you said you want to spend more time with us! Instead you only show up to train Jordan. Because… because he is suddenly something special! A few months ago you said he is a thread and suddenly he is your favorite. While I am a useless human who does not get anything right and is just a distraction."
Tears shoot in Jonathan's eyes when he yelled these words. And Sam was totally pale, too. Thinking about it, it was very unfair to not spend time with Jonathan, too. And considering his words, Jonathan really must had been felt very offended when he sent him away to focus on training Jordan. Jonathan is powerless and would have been only a distraction.
"Admit it: I am useless!" Jonathan yelled again. "You think I am just there to get saved all the time. Superboy here is so great and so special. When I am in trouble, I am supposed to hide behind him and not fight by myself for my own safety or my rights. Because I am supposed to be a damsel in distress!"
More tears ran down Jonathan's face. And his family realized that Jonathan was taking everything worse than they always imagined.
"Jonathan, it was never my purpose to let you feel left out." Sam said. "When your brother asked me to train him…"
"YOU KEPT IT A SECRET FROM ME! AND THEN YOU TREATED ME LIKE A DISTRACTION!" Jonathan yelled.
"JONATHAN…" now Clark yelled in despair. "…please, look at me! Tell me the truth! What are you feeling!"
Clark feared the answer. Before they told the boys the truth, he always expected Jordan to be devastated that he is powerless. Or that he is ashamed. He was relieved when Jonathan said he was fine. But that depends on what happened. Now after everything Jonathan went through, he had to admit that the boy reached his breaking point. He was so focused on training Jordan that he didn't waste a single mind on how Jonathan must feel as the powerless one.
"You want to hear the truth? Okay! I HATE IT! I HATE THIS FUCKING TOWN! I HATE ALL THE GRAPPY PEOPLE HERE! I HATE THAT JORDAN HAS POWERS! I HATE THAT HALF OF TOWN IS ON X-K AND THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO IS SCOLDED FOR IT! AND MOST OF ALL I HATE YOU AND THE FACT THAT YOU WOULD ONLY LOVE ME IF I HAVE POWERS!"
Jonathan's face turned deeply red when he yelled these words. And everyone could see that he was very ashamed. He wasn't mad, he was ashamed!
"I came with you to this awful town. I gave up everything! My friends, my future… I endured every embarrassment and every humiliation! I never asked for anything too big. But when I ask you for just one second of attention you show me that I am not worth to. Because it doesn't matter."
Jonathan burst out in tears again and he ran away. Leaving his shocked and devastated family behind.
Jonathan ran up the stair of the porch and smashed the door close after him violently, to escape from the views of his family. A family he wished was not his.
"CLARK… you apologize to him! Now!" Lois yelled on Clark before she turned to her father. "And you… how dare you to tell your grandson to be afraid of his own brother?"
Sam was totally pale. He found no words…
Clark meanwhile speeded into the house to see Jonathan running up the stairs…
"Jonathan, please… I am sorry okay! I know it was not fair from me leave you alone!"
"Not fair?" Jon yelled and walked down the stair again. "I tell you what is not fair: Always taking the fall when Jordan screws up! Always asking myself why nobody wants to give a chance! Seeing others being successful because they have powers or take X-K! Getting punished for hiding Jordan's so called talent! Get my bones broken! But what do you know about how a broken arm feels? Someone who can't even get a mosquito bite can't understand what real pain is!"
Clark became pale again. Every time Jonathan broke his arm, he was feeling bad for him. But he also never experienced a broken arm by himself. He could not compare it to the pain he feels from Kryptonite. The rest of the family came in through the open door, too.
Clark still tried to calm down the situation. "Jonathan, I know I really messed up! But please, calm down! Today was…"
"TODAY?! What about all the times you took Jordan to your fortress? Or when you decided to spend time together and exclude me from everything? My whole live I always wondered why you never wanted to spend time with me or Jordan. You never wanted me to be part of this family ever since you figured out that you got your perfect Kryptonian son in Jordan. Your true heir! Your pride! And I am just the genetic human failure you have to hide, and you are ashamed of."
"Jonathan, that's not true!" Clark was upset. "Is it that what you are mad of? That I never took you to your grandfather…"
Suddenly Clark realized that it was really an offense towards Jonathan when he didn't introduce him to Jor-El. And after meeting Lara, he never even asked Jonathan if he wants to meet her. When Jor-El's crystal got destroyed, he thought about Jonathan but never asked him if he was sad that he never gets to meet him.
"…If this is what you want, I take you to your grandmother now."
"No! I don't need your pity! And why I should go to that place? To get a speech that I don't belong there, that I will never be like you and him and that I am not allowed to know anything? Anyway, she never wanted to see me before! Why I should go there now?"
Jonathan turned around again and wanted to storm upstairs. But Clark grabbed his arm.
"Jonathan, she is your grandmother, too. Of course you…"
"MY GRANDMOTHER IS DEAD!" Jonathan screamed. "SHE IS DEAD! And suddenly my father turns out to be Superman and is only interested in his powered child! You never wanted me! And today you only proved me that no matter what I do and no matter how much I need you, that you only care of your own kind!"
Clark's heart broke when he heard this accusations. He always feared that it could happen. But he always guessed it would be Jordan who is having a tantrum like that. And not Jonathan, who was always so supportive, understanding and selfless. The boy definitely reached his breaking point.
"I never had a problem with having no powers. But it sucks that everyone constantly reminds me that I am a failure. I GIVE UP! I AM NOT A PART OF THIS FAMILY AND I NEVER WILL BE! SO STOP PRETENDING THAT I AM YOUR SON! BECAUSE I KNOW YOU RATHER WANT MY DOPPELGANGER TO BE YOUR SON! HE KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE BUT AT LEAST HE CAN FLY! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW EVIL YOU ARE, OR HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU KILL, AS LONG AS YOU ARE KRYPTONIAN YOU ARE HAPPY!"
"You are Kryptonian, too!" Clark said. "From the day you have been born! Powers or not! You are as much Kryptonian as your brother…"
Saying out these words loudly made it more obvious for Clark that he made a huge mistake that he didn't brought Jonathan to Jor-El, too that day. Or that he still didn't introduce him to Lara, who asked regularly for Jonathan and how he develops…
"I am human! I am not Kryptonian, I am not your son, and I am not a part of this family. You made me that clear today! I AM DONE WITH YOU! SCREW YOU ALL!"
Jonathan grabbed his father's glasses, tore them off his face and shattered them on the wall. Everyone was shocked by that.
"You are not my father, you are just an alien who pretends to be!" Jonathan said spiteful before he turned to Jordan. "And we are no brothers! You are an alien! A selfish crybaby alien who gets everything he wants, just because he has some freaky powers, he loves to use to prove everyone that he is better than me!"
And with that, Jonathan ran upstairs, to hide in his room to cry.
Clark was frozen in place. Not able to process everything. He just looked on the leftovers of his glasses on the stairs and listened to Jonathan's crying upstairs. He would normally be mad on Jonathan and be harsher. He just called him and Jordan aliens. But actually it was his own fault, why Jonathan was so mad on him. A short glimpse on the clock revealed that they were gone for four hours. Four hours, Jonathan spent with doing chores for three people. Of course he must feel screwed up and offended.
Suddenly Clark could feel a slap on his back of head. He turned around to see that it came from Lois, who was crying even harder. He face full of fury, like he never saw it in his wife before.
"Our son… tells you that everyone hates him, that he has no future and has no clue how to go on with his life… and you leave him alone on the farm?! What if his doppelganger, or Lana's doppelganger or Ally showed up here? He would have been totally helpless!" Lois said full of fury and in shock, about what could have happened.
Now that Ally merged, she knew about the Kents. She knew Jonathan's face. She knew where they live! She turned to Jordan, not able to find any words for him. And Jordan was speechless, too. He would have never dare to think that Jon calls him the A-word! But now that he knew what his brother and his father talked about before he ditched him coldly, he realized that he would have reacted even worse. And now he was ashamed of his powers.
He thought about his conversation with Sarah during her Quincianera, and the fear he had that Jon could be depressive or suicidal? With the X-K reveal, he thought that it was because of the drugs. But now he understood it! His brother felt unloved and left out. This is why he took the X-Kryptonite! It had nothing to do with football. It was because he wanted to be a part of this family.
"Oh my god…" was everything Jordan was able to say. "…so that's why he took that stuff."
Jordan realized, that he would had taken X-K, too. And that he would have killed himself, if his father ditched him that coldly. Full of shame he turned away from his family and stormed upstairs. The door to his brother's room was locked… Jordan knocked and knocked ever again. But no respond!
"Jon! JON! I am sorry! I quit my training with grandpa!"
Downstairs meanwhile, Lois continued scolding Clark and Sam…
"You better come up with a good apology! And you fix that. I think I know now why my doppelganger in the inverse-world divorced your doppelganger." Lois said before she turned to her father. "And you, too! I have no clue how you want to do that, but there is no training and no flying anymore until…"
Suddenly there was a loud shattering…
Everyone was looking up to the origin of that sound. It sound like a shattering window or mirror. Jordan who was crying and halfway back downstairs stopped and looked up there, too. That sound came from Jonathan's room…
"JON?!" Jordan yelled and ran back to his brother's door. It was still locked. The rest of the family came upstairs, too.
"Jonathan!" Lois yelled shocked, slapping with her hand against the door. "Jonathan, is everything all right? JONATHAN…"
Clark used his x-ray vision… what he saw was horrific…
"OH MY GOD…" Clark yelled, while he used his powers to break in the door and get inside where they found Jonathan laying on the ground.
Two empty blister for sleeping-pills laying on the ground next to him. He shattered the little mirror he had in his room and used one of it's shards to cut his arteries on his ankles…
Everyone screamed in shock when they realized what Jonathan was doing and Clark instinctively grabbed his son to fly him to the hospital.
"Leave me alone…" the already half-unconscious, devastated teenager moaned. Not wanting to get saved. "…fuck you Superman…"
Clark was so terrified. His first thought was the hospital. But suddenly Clark remembered his son's accusations…
And so, only seconds later they were in the fortress where Lara was terrified, and shocked that Jonathan had to try to take his own life before Clark finally brought him to her… announcing full of anger that Jordan has to give up his powers if they ever do that again. And that being Kryptonian is more than just having powers. And that Jordan is not allowed in the fortress anymore until Jonathan got his powers…
When the CPS arrived on the farm to announce that Jonathan is taken into foster-care the next day, Clark could feel that he was trapped in a nightmare… a nightmare he was responsible for all by himself. And Jonathan followed his thread and never ever talked with them…
He ruined his family… and that just because he never took Jonathan to the fortress… they were no family… they were broken…