"Phil... Phil...? Phil. Phil! PHIL! PHIL!"

Agent Phil Coulson wakes up to his name being called several times, and not the way he enjoys. Maria is in his room, shaking his arm rather violently, when she is well aware that he needs eight hours of sleep and he's only on hour three. But Maria doesn't care. She shakes him harder and then Phil hears something he rarely hears. Desperation.

He's wide awake and has a strong hold on Maria, who is thrashing about and talking a mile a minute. She finally calms down and he starts to understand what she's saying.

"He's gone, Phil! He's four inches tall! He's dead! We'll never see him again! OUR CAT IS GONE FOREVER!"

Phil is calm and looks around the room, but he immediately sees Maria has already torn it apart looking for Agent. Maria is hopping up and down putting on her boots and babbling hysterically, so Phil grabs a shirt and pulls it over his head and then puts on his slippers and follows Maria out the door as she makes clicking noises and calls out the full name of their cat. He has a pair of Canadian flag pajama pants in his hand for when she finally slows down and realizes she's about to have a repeat of the time she showed up in nothing but his tee shirt.

But Maria is hellbent on finding her kitten.

After searching every room that Maria and Phil take Agent in, Maria heads back to agent quarters and begins furiously knocking on doors.

"DO YOU HAVE MY CAT?"

"WHERE IS MY CAT?"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

"IF YOU DO NOT HAND OVER MY CAT RIGHT NOW I WILL USE ALL MY RESOURCES TO MAKE SURE NO ONE EVER FINDS YOUR BODY."

But none of the SHIELD agents have seen Agent, half of them had no idea Agent even existed and the other half is too busy looking at Agent Hill in a tee shirt and boots again with Agent Coulson behind her shaking his head and holding her pants. Romanoff and Barton stare at her from the other end of the hall and walk away. They are not getting in the middle of this.

Hands balled into fists, Maria storms to the Avengers quarters, eyes blazing and a scowl so terrifying the interns on duty have all fled. She doesn't even enter the passcode, she punches the keypad into the wall and the door flies open.

Inside is just what she had expected and feared. Stark is measuring for an Iron Kitty suit, ("Iron Pussy!" he interjects, then snickers.) while Banner is working on schematics for it, and Thor and Rogers are petting Agent the wrong way and trying to force a small necktie and Captain America doll costume on the poor kitten.

Everyone whips around to stare at Agent Hill, who is now breathing heavily and turning red. Her hand is bleeding and dripping on the floor and her hair is is a very messy ponytail, and she looks like a serial killer in those boots.

Coulson slips in behind her, and then weaves in front of her and holds out his hands. "Give us the cat and no one gets hurt."

Everyone stares wide eyed, and Agent is already running straight for his parents. Coulson picks him up and backs away, and walks up to Hill. Hill's eyes are burning until Coulson takes the tie off of Agent, and she scowls until Coulson gives up trying to keep the Captain America costume on the kitten. Agent mews loudly, and Hill sighs and and runs his chin with her good hand. "I'm glad you're safe," she whispers and then looks up at Phil, relieved.

"AWWWWWW!"

Hill spins around, flames back in her eyes and cracks her knuckles on both her hands before grabbing a nearby chair and hurling it at the wall behind the four.

Coulson takes the overwhelmed kitten back to his room and grabs a first aid kit on the way. He waits up for her. She won't be long.

The next day, the Avengers team sits for their daily SHIELD meeting. Hill's hand is wrapped in a bandage and there's a proud smirk on her face. Coulson, beside her, looks amused, and four of the Avengers across the table look exhausted and slightly terrified for super heroes. Romanoff and Barton look ready to burst, and Fury is just confused, but goes on with the meeting anyways.

First subject on the agenda? Breaking and entering will not be tolerated and swiftly punished.