This chapter is rated 'T' for some language, angst, and dark themes.
Previously: Jasper snaps Swan out of her self-pity and she's determined to try harder. Victoria is put to rest, and Isabella Swan gets her new start.
Bella's P.O.V. (2210 words):
"It was time for all the wrong reasons, but time is often on my side, and I give it to you tonight." ~Sleep All Day by Jason Mraz
.:!*!:.
The wind blew, and the sun peaked out from between the clouds. I almost smiled as I looked through the trees at a doe and her fawn. I felt a bit of venom gather in my mouth as I took in a deep breath of Texas air, but I wasn't here to hunt. The doe looked over and made eye contact with me. She tensed, and I showed my teeth. She pushed her fawn ahead of her, and the fawn listened to her silent command and ran from me. The doe continued to watch me, unmoving until I growled slightly, causing the doe to hurry after her spawn.
I sighed, closing my eyes as the clouds covered the sun again. There was actually a chance of rain today. Monsoon season was approaching, but I still didn't know if I believed the weatherman. I felt a storm coming, but knowing the South, there was a good chance it would just pass over after gracing us with a five minute sprinkle. I slowly fell into memories, remembering the first time I'd experienced a Texas rain.
.:!*!:.
The dam broke, and it seemed that the ocean was dumped back to earth all at once. I looked up at the sky, scampering back into the farmhouse. I had no idea what I was going to do. There was no heating here, I didn't have a jacket, and I couldn't afford to get sick. Victoria would kill me for sure. A sneezing human wasn't going to do any good scouting for her. I was glowering at the sky when a chuckle brought me out of it.
I spun around, pulling out my hairspray and lighter. I saw Riley standing there, holding out a thick jacket, a pair of sweatpants, thick socks, and a beanie. I slowly lowered my lighter and hairspray to raise an eyebrow at him. He smiled and took a step closer to me. I didn't move to accept the clothes.
"Come on, boss. Take the clothes. We both know that I wouldn't have the brains necessary to take over this army if you were to die of the flu." Riley said with a smirk. I glared at him and snatched the clothes from his hands.
"Do not mock me." I hissed, feeling angered. Not even the newborns messed with me, since I freaked them out. I would have been a bit freaked out too, were I them. I mean, honestly, I was a human that scouted and wasn't afraid of their kind. That, alone, was disturbing, but they seemed to become really afraid when I'd get angry.
"I would never mock you, boss." Riley replied, seeming serious. "I'm sure you've noticed, but even the newborns know that you wear the pants around here. They know Victoria is a joke as much as we do."
"That's your maker you're talking about there. I'd be careful if I were you." I replied, making sure to stay passive. If this was a trick, I had to make sure that it seemed I was loyal to Victoria.
"Yeah, yeah." Riley replied, turning around and heading out of the room. Just before he left, he glanced at me over his shoulder. "Soon, you'll realize that it's you I'm loyal to, and not Vic. You are my leader, boss, now and forever."
"Might strong words, runt." I said, quoting the third Back to the Future, and making Riley smirk. He replied with a quote from the same movie.
"Boss, the future isn't written. It can be changed; you know that. Anyone can make their future whatever they want it to be." His next words were his own. "I am yours, and you feel that it's true. Please, I can help you write your future."
I said nothing, and he nodded once before finally leaving the room. I slipped on the jacket and the beanie, my brow furrowed. I couldn't understand how this vampire was slowly breaking down every one of my defenses. His declarations had been ridiculous, yet some deep-down part of me felt inclined to believe him.
.:!*!:.
I whirled around and into a crouch before the wind shifted and brought with it a scent. Peter. I calmed considerably and was able to stand from my defensive crouch.
"That was reckless." I commented just as Peter stepped through the trees and into view.
"You went pretty deep into the Piney Woods this time, Miss Swan." Peter commented, ignoring my words and referring to the far East area of Texas that was North of Houston. "You know that it's been three months, right?"
"Yes. I know." I replied with a sigh. It had been three whole months since Jasper and I had made it to Houston. I was trying so damn hard to be happy, and I was a good actress. The problem was, my mate was an empath (a fucking strong one, at that), and I couldn't fool him. I wouldn't want to fool him anyway. He knew I was trying, and he assured me that it was enough. I believed him, but I knew it wouldn't always be enough. I may be getting a little bit better, but I kept slipping into memories at the worst times...
.:!*!:.
"Your plan worked, boss. The Galveston area and western Louisiana are ours." Riley said, smiling at me. I nodded. It was about time. I'd been reading up on the Major's methods, and that was the territory it all started in for him. I needed to go there.
"Good work." I whispered, not looking at him.
"I'll take you to the harbor whenever you're ready." He whispered back, causing me to stare up at him in shock. I'd never told him my plans, and I was worried he'd tell Victoria. "I hope it helps in piecing together his past and methods the way you are hoping, boss."
I was quiet for a long moment. Very slowly, Riley lifted his hand to shake mine. I started at it for a while before taking it. He shook my hand the same way he'd shake the hand of an ally. The last of my defenses fell, and I let him in a little bit.
"Thank you, Riley."
.:!*!:.
"The Major is getting worried." Peter told me, bringing me back to the present.
"I don't blame him." I whispered in return. "I'm getting a bit worried as well. I just can't let Riley go. He's everywhere... in the earth, in the sun's rays, in every goddamn breath I take."
"He wouldn't have wanted this for you." Peter said, stating it as fact, and I suppose it was. All he ever wanted was for me was to have happiness, for me to achieve every dream I'd ever had.
"I just miss him. I miss him so much." I mumbled, swallowing stiffly and rubbing my right arm. I was still cold. I was always cold now.
.:!*!:.
It was a colder night than usual, and I had even ripped the curtains off the wall to use as blankets I was so desperate. I couldn't get sick. It was a constant battle, but I couldn't let it happen.
"Boss, I got something for you." I heard Riley say as he come into my room without knocking. "It's a space heater. I got the most expensive one, so I hope it's the one that works the best too."
"You are a life-saver, Riley." I exclaimed, reaching out with my hands for it so that I could plug it in. He shook his head.
"You stay there, boss. Stay warm. I've got you." He whispered, pulling my makeshift covers tighter around me before he headed over to the plug closest to me. The heater was great quality, and it began working right away. I was starting to fall asleep because it was so warm. I tried to fight it. As much as Riley was starting to gain my trust, I couldn't help but be afraid of becoming even more vulnerable around him. "Go to sleep. It's okay. I'll make sure you aren't bothered. Vic wasn't too happy about yesterday's near defeat, so you'll need your strength more than ever tomorrow."
I would be getting punished again, in other words. At that, I looked Riley in the eyes, and I found only compassion and sincerity. I decided I had nothing more to lose, and I opened myself up to him. I let him see how vulnerable I really was. I needed him, and that frightened me.
"Now and forever?" I asked in a shaking voice, repeating his words to me from two months ago. His smile became huge, and his eyes lit up.
"Now and forever, my leader." He replied reverently. I nodded and closed my eyes. I could believe him now.
"Goodnight, Ri." I breathed, quickly falling into a peaceful oblivion.
.:!*!:.
"Please. At least come back to the house so that the Major stops riding me." Peter said with a roll of his eyes. "Come on. He's driving me crazy. He's like a teenage girl, whining to her daddy to convince her teacher to give her an 'A'. I can't take it anymore!"
"I doubt it's that bad." I muttered, raising an eyebrow in his direction.
"No. It really, really is." Peter replied back seriously. I nodded, and he sighed in relief. "I'm glad you agreed. I was getting desperate. I was ready to try dragging you back."
"Desperate people do stupid things." I agreed, actually smiling a bit.
"No kidding. J's getting desperate too." Peter told me as we began the run back to the house. "He was about ready to come out and make sure you were okay himself, but I told him you wouldn't want him to see you that way."
"Thank you, Peter." I said honestly. Jasper could already feel my pain, he didn't need to see it as well.
It didn't take us long to get back to the house. Jasper was waiting there on the porch. He was suddenly in front of me, checking me for injuries. When he'd finished, he looked me in the eyes for a long time. I knew what he was looking for, so I let him feel it. I was still just as torn up as I'd been when I'd left this morning. I broke away from his gaze. I felt like I was failing him.
"Isabella... no." Jasper said brokenly, making me feel even more guilty. I was doing this to him. It was me and my inability to get passed my second-in-command's death that was causing my mate so much pain. Jasper just didn't understand. Living without Riley was like being without my shadow. Riley had been a part of me.
For the first time, I broke down in sobs. I let Jasper see the pain I'd been trying to bury and lock away. I grieved for my second, my most trusted, my brother. I fell to the ground, and Jasper followed. He took me into his arms, and I let him.
I was shocked from my sobbing when I felt something actually coming out of my eyes. It was venom and blood. I'd just cried. I had actually just shed tears for Riley. This got me sobbing even harder. I couldn't explain what was going on inside of me. I felt as if I was finally letting him go, and it hurt. I never wanted to let him go. If his memory haunting me was the only way to keep him with me, then I wanted it all. I couldn't give up on my second. I just couldn't.
"He'll always be with you." Jasper whispered, knowing just what I needed to hear. "It's alright, darlin'. You can let it all go now."
I don't know how long I cried, but Jasper never left me. Even when my sadness lasted long into the week, and bloodlust was beginning to become a painful experience, Jasper didn't falter in his words of comfort. I had a feeling that after this, I could begin to really move on with him.
My sobs finally quieted, and I leaned further into my mate's embrace, not yet ready to get up and face the harsh reality I had finally accepted. Riley wasn't coming back, and it was time to move on now.
.:!*!:.
"Hey boss, don't worry about me." He tried to reassure me just before he went out to a fight too far away for me to watch over. It was going to be the army's most challenging battle yet. "No matter what happens, I'll be with you."
I sniffled and gave him a hug. If he was killed, I didn't know what I'd do. "Come back to me." I begged into his chest.
"I won't ever have to come back, because I'll never leave you in the first place." He said with a grin as he looked down on me. That smug grin snapped me out of it real fast.
"If you die, I swear to God..." I let my threat trail off, and he laughed.
"You'll let me go. I just know it. You'd find a way to move on." He said, smiling at me. "You're strong like that."
"I could never let you go." I replied, unable to even fathom such a horrible concept. "You're my second, Ri."
"I know, and I always will be." He replied easily, patting my shoulder and walking out of the door. He lead the army out into the night. Long after he was gone, I spoke again, and the wind carried my silent promise into the heavens.
"Now and forever."
A.N.: I made myself cry again. Ugh. You'd think since it was all in MY head, and I knew what was coming, that I'd be able to control my tear ducts. No such luck, people! Sorry it took so long. Life hits you like that. I hope I haven't lost anyone...
UPDATE NEWS: Two more chapters. Next update will be Sunday. (Pray with me on that one. lol)
POLL NEWS: There is a poll up on my profile. I am doing an Aro story next, but I wanted to ask you guys which one I should do. Please take your time to vote.
OTHER NEWS: I don't know if any of you also read my other multi-chapter story (THD), but I wanted to let you know that I'll be finishing that one too. I won't have a special time for updates on it, but the fact that it's sitting there unfinished, when I have plenty of ideas for it, is annoying.