Hey everyone! I am back after a very very long time. I don't even want to start talking about the S08 finale. So, let's just get back to the story,alright?
Lexie was back at home. She was wondering about why she always goes back to thinking about Mark Sloan. Is he her soul-mate? Is he the one for her? Heck, she doesn't even know if such a thing called 'soul-mates' exist for real! One thing she has come to realize over the course of time is that she has always loved Mark and she always will. There's just no going back as far as loving and caring about Mark is concerned.
But, being with Mark; spending the rest of their lives together - Now, that's a different story knows that both of them have made a lot of mistakes. And frankly, she isn't sure if they will be able to make it, if they ever get back together. This time, Lexie is determined. Even if they don't reunite, the least she could do is to express her feelings to him and that might actually help her live in peace with her aching heart.
"Just tell him, Lexie! Yes, he's with another person now. And, yes, Julia is sweet,kind and pretty but we live only once. You are not breaking them apart - if he does love you and I believe that he does, he has the right to know that you feel the same way about him. Lexie, you love Mark. Come on, you have basically slept with a dozen guys the past 3 years 'trying' to get over him and it has been epic failures so far. There's nothing to lose by telling him the truth. Just do it Lexie, you owe it to yourself at least" Meredith's words flashed in her mind. Those were Mer's advice when she caught Lexie crying in the bathroom two weeks back.
Lexie finally decided that she's going to give herself one last chance at will tell Mark how she feels about him regardless of the consequences. Tomorrow, tomorrow is going to be the day she confesses her love.
"Mark, I need to talk to you. It's really important" she said, standing by the front door of his apartment.
"Come on in, Julia. Are you alright? You look a little tensed..." Mark questioned.
Julia entered the living and sat on the couch quickly, facing Mark " Okay, so...I had applied for a grant to some time back. It was much before we met each other and I got a letter today. The Chicago Medical Center wants me to join them next month. I know it's a huge decision, Mark. " Julia said.
"I love you and it would amazing if we could go there together" she continued.
Mark was stunned. He was genuinely happy for Julia but he didn't expect her to actually ask him to move to Chicago with her, though.
He didn't know what to say.
"Mark, I am going to do something that is not usually done by my type of people. Well, screw that...Mark Sloan, I love you and all I want to ask you is that...will you... Will you marry me?" Julia dropped the big M word, right at his face and Mark was shocked. He was speechless.
"So, I heard that Julia proposed to Mark last night? Talk about girl power!" Arizona exclaimed. "Hey, come on...it's special when the girl does all the talking and proposing..it's kinda sweet you know!" Callie replied, obviously hinting at Arizona's proposal.
Arizona flashed a huge grin. "What? McSteamy got proposed!? What's happening to the world!" Teddy jumped into the conversation.
Right across them, by the side of the nurses counter Lexie was listening to the entire banter. None of the three ladies noticed her present though. The moment she heard the word 'proposed' and Julia in the same sentence, her heart crushed into eyes were filled with water and she immediately dashed to the washroom. 'Now, this is familiar' she thought to herself, reminiscing that one day - where she ran into the same washroom crying her heart out after finding out that Mark was moving on - for real - with Teddy. That was back then, and here she is again, crying over the same guy for the same reasons, only a little more severe.
'Room No.139. Patient is unstable.' she read the message on her pager. It was Jennifer. Lexie wiped the tears off of her face and rushed to the ward.
"There were some complications due to the surgery but you're stable , we need to do another surgery as soon as possible to make sure you don't go through what you went through today." Mark continued, explaining the surgery to be done tomorrow to the patient.
Lexie and Mark came out of the ward to discuss the surgery. "We must take good care of her, she's stable but nothing should happen till tomorrow. The complication she had is very rare and we are about to perform the most crucial surgery and I don't want anything to go wrong" Mark reiterated his concern.
"You got to make sure of that, Lex. We have to make sure the surgery goes smoothly and you will be helping in all the ways possible and that includes you holding a scalpel" he smiled, hinting that Lexie's going to be involved in the surgery, in a bigger way than before.
"Don't worry, . I will do my best seeing that this is going to be one your last surgeries here in SGMW. So, ya...if there's nothing more. I shall see you tomorrow." Lexie replied and walked off immediately.
Mark was confused. He had no idea what Lexie was talking about.
'What last surgery?!' he thought.
When she first heard the news of Julia's proposal, Lexie was sad. But, now she's just plain angry and jealous. She's angry at herself for not being able to confess her feelings much earlier to could done it so much earlier, but she was scared. She was scared of rejection; which doesn't even matter anymore.
And, she's finally jealous of Julia - the ever so sweet Julia. Julia will be spending her life with Lexie's true love and the mere thought of Mark and Julia having babies and living in a big house with a big cute dog just irritates the hell out of her.
Crying over this is pointless now, she told herself - finally realizing the fact that Mark is somebody else's now. She had her chance and she blew it.
She decided to be as realistic as loves Mark, yes and she can never stop doing that. But, she's not going to spoil Mark and Julia's happiness - she shouldn't and it's just not right.
Lexie promised herself that night that it's time for her to get over all the unnecessary drama and focus on her residency. She's going to be professional - especially around Mark.
[The next day]
It was already 8.45 a.m. and the surgery was scheduled to start at 9.15 a.m.
Mark was surprised that Lexie hasn't arrived yet. She's usually on-time, especially when there's a surgery. She was responsible to prepare the patient before the surgery and now, he had to do with another intern who doesn't seem to know what she's doing.
It was so unlike Lexie, he thought to himself. She's always raring to go and so invested in the patient's well-being and she's nowhere to be found.
He tried calling her handphone but there was no answer.
The patient was brought into the operation theatre and Lexie dashed into the scrubbing room.
"I am so so sorry, Dr. Sloan. " Lexie apologized profusely to Mark , who was standing right in front of her.
"Pull yourself together, . We have an important surgery" Mark said, and went into the operation theatre.
The surgery went extremely well. " You did good in there, Lex. Really, good job!" Mark praised Lexie, he always knew that she was destined to be a great surgeon. " ...I am really sorry about earlier...urm" Lexie tried to apologise, once again.
"What has gotten into you Lexie. I called you and you didn't pick up. Is there something bothering you? Are you feeling okay? Maybe you should take the day off tomorrow, rest yourself and you will feel better." Mark offered her, he noticed that her eyes were still swollen (he noticed it before the surgery) and she seemed really tired.
"You know what, urm...Mark...If there's nothing more, I would like to leave..." Lexie sighed, and started walking away from him. "Lexie, what has gotten into you? Are you sure you're okay...maybe you should go and check yourself up...I can ...I can follow you if you want..." Mark offered, once again - he was worried.
Lexie turned back and stared at Mark. She couldn't control herself anymore. "No, I am NOT going to feel better tomorrow or the day after that or ever again! And seriously, stop pretending like you care about me and all that shit! Because, you are going to leave this place soon and just...just...So, please just stop this whole drama..." Lexie barked at him.
"Lexie..." Mark pleaded, he moved a little closer to her. "Just stop Mark, will you!? I am alright" she said. She took a deep breath. "I am alright. I am sorry. I am physically alright. Emotionally, I am a wreck. I am tired. I am so, so tired of loving you and I am tired of trying to stop loving you. Because nothing I do can stop me from doing that. That one thing that I continuously do every day, every second since I met you." Lexie started mumbling, trying very hard to stop but failing at it, yet again.
Mark was stunned. For the second time in a week!
"And yes, I will take the day off tomorrow. So, thank you and good night!" Lexie was embarrassed and walked away as swiftly as she could
So, what do you all think people? Let me know your thoughts on it because I would love to hear from you guys. Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I loved writing it!