Hello? Hello, hello? Um... I hope you like Five Nights at Freddy's, 'cause that's what's happening today! I, uh, wrote this little one shot; I got the idea for it a few years ago, and uh... I hope you enjoy it! I'll see you at the bottom of the page!

Glamrock Mr. Hippo's Debut

Ever since the Pizza Plex had been shut down unexpectedly on the previous Saturday morning, rumors had been flying. The statement Fazbear Entertainment had released in the wake of shutting the doors just as quickly as they had opened certainly didn't help matters:

"Uh oh! Glamrock Freddy had decided to take a break from the stage for an indeterminate amount of time. We will be closing the Pizza Plex temporarily while the band takes a break to regroup. We will reopen as soon as possible, but until then, thank you for choosing to spend your hard-earned money and time with your loved ones at our establishment! –Fazbear Entertainment"

What could this possibly mean? Parents were suddenly tasked with consoling their screaming children as they wept at the apparent loss of Glamrock Freddy. Would Freddy come back? Would Freddy be replaced? Who would replace Freddy? Who could replace Freddy? The Pizza Plex was named after him, after all; who could possibly take up a mantle such as his?

Some people theorized that Monty Gator would take over as the star of the show. Others suspected that Roxanne Wolf would take center stage, as a clever way to keep in the good graces of the young female audience. Still others said that it would be someone—or something—else entirely.

The rumors ran so rampant, the story so exciting, that a few news reporters and camera crews had arrived at the Pizza Plex amidst the crowds pouring back into the Pizza Plex auditorium, in order to tell the world about this exciting event as it developed.

Finally, it was time. The lights dimmed as people desperately tried to hush their whispers, peering at the stage with baited breath. Three spotlights turned on one by one, illuminating the band members: Montgomery Gator, Roxanne Wolf, and Glamrock Chica, stylishly serenading the crowd with their electrifying instruments. The crowd cheered along, warming up to the sweet, sweet rock music that sent deep, resounding beats into the very building, shaking it rhythmically from the highest floor to the deepest basement below.

A fourth spotlight appeared, focused on a mysterious red curtain shimmered in the neon rainbow lights. There were screams of excitement. Children shook their glowsticks frantically. A newborn baby wept with nameless joy.

The curtains opened with a near silent snap.

The music stopped playing.

Everyone in the audience was dead quiet.

All of the lights went out, except for the single spotlight focused on a single character holding a triangle in their hands. They tapped the triangle once, the echoing metal ting reverberating around the auditorium.

Finally, the new face of Fazbear Entertainment spoke:

"My friends, it seems that your journeys have led you all here," said Glamrock Mr. Hippo. "Eh, you know, it's—it's pretty exciting, I think. It's been a while since I've been onstage… You know, I used to be on stage more frequently, but, you know, when you get as old as I am, you start thinking that your time in the sun has come and gone, and, well, life, life goes on."

"This, uh, this actually reminds me of something I was saying the other day to my good friend, Orville. We were, the two of us, we were, ah, we were sitting in the food court the other day, watching the security bots go up and down the stairs and the halls. Up and down, up and down. Y-you know, I thought the whole thing was kind of, honestly kind of funny, and I said to Orville: 'Friend, you ever think about how life is just a series of ups and downs, like a flight of stairs?'"

"A-and he looked at me, y'know, with those beady little eyes of his, and he says, 'I didn't realize you had to walk up and down the stairs so much, friend.' Now, see, he had misunderstood me, thinking I was talking about moving up and down in a physical way, but the truth is, I was, I was talking metaphorical-like. I mean sure, I have to walk up and down the stairs and such to get around in life, but I meant, uh, I meant that sometimes good things happen, and sometimes bad things happen, and uh, you know, sometimes it happens one after the other, like a flight of stairs going up and down. Or a roller coaster. Ooh, did you know there's a roller coaster at the Pizza Plex now? Yeah, they—they added that sometime over the weekend, very fun, I could ride it all day. What was I sayin'?"

"Oh yes, yes; I said to Orville, I says: 'No, friend, I meant how sometimes in life, eh, y'know, a good thing will happen to you, and life will look like it's on the up-and-up, but uh, on the other hand, sometimes, sometimes something bad will happen to you, and it feels like everything's going downhill. And, uh, it just feels like that all life really is; ups and downs that just keep going on and on, and on, and on, and on, and so on until we die. D'you get what I'm saying, friend?'"

"Orville looked at me for another moment, kinda odd-like, and then he preceded to pull a delightful picnic basket out of his hat—he's a magician, you know? Well, actually, he used to be a magician, he's retired now. Still has that magic touch, though—uh… and, uh, and set it on the table between us. 'I think you need to focus on eating for a minute, instead of watching those security bots move around, friend.' That's what he said to me, and you know? I think he was right; watching those darned security bots go up and down the stairs was making me dizzy. But it got me thinking, as we ate our picnic lunch—a sandwich for me, some rye bread for Orville—it got me thinking about how we all have our ups and downs in life, and sometimes it happens so much that we get dizzy, but uh, you know, sometimes we, we just have to take a minute to look away from it all and, and enjoy a nice picnic lunch with our good friends."

"Now, you may be asking yourself the question—actually, you may be asking yourself a lot of questions, questions like—like why Orville likes rye bread when he can't eat sandwiches, o-or what year it is, or how someone like me managed to become the lead musician for a colorful rock band like this one that you've come all the way here to watch—and uh… well. For those first two questions, at least, there's uh… there's really no good answers to those questions, but as for that last one—and I said this to Orville, too, this what I said to him—maybe we're going back up on this roller coaster called 'life.'"

.

.

.

Ting!

The crowd erupted into applause as the curtain closed in front of the new face of Fazbear Entertainment. News reporters spoke excitedly into their microphones, eyes shining with unshed tears at the sheer spectacle they'd been privy to, as their cameramen panned over the standing ovations sweeping across the stands. The three band members played an incredibly moving closing number on their instruments, tears sliding down their plasticky cheeks and the entire auditorium bore witness to this amazing performance.

Children wept, for their lives had peaked at that very moment. Teenagers fell to their knees in solidarity of their new hero. A blind man smiled, for though he could not see, he knew that he had witnessed true beauty. A security guard, once trapped by her inner demons, was freed by the ravishing sights and sounds she had seen. An old spirit, far away from the crowds and yet still able to feel the resounding importance of the show, would not come back anymore.

Felp Reviews:

"Astounding! Lifechanging! The inspiring new face of Fazbear Entertainment has earned his praises!" -Time Magazine

"I laughed, I cried… this performance moved me to feel emotions I didn't existed! Five stars!" -Queen Elizabeth II

"My crops have been blessed, my plagues cleared, and my dead dog, brought back to life! I will rename him Mr. Hippo, after the hero that appeared like a light in the darkness to save me from despair and agony." -Guy with a Previously Dead Dog

"I can't believe I ever thought my Mr. Hippo magnet was worthless! I wish I was magnetic, so I could put Mr. Hippo on my body and take him with me where ever I go!" -Gregory

"MARRY ME MR. HIPPO! *swoon*" -FNAF Fan who Needs to go Outside

Felp: The Fazbear Entertainment Version of Yelp

So... yeah! I hope this was funny; it's a bit more difficult than you'd think to write a Mr. Hippo speech, but I think I did a good job. It was a lot of fun watching videos of his different stories on YouTube for research, I recommend a YouTuber named Korya BeeBee, who animated all of the stories in a very funny and cute way! Check them out sometime!

Anyway, I'll be seeing you all later, maybe. Until then!