Morndas 12 First Seed 208 4E 6:00 PM
"We're stopping for the night," Nazir said as the women's cart drew parallel with the men's wagon. "It should be dark in an hour and I prefer to set up camp while I can see."
Nazir had picked a pretty field with some nearby hills for our camping spot. Honestly, it was difficult to find ugly terrain in Skyrim, but this was an ideal camping area with fresh water and protection from the mountain winds. It was still technically winter, but you could feel the hint of spring in the air.
I was more than ready to stop for the night after almost six hours of the other women trading stories of sexual exploits and positions. Meena didn't surprise me with some of her stories considering other tales I had heard from her over the years, but I would never be able to look at the others the same again.
They had asked me for some of my own experiences, but the only thing I would say was, "Last time I shared a private story like that the person played a trick on me by giving me an amulet of Mara." The other women had laughed and respected my privacy after that.
The men's wagon had not quite come to a complete stop when Cicero tumbled off and ran to the hills screaming, "Freedom! Terrible, terrible freedom! Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"Aren't you going to go after him?" Nazir asked worried. He watched Cicero disappear over a hill rise.
"No," I shook my head as I helped the Redguard unload a kettle and supplies for dinner. Around us siblings were setting up tents, unrolling sleeping bags, and preparing several campfires. "Cicero is just doing that for attention and if I run after him it will only encourage him. He'll come back once he works off his energy or gets nervous from being outdoors alone."
Over a decade alone in Cheydinhal with only the Night Mother for company had affected Cicero in so many ways. I didn't know what he was like before, but now the jester was pretty agoraphobic – he couldn't deal with large, open places very well or large crowds of people. I had no doubt being on the rather full wagon for the last several hours had been hard on him and would make it up somehow when the Keeper got back.
Nazir and I sat down to peel vegetables for stew. I enjoyed the companionable silence as we deftly peeled and chopped potatoes, onions, and peppers. The Redguard always seemed most comfortable when he was in the kitchen, like it was his own private domain.
"Astrid would never have made a trip like this back in the day," Nazir suddenly commented. I looked up in surprise. In six years, I don't think Nazir had mentioned any of the old members of Falkreath Sanctuary. "I'm glad you thought of it. I think the last time I went to Markarth for pleasure was with Veezara." The man's voice hitched a bit at mentioning the kind Argonian's name. I felt tears gathering behind my eyes when I thought of the last Shadowscale of Tamriel. Veezara had been so gentle and sweet. He had deserved a better death than the one he got.
"I think that I miss Festus Krex the most," I said uncertain if I should say anything. "Cranky old bastard that he was, always bemoaning how we kept him up all hours of the night, he had been a good mentor to me and always enjoyed teaching me about the Old Ways," Nazir and I laughed at the memory. The old Imperial wizard had been set in his ways and made sure the rest of us knew it, but he had also been enthusiastic and the first one to be kind to Cicero when the Keeper came to Sanctuary.
Sometimes I still dreamed of finding his corpse pinned to the tree. It had been the first thing I saw upon my return to Sanctuary in my attempt to stop the Penitus Oculatus from destroying the Brotherhood. My mind would turn over and over the image of Festus' body pin-cushioned to the tree, his arms thrown up in a vain attempt to stop the onslaught of arrows so I couldn't see his face. I thought if I had just seen his face one last time the image wouldn't haunt me so, but I hadn't.
"Do you remember when Arnbjorn found that Cicero had 'borrowed' his clothes to paint and had gotten blue all over his favorite shirt?" Nazir laughed. "He transformed right there in Sanctuary and chased the clown all over until Astrid commanded that he stop!" We both laughed remembering Cicero running for dear life as the werewolf chased him.
As we continued to share stories of our dead family, I realized that maybe Nazir was happy to be leaving Skyrim for another reason. High Rock would be a chance to start over and not be haunted by the memories of those we lost. He had been part of the family a lot longer than I and had known the others a lot better. Even relocating to Dawnstar couldn't completely bury the memory of those gone. Maybe, like Babette, Nazir blamed Cicero—and to a lesser degree me—for the incredible changes that happened to the Brotherhood.
"Listener," Cicero said from behind me. I turned and saw the redhead grinning mischievously. At least he didn't try to startle me this time. Maybe because I was holding a sharp knife in one hand. I could see Cicero had one hand hidden while the other held a tether to a goat. "A gift." He handed the tether to me.
"Wherever did you get a goat?" I asked perplexed.
"The same place I got this," Cicero bragged as he pulled his other hand from behind his back and handed me a bowl of some…thing. It was yellow and sort of lumpy. It looked disgusting.
"Dear gods, I hope you don't expect me to eat this," I said as I wrinkled my nose at the weird smell coming from the material. I held it at arm's length.
"I think that's mammoth cheese," Nazir said as he gazed at the lump. He swiped a finger though it and tasted it. "Yep, it is. Not very good on its own, but it goes great with mammoth steak and hard bread."
"Cicero, don't tell me you snuck into a giant's camp and stole this," I said dreading the answer.
"Fine, loyal Cicero won't tell Hecate that," Cicero said agreeably enough. The earth shaking belied his words. "Doesn't mean it's not true, though."
"Giant!" Aventus called, pointing towards the hill rise. A head crested the horizon followed by twelve feet worth of gangly legs and arms covered only by a crude loincloth. A huge mammoth leg bone rested easily on one shoulder. Siblings scrambled to pull out bows and started shooting the huge man as he lumbered towards our camp. Arrows bounced off the tough skin of the giant who ignored them like a farmer ignores flies.
Nazir jumped to his feet and pulled his large curved sword. The Redguard gave a battle cry and started to run towards the giant, but I stopped him. "Don't get close! One blow is enough to shatter bones. Everyone stay back!"
The camp was chaos as people scrambled in every direction to keep the giant from focusing on any one group. Siltal and a few other spell casters summoned bolts of energy to try to bring down the giant. Paralytic and other illusion spells had no effect on the huge man as he swung his bone club through fragile tents.
I ran towards the wagons with the goat bleating loudly behind me as I led it on the tether. I had forgotten it was tied to my hand until I went to climb into the wagon. I looped the rope around a handle a couple of times before hauling myself into the wagon's bed. Overconfident in our safety in numbers, I had carelessly left my bow behind. If I could grab it, I knew I could kill the giant with one blow. Surely a primitive man couldn't be harder to kill than a dragon.
I threw bags of packed clothes and other supplies to the side as I desperately looked for Styx. The bleating of the goat got louder as the earth rumbled harder. I looked up and saw the giant was coming right for us, his attention focused on the crying goat. Oh gods, of course he wanted his goat back. I gave up looking for the bow to rush to untie the goat instead. If it ran away, maybe the giant would simply follow it instead of wreaking more havoc.
I tried to get up too fast and tripped over the hem of my skirt. I grunted in pain as I fell onto my side. I dragged myself to the wagon side and tried to grab the tether with thick fingers, but I was just a little too far away.
A shadow fell over me causing me to look up to see the giant looming over me. He swung back his arm with the ten-foot-long mammoth bone, ready to bring it crashing down on my skull. I threw my arm up knowing it would do no good, but what else was there to do at that point?
This was how I was going to die. Not while on contract and stopped by a lucky sword swing or a well-meaning adventurer or by a fire-breathing dragon rampaging a village, but by a random giant while on my way to a trip to a brothel because Cicero got bored and wanted to play a joke. I silently sent a prayer that I would be given permission to stand before the Night Mother in the Void and tell her exactly how stupid her Keeper was.
A blur filled my vision and I braced myself thinking it was my death blow. Instead I felt soft cloth as Cicero embraced me. He was between me and the giant's club. "What are you doing?" I wanted to yell, but my voice was frozen. The Keeper said nothing as he threw up his arm and a ward formed between us and the club as it crashed against the barrier.
"Cicero is trained in alteration," he laughed at my shocked surprise. "It would be foolish to not have learned some protective magic too." Cicero grimaced as the club crashed down again. "Not that well trained though. Cicero won't be able to keep this up for long."
Giants are simple creatures. They are happy to live in their fields and herd their mammoths keeping to themselves. Some cause trouble and bounties are sent out by the jarls to rid Skyrim of their menace, but in general they are a peaceful people. Until some fool riles them up by stealing from them or harassing their mammoths.
The thing that many people forget is that giants are simple, not stupid. Thus it wasn't a surprise that the giant realized his attack wasn't working after three or four whacks. We should have been little more than paste and the wagon completely destroyed, but we weren't. So the giant changed tactics and instead of an overhead attack, he switched to a side swing. It caught Cicero's ward on the side and sent the Keeper flying away into the nearby river.
"Hecate, Shout!" Aventus cried.
I tried, but my voice was still locked. I mentally cursed myself for not continuing to look for my bow, but only seconds had passed since the giant's attack. I struggled to my feet hoping I could dive off the wagon in time as the giant reared back for another swing.
Before he could complete his arc, the giant staggered as Aventus crashed into him. The young Imperial swung his own huge great mace into the back giant's knees forcing him to fall to his knees. Aventus scrambled up the giant's back like a large boulder hitting the giant over and over again. I didn't know it was possible to swing a great mace that fast. Aventus made his own side swing hitting the giant in the chin forcing his head back with a loud snap. There was a sickening thud and the giant fell down and was still.
A cheer went up among the Brotherhood as Aventus swung one last powerful attack, crushing the giant's skull. The boy had learned a long time ago that you always make sure your target was dead before you leave. He turned to me and placed a gentle palm on my cheek. "Are you okay?" Aventus asked.
I nodded, but I could feel the tears running down my face. I was shaking over so hard I could barely hold onto the side of the wagon. I had thought I was going to die. I had accepted the fact I was going to die. Yet, here I was still breathing. Maybe being a child of Fate had worked in my favor for a change.
"Hey, hey, hey," Aventus said gently trying to calm me. "You're fine. Nothing bad happened." He leaned forward and I thought he was going to give me a brotherly kiss or I would never have leaned forward. Instead the kiss was passionate with full hungry lips and Aventus' tongue darting into my mouth.
I jerked away as if I had been burned. I felt like I was going to throw up. This was Aventus! The same boy I had recruited and held after his first kill. The boy who I tucked into bed and told stories to help him sleep.
"I want Cicero," I whispered as I slid behind the wagon's side making a barrier between Aventus and me.
"Why?" Aventus asked confused. His brow furrowed in confusion. "He's the reason this happened. You should be furious with him."
"I want Cicero!" I yelled. I hated how strained I sounded, but I was still in shock.
"I'm here," the Keeper said. I threw myself into Cicero's embrace not caring that he was soaking wet from pulling himself out of the river. "Cicero is here."
"Stupid, selfish, unthinking fool!" I yelled as I pounded Cicero's chest and shoulders. "Think for once! Gods!" The goat still tied to the wagon bleated in agreement. The creature's cries made me burst into jagged laughter.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Cicero chanted in my ear. It was the first time he had ever actually apologized to me for his antics. In the past it was always sarcastically or a defensive measure against my anger. "Cicero thought he had snuck in and out without the giant noticing. Cicero would have fun with Hecate sneaking the goat back and running away."
"Cicero, I almost died!" I said crying.
"No, Hecate was never in any danger," Cicero insisted. "Loyal Cicero protected Hecate just as he promised he would."
"Until you were knocked way," I reminded him. I pointed to Aventus. "Aventus had to…"I paused as I looked at the other man. Aventus was glaring angrily, but it wasn't at me. His expression was pure hatred and it was for Cicero.
"You're dismissed, assassin," Cicero said calmly. He gave Aventus a sideways glance smirking as he spoke. "Good kill."
Aventus hauled himself up onto the rim of the wagon wheel so he was closer to eye level with Cicero. In truth, he loomed over the shorter man. "You have some answering for your actions, Keeper."
"Whatever for?" Cicero asked flippantly. "Everything is fine. The giant is dead and no one is hurt."
"Only by luck!" Aventus growled. "It should never have happened. Hecate is right, she could have died. What would you have done after killing a second family member?"
"Watch your tongue, boy," Cicero snarled. "Don't speak of what you don't know. Cicero has always followed the Tenets!"
"Then why did you think you had been punished by the Night Mother?" Aventus retorted. "Why were you so worried about Hecate finding out if you had done nothing wrong? I wasn't in Sanctuary much at that time, but I still remember seeing a few of your rants of fear of being found out and expelled from the Brotherhood. Maybe we would have been better off with you gone!"
I could feel Cicero's entire body stiffen at the threat. I looked up and his face was as pale as a ghost. He was looking back at me, his eyes huge in terror. "Please," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him, "don't send Cicero away. Cicero was wrong! Cicero will behave!"
"Go wait in my tent," I told him gently. I could see the signs of Cicero going into a bad fit and it would only be worsen without the Night Mother to comfort him. I kissed Cicero's forehead before sending him to wait for me. My chest hurt as I watched Cicero slink away, his form seeming smaller than usual. So much of him was wrapped around the image of bravado a jester enjoys.
"Why him?" Aventus asked after Cicero left. "What makes him so special that you would choose him? You owe that clown nothing!"
I grabbed the front of Aventus' tunic and pulled him close to me. My eyes were cold as I stared into his large brown ones. "You are never to address Cicero as clown. He may have decided to take the role of jester, but he is never to be thought of as a clown. Of all of us, Cicero has been the most loyal and given up the most for the Night Mother. If you don't respect his position as Keeper, then you will at the very least respect the Night Mother. To speak ill of her attendant is to speak ill of our Mother. Do I make myself clear?"
Aventus nodded and I released him. The taller man quietly smoothed his clothes as he took a step back. I had to admit that Aventus had grown into a very handsome man. Any woman would swoon for him to pay the slightest bit of attention, except me apparently.
"You still didn't answer my question," Aventus pressed. "Why Cicero? Why not me?" His expression was pained. This conversation felt too similar to the one I had with Cicero last year in Solitude on why I could tell Aventus 'I love you', but not Cicero. I wondered if they had any idea how similar they were.
"Aventus, I have never tried to be anything other than a sister and Listener to you," I said as gently as possible. "If I misled you in some way, I am terribly sorry, but that was never my intent. I will never be more than a sister to you."
"I seem to recall you saying something similar about Cicero a long time ago," Aventus insisted. "We all see how that turned out." I flushed with embarrassment. "All my time in the Brotherhood all I've ever seen between the two of you is fighting and yelling. Most of the time you don't even seem to like Cicero. So, why choose him? Is it some sort of misguided sense of loyalty or obligation? Do you want to keep him under your control? Why?"
"Aventus, are you familiar with the story of the Lucky Old Lady?" I asked. He shook his head negatively. "There was once a woman who was the daughter of a prostitute and an unknown man. The children bullied her for not knowing who her father was and every day she went home in tears. One day a priest of Stendarr assured her that she had kind eyes and a mouth that told lies. 'You are clearly a child of Stendarr, the God of Mercy, Charity, and Well-Earned Luck.' After this, when children asked of her father's identity, she responded with, 'I am a child of Luck.' The woman grew up to be a beautiful barmaid who one day was kind to a man in rags who turned out to be an Imperial prince. He married her for her kindness and she never knew sorrow after that. At some point a statue of her surrounded by children was erected in Bravil, her home town.
"The Night Mother's crypt used to be housed under that statue and many historians of the Brotherhood believed that Lucky Old Lady and the Night Mother is the same person. As her metaphorical children, we are children of luck. And what is luck but fate making its will known? I have always felt like Fate's daughter thrown about at her fickle whim.
"I denied my feelings for Cicero for a long time not because I didn't believe they were true, but because I didn't want them to be true. I wanted to be wild and carefree instead of bound to one man. Especially when I knew I would outlive him by a very long time. Fate didn't care about what I wanted and I was much happier when I accepted it instead of fighting against my destiny. In short, we were meant to be together."
"That is such bullshit!" Aventus practically spat. "You're just refusing to accept responsibility as much as Cicero." He brushed his wild brown hair back in frustration. "Someday, I hope you can realize how wrong Cicero is for you. I also hope I can still be there for you." Aventus picked up his mace and stomped off towards the hill rise. He yelled over his shoulder, "I'm going to make sure the giant camp is cleared out so we don't have to worry about an attack in the night. If anyone wants to accompany me, they are more than welcome!"
I noted that the Nord sister jumped up and ran eagerly after Aventus. I hoped that the camp was unoccupied. Most giants were solitary, but some did keep company with another of their species. I cannot think of a time I had seen more than two giants in the same camp. Ideally the Nord would be able to help Aventus work off his frustration and her curiosity about his bedroom manners would be sated. Not something I ever imagined that I would hope.
I hopped off the wagon and helped survey the damage of the camp. There were a lot of trampled sleeping rolls and smashed tents, but thankfully no one had been hurt. The giant had focused on getting his goat back and only had left a trail of destruction in a single path. I discussed with Nazir and Siltal if there would be any problem with bedding, but the Redguard seemed satisfied that it wouldn't be problematic.
"What are you going to do about Cicero?" Siltal asked carefully. She glanced towards the hill rise Aventus and the Nord had crested about an hour ago. "Or Aventus for that matter?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "What can I realistically do to punish Cicero? Berate him? I cannot really lock him up or otherwise restrain him. It was a moment of poor judgment and I can only hope he learned from it." I shrugged. "As far as Aventus, he's young and there's a pretty girl with him. I can only hope he'll come back in a better mood."
"I worry about the chain of command," Nazir grumbled as he stirred the stew he had managed to make out of salvaged vegetables and meat. "People may think they can get away with crazy antics if we ignore this."
"There's a difference between family matters and business matters," I said firmly. "I trust you two will make sure the others understand that difference. If you mess up as a sibling that is one thing, but to mess up representing us as assassins is another. I have many more options with the other siblings than I do with either Cicero or Aventus. Emphasize rank and seniority as much as possible for reasons for leniency."
Nazir and Siltal exchanged a look before nodding agreement.
"Thank you. I know I can depend on you two," I said gratefully. "Now, I'm going to take some of that stew and talk to Cicero. I think he's had enough of a time out and I don't want him too much on edge when I talk to him." Nazir handed me two bowls of steaming food and a loaf of bread.
I walked over to the tent Cicero had entered. I could see his silhouette and it worried me how still he was. I couldn't hear humming or singing, but there was a low murmur of worried muttering. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Foolish, foolish Cicero!"
"I'm coming in," I called as I pushed the tent flap aside. "I brought you dinner."
"Thank you, kind Listener," Cicero said humbly as he accepted the food. "Cicero should be serving the wise Listener."
"Stop being so formal," I scowled as I sat across from the Keeper. "I'm not here to yell at you."
"You're not?" Cicero was suspicious. "That's different."
"I guess I've grown a little over the years. Gods know I've had to learn patience with you," I said calmly as I stirred my hot food. "Do you trust me?"
"Of course!"
"Then why did you feel a need to retaliate when I requested for you to ride a different wagon for a few hours?" I asked. "It would seem to me if you really did trust me; you wouldn't need to react like that."
"Cicero was just joking," he said defensively.
"I know you're smart enough to know when it is appropriate to joke and when not to," I said. I took Cicero's hand. "It's okay to be apart for a little while. It happens all the time to normal people."
"We hardly qualify as normal," the jester snorted. "If Cicero is not Keeping Mother, an hour away from Hecate feels like an eternity. Cicero is scared that something will happen if he is not there to protect the Listener."
"Believe it or not, I'm actually pretty capable of taking care of myself," I reminded him, "being the Dragonborn and all."
"The Listener will always need Cicero!" Cicero insisted. He looked agitated as he slid until his side was pressed against mine.
"That's true," I agreed, "but I also need privacy sometimes. Just like you sometimes do. It's not unreasonable for you to respect that."
"Cicero will think about it," he hedged not quite willing to agree so easily but not really finding a good argument either. Cicero changed tactics. "Cicero was right about Aventus too!"
"You were," I sighed.
"He kissed you," Cicero said, his voice small.
"He did."
"You pushed him away." Gleeful now.
"I did."
"Why?"
"Because there's only you," I said giving Cicero a small kiss on his cheek. The Fool grinned wildly. "Always, only you."
"Maybe pretty Barri will make young Aventus forget all about his unrequited crush," Cicero practically purred, his confidence restored.
"You know her name?" I asked.
"Of course! Cicero knows all of his siblings," the Keeper bragged. "Clever Cicero never forgets a face!"
"Well, you better tutor me," I sighed. "Somewhere along the line I lost track of all our family."
"For shame, Listener!" Cicero scowled.
"It's one of the many reasons I keep you around," I teased. Cicero smiled as I ran my hand along his arm. "Now, instruct me, Keeper."
"As you wish, my Listener."