The Responsibilities
Despite having had the most horrible night she had lived through in years, Quinn was the store manager of Pieces of Mercy and she was also the opening manager that day. Santana had not been scheduled to come in until after lunch and offered to switch with Quinn, considering; but even though Quinn was slightly hungover, she could use the distraction. So, Santana was simply going to meet her there and help her to open up.
She went to open the building and froze upon walking up to the spot. "Oh. My. God." Quinn pulled out her phone and began to snap photos of what she saw on the building. "Bastards," she said, shaking her head and trying not to cry. Then, she called the police, the insurance company and Tina. Beth tried to go to the building, but Quinn held her hand and kept her from it. She didn't want to touch a thing until the authorities arrived.
Tina got there, first. "Oh. My. God." The woman got out of her car, with Kurt getting out of the passenger's seat. "I don't understand. Who did this?" Tina asked.
"I guess that Sam has some old friends that don't too much care for his new way of life," Quinn said. Tina and Kurt both shook their heads. There were vulgarities and slurs spray painted on the outside of the building, windows were broken and a mock Sam doll was hung from the door frame with a "niggerlover" note attached to it. "Who does this?" Quinn asked and shook her head.
"Son. Of. A. B*tch." They heard Santana say, as she got out of the passenger's seat of Brittany's car. Brittany rolled down her window and tried to get a good look at the vandalism on the gift shop. "When did this happen?" Santana asked.
"I guess some time after the festival and before now," Quinn answered, quivering all over.
By the time that she called Mercedes, she simply didn't have the courage to tell her what had happened. To be honest, the last time someone attacked this thing with her and Sam, she ran off with him to Kentucky. If she told her about this, they were liable to come back into town hitched and Quinn couldn't have that on her conscious. So, instead, she told her about the idea of Puck going to rehab and reminded her of her meds – simple enough. Now, she was worried about how even telling her that might have affected her and no one was easing her mind by contacting her back.
Quinn sighed as she glanced at her phone again and saw that neither Sam nor Mercedes had bothered to call her. Sam Evans had no idea what he was getting himself into and as much as Quinn loved the idea of Mercedes stepping out into her own – this was an indication to her that maybe her friend still was not ready and maybe she never would be. It wasn't like Quinn was the authority in Mercy's life – that wasn't the issue. The issue was she had been asking both of them if Mercedes took her medicine today and neither so much as told her yes and to go to hell and mind her own business. She didn't know for sure when they were returning, but they'd said a few days and Quinn had no idea if the shop would be back in order and operating again, or how Mercy would take it when she inevitably found out what happened.
When Mercedes was home, Quinn didn't have to worry about her instability, because her medication was on the assistant's daily task to just hand her the pill with her morning drink. If her assistant was off or away, Quinn took up the responsibility herself. Quinn even texted Sam that Mercedes was notorious for shirking her pill intake when she was involved with someone. 'If Mercedes attempts, or succeeds, at suicide while she's with you; I will personally see to it that your life is nothing but hell there-on-after!'
Sam frowned at the text and left Mercedes to sleep in peace. He got up from the bed and stepped out to look over the myriad of texts and calls from Quinn. This woman needed to get a hobby! He sighed and opened a photo she sent… and his heart stopped in his chest for a moment. 'Try to keep her away until I can get this fixed, but take care of her!' Sam made his way into the kitchen, where Stacie and Mary were seated at the table, having juice and cupcakes. Mary sometimes baked when nervous. "Do you guys have anything in here for a headache?" He asked.
Stacie quickly rushed to retrieve something for her older brother. Mary stared at her son and asked, "Do you need to perhaps go lay down and get some rest, yourself? Stacie told me that Mercedes is sleeping and you've said that neither of you really got much sleep last night." Sam didn't even correct her for her pronunciation of "Mer-su-deez," though it sounded utterly ridiculous to him. There were more important matters.
"Things are getting worse," he said and showed the photos to his mother. She cringed and handed him his phone back. "Not only have I made you guys a target, but now I'm making Mercy a target too."
"Are you sure it wasn't those… those guys that made that awful flier about you?" She asked.
"They treated her badly, but I don't think they would go this far to attack her. They'd sooner attack me than to attack her like that. I mean, I didn't really know Matt in school, but he seemed pretty smart and sensible."
"Before everyone in his house was murdered, Sam. For all you know, that boy's capable of anything," she told him. Dwight came into the kitchen, now and barely glanced at his wife. Sam noticed that she tensed up significantly by his entrance. Things obviously had not improved between them.
"Sammy, do you think you'll be alright? You look a little green," Dwight offered.
"Actually, I think that I've exhausted myself for the day and I probably need to take a break. I'm gonna just go scoop Mercy up, round up the dogs and go back to the motel and get some sleep," he said. "I have more to tell you…"
"Sam, you do not have to tell me all of these things, Son. If they are things that you want to, I promise that I will listen… but it was hard for me to come clean with my dad when Mary and I first did our business and she ended up pregnant. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to try to come to me with something with this kind of seriousness."
"I wouldn't be able to move forward without telling you what happened in there and how I started to change because of it." He gave his father a hug and told him, "But, seriously, I am so tired, I can barely think straight, right now." He smiled a small smile and snatched one of the cupcakes from the table as Stacie came back with a bottle of pills. He snatched it, downed two and ate the cupcake, whole.
"That was alarming," Stacie confessed.
"Maybe you and Mercedes should come back for dinner," Mary suggested.
Stacie frowned and asked, "Are y'all leaving? I really wish you two would stay here. You could be in the guest room by yourself and Mer-SAY-des," she enunciated, looking at her mother, "can sleep in my room with Cluster and Kissy." The girl shrugged her shoulders and returned to her seat at the table.
"Stacie, Sam has already made his decision on that matter," Mary said and glanced at Dwight.
"I'll see about dinner," Sam said as his phone was ringing. He answered, "Quinn Fabray, PLEASE stop bothering me on the day that I am trying to reconnect with my family. Mercedes is not your little baby girl and she's perfectly fine… Yes, she did. She's been asleep and I've been trying to talk to my father and brother. I'm going to wake her now, we're going to go back to our room and relax," he was saying as he went through the house to Stacie's room.
"Who is Quinn Fabray?" Dwight asked Mary.
"She's Mercedes' older sister," Stacie said, remembering the name Quinn from Mercedes' analogy about the family portrait at breakfast.
"The woman that runs the shop that Sam works at," Mary had answered.
"Is she kin to Russell Fabray?" He asked. His wife and daughter both shrugged as Sam and Mercedes were coming back through, with Mercedes now on Sam's phone.
"I trust you to watch over my gift shop and run it on your own authority when I am not there. I would think that you could try to trust me with my own body, Quinn. I know the drill, by now, Girl. And sending Sam that many messages is ridiculously uncool and I'm a little aggravated by that. How is the shop?" Sam looked at Mercedes and her face did not look any different, so he supposed that Quinn had not told her the whole truth, if any of it about the shop. " Well, kiss Beth for me. Love you…" She hung up and held it out to Sam. "Sometimes, I swear that she's jealous that…"
"Cedes, my family's here!" Sam cheered. She stopped speaking and smiled brightly.
"Hey, everybody!" She said.
"Dad, this is Mercedes, Mercedes Jones, my…" He blinked that the word 'my' came out loud, because he had told himself not to try to put any labels on her yet, and here he was, about to do just that, without her permission. "My Mercy," he said and held her hand with one of his and touched the small of her back with the other. She smiled in his direction and his heart flipped over. Whatever she was to him, she seemed pleased that he was claiming her.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. Evans. Your son adores you," she said, with a smile.
"He adores you too," Dwight said.
She smiled and nodded, "Believe me, you guys have no idea how well I know that much." The Evans in the kitchen all began to blush, and Mercedes, after a moment of thought corrected herself, "I only meant that he's extremely caring and totally respectful. He even gave up his eyesight for me, a couple of times…" She shyly covered her mouth. "He's a wonderful man."
"Mercy, you're making me blush," he said, slightly aroused by the memory of last night's blind relations. If the day hadn't been so emotional, he knew that he would be fully aroused. The brief reminder of today quickly squelched the feeling, just then. "I was thinking we'll go back to the motel and catch up on some sleep and we'll be back here for dinner."
"That's a good idea. I took a nap, but you know how I am with naps – they don't really help me out… just make me want to sleep longer," Mercedes said.
Stacie offered, "Let me wrap up a few cupcakes for you guys. Mama makes the best cupcakes."
Mercedes chuckled and said, "I'm starting to kinda feel bad, because Sam hasn't really had any home cooking being with us. Emma's cooked a few times and my buddy Kurt makes all of these fancy recipes. If I try to take some lessons, I know that Quinn will rain all over that parade. She won't even let me make my own coffee."
Stacie handed the cupcakes to Sam and said, "I'll walk you guys to the van, to keep the dogs away." But, the others came too and Stevie waited on the porch. Mercedes was walking with Kissy and Cluster, while Sam held the cupcakes and kept his other hand on her back. Everyone kept confirming dinner and the dinner time and as Mercedes secured her pets; the Evans were hugging each other. She went to get into her own seat when Stacie stopped her and gave her a big hug, "Thanks so much for looking after Sammy. You really have no idea how much that means to us!" The girl started crying and wiped at her face.
"That's right," Dwight said, politely. Sam knew his father well enough to know that he had more to say about the issue, but he wasn't going to press it. When Mercedes was inside and Sam was headed to the driver's seat, Dwight did ask, "Are you two in the same room?"
Without expounding, Sam said, "Yes, Dad." The man wanted to say more. Sam tried to hurry into the vehicle before the rest came.
"I'm only concerned, Sam. You were violently abused in prison. Before you went, I can only remember you having one or two girlfriends and neither of the relationships lasted very long…"
"I was a teenager, and now I'm a grown man. I understand that I've made some mistakes in the past, but trust me – I'm capable of making good decisions. Maybe not all the time, but who does? If you're worried that my experiences in prison have tainted my values of an appropriate relationship, don't worry. I was in counseling when I was inside and I'm seeing a counselor in Lima, as well." Sam thought about Emma. He had to call her, soon. He was still curious about her ties to Will Schuester.
"It's just that maybe you're acting out to try to prove to yourself and other people that you have changed, and the fact that she can't see makes it even more questionable, Sam. Stevie told me his theory and it has the ring of truth…"
Sam cut his father off, "Tonight, at dinner – we'll talk more. I need to get some sleep."
Beth had been at the building all day – even though she was extremely bored. The dogs weren't there for her to play with. Mercy wasn't there for her to talk to. No customers were there, because Quinn had to shut things down in order to try to get everything back to normal. Her father wasn't coming to pick her up before Quinn's shift was over. To be honest, Quinn didn't even feel comfortable with Nana Puckerman or Puck's younger sister picking her up, either. But, she would have to have a sitter during the day, soon. She still had another month of kindergarten, but by summer vacation, though technically, Puck will have been in rehab for 28 days, he probably needed to commit to a longer program before Quinn could regain her trust in his ability to be alone with Beth.
In a way, Quinn felt like she was being unfair. After all, he only messed up like this one time. But, at the same time, she had to be 100% certain. This was her daughter's life and well-being. She would never place Beth in an environment where anyone could cause her physical or emotional harm – especially not her own father. She knew firsthand how damaged a girl with daddy issues could become. Hell, their entire social circle was one big collective of daddy issues, for the most part.
Tina eventually returned to the building to collect Beth for Quinn. "I appreciate you doing this, Tina." Quinn said, covered in grime and sweat. "It took hours for the insurance people to come in and now, with having to clean up the glass and wait for the window people, and…"
"It's no problem for me to pick up my niece for a bit. We'll go get some clothes for her, manicures, pedicures… It'll be a Beth and me day, and I'll owe you one, too – after all of this." Tina glanced around the place. "Was any of the merchandise damaged?"
"Not really. Some of it ended up with glass all over it from the windows. Sunshine and Becky have been making sure the merchandise has been cleaned up and Lauren and Santana have been doing the inventory, to be sure that nothing is missing… but nothing is. They wanted to scare her and hurt her feelings and the reason is because of that stupid flier!" Quinn snapped, angry, all over again.
"I still don't understand how Matt Rutherford was able to get into the festival with those," Tina commented.
"Well, on the application for the booth, Anthony is the one who filled out the paperwork and he kept things non-specific and general. The Justice for Families of Victims of Hate Crimes booth is a worthy cause and when I was going over the applications with Mercedes, she was elated to have that be one of the booths. Matt's name was not attached to it in any way and with Anthony being a friend of both Shane's and Mercedes', we thought nothing of it to get him to submit a list of volunteers or staff. Unfortunately, now we'll have to start actually screening people… for a charity event. How sad is that?" Quinn's eyes dampened, but she didn't cry again.
"Did you tell Mercy about this?" Tina asked.
"No. I told Sam and I told him to keep her away from here until we could get it cleaned up."
Tina suggested, "Beth, you want to go get into the car with Uncle Kurt?" The girl rushed out of the building and Tina looked at Quinn, "We have a serious problem on our hands. Mercedes has never had any enemies before, and this place has always been her safe haven and her sanctuary, after having been in the home for years. Now, someone knows where she lives and they aren't going to just back off because she's blind, obviously."
Quinn had already tortured herself with the possibilities. She answered, "I'm going to have a fence installed. It'll be one of those big barred metal fences with a top of the line security entry only and we're getting cameras, too… in the front and back of the store and at all of the doors, even the entryway that goes down into the basement. It'll look like they sacred her, but at least she'll be safe. Along with having Cluster and Sam here, if someone does try to come causing trouble, they'll have it until the cops can get here."
"Do you think that you should hire security?" Tina asked. "The place that Kurt and I use for the Magic Mirror is very good."
"No… not yet, anyway. Mercy's already going to be uncomfortable with the new changes. But, I've thought about maybe getting a couple of more guard dogs, for inside of the gate, during closing hours. I might consider having guards here until we get the fence up and finished. I don't know. You guys are always telling me that I'm being overprotective or overreacting, so I never know when my plans are sensible or not." Quinn felt virtually helpless and actually wished that Mercedes was here to deal with this. Mercy was always so tough in the face of adversity. The woman had very few fears.
"I don't think that you're overreacting. In fact, even though I've warmed up to Sam… I don't think that having him here is alright. It's going too far, now, and it'll only get worse as they get closer. There is a huge stigma attached to women of color who choose to be with white men, especially black women and unfortunately, it's going to be magnified with a man like Sam because of his past and the tattoos. I mean, does he plan on wearing those long sleeve shirts through spring and summer? He should have at least enough money for a deposit on an apartment somewhere. He really should find someplace else, now."
"Unfortunately, it's a little late for that," Quinn said. "Now, someone knows that he's here. If he were to leave now, that makes Mercedes have to be here alone if something like this happens again."
"Think it's time that she found a new place?" Tina asked.
"You actually think that she would? This place once belonged to her family. It is the only thing that she has that once belonged to both of her parents. She would die before giving it up."
"I'm not saying that she gives it up. I'm just saying that she can still own the shop and yet live somewhere else."
"Yeah, but she only has to pay for her utilities and property taxes…"
"If it's become unsafe, though…"
"This is her HOME, Tina!" Quinn finally snapped and threw down the broom she had been cleaning up the glass with. "This is the first home that any of the three of us really had," she said and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Why do you think that I have worked here, the entire time I was finishing school and college and now, I don't even really use my business degree, because I have been managing this place since she opened it up? This place is my sanctuary. We can't just let someone run us out of here."
"Well, we all have responsibilities, Quinn. One of yours is letting Mercedes know what's going on while she's out. Sure, it may have a negative effect on the trip to Kentucky, but as you just stated. Pieces of Mercy is very important to her and she has the right to know. She may not even want a fence and cameras, and that's her decision to make."
"She trusts me with such decisions," Quinn said and picked up the broom. "Thanks again for helping out with Beth while Puck's out of commission."
Sam stared into the mirror in the motel room, at himself, shirtless – his eyes traced all of the photographic mutilations on his form. He never thought that he could hate himself so much, but looking at himself took tremendous effort and even when he succeeded, what he saw disgusted him. Mercedes came out of the bathroom and called him. "Over here," he said.
"Is there anything in the floor? You know this is a new room to me," she said.
"Nothing there," he said and touched the area of chest right over his heart –one of the few clear places on him. That spot was reserved for his wife… he'd always intended to get his wife's name there. But, if he were to get a name there, it'd be one rose on a web of thorns all over him. Before he realized it, he felt Mercedes' hands on his hips. He froze and took a deep breath as he watched her brown little hands stroke their way up his pale body.
Her hands moved up and softly brushed over the tattoos and he watched them. Those precious hands looked out of place touching such hideous images. He grabbed her hands and held them away from his body. "I don't like to see you touching those. It makes my stomach turn…" Mercedes pulled her hands from his hold and walked off. He missed her hands, already. Her touch felt so right. Her touch was everything and seeing her hands on that ink just reminded him of how little he deserved from her. She gave him her virginity… what was she thinking? What was he thinking, to accept that honor?
And she had been upset, at the time, too! It seemed perfect to him at the time, but today, everything felt wrong. Reopening the old wounds from prison had not helped, at all. The things that he had gone through and tried to get passed – things he had kept from her… he probably should have told her sooner. What woman wants to be with a man that's been violated and passed around more than once, more than twice?
When he was released, he wanted to plow every single woman that he saw, not because he had been such a sex lover before his imprisonment, but to assure himself that he was still man enough to even be with and enjoy a woman, without all of the baggage bothering him. With Sugar, it was slightly doable. He just focused on the physical feeling and the physical was enough to reassure him that he was still a man… a whole and full man (not that he currently thought that a gay man was not one, but he wasn't born gay and he didn't want a traumatic experience to turn him that way). Was Mercy crying? "Mercy, what's wrong?" He asked, turning around to leave the mirror behind him.
"I think that everything is just now catching up with me. Yesterday was a huge mess. Today was a mess…" She wimpered.
"Today was a mess? I thought you had a great time with Stacie."
"I did, after I almost got attacked by your brother's hate dogs and before your dad came home and Stacie tried to turn everything up extra loud because she was worried that I would hear something that might hurt me. Your dad doesn't approve. I could hear it in his voice. Your mom is trying, but she doesn't think much of me either and God – Stevie!" She shook her head and said, "I know that it's important what your family thinks, to you, and I'm a little freaked out right now. What happened last night… I wanted that to be the start of something, not the beginning of the end…" Sam rushed to her and held her hand. "I shouldn't have pushed it," she said. "You didn't seem ready and I was urging and I should have let it go, because I'm gonna end up hurt and alone, aren't I?" She was asking herself, not him.
"You won't be alone unless you want to be. I meant to do what we did and I meant what I said when I told you that I love you. It's soon, and we're moving fast, but I don't think that makes it any less real. The time that we've known each other and spent together has been utilized to open our hearts to each other and I believe in us." Mercedes practically hopped on him to kiss him and he leaned back to allow her to climb on top of him. It probably would have been a better idea to try to get some sleep, but he wanted nothing more than to kiss her, over and over…
"Sam, what are we doing with each other?" She asked.
"I… I was waiting on you to tell me," he confessed. "Look, I'm damaged. I know that about myself, but you never seemed to care that I'm damaged and that means a lot to me. I want us to be together. I know that there are still layers that we have yet to peel away from each other, but I'm willing to allow you to peel away any layers that I have, until you know every little and big thing about me, and I hope that after all of that you can still want me."
"Sam, there's nothing that I want more than to be able to have a lasting love with someone, and I know that you've been so open about my condition, so far – but what about in a few years, when you've regained control over your surroundings and you've removed your tattoos and gotten a good job and a nice life? You've just been reunited with your family and they can possibly help you to get back everything that you lost or gave up. You could turn out better than ever and not the least bit damaged… what will you want, then?"
Mercedes sat up and sighed, "Right now, you need someone's love. I get that. I understand. But I'll have to see how you feel once you get yourself squared away and you really know who you are before it can be determined that the love that we have is actually love. You said it yourself – what the hell do I know about love?"
"I don't think I said that…" he answered in a small, sad voice. "When I told you I love you… You didn't believe me. And you didn't tell me that. You just told me that you love me too. Did you even mean it?" He asked, holding back his tears.
"I meant it as far as I can understand. I guess that I needed this trip to see that I don't know how to fit inside of your world. I don't even know how to fit inside of my world."
"Why do we have to fit inside of anything? Every time I look at you, I see someone who is bigger and greater than anything else that I know. Together, we can create our own world," he practically begged her.
"Sam, being around your family was stifling. But, you were completely comfortable, because they're your family. For the past few months, I've presumed that you couldn't come back to your family; that you had no place with them – so I've tried to help you fall in with us, on our little Island of Misfit Toys. But, you aren't a misfit toy, Sam. You are a little wooden boy who wants to be real someday, and you've got a real shot, here… with them."
"God, are you breaking up with me before we even get together?" He asked.
"No. I'm never going to leave you, Sam. But, I'm not quite convinced that the same goes for you." She stroked his hair, "Handle all that you need to handle in order to be a real person again. Be confident in who you are. Learn to love yourself, and if after that, you still think of me – then we'll see how it goes."
"Mercedes… I cannot do any of that without you. I never would have even had the heart to come home if I hadn't watched you with your family these past few months and saw the things that you guys love each other through and how you support each other, no matter what. And, I've tried to respect all of your choices regarding us, but I can't sign off on this. I trust you with my everything. I only ask that you at least trust me enough to give me a chance to show you that I actually love you and I'm not going through some kind of phase. So… I want you to be mine, officially. I want to be yours and I would like for us to stay here for a little while – just until you can get comfortable with being with me, without having your friends there to orchestrate how you should or shouldn't feel."
"What's a little while? I have a business to run and a life to live. My personal assistant is not here and I'm not familiar with my surroundings…"
"Trust me, Mercy. I am not going to let anything happen to you." He said, cupping her face. "Besides, you have Quinn to run that business for you and technically, I am one of your personal assistants. So, you can just run your business from here, and they can do it all there. Quinn actually wanted you to stay a way for a bit anyway… she thought that you needed a little break." What was wrong with her? She trusted him so firmly just the previous night – that's how the hell they even ended up in Kentucky. If she had said no, he would not have gone without her. He didn't want to be anywhere without her.
"I suppose I can agree to that. This is all new to me and it's scary, too."
"You think that this isn't scary to me?" He asked. "I'm constantly worried that you'll wake up one day and realize that you never should have let me into your life." He kissed her and told her, "I just want to prove to you that I can be someone that you never have to feel that way about."
"So, you want to what, have a trial run as a couple?"
"No. I want to be a couple, but I am giving you the chance to have a trial run, if you're unsure about me." She laughed. "So, my sweet lady… will you give me a chance? In a little over a month, I have a birthday coming up. Do you think that you could stick it out with me, until then? We could go back, soon after, and if you just can't handle it, tell me at any time, and we'll go back to Ohio, together." He rubbed his nose against hers. Mercedes shut her eyes as she committed the sensations of his affections to memory. "Mercy?"
"I don't… know how to say 'no' to you…" she whispered.
"I'm glad to hear that," he said and began to devour her lips and lay her back down on the bed. But honestly, he was pretty tired and knew that she was too. They would have plenty of time to do this, later, or tomorrow, whichever. Right now, some sleep was in order. After just another kiss.. and another… and another…