Warning: Chapter contains some brief imagery of graphic violence
The Rutherfords
Matt was the head of the Academic Decathlon, National Honors Society Vice President, President of the Black Students Union, a star athlete – starter on the football, basketball and baseball teams, Glee club junior choreographer and dancer, and a member of the French club, Red Cross, Junior NAACP, Student Council, Yearbook staff, and Student Tutor in several classes. He wanted to end his senior year at Carmel High with a bang that would bust the eardrums of his classmates.
"Exactly how successful do you think that you need to be in order to consider yourself successful?" Jesse St. James asked him at the Student Council meeting he came into late because he had to finish up some things for the senior trip that he was heading up the committee for.
"Whatever constitutes as the best," Matt said with a shrug. "What'd I miss?" He sat down and the secretary began to cover everything that they had mentioned. The two young men had been academic and social rivals since grade school, yet – they also were always around each other. They weren't friends, but they spent time in each other's company and they weren't "enemies" but they always were competing.
"Where is the prom committee?" He wondered, "I thought that they were supposed to be getting with us on their plans this meeting."
"We are the prom committee, this year," Jesse told him. "No one wants to work with us, because they're intimidated by you."
Matt answered, "That's ridiculous."
"You shoot down everyone's ideas, because they aren't as good as yours," Jesse told him.
"See, that's the problem that I have with today's youth. If someone shoots down my ideas and dismisses them as not good enough, to me – that means one of two things… either I make an effort to come up with a better idea, or I prove to them that my idea is actually the best. I don't think that I can commit to prom committee. I have too much on my plate and I'm not that concerned about the prom, anyway," Matt admitted, typing up notes on his laptop.
Anthony held out his hands and asked, "Are you being serious, right now? Your girlfriend isn't driving you CRAZY about this, like mine is?"
Matt shook his head and laughed, "She cares about the prom as much as I do. She's like one of the guys when it comes to stuff like that."
"She's just like one of the guys, period," Jesse commented with a smirk. Matt rolled his eyes. "Your girlfriend is a closet lesbian. The minute that you accept that, the minute you can move on." He reached over and began pushing buttons on Matt's laptop.
"You sucka!" Matt hissed and pulled the device out of the President's reach. Jesse simply laughed and Anthony grimaced at him. Matt deleted the random characters as he said, "And on to the stuff of substance, and the only reason that I decided to show up for the meeting, in the first place – graduation speeches. It is a given that I am going to be Valedictorian this year, and Jesse's most likely gonna be Salutatorian…"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa… back up, Boy," Jesse said.
Anthony growled, "What is it with you and calling us 'boy'?"
Jesse put a finger up at Anthony and made a series of little noises that indicated he wished for silence, to Anthony's chagrin. Jesse ignored him and asked Matt, "What makes you think that I can't make Valedictorian this year?"
"My GPA is higher than yours," Matt said… "Routinely. I am smarter than you, in general and more successful in the academic area, on a regular basis. You are more popular than me and more successful in the social area. I'll be Valedictorian. You'll be Prom King, and everyone will expect nothing else."
"I can be Prom King and Valedictorian," Jesse said, simply.
"At what school?" Matt asked, rhetorically, looking up from his laptop with an annoyed and confused expression. "Tell you what – if you really believe that; then may the best man win. I was going to stay out of the social scene royalty for you and let you shine, but since you insist upon challenging me… it is on, St. James. You've met your match, trust me. I am going to be Prom King and Valedictorian and you should be glad that I'm not going to go so far as to boost you out of the Stu Co Presidency."
Jesse lifted an eyebrow at his rival and smirked, then pressed more buttons on his keyboard.
Matthew was the golden child.
He had an older sister who still lived at home, while she went to college in Defiance. She had not had any children at an early age or terrible phases while in school, but she was quite mediocre. There was nothing that she really excelled at, she made average grades in school and had gotten into a nearby school, which her parents were paying for her to attend, and making average grades there.
He had a brother two years younger than him, who was actually only one grade behind him in high school. While his younger brother was even more intelligent than Matt and his grades were superb, he was shy and lacked the confidence that Matt carried. He was not involved in social clubs or non-academic extracurricular activities. Plus, he was pretty small for his age and not very active, so he wasn't involved in any sports. He was as smart, but not as well rounded.
Then, there was the baby girl. She was still young and pretty much spoiled by everyone in the family, but especially Matt. He had more photos of her than any other member of his family and when he was stressed out about school or some upcoming responsibility, it was his bright little ball of sunshine that helped him out of any funk that he allowed himself to be put into. He knew that someday, she would follow in his footsteps and be a social, emotional, mental and physical Rutherford powerhouse.
At eight, she was already one of the smartest children that he had ever met, and everyone in their family was the open and honest type, so information was never held back from her. It gave her a maturity that many other children her age just did not have and Matt was always proud of her.
Yet again the phone rang, but Matt was far too involved in his current work to bother with answering it. He had a center on his curved desk of three televisions and three computers. Weeks had passed since he saw Evans at the April Showers Blessings Festival and now, he was starting to worry. He had lost the trail of the other Evans months ago, but had reason to believe that they were in Kentucky or Indiana. He wondered if Sam Evans had not gone to see his family, and if he had – Matt needed to figure out where they were.
After several hours, he heard a knock on his door and he finally allowed himself a stretch of the legs. Andrea Cohen, his ex-girlfriend and current right hand man, entered the room, holding food in her arms, along with some supplies and said, "A friend of mine has been trying to call you."
Matt yawned and reached for one of the phones, "I've been busy."
"Are you too busy to hear the needs of a survivor? That is what we're here for, isn't it?" She asked and handed him the white takeout container.
"Definitely too busy to eat, but I appreciate your consideration, he told her as he placed the container on the nightstand near his bed. "Aphasia Something… is that the friend that you mean?" He asked as he checked the caller ID.
"The same," Andrea told him as she began to sort the supplies she had come inside with, out into their rightful places. Matt keyed the woman's name into one of his computers to pull up the file that he had on her.
"She went to school with us. She was a sophomore the year I graduated and claimed that Dave Karofsky, junior, Jesse St. James, senior, and freshman Sam Evans raped her," he read. "But, Jesse rebuked her claims, insisting that Dave Karofsky had sexual intercourse with her while he and Evans watched, but Evans never touched her and she only performed oral on Jesse. What is she contacting me for? Dave Karofsky committed suicide a few years back, Jesse was recently killed and I'm already working on destroying Sam Evans."
"Is that what you're doing? From where I'm standing, there seems to be some self destruction afoot, as well. The backlash from you attacking the character of that blind shop owner hasn't died down any on the site, and you've tripled death threats from the actual Nazi sympathizers."
"The blind shop owner is an actual Nazi sympathizer," Matt reminded his partner.
"By my research she's an actual sympathizer, period. It just so happens that this time a Nazi crossed her path. Then, all that stuff with her friends, with your girl, Santana Lopez and the big girl who had her car smashed, the sweet and refreshing Emma Pillsbury who had a cross burned on the lawn of her home and place of business, and of course, poor Shane's community center…"
"You aren't going to guilt trip me, Andrea. The only emotions that I still have are guilt, rage, and determination, and I didn't do or say anything to implicate Shane Tinsley in anything. He's a victim, too." He took a seat and began to call the woman back, "Hi, Aphasia, this is Matthew Rutherford, finally returning your calls."
"I've been seeing those fliers around town of the Free Nazi, Sam Evans. I would like to meet up with you to discuss something about him," she said.
"Is it pertaining to the claims that you made about him years ago?" Matt asked.
"Partially – but it's more to do with Jesse St. James and what happened the night that he died," she said. Matt quickly jotted down some place and time to meet the woman and hung up.
When Matt approached the building, he flung the cigarette that he had been smoking aside and pulled the door open. He saw the woman that he was set to meet, sitting in the corner, hugging her cup of coffee with her fingertips. "Aphasia," he said.
"You remember me from school?" She asked.
"I remember the stories and I remember your face," he said and shook her hand, "Matt Rutherford."
She glanced at the hand, but made no move to shake it and he withdrew the thing as she told him, "I remember you. You were friends with Jesse St. James. I remember you because I was so perplexed, so disgusted by the fact that you could be friends with someone like that… but, you like everyone else probably thought that I was just some lying slut that felt bad about a poor choice."
"All that I thought was that it was unfortunate that there was no proof, on anyone's part as to what really happened. I wanted to believe you, but I knew him and I didn't know a thing about you. It came down to your word against theirs."
"Now, knowing what you know about Sam Evans… you do believe that I was telling the truth," she said.
"I now believe that people who seem perfectly normal and perfectly harmless are capable of some terrible things," he said, and reached for a menu.
"It works both ways. People who seem perfectly terrible and perfectly dangerous are capable of some glorious things," she said.
"I think I'll try the chicken casserole with a grilled chicken cutlet on the side," he said, "Are you referring to Sam Evans? Is this about his likely involvement in Jesse's murder?" He looked around for a waitress, ordered a café au late and his meal, then turned back to Aphasia, "Because if Sam Evans killed Jesse St. James, which I believe he did, I don't see that as a glorious thing. Because I think that Sam Evans deserves to die, but I have not tried to kill him and I won't. But, if Sam thinks that Jesse deserves to die, whether he did or not, Sam has some damned nerve to decide on what night he should."
"Sam Evans didn't kill Jesse St. James," Aphasia said, as a matter of fact. "I was there that night, and Sam Evans left the theatre, right after he got out of the building. St. James and the wife were attacked by someone – someone who seemed like he didn't really want to hurt the wife, someone who attacked St. James, but didn't touch the wife, and ran off with their stuff. Mr. and Mrs. St. James have a talk, then he dies, then she calls for help, but she doesn't get up and leave and she doesn't yell for help the entire time the attack is happening."
"She was in shock," Matt said. "Giselle and I have already discussed this."
"Do people in shock usually talk back and forth with people?"
"Could you hear the words? She may have been rambling to him or to herself," Matt said.
"Why is it so important for Sam to have done this?" Aphasia said.
"Because maybe if he killed Jesse St. James; he could be in prison for the rest of his life. Let me tell you how I feel about prison sentences. I feel that the criminal, after being found guilty in a court of law beyond a reasonable doubt, should be imprisoned until each of his or her victims recover; and my family is never going to recover. Is that so wrong? That I believe that he should have to suffer for as long I have to for what he did?"
"And you also think that blind chick and her offbeat little band need to have to suffer too?" She asked.
"I could have done something worse than making them a little afraid and making them a little uncomfortable. I could have beaten them, tortured them, taunted them, and made them watch as this happened to the others, raped the women, castrated the men, hung them, wrote slurs in their blood and laughed the entire time. I could have driven nails into the back of one of their heads, while he was still alive. I could have pissed on their child's dead body… I think that his little circle of support got out easy on my vengeance scale."
"Matt…" Aphasia started, but she could see nothing but hatred in this man's eyes. She couldn't imagine any sound words penetrating the cell of darkness that he was trapped inside. In a way, she understood. "Don't you think that Jesse St. James probably knew something about what happened to your family? He and Sam Evans were friends in high school. They were really good friends, sometimes. I know from experience."
"Sam Evans was one of the many friends that Mr. Popular, Jesse St. James allowed to follow him around. They weren't actual friends. Did you ever see the two of them have dinner together? Go to a movie? Bowling? Putt – putt? All I ever saw was Jesse calming him down when he said something highly offensive and talking to him, just as casually as he did anyone else in the student body, seeing as how Jesse was the Student Body President."
The woman shut her eyes and said, "I have other women who are willing to share their experience of what Jesse did to them – what the three of them did. You insisting that Sam killed him actually makes him kind of an unlikely hero to some of us." She opened her eyes and said, "Sam Evans came to see me about a little over a week before Jesse St. James died. He wanted to apologize to me for what they did to me. I wanted him to come forward. All I have wanted since it happened was some justice. I didn't want revenge. Just justice… but some of them did want revenge. Some wanted him to pay. Some of us still want some light shed to everything that he put us through."
"Is that why I am here?" Matt asked. "Because I don't know if you keep up with my work, but people are starting to get hurt when things are exposed."
"After Sam and I talked, I was sent into a crazy phase. I started to follow Jesse St. James, again; even though he had a restraining order out on me. I was waiting outside for him that night. The only reason that I have not been arrested for the crime is probably because I'm too short to have been able to stab him where he was stabbed…" She was still talking, but Matt was pulling his laptop out of his bag, and vaguely listening to the rest of her story. "And I had a camera, just in case I could catch St. James doing something wrong…" He looked up at her. "His wife watched him die. She's wasn't in shock. Now, everybody who has ever seen them knows that woman was crazy about that man. Why would she let him die? Couldn't be money, because he gave her every little thing her heart desired."
"You think that he was abusing her?" Matt asked.
"I believe it with all of my heart," Aphasia said. "Jesse St. James was the kind of man that a man like you hunts after and exposes. You talk to that wife if his and see how she responds if you suggest that someone has it on tape… maybe she'll confess to you."
"If she does, I'm certainly not about to hang her out to dry," Matt said.
"I don't want you to. I want you to get her to hang him out to dry," she said.
"How can she do that without implicating herself as his murderer?" Matt asked.
"Now, Matt Rutherford – I didn't personally know you in school, but wasn't your motto 'Always has the best solution'? You'll figure something out," she told him.
"Now, tell me the truth… Did you really see Sam Evans leave the theater when he came out?" Matt asked, staring right into her eyes.
"No, I didn't," she said, evenly. "In fact, I think that he did do it."
"Good. Then we agree that he gets to go down for his part in this," Matt said.
"No, we don't agree." She said as she pulled out some news articles that she printed off of her computer, "Sam Evans was raped in prison, multiple times. It made the news, but I don't watch the news, so I missed it, at the time. He knows what it feels like. He's had to walk in a pair of shoes that he's helped to force on other people's feet, and what he did to Jesse was…"
"Vigilantism," Matt said, without a second thought. "I'm sorry that what happened to you happened, but what Sam should have done was come clean and let the system handle it. If you have all of the testimony that you claim, it would have worked. Jesse's money can't save him from being outnumbered with the witnesses and charges." He typed onto his keyboard and said, "But, I will be speaking with Giselle and if I come to the conclusion that Jesse was who you say he was, I will expose him, but not at her expense."
Matt smiled at his computer and said, "And thank you, for that information that you gave me, earlier."
"What information?" She asked, as she had given him a lot.
"That you aren't the right size for Jesse's killer. That means that the police need to be trying to figure out if Sam is. Then you mentioned the prison rape, which resulted in Sam Evans killing his main aggressor. I wonder how similar this guy's death was, if at all to Jesse's." Aphasia took a swallow as the waitress came and set Matt's food down. "Did you have anything else, Miss Aphasia? I could really use someone like you on my team."
"Sorry, that's all I have… except for the tape that clearly shows your friend letting her husband die," she said.
"Are you threatening the security of another survivor to protect Sam Evans, one of the very men who did what was done to you?" Matt asked.
Aphasia said, "More like more concerned about a survivor willing to do something about our aggressors than one who looked me right in my eyes and told me to get the hell out of her face, when she must have known that her husband had done what I was trying to get justice for."
"Possible negotiations to come," Matt said and began to eat his food. "Mmm… this casserole is off the chain. You want some?"
She scoffed, "No, thank you." Matt continued to eat his food and work on his computer as Aphasia sat in silence and finished her coffee. "I'm not after Sam Evans, you know?" Matt said.
"Yes, you are," she told him.
"I believe in what I'm doing, make no mistake of that," Matt told her, "But Evans is not the big picture. He is only one member of the monster that I am at war with… but he's an important enough member that I must deal with him. Maybe if I can get him taken care of, I can feel how you must feel, without Jesse." Matt froze and looked at something beyond Aphasia. She turned to look and saw nothing that would warrant the face that Matt wore. But, when she looked at him again, he was shaking and clenching his fork tightly.
"Matt?" She said. He blinked tears out of his eyes and the little girl with blood all over her faded away, but she had taken his appetite with her.
Matt set his fork down and said, "Everyone wants me to try to understand what Evans must be going through, trying to change his life around… How many damned people do you think want to try to understand what the hell I've been through?"
The phone calls and hate mail had increased. Matt's mother was bewildered that people were actually still like this – making death threats and calling her and her husband and their children everything but a child of God. Fortunately, she was hiding things from her children very well, but it was starting to get bad. She had gotten an email that read: "You have no idea what we are capable of. You have no idea how far out and how deep inside we can reach." That same week, a car had almost hit her eldest daughter when she was crossing the street to meet up with some friends. Her elder son had gotten his locker vandalized. Her younger son had been summoned to the principal's office, but when he went, had gotten snuck up on, scared, had an asthma attack and had his inhaler stolen. The principal had no record of calling him out of class and didn't understand why he had a summons from the principal's desk. Fortunately, someone had seen him and contacted the nurse. And her youngest daughter had reported that a strange man was trying to ask her for personal information, but she'd refused to talk to him and told her teacher that he was a stranger and bothering her.
Mrs. Rutherford was a bit of a mess. But, her husband promised her that as soon as they got done with Matt's graduation, they were moving away. He had the house already set in order and they would be leaving the town soon. She counted the days in terror. She worried each and every day for her children. She knew that something bad would happen if they remained there, but she had no idea that it could get as bad as it did. She never thought that even though they hated her husband and his family that they would ever do the things that were done to her and to them. As she looked up at the boy with the mullet – a young man who could not have possibly been any older than Matt, she croaked out, "Why?" He didn't even understand the question, but he seemed to find it funny as he came at her throat with his hunting knife…
Jesse sighed as Will fussed at him, "You told me that this would be my last chance… that they were moving in another week and this was it!"
"I must have gotten the wrong information, Will," Jesse said, innocently.
"Or, you purposefully told me the weekend that you knew your buddy Matt was out of town, because you're so weak that you can't stand the idea of getting rid of someone that you've been next to your whole life," Will accused.
"I have to say that I am pleased that he and I will still have chances to compete against each other. I don't know what kind of a world it would be without Matt Rutherford there to rival me," he said, with a small grin.
"Rival you?" Will asked and laughed as he poured himself a drink, "What Matt Rutherford is going to do is ruin you, because you are too soft. 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer' is not just a goddamned classic quote, Jesse! It is an effective and necessary way of life and of war. You do realize that this is a war? The Rutherfords' life goal is to challenge and destroy everything that we value! Do you believe in our cause, or not?"
"I do," Jesse said.
"Are our values tattooed on your heart?" Will asked.
"Tattooed on my heart and flowing through my pure blood," Jesse replied. "This is going to work out, Will. With Matt Rutherford left as the sole survivor of that bloodline, we have the opportunity to form a truce and an alliance with him that was not possible with his father."
"With Matt Rutherford left as the sole survivor of that bloodline, what we have is a goddamned monster on our hands," Will corrected him.
"Maybe, but fortunately for us, the monster craves the blood of the guilty," Jesse said. "And as far as Matt knows or ever will know, the guilty are the ones that were caught red handed." Jesse stood up and went to the window in Will's office to look out of it, "None of those dupes will ever give you up and not one of them will ever make it out of there alive."
"That kid that you brought in… the sheer and utter disappointment," Will pointed out.
"Sam Evans," Jesse spoke his name. "It's unfortunate that he broke ranks and went into a battle that was meant to end in a blaze of glory, but now – that's what will have to happen, isn't it? If Evans really was one of us, he wouldn't have tried to overstep me to try to impress you. They'll all be sentenced to death and they'll be happy to die for this and for you, even Sam Evans. I've made sure that he thinks that we think the damned world of him."
"We need to discuss what's next for Matt Rutherford. I don't trust you to just handle him in your own way. I did that before and now, he's still alive and what's worse? He's out of my reach, because of the "heinous nature" of the crime, he will be watched carefully."
"He'll certainly be watched carefully if people think that he had something to do with the murders," Jesse said and looked at Will.
Will smirked back at his budding protégé and said, "Get on the network and make that idea a real option."
Jesse laughed and scoffed, "That's what flunkies are for. I'll call Karofsky."
Matt was perplexed as the angry crowd yelled obscenities and hate at him. Jesse helped him into the house and shook his head, "This is insane," he commented.
"Thanks for letting me stay here, but I guess I'll have to be leaving, soon," Matt said.
"Don't be ridiculous. Where would you even go? You don't have any real friends."
"Anthony's folks said that I can stay with them however long I need to."
"My parents told you the same thing," Jesse reminded him. "Plus, you've known me longer than Anthony."
"Yeah, and until recently I've hated you," Matt said. "I want to thank you for being here for me. This whole thing – I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle it. It's good to just have somebody in my corner." Matt refused to cry in front of Jesse, but the sorrow and sickness were bogged down in his belly. "I know that it's probably hard seeing as how you're so close to Will Schuester and my dad was always trying to take him down."
"Will is a politician. I can't base my friendships on who does or doesn't like him." Jesse said with a smile.
"I hate to ask this, but do you think that he could ever have something to do with anything like this?" Matt felt slightly silly even asking that out loud and the way Jesse's eyes widened, he knew that it sounded just as crazy to him as it did coming out.
"I think that those hateful losers acted alone and out of some horrible rush or thrill or something sick and that they should be punished to the full extent of the law. My father's going to go so far as to actually take on the case, himself," Jesse said. "He hasn't prosecuted anyone in years, but he's made it clear that he wants to see each and every last one of them burn. As for Will, he's promised me that he's going to do everything within his power and influence to help you not have to deal with the backlash that you're getting."
Matt had been accused of possibly having something to do with killing his family and using the fact that there was a growing presence of white supremacy as a scapegoat. His father had pissed off a lot of white supremacists and they were suggesting that Matt used that in order to stage his family's murder. Then, there were those who were angry that Matt had not been killed too. He had not known of all of the hate that his parents had been hiding from them for months, but now – he got that and then some. He could hardly properly mourn, because when he made arrangements, a collected network of Klansmen decided that they would use that time to stage a march, because they had the legal right to do so.
While Matt had always been interested in political science, he intended to go to college for computer programming and engineering. Sometime between losing his entire family, struggling with the media and with an unfounded backlash against him as a victim and against his family (claims that they were provoking hate groups and trying to make the white supremacists mad and unfortunately, they succeeded), and having to miss his graduation, because of fear of some type of racial agitation and having to pick up his diploma, as well as watch a video of all of his friends graduating, instead of doing do with them… Matt became more interested in political science, law, government, social sciences, history and criminal justice.
Matt walked to his car, feeling like someone was behind him and he turned suddenly and saw Aphasia. "Why are you following me?"
"You worried me in there. I know what it's like to be alone in a world that seems to hate you and not give a damn about your deepest pain…"
"If you're going to tell me to let it go, you're wasting your time." He bit his lip and said, "I tried to let it go. I tried to just learn the law, know my rights, and expect them. I tried to expect justice and equality, even though I knew it wasn't complete, I didn't know how incomplete it could be! I went to the families of my family's killers and tried to ask them if they had any idea why their children would want to hurt my family. Most of the families were gracious, and felt bad that their loved one was involved. The most common thought was that they knew that there was a little bit of racism, but never thought that they'd take it so far."
Matt took a breath and said, "I went to visit the Evans' family to ask them if they had any idea why their son would want to hurt my family… His father told me I would know before he would… like I had given his kid reason to be that hateful. I tried to tell him that not only did I not even know his son like that, but I couldn't readily think of anything that I could have done to make anybody, anywhere hate me or my family enough to do something like that. He told me to stay away from his family and to get my black ass off of his property. So, I stayed the hell away from his family and I got my black ass off his property, but I made damned sure that if I couldn't sleep at night, neither could he. Things like that begin at home, and I saw that while some of those guys had families in denial, Dwight Evans knew exactly what his son was and obviously didn't care to let me know that he was the same thing."
Aphasia simply looked into his eyes as he poured all of this out – stuff that she somehow knew that he really never talked to anyone else about. She was digging things out of him that his friends and co-laborers probably always simply let settle, because of what he'd gone through. Matt said, "This is how much the law cares about my plight - I fought having Evans released on parole. Jesse's dad helped. Will Schuester even helped, but the courts allowed Sam Evans parole. I was upset, but I intended to keep an eye on him, to wait for the day that he proved everyone who thought that he deserved another chance wrong. My idea was interrupted, because the day that Sam Evans was released from prison, my families' graves were vandalized. Even their resting place had its sanctity violated! Seven years later!"
"Sam didn't do it, did he?" She asked.
"No, he wasn't even out yet. It's the simple fact that these people do not care who they hurt or offend, well I don't either! All I wanted was justice and if not justice, some answers, and if not some answers, could I have at least had some damned compassion? Do you know how often victim blaming happens to an African American victim of violence or murder? Every. Single. Time." Matt was crying, actually crying in front of her. He wiped his tears and quickly cleaned up, "Stop following me. I'll be in touch," he said and stormed away, lighting a cigarette.
Aphasia sadly watched him walk away, and turned to head for her own vehicle. He was just as lost as she had been when she was attacked and no one cared, but his emotions were eating him alive and she believed that if he kept going, he would implode.
Sam and the others attacked his family... not him. Most people would prefer that you hurt them rather than their family. Matt was one of those people and his counter was to not attack Sam, but to attack the people around Sam, because that's who Sam cares about and because Sam is who he is, Matt doesn't have to touch the people that Sam cares about... the world will do that for him, as long as he keeps Sam on its radar… She worried about Sam, too. She had no idea what the hell was wrong with her lately, maybe the death of Jesse St. James released her from a prison, but the way that she looked at people and things had began to change, and she did not want to see either of these men destroy themselves or each other.