Fate/Far Side: Synchronized Body

Interlude II

Damaged Side

She stared back at him, her red eyes all the clearer by the white she wore.

"It's another bad solution," she was saying, and though Shirou wanted to respond, he found that he could not. "Rin, you're going to have to figure something else out in the long run."

"Y-yeah."

He turned his gaze up to the Tohsaka mage, but it hurt to do so—not physically, but something within him felt like it broke when he did. The lost expression she had was an expression he had seen before on a different figure that, only now, did he see the family resemblance inherent in their features.

Illya withdrew from over him, the sound like muted bells clattering as she did. She looked angelic now, moreso than before, her form more like a white light than a body. Shirou felt as if he should reach out to her, but his body was slow to respond, his mind still too muddied by whatever she had done to give clear commands.

His hand could not reach her, and instead fell to his side, bumping against another. His eyes drew down to the girl lying there, naked and broken, a red ribbon tied to her hair the only thing marking her as the person he once knew. Unlike the rest of them, she seemed to look content, a faint touch of a smile still on her lips—lips now purple like her hair.

"I'm going to close it, now. Sella will help you carry them out."

Shirou managed to cough out a word that might have resembled her name.

"Oh, fully awake, Shirou? That's good." The girl in white smiled and looked like she wanted to reach out for him, but dared not to. "I hoped I could say goodbye."

The cavern was huge, but linear, so he had made it inside without trouble. Trouble from the terrain, at least.

"You are in the way, Shirou Emiya."

It was not a voice he looked forward to hearing. The boy turned to find the priest of the Holy Church before him, the same dispassionate look on the man's face as when they had first met apparent. He cringed. "Kirei Kotomine. What're you doing here?"

"What a foolish question." The man walked past the boy, as if he were of no greater concern, though as Shirou followed deeper into the cavern after the priest, he continued to speak. "The Holy Grail War is, of course, under the supervision of the Church. It is my duty to see it to the end, even if it has been perverted as it has by one of the participants."

"What do you mean?"

There was something like dour amusement in the man's tone, though Shirou could no longer see his face. "I should think it obvious. You met him, didn't you? Zouken Matou."

Shirou thought to the man that had tried to kill him, the one with—that—as if it were his to command. "He's…one of the Masters?"

"I suppose you could say that, though I believe he carries no Command Seals upon his person at this rate." They both naturally fanned out as the cavern grew wider—somehow, despite the fact that everything in his body screamed revulsion toward the priest, Shirou knew that, for now at least, they were on the same side. "He joined late, and has now twisted the function of the Grail to his own ends, it seems."

Shirou had little understanding of how that could be, or what this Zouken's motives were. But the image of the person he had under his control was what spurned him on, the fear of what that meant making him feel sick. "I think Tohsaka and Illya should be in here somewhere."

"Excellent. Perhaps you could stow your great and radiant light so that everyone within ten kilometers does not know of our approach."

Blinking, Shirou looked down to his hands, to where he still held Excalibur from his fight with Gilgamesh. It still radiated golden light, and his thought process had not included why, exactly, a dark cavern should have been well-lit. "But what if we're—"

"I should think it no less than blatantly obvious that swinging a weapon such as that within these walls would be the death of all of us, not just your enemy, Shirou Emiya."

Even if it was true, he really didn't like it how the priest pointed it out.

It was a monstrous thing that Shirou had no words to describe. It looked like a tower, yet not. It looked like it had form, but clearly was without one. It looked alive, yet it seemed dead. A great shadow spilled forth from the top, cloaking it like a black curtain, though still translucent enough to see the shape beneath. It glowed with a kind of light, just enough by which to view the interior of the cave, but not enough to fully illuminate. It was a perfect darkness in that way, just enough to comprehend the terror, but not enough to understand.

At the base of the monstrosity, she stood like a statue—or at least, it was like she stood. The blackness flared out from her waist like some kind of flower, so he could not see her legs. Her head lulled to the side as if she were unconscious, and he shouted her name.

"Sakura!"

Though he moved to do something—anything—about the vision presented before him, a hand reached out of the darkness to grab him at the elbow.

"Shirou," Rin hissed through clenched teeth, "she isn't alone."

He followed her gaze to the figure next to the girl he knew, a slight figure, hunched over by age. The man named Zouken Matou seemed to be gazing upon the darkness, did not seem to have noticed their approach.

"Are you guys alright?" Shirou asked, trying to keep his voice low. He asked on autopilot—when he took note of Rin, he noticed that she was alone. "Where's Illya?"

"Ducked out on me, the brat." Rin gave a helpless gesture. "If you…" she drifted off, then seemed to come to a different thought, her eyes widening. "How the hell did you get away from that goldie anyway?" It seemed as if they might just be there for another hour trying to get straight what all was happening around them and get all the immediate questions they had out into the air.

"It…well, I think—"

Kotomine interrupted them. "The explanation of your exploits, which I am certain are a fascinating tale, must wait."

The darkness before them moved.

It was not exactly like shapes formed. They were not shapes, yet were—they seemed like giants, but within the confines of the cave and with little light by which to make them out, whether they were themselves beings of great stature or the shadows moved in a way to make them appear large was unclear.

"How very rude of you, to intrude upon our territory," the haggard voice of an old man rose to meet them. "I was going to let the Tohsaka and Einzbern brats bear witness, since it is only fair that their houses be represented." Zouken cast a look over his shoulder, the dark spots in his eyes shaking in amusement. "I don't think anyone invited you, however."

Kotomine made a hum of laughter. "As overseer designated by the Church, it is of course part of my duty to be here. What magi have decided means little to us if it is believed our presence is required." The polite back-talk Zouken had started was of course natural to the priest. "Though it is as you say, perhaps it is only correct to allow the members of all three houses bear witness."

"Then you—"

The old man's amusement was cut off as Kotomine continued on as if he had not spoken. "And so, it is my duty to declare that this Holy Grail War has been concluded. The winner of this competition is most assuredly Shirou Emiya."

Zouken lost the look of humor. He hobbled back around to regard the priest and his declared winner with undivided attention. "You have a twisted sense of situational understanding it seems."

Kotomine spread his arms wide and his lips took on a beatific smile. "The winner is the one who stands remaining with a Servant intact. All of you have depleted the 'Servant' aspect, it appears, though it seems not wholly in the case of Shirou Emiya."

The fact that the priest seemed to know a bit about his situation bothered Shirou greatly.

Zouken chuckled, something like a half-wheeze, half-groan sound to normal ears. He motioned to the shadows that had formed, wavering in place like they were cast by flickers of light. "I suppose that could be. So, then, if I kill him, I will be the undisputed winner, isn't that so?"

"Shirou…" Rin grit out again. She was setting herself for an attack.

"As you no doubt have it in your head to save the girl," Kotomine said, "I would suggest you find a way around those creatures. I will deal with Zouken Matou."

As if Shirou needed to be told.

Light vanquished the darkness.

The only way to rid the world of a distortion as great as these shades was a mystery of equal or greater power. Though the use of Excalibur would have brought the cavern down on their heads, a different yet similar weapon with a lesser output would suffice—

And with the prana roaring through him, striking with Caliburn might as well have been like slashing with Excalibur.

The first time took a moment—getting close to the shadowed form was difficult, as it moved with the speed of something much smaller—but Rin managed to deflect a blow that would have swept Shirou aside with one of her spells. He stabbed the golden sword into the familiar and released a torrent of light, momentarily overtaking the dim glow from the Grail itself.

The darkness roared, and was gone.

From beyond the darkness, Zouken scowled. He tilted his head toward them, and the other shadows turned to the boy and his light. By that light, more shadows seemed to appear, barring the way to their goal—

But the momentary focus on Shirou was enough. Kirei Kotomine shot past the familiars, his own blades forming between knuckles as he made for Zouken Matou.

Who in turn raised a hand as if in direction, and a swarm of insects buzzed up from his feet and toward the Executor. The priest charged through the swarm, triplet blades in hand, somehow faster than had he even been using the Reinforcement magecraft Shirou thought he might know. He deflected bugs in the shape of blades with his own weapons, and instead of stabbing at the man amidst the horde—

Punched him right in the chest.

The bug swarm seemed to overtake the old man, turning him into an amorphous blob of scuttling insect bodies. They then broke down like a splash, falling to the ground like water, then reconstituted once again some meters away from the priest, the gibbering sound like laughter following them.

"If you are here for a reason, I would suggest you get to it," Kotomine said loud and clear, not to the one that he fought but the one who had accompanied him in.

Though the priest could not see it, Shirou nodded.

Rin was not as content with Kotomine's suggestion. "Saying it like we had options," she growled.

As if in response to Rin's proclamation, the glow from the Grail intensified and something like the sound of rushing water came. From the mouth of the orb hovering above them spewed forth a jet of darkness that swept down to the ground and splashed over the flowered form that held Sakura and rolled over the feet of the priest. Zouken Matou was not taken in, though, hovering like a swarm of beetles just above the gathering shadow.

"Dammit, get out of my way!" Shirou shouted, slashing into the next shadowy familiar.

With the third familiar destroyed, only five remained—either the collapse of darkness around Sakura or the fact that Zouken was too preoccupied to direct anything seemed to work in their favor. Shirou cut into the fourth shade, then slashed at range from there, a wave of light striking the fifth. Rin exploded another set of gems as the last three attempted to crush them with ribbon-like limbs, blasting apart their tendrils long enough for Shirou to move through them.

They were halted in their advance by the black mud sliding along the cave's floor. Though it seemed that Kotomine had done something to no longer be affected by the spreading heat, both Shirou and Rin knew just by looking that to touch it would be a gamble for them.

An impasse.

At the mouth of the cavern, a figure in white finally made her appearance.

"We can still do something," Shirou said, above the sound of bugs buzzing and the priest chanting some kind of aria.

Rin stared at the boy with a sour look on her face. "I hate it when you say things with that tone. It means you're about to suggest something really really stupid."

"If I'm not out…blast it. Blast it all. I don't care how," Shirou said. "But…I'm not giving up on her yet."

And despite the evil emanating from the wave of power, despite the heat that rolled out like it could sear a body right to the bones in a split second, Shirou dove into the blackness headlong.

It was like burning, but he could still feel. It was like drowning, but he could still breathe. It was like dying, but he still felt the pulse of blood through his veins.

The darkness ate him, then ate him again, teeth mashing into his body and acid burning into his skin, like being chewed up and digested, before the process repeated itself. It pulled at every inch of his body like a quagmire, sought to drag him deeper into torment until his body gave out and his mind was destroyed.

He pulled back, forced his way forward, the radiance kept within him protecting his body from absolute destruction.

He wandered for an eternity, or an instant, his feet dragging like iron weights, his shoulders pushing against the barriers between him and the next thing, until she was there, like him, bathed in this darkness, though unlike him, slowly eaten away by it. It wasn't as if he could recognize her by "sight"—especially since even his own sight kept dissolving away and reemerging as if he were reborn—but he could tell, then, what her presence within was, could never mistake it for anything else. He knew it well, the girl that might as well have been a part of his family, strange and dysfunctional it may be.

"I can…I can save you…"

Through the agony of reaching out to grasp her, past the feeling like she was ash beneath his fingertips, he ripped the light out of his chest and pressed it to her—

That was a mistake.

The moment the light passed through his hands into hers, the pain increased a thousandfold and tore at him from his feet first, wrenching him back like spikes through his ankles. He tore his body from that pain, only to increase the pain as his flesh and bone shattered as he moved, until it felt like a beast raked its claws down his spine, until it felt like the cuts into his skin seeped venom—

Until it felt like that day, so many years ago, when everything had fled from within him as he burned up from the outside.

Still, unlike before, unlike the memory of hearing the cries of pain and anguish, seeking relief, seeking his hand to be freed, he was able to grab hold of the other person, able to force the burning red meat of his skinless hand to take hers—

Blades formed in his palm, impaling her wrist, the only grip he had upon her.

He pulled until he could pull no longer.

What he pulled out was already gone.

The residual power that had been in Avalon had healed her body—but he found he could not pour energy into it himself. The prana from Saber still coursed through his body first, and he had no way of exchanging it from the outside into something else before running it through his circuit.

And even if he could, he was in no condition to in the first place.

His body had melted. It was something less than human, no longer the form of skin and shadows over bone and muscle. Rin would tell him later that he looked like something out of an anatomy book, all red and boiled, his skin melting away and his organs a mass of ugly shapes beneath charred bone. The fact that he still breathed, still kept a heartbeat, seemed impossible itself when his organs did not even seem to be affixed to a central system anymore or kept within the confines of skin tissue.

She was a perfect being in juxtaposition, a girl with smooth, unblemished skin, yet unlike him, with no injuries by which she could have ended—she did not breathe, did not see, did not live.

"Step back," a childish voice said, though not addressing him.

He could hardly register the feeling of something next to him move aside, of another something moving up to take its place.

"Get that golden thing back into him. It might be the only thing that makes this work."

I may not have taken life, but I am responsible for lives lost. He had said that to Saber, and it once more rang true in his head.

In that place between wakefulness and sleep, he could feel two things within his head.

One spoke like poison injected into his body. You are cursed forever, even with this thing you keep inside of you.

One spoke like the sound of a smile, the look of laughter, the touch of a kind gaze. You are given a moment, a single reprieve.

The first reminded him of the truth. You failed once more to save a life capable of smiling back at you.

The second told him a lie. You saved me every moment we were together.

Both had the voice of one he knew.

Had known.

Would never forget.

The priest had defeated the old man, but had fallen into the darkness in turn. Though his body did not crumble away, it could not raise a hand to stop what was to come.

The girl in white spoke to the boy with the ethereal body.

"Goodbye, Shirou. If we ever meet again in another life…maybe I'd like to be your real big sis then."

One after another, he was unable to save any of them.

Ones who cried for salvation from flames.

A king who believed herself inhuman.

A hero who laid his fears bare.

The girl with the smile that saved him every day.

The girl who had come for revenge on him, and instead—

—and instead, they saved him.

The priest had called him the "winner."

If Kiritsugu Emiya had been the "winner" of the Holy Grail War before, Shirou understood now what "winning" entitled.

"I think…I need to go."

Rin knew he wasn't talking about simply leaving her room.

She had a feeling that other men might have looked away when saying this, unable to face what was being said and who it was being said to. But Shirou sat there, the dull look in his golden eyes something of a mirror to her own. It was probably one of the few things that kept it from getting embarrassing, since the bedsheet barely covered them both.

"Where to?" she asked.

He gave a helpless shrug. "Out of town, at least. Now that school is over…shouldn't be a problem."

Rin nodded, slowly, aligning what she knew of his thought process into the inevitable conclusion. "Do you…are you going to come back?"

"Yeah." Shirou made sure to say so emphatically; the look she gave him demanded so. "I think I just need to clear my head. I'm not going going." He cocked his head to the side. "Weren't you planning on London, though? I mean, it shouldn't matter anyway, right?"

The girl looked away, a bit of her old haughtiness returning. Though not every bit—her chin still didn't quite raise in the same way and her frown was marred by the relief in her eyes. "I…people are probably going to probe around for what happened, still, even now. I mean, I've had to turn away one or two magi who have come from the Association to investigate. I don't really want to leave the town, uh, undefended." She did clench the sheet to her chest tighter, bunching it up in hand. "I just…I was thinking of putting that off for a little bit too, you know?"

"Tohsaka…"

"Make sure to keep in touch, okay?" she said, fixing him with an even stare.

He gave a slight grin at that. "I doubt I'd survive returning if I didn't. Fuji-nee would kill me."

"Yeah." Rin gave a grin of her own. "And be ready for training when you do. I'm going to fix you right up as a magus if it's the last thing I do."

"On second thought, maybe staying abroad would be a good idea…"

She hit him with a pillow.

Shirou clenched his fists as he waited for the train. The transfer from normal body, to partial-ether body, to entirely-doll body had left him feeling a little strange, a little out of place. Even if he looked the same, there was a sort of sense to it, a disconnect, that he was still trying to get accustomed to. Rin had explained that his existence was somewhat akin to a Servant, so the detachment he felt might resemble what someone like Saber or Archer might experience. Almost like how Servants had differing levels of ability from when they were alive.

With the warmth that hung from around his neck, though, he was certain it was in the opposite direction. It was a strange, symbiotic relationship unlike that of a master to a familiar in that he certainly had to generate prana and infuse it into Saber's presence for her own prana to fire up, but at the same time what she generated actually returned back to his body to suffuse his existence. One literally could not exist without the other. And with the fires like a dragon's breath roaring through him, it really felt like he was actually stronger than before. His body was not his own because it was somehow, in at least the regard of ability, vastly superior.

He reached up, brushed his fingers along the ribbon that held everything to him.

Make use of this opportunity, he told himself. If he was going to somehow gain something, once again, from the suffering of others, he had to keep that in his vision.

Rapid beeping from the train alarm assaulted his ears. He grabbed his pack and moved up the platform as the cars whooshed in.

Interlude II, Damaged Side, End