Morning came to quickly, My second day of no sleep 'God I must look worse then a walker' . I quickly changed into my spare black jeans a black tank top and my black vans and walked out of my tent, noticing I was the first one up. I looked back into the tent and saw Seth asleep, I didn't want to be alone, not after what happened to Aiden, I kept seeing His lifeless body every time I closed my eyes. Seth and I didn't do anything of course we just needed each other for comfort. He stayed up most of the night silently crying until he fell asleep, crying for Aiden, of course I wouldn't tell anyone about it. I sighed and went to Aiden's Grave, When I got there I saw his helmet and Dog-tags placed there, marking where my friend laid. I fell to my knees, tears fell down my face as I stared, Emotions Rushed through me, Despair, we lost many people and we have no idea if the CDC will be of help to us. Anger, I was supposed to protect them and I couldn't, I failed my team because I was to damn weak. Remorse, If I stayed Aiden would be right next to me. Shame, I put down my friend and now everyone is afraid of me, they will not be able to trust me, I will never get them to understand. Guilt, Aiden is gone because of me. Fear, What if the group kicks me out?, What if Seth blames me too, What if Daryl hates me?. That last emotion and thought made me freeze 'why would I care what Daryl thinks? Why would I care If he hates me? Do I like him?' I thought to myself staring as the sun rises.

I heard footsteps and saw Rick, He was a mess and probably didn't sleep well either. I saw him look at me and I looked away, I saw how the others looked at me Fear, anger, disgust I didn't need to see it from him to. Him, Seth and Daryl I couldn't stand it if they looked at me like that. Rick Reminded me of my older brother, Seth was my best friend, and Daryl I felt I had a connection with him like he would understand me the most beside Seth. "hey" he said softly, I frowned at how cautious he sounded, scoffing mentally 'Probably afraid I'm going to aim the pistol at his head next' I thought bitterly. "you think I'm a monster, because I shot my best friend" I said not bothering to beat around the bush. I heard him shift uncomfortably probably surprised, I refused to look at him. "I never said that Erika- " I cut him off "but you were thinking it Rick, yesterday everyone was looking at me with fear, Shane with anger and Disgust as if I wasn t even human, and you...you wouldn't even look at me Rick". I turned to him my gaze cold and sharp as my tone. "As you said Rick I have done so much for you guys already, I was ready to go back for Merle even though he and I don't 'play nice' , I was ready to take an arrow in the face for T-Dog, I Ran to help Daryl even though I was injured, I refused to leave and stayed to rescue Glenn. I even gave you some of my weapons to do so and for what? For the group to eventually turn their back on me too?, so tell me Rick Have I not earned my keep, Have I not proven my loyalty and trust?" He looked at me after running a hand through his hair in embarrassment "you have" I stared at him "then why are they afraid the next time I draw my gun it will be at them? I watch out for others if they watch my back and in order to survive we need to rely on trust!" I said raising my voice at the end "I'm sorry you feel that way Erika, I promise you I will talk to them". I looked into his eyes and saw He was telling the truth. I sighed, my head now throbbing from the cut, lack of sleep and I m sure the aggravation doesn't help. I nodded and turned to walk back to camp, I looked back for a second "Just to let you know Rick, It's not your fault, I Don't blame you at all" he looked at me for a moment then nodded. "thank you Erika I'm sorry" I waved it off "there's nothing to forgive" He smiled and I returned it.

As I walked back to camp I saw everyone was still asleep, well except for Daryl who was cleaning his arrows. 'crap just my luck' I kept walking pretending he wasn't there, sat down and stared at the lake just thinking to myself. Then I heard footsteps behind me, I didn't turn around, I couldn't face the man the footsteps belonged to. "the hell is wrong with you?, stop your moping round, we don t need a girl fucking crying all the damn time, He's dead get over it" Daryl grunted, I turned to him shocked then I realized I was silently crying, I quickly wiped my eyes "excuse me? If you haven't notice the group doesn't trust me, And your saying get over it?" He scoffed "who the hell cares if they trust you or not, as long as your not useless they wont leave your sorry ass behind" I stared at him unable to read his expression. ""and what about you Daryl? Do you care? Are you afraid you'll be the next one I shoot?" He rolled his eyes crossing his arms in a tough guy pose purposely avoiding the caring question "I ain't afraid of nothing especially not you, couldn't kill me even if ya tried" I stood up my anger rising "That's the thanks I get for helping your ass in the alley? I should've let them kick the crap out of you" He scoffed "I didn't need your help, I could've handled it fine by my self" I walked closer to him, sadly I was a few inches shorter then him so it wasn't very intimidating but I didn't back down "You are such an asshole, I cant believe I even considered you as a friend" He smirked loving the fact that he was pissing me off "well that was your mistake" I glared at him wanting to smack him and wipe that smirk off his handsome face, 'God I cant believe I actually like the jerk...Wait what the hell am I saying?' "You know what Daryl, why don t you take your arrow and shove it up your ass" I said storming past him. Walking into the Tent, I saw Seth awake and fully dressed.

I flopped down on the floor and let out a frustrated sigh. "stupid jerk" I mumbled, Seth chuckled "Daryl piss you off?" I nodded frowning at the ceiling "Don t let him get to you, Erika I think its his way of showing he cares" Seth said smirked, I snorted "right, and what do you know?" His smirk was still on his face "I know you got the hots for him" I felt my face heat up "your imagining things, the heat must've gone to what's left of your brain" He laughed softly pointing at my face "right the same heat that made your face all red?" I rolled my eyes at his childish behavior. "Whatever I do not like him" Seth didn't believe me, Heck I didn't even believe me. "Liar! Admit it you like him!" I glared at him "Do not" He smirked "Do To" this continued for about 10 minuets "ALRIGHT! Fine I admit it I do like him" I grumbled not happy bout the confession "HA I KNEW IT!" Seth gloated I rolled my eyes again. I didn't ruin his happiness though "yeah yeah yeah, lets go everyone should be waking up now" He nodded and helped me up then we exited the tent. I saw that everyone was looking at me guiltily, well Daryl looked at me then looked away. 'Rick must've talked to them'. I walked over not speaking to anyone and packed my stuff together, Morales mentioned that he and his family were leaving. Rick and Shane gave them a gun and a box of ammo, which caused Daryl to stop biting his nails and scoff. We said our goodbyes, they apologized and everything, I just nodded my head. We all decided to take off towards the CDC, Seth and I visited Aiden's grave one last time and then followed. Seth drove the army jeep while I rode my motorcycle, I Loved the feeling of riding It felt like you were free like you had no care in the world. I couldn't help but have a little fun, I sped up passing Seth, Amy and T-Dog. I drove up next to Daryl's truck, causing him to smirk when he saw me. I Did a wheelie and then sped off, laughing as I saw Daryl chuckle and Seth laugh. I Slowed down to a stop when I saw the RV over heat. 'uh just great!' I got off my motorcycle taking of my helmet walking over to the van. "I said I needed the one from your cube van" Dale said, Rick adjusted his hat, "can you jury-rig it?" Dale looked at the van then back to Rick "That all its been its more duct tape than hose... and I m all out of duct tape" I sighed in frustration, Shane saw something up ahead said it might be a gas station. Then Jacqui came out saying that Jim couldn't take much more of the trip and Rick went in to check on him, I frowned 'poor Jim, what are we going to do?' after a few minutes Rick came back out, I would be lying if I said the expression on his face didn't worry me. "Jim wants us to leave him here, It s what he said he wants" Carol couldn't believe what he was saying "and He's Lucid?" I rubbed my eyes and sighed taking out my knife I started flipping it. Seth frowned at me He knew about my habit, sometimes it was out of fun, sometimes it was out of boredom but moments like this, it was out of nervousness. He knew I felt helpless, and knew it aggravated me. He put his hand on my shoulder reassuringly I looked at him and gave him a small forced smile, and I didn't notice someone frowning at the small friendly gesture.

I heard Rick and Shane carry Jim out of the RV and placed him under a tree. I was still flipping my knife, I didn't want to look at how messed up Jim was, It made me keep thinking that could've been Aiden. Then I noticed something, I didn't have my knife anymore, I looked up and saw Daryl holding my hunting knife, He must've caught it when I wasn't paying attention. We just stared at each other not saying a word, all of a sudden he handed me the knife back, no sarcastic remark no insult nothing. I blinked taking the knife and sheathing it. He then turned and walked towards the others silently telling me to follow, which I did. As We all gathered saying goodbye I was behind Daryl who looked at Jim and nodded his head. It was my turn now as I looked at him with sympathy "I don t know what to say" I muttered Jim chuckled then groaned in pain. "Well Goodbye would be a start...usually the weather is a great pick up line" He said weakly, I smiled at his attempt to joke "Goodbye Jim I'm sorry This happened to you" Jim shook his head "Dont be you cant change what has happened, at least Aiden didn't have to go through this, or end up Like my family" I looked at the ground feeling guilty when I thought of Aiden "It isn't your fault, You had to do what had to be done, He didn't die in pain Erika, you re a smart person So are you smart enough to know it wasn't your fault?" he asked sweat dripping from his face. I bit my lip, thinking about his question then nodded my head, He was right. Smiling at him I kissed His cheek, frowning on the inside at how Hot he felt "thank you Jim, your right I need to let go of the guilt" He nodded and smirked "you better go, Daryl is waiting for you, It wouldn't be wise to let your love interest wait, not one that s short tempered like him" I blushed frowning at him, I turned toward the RV and sure enough Daryl was watching me with his arms crossed and of course frowning. I turned back toward Jim "is it really that noticeable that I like him?" I muttered still blushing Jim laughed obviously hearing me "No don t worry, your secrets safe...I'll take it to my grave" I frowned at the last ironic statement then smiled "thanks Jim for everything...goodbye" He smiled nodded, I turned around and walked toward the RV. I walked past Daryl who was staring at me lost in thought. I waved my hand in front of his face, grabbing his attention, "common Lets go" I smiled walking off not giving him time to respond. I started to walk back towards the group when Everything started to spin and my head started to pound. I closed my eyes as I started getting light headed. "Erika you ok?" I heard someone say, I couldn't tell who it was, Their voice was all distorted. I opened my eyes and Saw a blurred version of Dale, I quickly closed my eyes feeling like I was going to throw up from being so dizzy. I saw the group turn their attention toward me as I tried say I was Fine but as I open my mouth I started to fall Back. I heard Seth shout "ERIKA" The last thing I felt before I blacked out was two arms catch me right before I hit the ground.

I Opened my eyes and noticed I was in the RV. I sat up slowly causing a cold wash cloth fall from my forehead. My headache was gone for the moment and I no longer felt nauseas, 'Thank God' I turned toward the hallway when I hear footsteps, I Saw Rick, looking concerned yet relieved. "your awake...that s good" He said I nodded then slowly asked "what happened?" Rick sat on the chair next to the bed he wiped his face "you fainted...been out a good 10 min... you uh got a minor concussion" I winced when he said that 'shit now the groups gonna ditch me for being weak' I took a deep breath "how did I get in here?" Rick looked away then looked back when "You fell back, Daryl caught you seeing how he was closest, T-Dog told us this happened before... why didn't you tell us" I looked out the window seeing that we were in the same place. 'Probably waiting for Shane and T-Dog to get back' "I don t like being the weak link Rick, and as far as telling you when we got back to camp The group still doesn't fully trust me, no matter what you said to them, I don t need to give them a reason to ditch me" Rick frowned and sighed "no one is going to ditch you Erika, you as important to this group as anyone else, They will trust you Erika they just need time, they were actually worried bout you even Daryl kept looking over at the RV" I pondered over what he said for a moment then something clicked "wait DARYL carried me in here and didn't drop me?" I asked wide eyed causing Rick to laugh "yeah we were shocked as well, Seth wanted to carry you, but Daryl ignored him and walked right past him carrying you into the RV" I looked out the window at Daryl who was sitting on a stump cleaning his arrows again. I shook my head to get rid of the blush that was rising to my cheeks 'What about not considering me a friend? Why the sudden change in heart' I turned to Rick when he started speaking again "Shane and T-Dog went to look for a hose they should be back soon" I nodded and went to get out of bed wincing at the pain in my back. Rick tried to make me sit back down saying I needed rest. "No Rick, whether you like it or not I m getting up" I said standing up, my voice was stern. He sighed and wiped his face knowing there was no arguing with me. "fine but if something happens your ass is right back in here" I smiled and patted his head like a dog "Good boy, you get a cookie" He frowned but then chuckled and I turned and walked out of the RV. Daryl looked at me and frowned but didn't say anything. Then I heard footsteps behind me "What the fuck are you doing out of bed?" I winced, knowing who the voice belonged to and turned around facing a not to pleased Seth. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair "I'm Fine Speed let it go" he stood firm arms crossed over his chest glaring at me. "No, I'm not letting it go you fainted...that's not fine" I looked at him crossing my arms challengingly "I Said let it go" He frowned jaw clenched his anger clearly rising, things were going to get ugly real quick.

"No... your hurt you need to rest...don t be such a fucking idiot" he growled walking toward me, stopping directly in front of me, I glared at him "I do not need rest, so get that through your thick skull.. ..I told you I'm not a weak little girl, So Stop treating me like one. That is an order, Remember who is in charge soldier" He scoffed "OH COME OFF IT ERIKA...If you haven t noticed THE WORLD ENDED AND WENT TO SHIT!...there are no more ranks, there is no more army, no more platoon, no more Aiden. there is only us and survival so don t give me this crap about who is in charge, Aiden Is gone Because YOU ORDERED US TO STAY AD PROTECT THEM...ITS YOUR FUCKING ORDERS THAT GOT AIDEN BIT...YOUR ORDERS FUCKING KILLED HIM!" My eyes widened and I took a step back from him. He blamed me, I knew the others probably did but I never thought Seth would. He obviously regretted it as soon as the words left his lips because he went wide eyed "Erika I-I didn't mean-" I felt tears threatened to fall and I turned and walked away not bothering to give him time to explain. I saw the whole group watching us, including Shane and T-Dog who must've just gotten here, But I didn't look at any of them... I just walked right past. I stopped when I reached my motorcycle and looked through the pouch on my bike I grabbed a bottle of pain pills for my head and back.

Popping those in my mouth I sighed sitting on the ground and started flipping my knife again. I Refused to cry and tried to take deep breaths to calm myself. I looked up when I heard someone walk over and stared blankly at Daryl. I put away the knife and stood up "thanks for carrying me into the RV. I promise you will never have to do it again". I said my tone flat, He frowned and glared at me "stop it" He spat I looked at him confused "stop what?" His glare hardened at my question. "Stop this shit bout feeling sorry for yer self, ain't gonna change a damn thing" I stared at him confused "what do you expect me to do Daryl? Why do you even care?" he just watched me then looked over at the group then back at me. "its non of my business... hell I don t know why I even care but you lost one person already... ya really want to lose another? If anything you had the guts to do what these dumb asses couldn't" I was shocked as I thought of what he just asked "No I don t, but I'm not ready to face him yet, I need some time" Daryl didn't say anything at first then nodded his head and turned to walk away, I quickly went to stop him "Daryl!" he stopped and turned around. "Thank you... for everything" he looked at his feet then back up, obviously uncomfortable. I smirked, I ve been around here long enough to know when this man got uncomfortable he lashed out. I was right when he glared at me shifting his crossbow "I didn t do nothing, just don t need a whiny brat complaining bout shit that don t even matter, don t need to babysit get yer shit together or leave" I rolled my eyes and smiled "sure Daryl, whatever you say" he scoffed and walked away. I smirked as I heard him grumble to himself, something about 'stupid women' and 'rather been shooting zombies' laughing I turned facing my motorcycle putting on my helmet when I saw we were getting ready to leave and mounted my bike. I took a deep breath, the one good thing about joining the army was it hardened you, teaching you when to be hard as stone, to become unfeeling so no one could read you, and that exactly what I did. I revved my bike once before taking off, following the RV towards the CDC, hoping for a miracle.