Chapter 3

Dean wrapped a towel around his naked body covering his lower half,panting heavy as he tried to figure out what exactly happened last night,he looked at the watch on his wrist,it read 4.35am.

Returning to the room,Castiel was still asleep. Watching over him,he frowned shaking his head with dissapproval,knowing how the drug made you feel, it troubled him not knowing exactly why Cas would do this to himself.

"I wish you would just talk to me."

Cas had always been troubled,he had been bullied as a child for being different,and his family were a bunch of nutcases,or so he was told,he didn't really like talking about his family,he never really understood why. I guess he was no different,his family where never around,his parents had split when he was about 5 so his dad was left to look after both him and his little brother Sam,it wasn't an easy ride he was alone,moving from town to town but he got through it,it wasn't until they had settled in Boston that everything changed,thats where he met Castiel and his life would change forever.

Morning had broken,the sun seeping through the cracks in the curtains. Dean sat watching lame tv,well he wasn't exactly watching it,it was more like background but it gave him some sort of excuse to be pretend to be doing something.

Castiel groaned turning over onto his back as he stirred "hmm morning sunshine,sleep well?"he grinned.

"No"he answered bluntly.

"N'aww was it all a little too much for ya?"he teased putting his head to the side "come on you loved how it made you feel."

Dean rubbed his lips together "I am never doing that again Cas,it tripped me out,i've spent most of the morning throwing up,seriously never again. It was a one time thing anyway right?"

Castiel stared at him giving him his best fake smile,it wasn't that easy atleast not for him,but he wasn't going to tell Dean that "right"

Dean smiled weakly "good"he let out a small sigh checking the time again "I best get myself ready,i've got a lesson in an hour,and I need to stop off at the library beforehand wanna tag along?"

"I'd rather not hang out with geekboy thank you very much"he smirked "but i'll catch up with you later yeah,maybe grab some lunch?"he suggested.

"Sounds great."he quickly slipped on his favourite Led Zepplin t shirt,then a pair of jeans.

"Nice ass."

Dean rolled his eyes "not that I don't appreciate you perving,behave yourself"he grinned leaning in to give him a kiss "i'll see you later okay?"

Castiel frowned sitting up,staring into space for a moment "Dean?"

"HMM?"

Dean turned to face him.

Castiel laughed weakly "I forgot to say...I love you."

Dean frowned raising an eyebrow,getting the impression that's not what he wanted to say but let it slide "I love you too,i'll see ya."

Castiel smiled weakly rubbing his sunken eyes,sniffing needing another fix already. He lay back letting out a relaxed sigh pulling out his mobile calling someone.

"It's me...I know I shouldn't be calling none of you really care but...I just need to know."

"Cas...you can't call here anymore,please,stop calling,and texting,please."

"I need to speak to you all,especially her...please,you have to give me something,i'm family."

"I can't Cas,please stop this,she doesn't want to see you."

"I'm her flesh and blood...I don't care...I have to see her,I have to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? What the fuck are you talking about now huh? We've had enough of you and your mind games It's over Castiel,respect her wish,she doesn't want to see you,you're dead to us Castiel,leave us alone."

Castiel heard the line go dead on the other end,he let the phone fall from his hand ,turning over onto his side he curled up feeling his whole body going numb.

"I soon will be"he mumbled to himself.

Dean high fived one of his mates and grinned "see you tomorrow yeah?"he grinned.

"OOOH Dean before you go,you and Cas coming to the halloween party tonight?"

Dean grinned giving him a nod"sure thing Ash,we'll see ya there at 8."

"Sweet-"he high fived his buddy "dude its going to be so awesome,what are you going to dress up as?"he beamed patting his back.

Dean raised an eyebrow finding his overly enhusiasm a tad uncomfortable "Santa Claus?"he laughed "I don't know dude but I promise you it will be awesome."

Ash smiled brightly at him motioning him a thumbs up "well cool bro,I guess I'll see you tonight."

"Cool,yeah see you later"

He let out a small sigh heading out of campus towards his dorm room a small smile on his face,he was actually looking forward to tonights party,he needed to blow off steam and spending the night surrounded by Cas and his friends seemed like a perfect idea.

He typed in the security number in the keypad giving him access to his hall and smiled sweetly at a couple "night guys" he told them,he headed up the stairs quickly,hoping Cas was in the room,so he could 'fuck his brains out'. It had been a very long day he wanted nothing more than to be in the arms of his man.

"Dean thank god you're back,i've been trying to ring you all day,where the hell you been huh?"

Dean raised an eyebrow "uh..well this college,you come here to learn,thats where i've been,sorry If i'm actually taking my future seriously."he grinned "Chill out Chuck,it's all good i'm here now."

Chuck folded his arms,not impressed by his sarcasm "Dean, i'm being serious,something's wrong with Cas,he's not left his room since you left this morning and I-I heard something,it was like an explosion or something went off in there,dude i'm really worried about him."

Dean frowned,amusement turning into worry "What?"

Without question he charged up to the room going to open the door,it was locked "Cas...Cas it's Dean open up...dammit Cas open the damn door."he wasn't getting a response which frustrated him even more.

"Stand back"he instructed Chuck using all his strength to kick down the door.

Chuck gulped stepping back towards his room "erm i'll just leave you two alone."he hated confrontation,he quickly disspeared into his own room leaving Dean to deal with Cas.

Dean licked his lips stepping inside,the whole room surrounded by darkness,he reached his hand over towards the light switch and turned on the light,horrified by the sight he saw.

"Son of a bitch" he looked around the room the walls covered in words,none of which made any sense to him,the floor blankted with torn up pieces of paper.

Feeling the bitter sting of tears filling up in his eyes he found the love of his life in the middle of of the bed sat up and facing away from him.

"C-Cas?"

Castiel stared into space,lost in his own little paradise "she's singing again,its beautiful,it's almost tragic,it's like she needs me,she wants me to join her."

Dean bit his lower lip nervously looking around the room,the words 'wasted','worthless' and 'I've got nothing left to lose' catching his attention on the four surrounding walls,Cas was more messed up than he realised.

"Cas talk to me,please i'm begging you here what's going on?"

Castiel held his arms out to him reaching out to him a forced smile on his face "you're so beautiful" he slowly pulled himself up tugging at his shirt pulling him down so he was beside him,he leaned into him inhaling his musky scent,he said nothing more,instead he slowly wrapped his arms around Dean.

Dean felt his heart breaking,the state that Cas was in terrified him,holding his boyfriend in a comforting embrace,he slightly pulled away when he noticed Castiel trembling.

"Shit Cas your shaking-"

He didn't know what to do,how to help him,he was just a kid after all,he didn't know how to handle this "Cas..please-"he broke down,tears just flowing this all becoming too much now "please just tell,oh god please,you're scaring me."

"Hold me...just hold me."