WOOW so I am back,finally,sorry for the delay,its been pretty hectic over here. I hope you guys still stick around,again I want to thank everyone who has fsvourited and reviewed,it means alot,now without futherado,new chapter for you :)

Chapter 7

"Shit...SHIT SHIT,SHIT" Dean muttered to himself as he searched high and low on campus,he'd figured that is where Cas would return to,but he was wrong.

Cas was nowhere to be seen. He tried his cell again for like the trillionth time.

"Come on dammit,pick up"he wanted to kick himself for not going after him at the hospital.

The line went dead.

"FUCK"

He tried again,not giving up hope.

"Cas this is the millionth voice message i've left you...please..please"he emphasized "talk to me,I just need to know if you're okay man,please call me back."he hung up frustrated.

Returning to his dorm room,he turned on the light the writing on the walls catching his attention once more,examining every detail,every word calling out to him,it definately made him understand now exactly what was going on inside Castiels' mind.

He sighed slumping himself down on the bed spreading out,staring up at the ceiling in deep thought, he had a moment to himself letting all his feelings wash over him before it hit him.

He quite pulled himself up heading right back out the door in dash

"Can't talk Ash i'm in a hurry" he yelled passed his hippy friend.

Ash raised an eyebrow as Dean shot past him like a superman on crack"erm okay dude,catch ya later."

Dean pushed past everyone muttering sorries and excuse mes to passerbys giving them all sympathetic smiles.

Grabbing a taxi from campus(he couldn't be bothered with his car),he headed off to his destination.

Castiel lay propped up against a tombstone fiddling with a piece of fabric hanging from his coat,enjoying the piece and quiet of the graveyard,it gave him time to think.

"I know now...why this is happening to me,why pretty soon i'll be gone,your the one,the only one father who understands what i'm going through."he breathed in "I'm chosen,for something better right?" he gulped gripping the fabric tightly "I'm chosen by god for great-,a higher purpose...I know now to embrace it,to let her take me"he removed a needle from his coat pocket,pulling up his sleeve"so why wait,why should I suffer when It can all just end right here...you understand don't you father,thats why you left us?"

Dean approached hsi destination paying the driver and got out of the car,walking through the rusty rought iron gates hearing the creak as he pushed it open,getting an errie feeling as he walked along the sunken grass surrounded by tombstones.

Castiel closed his eyes and smiled"I miss you everyday,I thought you were being selfish,taking your own life but now I get it,now I see,you weren't trying to leave us,you just wanted to end your pain,I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn't care."

Licking his lips he injected the poison inside him enough to make the pain stop.

"Cas...don't-"

Castiel turned his head holding his arms out to Dean "shes singing to me again...can't you hear it?"

Dean faked his best smile taking Castiels hand and simply nodded "I hear her Cas...I hear her" slipping down beside him he wrapped his arms around his lover."It's going to be okay Cas...I promise you it's all going to be okay."

That was a lie,it defiantely wasn't going to be okay,and the more he thought about it the more he knew. The end was coming.

3 months later

"YOU CAN ALL GO TO HELL...ALL OF YOU...YOU PROMISED ME IT WAS GOING TO BE OKAY REMEMBER,YOU PROMISED ME."

Dean ducked expecting something to be thrown at him "Cas please...they're trying their best,they can't work miracles."

Castiel glared up at Dean "easy for you to say jackass,you're not the one with the timebomb in your head."

The doctor looked between the two of them "Which is why you need to relax Mr Novak,the chemotherapy didn't work,but theres other options."

Dean took his hand supportively giving him an encouraging smile only to be rejected by him.

Castiel placed his hands on the chair rests pulling himself up "No...no I'm done,I'm too tired."

"Cas-?"

Castiel gritted his teeth "JUST BACK OFF...ALL OF YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" he groaned feeling his insides doing somersaults,he clenched his stomach,feeling a sharp pain stab him repeatively in the head. "stop it...stop it."

Dean looked to the doctor having no idea what was going on "doc whats wrong with him?"he asked panicked.

The doctor calmly approached him "come back inside,we can discuss this further...please."

"I think I'm going to throw up."

The doctor nodded "theres a restroom right over there,take aslong as you need."

Dean tipped his head down,he was used to it by now,after all the treatment he had been recieving,he had seen all the after effects. He took a deep breath waiting on Castiel returning,looking up at the doctor.

"Doc...he's not getting better and I don't know what to do,I dont think I can watch him change anymore,he's...he's different and yeah okay I get it,he's dying but...I want him back,I want my Cas back...please...I need him."

Castiel hugged the toilet bowl choking back the tears as he felt his head pounding,all he wanted was the sound of his savior serenading him into a deep permanent sleep "just take me now...please..I can't-" he held onto the ceramic slowly pulling up his weak, frail matter,groaning catching his reflection in the mirror. He could hardly recognise himself anymore,this image standing before him wasn't him,it angered him to his very core.

"I understand your concern Mr Winchester,but we are doing everything we can,sometimes these cases they just don't work out."the doctor licked her lips tapping her pen on her clipboard a couple of times before speaking once more "You prepare yourselffor whats to come,consult his family once more,I know you tried to reach out to them once before,but I strongly suggest you try again,also for the sake of Castiel,I think its best we transfer him to hospice,it'll be the best place for him."

Dean felt his lips quivering,trying his best not to cry again,he was so sick of crying. He rubbed his chin subconciously shaking his head "So what? He can die alone in a hospital bed?" He clenched his jaw "No...I promised him that I would stay with him till the very end and theres no way in hell i'm letting him waste away in a place like that."

Dean glanced up as the latch became unhinged Cas appearing back.

"Hey buddy how you feeling?"

Castiels eyes glistened brightly with tears forcing a smile "fantastic"he muttered sarcastically"can we go now?"

Dean glanced over at the doctor then to Castiel giving him a nod"sure we can,just need to get a few things from the doc here then we're good to go."

"Fine..i'll wait by the car-"

Dean pulled himself up "Woaw..wait you're not going by yourself,i'll help you."

Castiel shot Dean the biggest glare "dammit Dean..I'm not completely useless you know I can walk a few feet to damn carpark."he stiffly made his way out of the room,every movement illustrating that he was struggling.

"Cas...wait i'll be right there,just hang on."

"NO...BACK OFF... I CAN DO IT."

The doctor wrote out a prescription for him handing it to Dean "get him to take these,it will help with the pain,get him home,and honestly think about what I said."

Dean took the note knowing it was the right thing to do but,he couldnt bear the thought of not being by his side 24/7. He slipped the precreption in his pocket hurrying out the door after Cas,he slipped an arm around him helping him out "hey I got you,its okay."

Castiel grapsed hold of Deans's shirt,his comfort blanket and smiled innocently resting his head into Deans chest "I'm sorry I yelled at you."he choked on the verge of tears.

"It's okay Cas,I understand."

Castiel smiled closing his eyes not letting Dean go,he inhaled his scent letting out a little chuckle wanting to hold onto this moment for as long as he could "Thank you."

Dean wrapped his arms tightly around him for aslong as it took them to reach the impala,helping Cas get inside he then got himself in the drivers seat,driving off to the pharmacy then back to Campus.