Reviewers equal amazing. :) Cause reviews make me so happy.
A/N: I kinda feel like it's starting off slow but it's gonna pick up soon I promise. Next chapter is gonna be in Ashleys POV yay. So you'll get to see how all this is affecting her. So yeah, guess that's it.
Enjoy...
Chapter 3
"Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here to the moment I'm gone. You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much, then to drown in your love and not feel your rain." Sarah Bareilles blast through my speakers.
I don't know why I continue to torture myself.
Sad music makes me feel better.
At least that's what I'm telling myself.
It's been a whole month now.
A whole month without Ashley and I think I'm effectively driving myself insane.
I can't eat.
I can't sleep.
I just need to feel her here.
To touch her.
"I love you." Ashley whispers in my ear.
I look at her, her words catching me off guard.
We're laying on the bed at her house watching TV.
My head resting comfortably in the crook of her neck.
"Really?" I ask.
I knew she meant it though.
She wouldn't have said it if she didn't.
"Yeah. Really." She said smiling down at me.
I laid my head back down without saying anything.
"You love me too right Spence?" She questioned, sitting up a little on the bed.
I loved her.
Of course I did.
How could I not.
I just wanted her to squirm a little.
"Spence?"
I smiled before replying.
"Of course I love you baby." I said pushing her back down and laying my head down on her chest.
"Then why'd you-" I put my finger on her lips shushing her.
"I love the sound of your heartbeat." I say randomly.
"Spencer, you're being weird."
The truth was...
I didn't wanna fall for her.
I didn't wanna love her.
Cause at any moment I could lose her.
Her dad could get re-stationed and she'd have to go to.
I knew all this.
But yet, I couldn't help how she made me feel.
I couldn't help that every time I saw her I wanted to kiss her.
It was like there was an unstoppable force pulling us together and no matter how hard we tried to not fall for each other... we failed.
I blame fate.
Or destiny.
Or maybe gravity.
Fuck it I just blame something.
"How are you not tired of listening to this bitch?" Madison asked as she walked in my room turning it down.
"She gives me so much life." I tell her as I bury my head in my pillow.
I really don't feel like being bothered today but Madison wasn't having any of that.
She insisted on coming over and cheering me up.
There's nothing she can do to cheer me up.
Wait...
"Is Ashley in your back pocket?" I ask lifting my head off the pillow to look at her.
She's confused.
"Wait.. What?... No."
Yep. Nothing she can do to cheer me up.
"Look bitch. You're getting up and getting dressed cause we're going out." She said knocking my feet off the bed.
"I am doing no such thing. I'm waiting for Ashley to call."
We barely get to talk cause she's always so busy with school and stuff, trying to get her work done so she can catch up and graduate on time, so we've made set times to talk.
And I for one am not about to miss it cause Madison wants to 'attempt' to cheer me up.
"Spencer, you're getting your ass outta this house. I don't care if I have to drag you myself."
And drag me she did.
Off the bed.
To her car.
That bitch strong.
Anyways we're at the fair.
Madison & Jade.
Taylor and Gabrielle, my other friends from school.
So basically I'm like the fifth wheel, which sucks.
"I wanna ride the Ferris Wheel." Jade squeals as we approach it.
Fuck my life.
"I wanna ride the Ferrris Wheel." I say in a mocking tone.
Cause I mean come on.
That's so fucking lame.
Two couples plus me equals a fucking mad ass Spencer.
Got it?
Good.
"Don't be a bitch to Jade, Spence. It's not her fault you're Debbie Downer without Ashley."
Oh fuck you Madison.
Fuck.
You.
"We're gonna ride it. You're welcome to come, Spence." See at least Taylor is being sensitive to my situation.
Unlike my so called BEST FRIEND.
PSH.
Please.
"Na I'm good I'm gonna just go call Ashley." She didn't call at our designated time.
Sadface.
I watch as Madison, Jade, Taylor and Gabrielle make their way onto the Ferris Wheel.
Fuck I miss Ashley.
"I'm not getting on that Spencer." Ashley said as I dragged her to the ride.
"Come on baby pleaaaaase. It's my favorite ride." I begged giving her my best puppy dog eyes.
"Spence you know I'm afraid of heights."
"I know baby, but I'm gonna be right here. I won't let go of your hand I promise. Plus-" I started pulling her closer to me by the collar of her jacket, connecting our lips. "You won't really have time to concentrate on how high it is considering how preoccupied you'll be." I smiled into her lips.
"Is that right?"
Hells yeah that's right!
"Mmhmm." I say as I pull her into the line of the ride.
"Wait you totally just used your Spencer charm to get me on this ride didn't you?" Ashley said as the ride attendant shut the door to our car.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I smile as the ride starts.
My phone rings.
Yay it's Ashley.
"Hey baby." I answer my phone maybe a little bit too excited.
"I'm so sorry I didn't call when I was supposed to baby, I got distracted doing work, then my dad wanted me to help him-"
"Baby." I cut her off.
I love when she rambles, it's so darn cute.
Yup.
I said darn cute.
And?
That's what I thought.
"It's okay." I assure her. "I know that you're busy, it's fine."
"So how's your day going?" She asks me sweetly on the phone.
"Blaaah."
What?
That's all I got.
"Fun." Ashley says sarcastically. "Really though, how are you?"
"I'm fine. I guess…" I couldn't even try to hide the sigh even if I wanted to. "Madison and everyone brought me out to the fair. Everyone is coupled up. I feel like the ugly friend. I wanna go home!" I whine into the phone as I watch my friends on the Ferris wheel.
"Shut up baby!" Ashley laughs at my whining. "Quit your whining. Just try to have fun –"
"Psh yeah right. You're not here. How the fuck can I have fun?" I cut her off.
"Spence.." She said and this time she's the one sighing.
"I know." I say in a small voice gripping the phone tighter. "I'm sorry. I just really miss you."
"I know. I miss you too baby. Hold on…."
I heard voices in the background.
I know she has to go.
Noooo!
"Baby, I gotta go. I'm sorry." She said apologetically.
"It's ok.."
It's not ok.
But I don't wanna be a brat right now.
"I love you. I'll try to call you later."
Insert sigh here.
"I love you more baby." I say hanging up the phone.
I put my phone back in my back pocket and wandered around.
YUM!
Funnel cakes.
Excuse me as I eat my feelings.
After the fair Madison wanted to me come out to dinner with everyone.
I refuse to be the fifth wheel at a dinner table.
Nope.
So I said that I had homework to do and she dropped me off at home.
I hate how I've become.
All sad and depressed all the time.
It sucks.
Totally sucks.
–
The only thing that sucks more than being at home missing Ashley is being at school missing her.
I miss how she would be late to every single class just because she wanted to walk me to mines.
And how she would leave class early just to be waiting for me outside of mines when I got out.
I miss walking past her class and seeing her in it.
I miss eating lunch with her.
Okay...
So I guess it's safe to say I miss everything about her.
"You're gonna be late for class."
"So."
"So you're gonna get detention again." I say as we arrive at my class.
I don't know why she insist on walking me to every single class.
And be late to every single one of hers.
"I don't care. I wanna make sure you're safely inside class before I leave you." Cue smile.
Cuz I mean... AWW!
"Okay we're here so go baby." I try and nudge her in the direction of class.
She's not having it.
"I'm not leaving until I get a kiss." She says poking out her lips and closing her eyes.
How cute is she?
"Baaaby." I smile looking around and the few stragglers in the hall who are not directing their attention towards up.
"What?" She says opening her eyes and glancing in the direction of the stragglers. "Oh them?" She asked pointing a thumb in their direction. "I'm not leaving until YOU SPENCER, MY GIRLFRIEND, gives me a kiss." She yelled effectively getting the attention of everyone in the hall.
I couldn't help but smile at her.
It was embarrassing.
But cute.
Very cute.
So what else could I do?
I kissed her.
"Thank you." She smiled then scampered off to class.
I didn't know then what I know now.
How much I'd miss those times...
Now that she's gone.