Chapter 9
The waiting was killing him,the neverending turmoil running through his mind,he couldn't sit still,was this it,was this Castiels' final hour?
Dean ran his hands through his hair sliding down onto the seat in the waiting area,his whole body feeling numb,he wasn't even aware that there were tears rolling down his face,it just came naturally.
"Dean...Dean can you hear me? I am so sorry,if theres anything I can do for you,you know where I am buddy."
Dean stared into space completely out of it,hearing the words faintly being spoken to him. He slowly turned his head feeling a hand being placed on his shoulder.
Chuck Shurley,his best friend through college sat beside him offering him his sympathys.
Dean sat back letting out a defeated sigh turning to face Chuck,gripping his hand tightly.
Chuck gulped,he couldnt't possibly imagine what Dean must be going through "What are they saying,what happened?"
Dean trembled his eyes fixed to nothing in particular"this is all my fault."
Chuck frowned staring up at him "what are you talking about Dean,what happened?"
"He-He suffered a seizure,something set it off and before that moment we had a fight,well it was mostly me,I acted like such a jerk to him,when im not the one suffering"he took a long pause"don't you get it,I did this to him...I should never of left him."
"Come on Dean none of this is your fault,you need to stop blaming yourself."
Dean gritted his teeth pushing him away "How can I not?"
Chuck shook his head dismissively "Dean...listen to me right now,Cas is sick,it wouldn't of mattered either way weather or not you had a fight or weather Cas went to class or whatever,its the tumor thats eating away inside him,you are not the cause of his pain okay?"
The teenager clapped his hands together,letting out a little whimper tryingto remain calm "it's just hard,and it's not fair,he doesn't deserve any of this." Despite learning a very interesting fact from Castiels' sister,he still believed that Castiel was innocent.
"I know,the world is a cruel place,bad things just happen to good people I guess."
Dean rolled his eyes "yeah thats one way or putting it." He pulled himself up becoming agitated.
Chuck watched him curiously,wondering what was else was going through his mind,he knew that look,he had that guilty look on his face, he wanted to confront him but now was probably not a good time,he turned his head suddenly as a doctor approached them. "Dean" he pointed in the direction of her.
The doctor strolled up to them "Hi...Dean is it?" looking to Chuck.
Dean cleared his throat "thats me"he corrected folding his arms "how is he?"
The doctor tapped her pen on the clipboard "well Castiel had a lucky escape-"she explained everything ,using language he would understand "the tumor swelled causing the seizure,its perfectly normal,luckily for him,it didn't cause too much damage,but we need to be realistic here,its becoming progressively worse"she looked back up at him,aserious look on her face "I understand you were in here earlier today?"
Dean stared up at the blonde,slightly hot doctor and smiled weakly looking down"you want him transferred don't you?"
The doctor gave him a sympathetic smile giving him a nod "without the correct treatment,Cas won't survive long,it is in his best interest that he gets the treatment that he needs,the only options are to remove it,or wait it out." she inhaled looking up at the teenagers "I'll let you and Cas discuss it,he's in recovery at the moment so you are welcome to go see him."
Dean stared off into the distance only faintly making out what the doctor was telling him "thank you."
Locating Castiels room wasn't that hard,he was put in a private room which he was happy about,it meant they could have their conversation alone.
Glancing up at Chuck he smiled weakly "thanks for sticking around buddy,but I can take it from here,I kinda wanna be alone with him you understand."
Chuck smiled back "ofcourse,i'll inform the Dean whats been going on for you,let everyone know,we're all worried."
"Thank you Chuck."
Dean let out a heavy sigh, a sudden rush of nerves churning in his stomach as he opened the door,Castiel lay there silently,to say he looked like death was an understatement.
He stood silent for a moment,not really knowing what to say.
Cas slowly turned his head and smiled weakly"hey beautiful"he groaned closing his eyes in pain,still a little out of it from his tests.
"Hey-"
Cas turned to face him opening his eyes admiring every part of him"hmm you know we really should stop meeting like this" he forced a smile,letting out a slight moan as he got himself comfortable.
"Cas...I,I'm so sorry."
Castiel rested his head back and smiled weakly"It's okay Dean,this wasn't you, infact you kinda opened my eyes to the reality of my illness,to how serious this is."he frowned.
Dean licked his lips taking a seat beside his bed,he really didn't want to have this talk infact he was dreading it. "We need to talk Cas,about what we're going to do."
Castiel lay there with his eyes closed"I know" it was something they both knew they had to deal with at one point but he didn't think it would be this soon. "Yeah,erm I want it out of me Dean,and it that means that this is the end then so be it...I was told that a specialist could potentially remove the tumor,so that's what I want."
Dean reached over taking his hand running his fingertips along the bumps of his knuckles and smiled "if thats what you want then okay,thats what we'll do..i'll go inform your doctor." he went to pull himself up,feeling his heart breaking inside,something telling him this was a bad idea,but he had to respect Castiels' decision.
"Dean wait...don't go just yet...please."
Dean smiled weakly "okay" he replied quietly taking a seat once more,sitting with Cas in silence.
A week later Castiel had made a somewhat full recovery,the doctor confident enough to let him leave,his surgery had been booked in for 2 weeks on the day,in which time he was to be transferred to a specialist clinc just outside of town,sadly for the Cas,Dean hadn't broke the news about visiting his sister,or about breaking the news that he was struggling to pay Castiels medical bills,but he couldn't bear worrying him any longer,Cas was getting the treatment he needed,he would figure out a way to pay it all back.
"It seems like a nice place,you'll be comfortable there,I know it."
Castiel sighed placing his belongs being confided to a wheelchair in the meantime "you really think so,it's just going from one prison to another,having people prod and poke away inside me,quite literally."
Dean raised an eyebrow pushing him along Campus "well duh,how else do you think they're going to get it out of you."
Glancing down at the floor, he groaned"yeah I know,but its frustrating i've had enough of people poking around in there." he smiled over at someone wishing him well.
"Wow Cas..looks like you're pretty popular all of a sudden."
Castiel glanced up at them all,forcing a smile "can you just get me inside,I don't any one giving me attention,I just...I want to get this meeting over with so I can get out of here."
Dean cleared his throat and nodded,doing as he instructed,he pushed him up the ramp heading to main part of campus towards the Deans' office,"Okay do you still want me to come in with you or you good on your own."
"No I need you,incase...you know-"he tipped his head down.
"okay"
They momentarily arrived at her office,Dean reaching over tapping on the door,quickly being greeted at the door "Hey I hope we're not too late."
"Ofcourse not,why don't you boys come inside."
Dean gave her a warm smile as they both entered,closing the door behind him.
Cas stared into space thinking back to the first time he was in this office,he was practically begging the Dean to let him have this oppurtunity,a chance to study in one of the top colleges in America and now he sat here ending it. He breathed in,rubbed his lips together and began explaining to the Dean his situation. This chapter of his life was certainly over,but deep down he knew another chapter was about to begin,the fight to defeat this illness,and he wasn't going to go down easily.