I watched as Spencer disappeared from my sight.
Sigh.
I already miss her.
I don't know how long I've been standing here for but I definitely know it's time to go.
My whole body was on auto pilot as I drove to school in silence.
I parked my car and sat there with no intentions of moving.
I looked out my window for no reason and stared at nothing in particular when I heard my phone vibrating but knowing it wasn't Spencer, I didn't even bother to check it.
My phone vibrated two more times before I said fuck it, restarted my car and drove away
I drove around with no destination in mind and finally pulled up to my house, not caring at all that my mom is home.
I didn't even bother to sneak in, I walked right past my mom who was busy vacuuming the living room.
I heard her turn the vacuum off and say my name, of course she's shocked that I was home.
I know I shouldn't ignore her but I did.
"Ashley.." She called out again and the tone of her voice stopped me in my track. "Why are you not in school?"
I didn't say anything.
I just looked at her.
Her face softened for a second when she saw me.
She probably felt sorry which she should cause this is all her and my dad's stupid jobs fault for making us move and taking me away from Spencer!
"Ashley, you hear me talking to you! Don't make me repeat myself!"
Yeah, and she's back to being angry.
"What?" I snapped, like I said this was all their fault.
"No! You are not taking in a tone with me. I know this is hard but it's no excuse to miss-"
"Yeah well I didn't wanna move in the first place!" I said cutting her off. "I hate this!" I walked up the steps and avoided my Mom's gaze.
Brat move I know.
I moved quickly cause I know one thing my mom is not one for talking back.
I'm surprised she let me get this far without throwing something at me.
I dove in my bed as soon as I got in my room.
I took a deep breath and smelled Spencer on my pillow.
Fuck, I miss her.
I felt my eyes stinging from the built up tears I kept in since the airport.
I can't handle this.
I closed my eyes and finally let the tears fall down..
I'm guessing I cried myself to sleep cause I was woken up by Spencer calling me.
I don't want her to know what happen today so I put on a brave front.
"Hey baby.." I said cheerily on the phone.
All I got from her a simple hi and I knew something was up. She told me how she never told her mom about the coming here until she was on the plane. Half of me kind of knew this and I know that if she told me about her plan I would have said no right away. Spencer can be sneaky whens she wants to be. Thank God she did cause if anything, it was worth it. I'm not telling her that though. It'll just give her more reason to sneak away again and that can't be good for either one of us.
"And I know you're thinking it's worth it. But Spence, I'd rather see you multiple times than ever have sex again." I'm exaggerating here because imagine if... I don't even wanna put that sentence out in the universe. So, I'd rather not finish it.
Spencer told me to calm down and that worst case is that she'll be grounded. She said that her mom will calm down in a couple of days but at the sound of Spencer's voice I can tell she's not sure herself.
"See Spence, we barely talk as is..."
This is all bad.
"I know. I love you Ashley. I just wanted to see you."
Just hearing her say she loves me still gives me butterflies and makes me smile. "What am I gonna do with you Spencer?"
"I can think of a few things..." She said in a voice that sent shivers up and down my body. Jeeezus. I should add, leave it up to Spencer to make me think about sex at a time like this.
I shut my eyes and gripped the phone tighter when I heard Spencer's mom call her.
"I gotta go Ash. I love you, talk to you when I can." She said quickly.
"Ok I love you too." I said just as quickly and heard her hang up.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes knowing it was swollen from crying. I really need to go downstairs and apologize to my mom about being a brat. She doesn't deserve that especially after letting Spence and Madison say here.
I quickly went to the bathroom to wash my face and went downstairs and saw my mom in the kitchen cooking.
"Need any help?" I asked shyly.
"Peel the potatoes and put them in the water." She said not looking at me.
"I'm sorry about earlier." I said concentrating on the task she gave me.
"I know Ashley. I get where you're coming from. Your father and I were in a long distance relationship for a while too you know."
I looked up from peeling the potatoes. Sometimes I forget that my mom and dad had lives before my brother ad I were born. I know it's a stupid thing to say but it's true.
"Yes, for a couple of years before he finally proposed." My mom finishes with an exaggerated eye roll which made me smile. "But you have to understand you have to go to school, Ashley. I'm giving you today but tomorrow you're going to school." She ended that very mom-like might I add.
"Yes ma'am."
"Did you get a chance to speak to Spencer?"
"Yeah, she called me and it's probably the last time we can speak for a while..." I said putting the potatoes in the water. "She never really told her mom about coming here until she was on the plane and Mrs. Carlin wasn't really pleased."
"I bet.I wouldn't worry though. I'm sure Spencer will find a way to talk to you. She always does.." My mom said shaking her head slightly amused.
–
"We're gonna get in so much trouble if my parents catch you in here Spence." I tell her as she snuggles up next to me in my bed. "And Mrs. Carlin, oh my God, Spence. I don't wanna die." I add dramatically.
"Stop freaking out." Spencer says through giggles. I don't know how she can be so calm about this.
"It's a school night and you just sneaked in my window at midnight... how do I not freak out? What happens when your mom goes in your room in the morning and you're not there?" I ask seriously, because as much as I like this idea of getting to sleep next to Spencer, I don't think she thought this all the way through.
"I plan on being out of here waaaaay before your mom or my mom is the wiser, so just chill and hold me." She says with that patented Spencer smile. How can I say no to that?
"I love you." I whisper in her ear.
"Not nearly as much as I love you...clearly." She adds a few seconds later. And I can hear the smile in her voice. We fell asleep that way.
"Shit Ash, wake up." I hear Spencer say frantically above me but I'm too comfy too acknowledge her right now. "Ashley wake up." She tries again, this time shaking me and everything. Ugh, fine. I'm up.
"What?" I whine out. Opening my eyes to see my mom and dad standing over me with Spencer standing next to me with my sheet covering her half naked body. Uh-oh. This definitely isn't good.
"Mom, dad." I coo out as sweetly as possible. "How's it going?" I ask innocently.
"Ashley's in trouble." My brother chants from the door.
"Get outta here you little twerp." I half yell and reach behind me to grab a pillow and toss it at him.
"That's enough Ashton." My dad tells him as the pillow I just threw connects with his face.
"But I wanted to see Ashley get..."
"Go!" My dad says sternly to my brother.
"No fair." He says then walks off. I roll my eyes at him before returning my attention to Spencer who looks absolutely mortified.
"How did you..." I start but I'm quickly cut off.
"We received a phone call this morning for a very hysterical Paula Carlin who woke up in morning to find that her 16 year old daughter wasn't in her bed."
"Mom I can explain." I try.
"Save it Ashley. What the hell were you two thinking. Spencer sweetie, your mom was worried sick." My mom says, turning her attention to Spence.
"I know. I'm sorry Mrs. Davies." Is all Spencer says. She looks like she's two seconds away from either crying or vomiting. I can't really tell.
"You're grounded Ashley." My mom and dad say in unison.
"But..."
"No buts." My mom says.
"And this will never happen again, got it?" My dad adds.
"Yes sir." Spencer and I say in unison.
–
"Wow, what's wrong with you? Where have you been?" Katie asks standing by my locker.
I shrugged and put my unused books in my locker.
"Ok..." She said dragging the word out. "We tried calling you yesterday. I thought you were gonna come straight to school after the airport? Did something happen?"
I just want this day to be over with.
I'm not really in a chit chatty mood.
"I really just wanna go to class, ok?" I shut my locker and walk to class with Katie right behind me
"Wanna ditch after lunch? Emily said we can chill at her house"
See I told you she was right behind me.
I smiled at little cause Katie is one persistent bitch. "No, I already missed class yesterday. I don't wanna miss anymore.."
"You're no fucking fun!"
Um, is she really throwing a fit?
Yeah I know I threw one yesterday but that was different.
"Sorry?"
"You should be." She said and sat in her seat. "It was gonna be tons of fun... but ok."
Katie left me alone after that.
When class was over I quickly ran out to avoid Katie and her cheery self.
"Hey Ash, Did Katie tell you about coming to my – hey, whats wrong?" She asks concerned as she gently grabbed me by my arm to stop me from walking.
Why is she rubbing my arm like that? I looked at her hand and she immediately stopped like my arm was on fire. Weird.
"Uh... I don't wanna talk about it right now ok. I'll talk to you later." I walked away to my next class and heard Emily say ok behind me.
–
The rest of the day went by super slow.
I really should go with them now that I think about it. The day is going by so slow and all my thoughts keep going back to Spencer.
Depressing I know.
I cant help it
I miss her and now I can't even hear voice.
I went through the day like a zombie and but still managed to take notes and do my work.
Oh, and I should say that I avoided Emily and Katie and just like yesterday I ignored their texts
Even going as far as taking different routes to my classes.
Finally the last bell rang and I was the first one out the door and briskly walked to my car
I just really don't feel like participating in life right now. Can I have a few days to myself to regroup? I guess not since Katie and Emily were sitting on the hood of my car sporting the biggest fucking smiles.
"Gotcha bitch! Can't avoid us if we're sitting right here!" They said at the same time.
I rolled my eyes and smiled as I unlocked my car. They both hopped inside before me.
"Just get on in." I mumble under my breath as I follow their actions.
–
"Ashley, are you seriously gonna stay depressed forever?" Katie asks me as she brings the bowl of popcorn she just popped over to the couch and sits down next to me and Emily. Of course I'm in the middle.
"Maybe." I say flatly. I really didn't think it would hurt this much when Spencer left. Was I so wrong.
"Her girlfriend just left and went to the other side of the country Katie. Try and have a heart for once would you?" Emily says sarcastically to her friend.
"You both can suck it!" Katie says, bitch face and all. Emily and I couldn't help but laugh a little. Aw, look at them... cheering me up a little.
"Aww, I got you to smile. Points for me whore!"
"Oh I didn't know it was a competition. OK..go!" Emily says psyching herself up.
They are really something else.
I'm glad I met them or else I'd be in my room right now listening to Adele or someone equally as depressing like the Cure.
"That's not all..." I tell my friends who were all of a sudden all ears. "Spencer's on punishment so I don't know when the next time I can talk to her."
"But..." Emily says confused.
"Yeah, she conveniently forgot tell her mom until the last possible minute that she was coming to visit me." I couldn't help but smile again. Spencer will really stop at nothing for us to be together and I love that about her. Now I really do believe it's only a matter of time before she figures out a way to call me.
"You're girl is a crazy bitch." Katie laughed and jumped a little when her phone buzzed. She read the message and typed a reply with a smirk on her face. I'm guessing it's something dirty or it could be just her mom asking her to come home, you really never know with her. "Well hoes, duty calls." She said getting up and waving her phone like we're suppose to know what that means.
I guess I should go to since I was her ride. "You still need a ride?" I ask.
"Oh no Ash. I'm getting picked up." She says, her words dripping with obvious innuendo. "Bye bitches."
I suddenly realized that Emily hasn't said a word this whole time. When I glanced at her she looked like she was deep in her thoughts staring at the TV. I have no idea what I should do. I've never been alone with her before so this is new.
"You and Spencer are really lucky." Emily said out of nowhere breaking the silence still staring at the random movie Katie picked out. "I saw how much you guys love each other and that was just for weekend. You two must be sickening to be around for long periods of time." She ends with a small laugh. "Spencer better not let you go..." She says, still keeping her eyes glued to the television.
Um...
"So I don't think I've ever asked you how long you and Katie have been friends." I say trying to cut the obvious tension in the room.
"We met in junior high. She was some sort of a Regina George mean girl and when her minions started picking on me one day she put a stop to it. Even going as far as walking me home." She said with a wistful smile when she told me the story. "After that there was some sort of power struggle with her friends and Katie walked away from it. And there was no getting rid of her after that."
"Aww, I'm shocked you got picked on though."
"Well, yeah I wasn't this hot in junior high." She says, motioning to her body with a smirk which I rolled my eyes at.
"So you two ever... you know..."
"We made out yes but sex... no. I don't wanna cross that line with her plus now she's like my sister. That has to be sort of like incest or something." Emily finishes with a face.
"Wow that's.. a disturbing way of putting it."
We share a laugh and the silence came back once we stopped laughing. I'm not good at making small talk. In fact I hate it. It's awkward and uncomfortable. I really wish Spencer was here...
"You're thinking about Spencer again aren't you?" She says raising a very accusing eyebrow at me.
"Am I that obvious?" Making a joke out of it so I won't seem as pathetic as I am. I took a sip of my drink and felt eyes on me. Since it's just me and Emily in the room I know its her. When I looked at her she quickly averted her eyes from my lips.
"You just make this face... I don't know.. I'm very observant." Emily said scanning my whole body for effect.
"Hey!" I was attempting to lightly push her for being a perv when she caught my hand.
"You're not allowed to manhandle me in my own house." She says giggling as she pulled me even closer as she held my hand between hers.
Our laughter came to a grinding halt when I watched as she flipped my hand over and grazed her finger tips on my palm. In another time this would tickle me but somehow it's like there was a different energy around us.
"You want me to read your life line?" She asks in a low voice tracing the lines on my palm. "I'm totally lying. I don't know how to do that shit!" She says letting go of my hand with a small giggle. And just like that whatever it was that around us disappeared.
"You asshole! You had me believing you can... wait... is that how you get hoes?" I ask. Only this time I had my eyebrow up challenging her.
"Please Ash, you have got to give me more credit than that." She says laughing running her hand through her wavy hair. "Did you think I was flirting with you? Cause I can do that."
"Uh huh..." That's what I said but really I wanted to say 'Yes, you were flirting with me.'
I felt my phone vibrating and I quickly took it out of my back pocket. You never know. It could be Spencer. When I looked at my screen I saw that it was only my little brother telling me to get home.
"Spencer?" Emily asks sitting back to her original spot on the couch which was all the way on the other side. I didn't even realize she was sitting that close to me.
"No, it was my brother. I gotta go." I say standing up.
"Oh ok." She said standing up as well. "Let me walk you out."
"This was fun. I didn't think you were gonna be much fun without Katie around." I joked once we reached the front door.
"Shut up. I'll see you tomorrow." She said giving me a hug. A hug that seemed a tad long but neither one of us let go. "Bye Ash.." She says finally stepping back, breaking the hug.
"Bye Emily.." I tell her with a smile.
I walk out the door to my car with a smile still lingering on my lips as I think about how Katie and Emily effectively took my mind off Spencer today. I seriously don't know where I would be without them.