Warriors: The Forbidden Fruit - Chapter 11
Sorry the song is so long for this one.
I don't own Warriors.
Chapter 11
"Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like"
-"Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan
Briarlight
Rain drummed on the roof of the medicine cat den rhythmically. The repetitive, dull sound seemed to almost lull Briarlight into a daze. Jayfeather had returned from the Moonpool just the day before and the rain had not ceased since. She hated the rain. She hated the dreary, listless gray skies. She hated the bored, melancholy feeling that became more dominant during the depressing weather.
Jayfeather was in the herb storage counting marigold and horsetail leaves. He'd barely spoke to her since his return. Why was he avoiding her all of a sudden? Had she done something wrong? Did StarClan warn him of horrible things if he continued to be with her? Something isn't right, she decided finally. I don't know what it is, or why he's doing it, but he has a reason, and for his sake I hope it's a good one!
A part of her longed to drag herself into the herb storage demand the answers she coveted. However, another part couldn't bring herself to do it. Everything seemed to be going wrong! And the weather was not helping matters in the least. She'd never felt so useless and rejected in her life. "I'm a disgrace," she whispered sadly aloud.
"What was that?" the gray-furred medicine cat called from the storage. He emerged curiously, his ears pricked forward. Painstakingly, he studied her using all but his eyes. "Did you need something?"
She shook her head quickly. "No… I was just talking to myself," she added the last part after a moment in an effort to gain some emotion from him, sympathy or not.
He turned to leave again, and then paused. He turned back and cat down. "You may talk to me, if you like," he offered, curling his long, slender tail around his paws.
Briarlight felt like she wanted to scream. Why was Jayfeather doing this? Before she could stop herself, she voiced her thoughts. "Why are you doing this?"
His eyes widened for a moment before his brow furrowed in confusion. "Doing what?" he inquired, his lips curling upward at the edges in a small, devilish smirk.
That son of a badger! He is playing games with me!
"You know exactly what!" she hissed, her lips curling back in a snarl. "Stop playing games with me! You come back from the Moonpool and barely even speak to me! Now, you're acting as if nothing has happened! What is your problem?!" Her fury was beginning to consumer her, evolving from a simmering anger to a white-hot flame of rage.
Jayfeather didn't appear disturbed in the least by her change in attitude. He sat there, gazing at her with his clouded eyes, and after a moment, Briarlight finally saw annoyance flash in his eyes. "Perhaps I just didn't want to speak with you. Maybe I wanted to gather my own thoughts before trying to explain to you that Tigerheart and Dawnpelt still believe that I killed Flametail and are trying to kill you as revenge! And to tell you that Breezepelt is working with them along with a traitor inside ThunderClan who knows of us!" he spat. His voice rose steadily with every word until he was nearly yowling at her.
Briarlight just lay there, paralyzed. What Tigerheart had done when ShadowClan attacked suddenly made sense… but Jayfeather and Briarlight were not even in a mutual relationship. Someone must have seen their affections, or noticed the way they acted. That cat must also have been observing them right under their noses… or already knew of it. She tried to wonder who it could be when a chilling thought popped into her brain and sent a shiver down her spine. "Leafpool," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
Despite her soft tone, Jayfeather's sharp ears didn't miss a thing. "Do you really think so?" he asked in a whisper. "I know that she knows about us but… would she really tell them about us so they could kill you? That goes against the medicine cat code, and the warrior code! She's my mother and even though I don't like her much, I cannot believe that she would betray us like that."
His stubbornness annoyed Briarlight further. "If it's not her, then who else could it be?" she shot back, her own voice obstinate.
Jayfeather sighed. "I refuse to believe it," he said, his voice full of finalism. "It must be someone else! There is a traitor in this Clan, and I am going to find out who it is!" he snarled.
Briarlight stared at him worriedly. Something about his fury frightened her. She'd never truly seen Jayfeather angry—annoyed and short, yes—and it unnerved her. "I will try to help prove you're right," she whispered. "I don't want it to be Leafpool, but she is the most obvious choice."
He sighed once more and nodded. The tom then turned to face her, his face pained and troubled. "Briarlight… there is something I must tell you," he meowed. "Something… that I don't think you will like."
She stared at him for a moment. What is it? What did he do? "You can tell me, Jayfeather," she murmured, not sure if she was telling the truth.
Taking a deep breath, he began. "Briarlight… before… this relationship of ours had even began… before the Great Battle had even taken place, I used my powers and travelled back in time to the very beginning of the Tribe of Rushing Water. While back in time, I met a she-cat named Half-Moon," he paused there, and closed his eyes.
A she-cat? Oh no… StarClan don't let this go where I think it is! she pleaded silently.
"She was… special. She was supposed to be the first Healer of the Tribe, and she ended up being that… However, during the time I spent in the past with the Tribe she and I grew close… We… We fell in love and… and became mates," he told her. His voice was beginning to falter, and Briarlight could hear that each word caused him great pain to utter.
Great StarClan… Why?!
"However, it was not meant to be. I had to come back to the present, and she had a greater destiny to become the Healer of the Tribe… When I went to the Moonpool, she visited me and asked me why I had betrayed her. I told her that I had found you… and that even though I love her, I love you too… Half-Moon is no longer in my life—she is a memory now. But you… you're real. You're here and I love you more than anything. I needed to tell you this because you deserve to know, but I want you to know that you don't need to feel threatened by it. I love you and only you… Forever."
Briarlight lay there, taking in his words. He had loved another… but he still loved her. He would always love her. She knew that he wasn't lying about that. "I love you too, Jayfeather," she whispered. "And… I don't mind it." Even though she spoke it, she didn't truly believe herself. She will always be there… A shadow hanging over my head reminding me that I was not the first to have stolen his heart. "I might not have been your first, but I intend to be your last."
Jayfeather's eyes flew to her face and his ears were angled toward her. His blue eyes were wide and his jaw slightly ajar at her words, but after a moment, his mouth closed and face relaxed. "I hope you are my last," he said finally. "I wouldn't want to be with any other. I will protect you, no matter what."
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