Mail Order Bride

A/N Here it is folks… what you all have been waiting for. Enjoy and please REVIEW!

Disclaimer: Not my characters….

Chapter 24

After he'd uttered her name one last time, the rest of the day had passed in an ever worsening haze. He was aware of moving, but he wasn't doing so under his own power. He was aware of voices floating in the ether around him, but none of them made sense. Then, there were hands, so many hands as people poked and prodded him, followed by more of those meaningless sounds. Edward struggled to open his eyes, but they felt so heavy and the light hurt so badly.

Spanish Influenza…..

Dr. Laurent's words burned in Bella's ears. Apparently, what everyone had thought was a harmless cold, was actually the start of an epidemic. Bella stood by Edward's bed, Emmett standing beside her, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. After Edward had collapsed, Bella had frantically called Emmett, begging him to come over and help her. Then, she had called Dr. Laurent. Both had arrived at the same time.

Dr. Laurent had asked Emmett to carry Edward up to his room. Once inside, they had stripped him of his clothes, and started bathing him with cool cloths. The argument forgotten, Bella stood back as they did this. Dr. Laurent tried to convince Bella to leave to preserve her own health, but Bella adamantly refused. Edward was her husband. She would take care of him.

Nessie was sent to her grandparent's house, to lessen her chance of getting sick. She had kicked and screamed, at first refusing to leave when her daddy was sick. She had been sent to her grandparents when her mother took ill, and she never saw her again. It took both Esme and Bella to convince her that Edward would pull through this. Nessie finally went with Esme, and Bella returned to Edward's side.

As she ran the cool cloth over his face, Bella said, "Please, Edward. You have to get well again. You have to beat this. For Nessie….and for me. We can't lose you."

A groan escaped Edward, and his eyes opened slightly. They were glazed and confused.

It could have been minutes, hours or days for all he knew. In the fog of Edwards existence, time had no meaning. Edward desperately needed to move, to remember something, to reach, but his body felt like lead. His eyes were still glued shut and there was a pounding in his head. Groaning, Edward tried to retreat deeper into the abyss, but something jerked him back to the surface. Cold water splashed on his face. It felt like ice trickling down his neck. It forced his eyes open just barely and cleared his mind enough to ask…"Nessie? Where's Nessie?" His voice was shredded, like it'd been dragged over shards of glass.

"Shhhhhhh." Came an instantly soothing sound, as a wet rag mopped his forehead gently. "Don't worry, she's with your parents."

Satisfied, Edward closed his eyes, and drifted back into unconsciousness.

And so it went on for the next few days. Edward would drift in and out of consciousness, sometimes asking for Nessie, and sometimes asking for Bella. Bella was always there, spooning broth down his throat, and cooling him with wet cloths. She slept little, and cared less about her appearance. She had taken to simply wearing her nightgown, as it was less encumbering than her dresses. She could move much more freely and faster. Her meals were simple and fast, because she barely left Edward's side.

Edward had started coughing up blood. The first time it happened, Bella knew what it meant. Blood was filling Edward's lungs. Only a miracle would save him now….

Edward let out a hacking cough that rattled his chest, hurt his lungs and brought blood to his lips. Again, that rag wiped blood, sweat and other fluids from his mouth. Suddenly though, his senses were assaulted by a smell like lavender and honey. It was so strong he though he could taste it. As the rag dragged across his face again, he flicked out his tongue, caressing a soft feminine wrist. He shuddered, recognizing the taste.

Bella was startled. She had felt Edward's tongue lave across her wrist. She knew he was incoherent, but the sensation made her realize how much she missed Edward's strong presence. Edward had not made any sexual advances since the incident with James. Bella missed those moments with Edward.

"Hot….so hot…..fire….." Edward muttered.

Bella wet the cloths again, and began wiping down his entire body. "I'm sorry, my love."

His hand clamped down on her wrist. Edward opened his glassy and pain filled eyes. His vision was slightly blurry. He saw a feminine shape, but couldn't make out any features. She leaned toward him, and brushed her hand down his cheek. He leaned into the sensation, relishing the contact. Her hand was so cool compared to the heat in his body. The hand caressed his cheek, and he groaned again.

When is this never ending fire going to stop?

Five days….

Edward had been ill for 5 days. Dr. Laurent came to check on him daily. Every day, he would shake his head and look at Bella with sad eyes. Bella, however, refused to believe that Edward was dying. She refused to believe that she could lose him forever.

At one point, Bella and Dr. Laurent had put a bed shirt on Edward, hoping that the extra weight would help him sweat out the fever. Bella continued to bathe him in cool cloths, her movements almost desperate now. Edward had begun to thrash on the bed, and Bella was frightened that he would injure himself. She took his hand in hers. Almost immediately, his thrashing ceased.

"Edward? Edward, can you hear me? Please, please open your eyes for me."

And then, miraculously, his green eyes opened and gazed at her, unfocused and glassy.

Edward was still burning up with fever. He was thrashing on the bed, trying to get away from the heat within his body. He felt a soft, feminine hand take his. Words…"Edward? Edward, can you hear me? Please, please open your eyes for me." Immediately, he stopped thrashing, trying to focus on that voice. He knew that voice…

As if that was the signal he had been waiting for, Edward's eyes slowly opened. They were glassy and unfocused. He looked around wildly, searching. His gaze settled on a feminine form sitting beside him.

"Edward, I'm here. I'm right here," She told him soothingly. She squeezed his hand.

Edward's head turned in her direction. He looked at Bella, seeming to focus, if only for a moment. His hand squeezed hers slightly. "It's you," Was Edwards soft reply as he struggled desperately to focus on the female perched so close to him. Bella smiled widely. He recognizes me!

Leaning down, Bella kissed Edward's brow. It was a little cooler than before, but still very hot. As she was pulling back, Edward's other hand shot out and grabbed her behind her neck.

"So beautiful…."he said hoarsely, his voice rusty from disuse. Bella felt tears form. He had never called her that before. "I love you, and I'm sorry for everything. Can you forgive me?" Edward asked, a plea in his voice that Bella had never heard before. Her breathing stopped. Before she could respond, Edward pulled her closer. Bella barely had time to think, before his lips touched hers.

Bella had only ever kissed one man willingly in her life, and that was Edward. This kiss felt different than the few times he had kissed her for appearance sake. It even felt different from the times he had kissed her willingly.

This kiss held passion….

Bella barely noticed when he slowly pulled her onto the bed with him. Her brain told her that he was very sick, and she should stop this. Her heart, however, told her to let it happen. Edward finally wanted to make love to her.

Bella listened to her heart…

Edward fell even deeper into his fever induced delusions, while pulling his wife closer to him. His world became immersed in her feminine scent. The coarse gritty feeling of the cotton sheets beneath him became smooth, like satin. Her lips against his were soft, like rose petals, feeding the fever of his desire for her.

She came willingly to Edward like she always did. Never had she tried to resist him. He let his hands travel down her body. His mind changing the musty bed clothes she wore with its stained lace to something blue, made of the finest silk. Her hair fell in soft waves around him after his hands had traveled up, unbinding that hair he loved so much.

He let his lips fall to her throat, tonguing the pulse that pounded harder under his touch. Edward heard his woman release a soft moan at his touch. The sound caused an urgency to fill him, and suddenly he felt that it had been far too long since he'd last touched his mate. Eager hands moved to undo the intricate ties of her dressing gown.

He wanted nothing more than to bare her body to him. The delicate lace kept slipping through his fingers. Just as he started to contemplate ripping the clothing from her body, she pulled away. He watched in awe as nimble fingers undid the ties that had eluded him. Soon the clothes fell from her body as if by magic.

Edward gazed up at her, the beauty that she was calling to him. Reaching for her waist, he took a firm grip, rolling them both so that his love was trapped beneath him. Pressing her into the bed, he kissed her long and deep. They were both panting by the time he got his fill of her lips. Her hands reached for him, tugging on his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. Edward helped her rid him of the useless bit of clothing.

He looked down at her with her eyes shining, lips swollen, pink nipples pert and perfect, wearing only a thin bit of lace that rode her hips. "Mine," he whispered. "You're all mine."

Instead of going for those half parted lips, Edward moved lower, lavishing his attention on her breasts. He sucked one of her hard little buds into hot moist cavern of his mouth. The sensation made his woman cry out, as one of his hands wandered to her other breast, molding her tender flesh and teasing her nipple. His wife shivered relentlessly beneath him, her mouth open, releasing endless whimpers and pleading gasps. He let his other hand wander much lower on her body, while still feasting on her quivering bosom.

Bella lay beneath Edward, shuddering and grasping his hair, as he licked and sucked at her nipples. Then, she felt his hand travel lower. His fingers tangled into her woman's hair, and then she cried out as he slipped a finger inside. He moved slowly, pressing inside of her gently but firmly.

As he stroked and stretched her body with his fingers, Bella reached down and stroked his manhood. It twitched in her hand and she reveled in the feelings that he invoked within her. Boldly, she stroked faster, causing Edward to moan and press against her hand.

Rolling them again, Bella found herself on top of Edward. She felt his erection nudging at her folds. Not sure what to do, but following her instincts, she guided him into her. Edward pushed upward slightly, and Bella felt the pressure of him inside of her for the first time.

It was just a second later and Edward's throbbing erection was pressed deeply inside. Bella felt a small tearing sensation that made her quiver, but passed as quickly as it had come. She could feel him pulsing inside her, while she rested her hands on his chest. While she adjusted to feeling him fill her so completely, her husband gave a her mystified look and suddenly she realized she didn't know what to do as the shock silenced her earlier instincts.

Teasingly, Edward reached up, brushing his fingertip over her hips, making Bella shiver. Then, he gripped the flesh of her backside. Slowly, he helped her rise on her knees, straining till his tip was barely inside her, before slamming back home. The sensation made her back arch, thrusting her breasts out over him as she moaned. He did this over and over until Bella found her rhythm, shocks of pleasure lighting up every nerve in her body, in a way that had never happened before.

All too soon, Bella felt Edward stiffen under her, and heard his moan of pleasure. She felt liquid heat spurt inside of her. She collapsed on top of him, and quickly rolled to her side, so as not to hurt him. Edward pulled her against him, a content smile on his face.

Bella curled into his side, and whispered, "I love you, Edward. Now, I am complete."

Edward stirred, and opened his eyes….

Edward opened his eyes slowly. Bella laid her hand on his brow. It was noticeable cooler. "Edward, can you hear me?" Bella asked quietly. His head turned in her direction.

"Tanya?" Edward questioned softly. His eyes were unfocused, but his voice was stronger. Then, he closed his eyes again, and succumbed to sleep.

Bella felt tears threaten. He had just made the sweetest love to her, and in the end, he spoke his dead wife's name. Bella was heartbroken. That one word firmly confirmed what she had always known to be true.

He was still in love with his dead wife. He'll never love me. Not as I love him. He said all those things to her. He made love to his wife, but not the live one… never the live one.

Pulling her nightgown back on quickly, Bella quietly raced out of his bedroom. After she entered her room, she allowed the tears to fall. Bella knew in that instant that she could stay no longer. She could not stay in a marriage where she now knew she would never be loved. She had tried. She had given Edward so many chances. He lied to me. He's lied since the beginning. He never intended for his heart to be involved.

Pulling her clothes from the wardrobe, she stopped. The beautiful dresses that Edward had purchased for her were in there as well. They suddenly seemed to mock her. Grazing the silky material, Bella resolutely left them hanging there. She would take nothing from him.

Dressing in her warmest traveling gown, Bella's eyes swept the room that had been hers for the last several months. Taking her toiletries off the vanity, she placed them in her bag as well. Again, if Edward purchased it, it stayed were it was. She would owe him nothing.

She carried her things downstairs. Stopping in the kitchen, she retrieved a pen and paper. Realizing she could not simply disappear, she decided to leave Edward a letter. She would leave it on the table in the Dining Room. He would see it there eventually. Picking up the pen, Bella began writing the hardest letter of her life.

My dearest Edward,

I am writing this with a heavy heart. I have come to realize that our feelings are not the same and therefore, I cannot stay with you any longer. I have greatly enjoyed the time that we were together, and I thank you for the wonderful memories I will carry for the rest of my days. I realize I am taking the coward's way out of our marriage, and for that I am so sorry. You have shown me a life I never dreamed existed. But, unfortunately, that is all it will ever be…a dream. A beautiful dream that I was lucky enough to get a glimpse of. I thank you for that opportunity. No words can truly explain how much it all meant to me, being a wife and mother. Just know, I was happy and regret nothing of our time together.

Nessie has become the lovely child I am sure she once was again, and I would like to think I had a small hand in that happening. Please tell her that I love her. I am so sorry I have to leave her, but this is the way it must be. I cannot, nor should I stay where I know I don't belong. Again, I am a coward.

Edward, I release you from our marriage vows. As our marriage was not consummated, you should be able to obtain an annulment with no difficulty. I do not expect, nor do I want anything from you of a monetary value. You will find the garments and such that you purchased for me still hanging in the armoire. The only things I take with me are the items I came with, and memories of our brief time together.

Please know that I am truly sorry for leaving in this way. I truly feel it is for the best.

The last two things I return to you are my name…your name, and my wedding ring. Please give them to the woman who someday will truly hold your heart. You deserve that happiness. I wish you the best always. I only hope someday you can forgive me. I will never bother you again. This is goodbye.

Yours always,

Bella Swan

Setting the pen down, Bella took a shaky breath in. This was it. The end of her brief glimpse of happiness. Edward didn't love her. He wouldn't even remember the perfect moments from upstairs earlier. Bella, however, would never forget. Never consummated indeed. At least I'll always have the memories.

Bella raised her left hand to eye level. In the dull light, her wedding ring still shimmered. Fighting tears, Bella removed the ring and placed it on the letter. Her hand felt empty now. She had fibbed a little in the letter. She was taking one more thing besides what she had written. Carefully folded in one of her dresses, was a portrait. In this portrait, was Edward and Nessie. This way, she would always be able to see their faces and remember this brief time of happiness. This brief time when she had love. Even if it only came from the child, never the father.

Picking up her coat and bag, Bella opened the front door and stepped through it. She forced herself not to look back. As she walked away, she felt her heart shatter from within.

I love you, Edward Cullen. I'll love you until I no longer draw breath. Maybe by that time, the pain of losing you will have ceased.

A/N Wow! Did you see that one coming? Next chapter….Edward finds out Bella has left…what will he do? And, before you ask, yes it is possible to be that sick and still have intercourse. I have a friend who is an LPN and badgered her constantly about this. 2 chapters left…..

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