Mail Order Bride

Disclaimer: Twilight is owned by Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is meant. I am using the characters for enjoyment purposes only.

Disclaimer: This fic is rated "M" for language, violence, and sexual situations. If you are under 18, SCRAM! It is not my job to police you. If you don't like what you are reading, STOP!

THIS CHAPTER IS A REWRITE OF THE ORIGINAL FINAL CHAPTER THAT WAS POSTED 3 YEARS AGO. IF YOU HAVE BEEN ON MY WEBSITE, THAN YOU HAVE ALREADY READ IT. IF NOT, ENJOY. I HOPE THIS CLEARS UP SOME OF THE GAPS FROM BEFORE. THANK YOU FOR READING!

Chapter 25

Seven months had passed since Bella left Edward. Seven months of crying herself to sleep at night. Seven months of reliving every precious moment she had with Edward, good and bad. Seven months of longing and abject heartbreak.

"Bells?" her father asked, coming up behind her. Bella wiped at the tears that seemed to be constantly on her face. Turning around, she gave her father a wan smile. He looked at her with concern. "Bells? This isn't healthy. You need to take care of yourself."

"I know, Dad. I know. I just….need time to grieve."

"Edward didn't die, Bella. You left him," Charlie reminded her softly.

Bella's eyes stared at Charlie, but she wasn't seeing him. She was seeing the night she left Edward….

As Bella walked toward Emmett's house, she let the tears fall unheeded. She had been so foolish to think Edward would ever love her! She had given him the most precious gift that she could give a husband, and he had taken it, all the while thinking he was making love to…Tanya. Bella wanted to go back and erase the last few hours, but knew it was impossible. Bella would never forget those moments for as long as she lived. They were branded into her soul, never to be released.

The sun was just starting to rise when Bella knocked on Emmett's front door. She stood waiting, wondering if Edward had woken up yet. She hated leaving him like that, but couldn't stay in that house any longer. Esme or someone would come by to check on him, she was sure of it.

Finally, the door swung open. Emmett stared at her tear streaked face and assumed the worst. "Edward? Is he…?"

"No! He's still alive. I can't….I can't stay here any longer. I made an awful mistake coming here. I've decided to return home, to Seattle. I'm going to wire Father for the ticket money."

By that time, Rose had also come to the door. She looked sleep mused and immediately, Bella felt bad about waking them up. "I'm sorry to disturb you so early, but I needed to tell you where I was going."

"Bella, wait. We'll come with you. Just give us a couple of days to get everything settled," Emmett implored. Bella shook her head.

"No. I can't stay here any longer. Please, just don't be angry at Edward. This was my decision. My choice."

Reluctantly, Emmett let his sister go, knowing that he couldn't stop her once her mind was made up. He promised her that they would follow her home, as soon as possible. Bella had nodded, and after giving her brother a hug, she walked slowly toward the train station….

Bella shook herself, and looked at Charlie. He had been so good to her since her return. He never questioned her decision to leave Edward and never pressed for answers. Bella took her place back in the household, as if nothing had changed. But, unfortunately, everything had changed.

When Bella first returned to Seattle, she had become a hermit. She barely went outside, and if she did, it was usually after dark. She ate little, and slept even less. Her dreams were haunted by Edward. She would awaken with tears on her face, her bed sheets twisted and pushed from the bed.

Gradually, Bella realized that living that way wasn't healthy. She started eating better, and her sleep wasn't as disturbed as it had been. But, she still only went out at night. She would stare at the sky, and wonder how Edward and Nessie were.

Bella missed that little girl. Shortly after she left, she had written a letter to Nessie. But, instead of mailing it, she had stuffed it into a drawer. That little girl was probably hurting enough. Why should she add to her pain?

Bella smiled at Charlie. "Dinner is almost ready," she said, effectively dropping the subject.

Charlie nodded. "I'll ask Sue to help you, Bells," he said, before heading to the Living Room, presumably to look for Sue, who he had married four months ago. Bella nodded, and sat down to wait for Sue.

As he stepped off the train, Edward looked around him. So, this is Seattle, where Bella grew up. Edward grabbed his bag, and walked toward the office. He asked the ticket seller where Charlie Swan's house was. After gaining the directions, Edward nodded his thanks, and tipped the man.

As he made his way toward the Swan house, Edward thought back over the last several months. When it became very apparent that Bella had indeed left him and was not going to come back, he made plans of his own. Nessie was currently staying with his parents, and he was on a mission.

He was going to bring Bella back home!

Bella had been gone for a few weeks, when Edward began having….strange flashes of memories. He had flashes of seeing Bella riding him, as they made love. But, that was impossible. She said herself, in her letter, that the marriage hadn't been consummated. He knew that to be the truth. But, the memories persisted. He had flashes of himself, trying to untie her gown. He saw her face as he filled her the first time. He remembered how she tasted. Had they really made love? And, if so, why had Bella lied in her letter?

Finally, Edward stood outside the Swan house. It was not as large as his own home, but it had a warm, friendly feel to it. He wondered if the inside would feel the same. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

A moment passed, and then a tall, older man opened the door. Edward was certain this was Charlie Swan, Bella's father.

"Yes? Can I help you?" he asked, eyeing Edward.

"Chief Swan? I'm Edward Cullen. Bella's…husband. Is she here?" Edward asked, trying to see around the older man. Charlie shifted, effectively blocking Edward's view.

"So, you finally came after my daughter. Took you long enough," Charlie said, by way of an answer. He eyed the young man in front of him. Edward started turning red from the perusal. Charlie chuckled to himself. Boy, was he in for a surprise….

Edward started to fidget. This wasn't going how he thought it would.

"Young man, you hurt my daughter. She has been a mess since her return. I'm telling you right now, if you are here to hurt her more, I suggest you leave now. Bella doesn't need anything upsetting her, especially now," Charlie hedged.

Especially now? What the hell did he mean by that? "No, sir. I know I hurt Bella. But, I want to make it up to her. I want her to come back home. I…I love her, sir. I know I made mistakes. My hope is that Bella can forgive me."

Again, Charlie chuckled. Poor, poor boy. He really has no idea what he's going to be walking into. Charlie opened the door wider and stepped back. "Welcome. Please come in."

Edward stepped inside. Immediately, he felt the comfort of a happy home surround him. It had been so long since he had felt that feeling. Since Bella left...

"She's that way, in the Kitchen," Charlie pointed. Edward nodded, and started walking that way. "Oh, and Edward?"

Edward stopped, and turned to look at Charlie. "Yes, sir?"

Charlie chuckled out loud this time. "Good luck, son."

Edward nodded, and continued toward the Kitchen. He passed an older woman on his way. She gave him a strange look, but made no comment. He stopped in front of the Kitchen door. Bella had her back to him. He watched as she took an apple pie out of the oven, and set it on the counter next to the stove. He stepped more fully into the room.

"Bella?" Edward said. Bella froze, before slowly turning to face him. Her face registered shock.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" Bella asked. Her hand moved toward her stomach. Edward looked down, noticing for the first time that she was pregnant. Several months pregnant….

Taking in her rounded stomach, Edward's eyes widened., and his stomach dropped. Bella watched him with trepidation.

Does he know? Does he remember?

"Bella? What...? How...? Uh...this is...uh...this is….unexpected. It appears I took to long. I'm too late," Edward stuttered out, his eyes never leaving the roundness of her belly. Unconsiously, he began backing up toward the door. I'm sorry...I...uh...maybe I shouldn't have come here after all. I should go." Bella was pregnant? How? Maybe that night had been real? But, if it did happen, WHY did she run away afterward? Was the child she was carrying mine? The question that Edward wanted so desperately to ask stuck in his throat. If it is mine, why didn't she tell me? Edward stopped moving, just as he heard….

"Edward, wait," Bella started, placing her hand again on her stomach. Edward's heart twisted in his chest. She looks so beautiful….

"You look beautiful, my Bella. You're absolutely glowing." Edward stated. "Congratulations. I'm sure…." Edward stopped, his words cut off by the look on Bella's face.

For the first time in several months, Bella really looked at Edward again. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked like he had lost weight. She wanted so desperately to run into his arms, but knew that she couldn't any longer. He isn't your husband anymore. You let him go…. A small sob escaped her lips before she could stop it. Edward froze, hearing the sound.

"My Bella, please don't cry. I could never bear to see you cry. Is there someone who…?" he questioned, gesturing toward her stomach. Bella's face fell. He doesn't remember…

"It doesn't matter anymore. He never wanted me. I wasn't ever who he really wanted." Bella's eyes glistened with tears, the words she felt were truth, dropping like stones from her lips. Please just go away, Edward. This is already hard enough….

Edward eyed her stomach critically. For her to be as far along as she was, she would have gotten pregnant…. Memories assaulted him again. "Bella, who's the father? I want the truth."

What would it matter to tell him? He doesn't remember. He'll just think you're lying…

"I made a mistake. He'll never be involved with any of this. It's better that way," Bella told him decisively.

Edward had the distinct impression Bella was hiding something else from him. She would never have left him and then jumped into a relationship with another man. It wasn't her. Which meant….

"You're lying to me. Why?"

"Why are you here, Edward? I left everything behind that you gave me, when I left Chicago." Almost everything you gave me. One, I didn't know I already had. "I set you free. I told you I didn't expect anything from you," Bella countered. Except your love, which will never be mine.

"Bella, will you come back home? Back to Chicago? Please?" Edward asked, scared that he had lost her forever.

"How is Nessie?" Bella asked instead. Edward's heart stopped.

"She misses her mother, very much," he told her honestly. Nessie cried herself to sleep every night, crying for Bella.

Of course she still misses Tanya, Bella thought bitterly, but refrained from voicing that thought. Hurt welled in her heart. I tried so hard to be a mother to that beautiful child. But, I wasn't good enough for either of them to truly love me…

"You may have left everything behind, but you took something as well. Something I didn't know you had, until you were gone."

The picture….he came all this way because I took the picture…

"Excuse me, please. I'll be right back," Bella said, heading toward the stairs. She would give him back the picture if it got him to leave. Placing her hand on her stomach, she slowly climbed upward, fighting tears. At least I'll have this little one to remember him by. He can't take that away from me...

Edward watched Bella walk up the stairs. His mind traveled back to the morning he realized she was gone….

Edward awoke with a splitting headache. What had happened to him? The last thing he remembered was passing out in Bella's arms. Bella? Where was she?

"Bella?" he called out. His voice sounded scratchy, like he hadn't spoken in days. "Bella?" he called again. The house was eerily silent. Where were Bella and Nessie?

Sitting up in bed, Edward realized 3 things at once…he was naked, the bed was covered in sweat, and there was blood on the sheets that he had no idea how it got there. He checked himself over, but found no cuts.

God, I feel weak! How long have I been here? And where the hell was Bella?

Gingerly standing, Edward had to grip the bed frame. The room started spinning, or was it his head that was spinning? Once his equilibrium was back, he made his way to his armoire. He grabbed a dressing robe and put it on. He slowly made his way toward the bedroom door. Opening it, he expected to see Bella coming to check on him. Instead, he only heard silence. No noises from the kitchen, no laughter, just….silence.

Edward made his way to Bella's room. The bed was neat and orderly, as if it hadn't been slept on in a while. A thin layer of dust coated most surfaces in the room. A feeling of dread crept into him. He checked her vanity. Dust rings proved to him that some of her things were missing. He made his way to her armoire. Opening one of the doors, he looked inside. Her dresses still hung there. Relief soared through him. Bella was still here, somewhere.

Edward headed toward the stairs. Where the hell was she, then? Slowly, he made his way to the bottom. "Bella?" he called again. The only reply he received was silence.

As he walked slowly past the table, a glint of metal caught his eye. Turning to look, he found… a ring? Picking it up, he recognized Bella's wedding ring. Suddenly, he noticed the paper that was on the table as well. That feeling of dread again washed over him. Picking it up, he read….

My dearest Edward,

I am writing this with a heavy heart. I have come to realize that our feelings are not the same and therefore, I cannot stay with you any longer. I have greatly enjoyed the time that we were together, and I thank you for the wonderful memories I will carry for the rest of my days. I realize I am taking the coward's way out of our marriage, and for that I am so sorry. You have shown me a life I never dreamed existed. But, unfortunately, that is all it will ever be…a dream. A beautiful dream that I was lucky enough to get a glimpse of. I thank you for that opportunity. No words can truly explain how much it all meant to me, being a wife and mother. Just know, I was happy and regret nothing of our time together.

Nessie has become the lovely child I am sure she once was again, and I would like to think I had a small hand in that happening. Please tell her that I love her. I am so sorry I have to leave her, but this is the way it must be. I cannot, nor should I stay where I know I don't belong. Again, I am a coward.

Edward, I release you from our marriage vows. As our marriage was not consummated, you should be able to obtain an annulment with no difficulty. I do not expect, nor do I want anything from you of a monetary value. You will find the garments and such that you purchased for me still hanging in the armoire. The only things I take with me are the items I came with, and memories of our brief time together.

Please know that I am truly sorry for leaving in this way. I truly feel it is for the best.

The last two things I return to you are my name…your name, and my wedding ring. Please give them to the woman who someday will truly hold your heart. You deserve that happiness. I wish you the best always. I only hope someday you can forgive me. I will never bother you again. This is goodbye.

Yours always,

Bella Swan

Edward read the note again. She had left him? She didn't want to be his wife anymore?

Why would she want to stay your wife? You've treated her fucking horribly ever since the day she arrived. Even when you were nice to her, you always held a piece of yourself back.

In that moment, Edward realized what an ass he had been. Bella had been everything he could ever want in a wife and mother, and he had been too blind and stupid to see how terribly he had hurt her with his callous behavior. The letter crumpled as he clenched his fist around it. Staring blankly ahead, he realized what he had refused to admit to himself from the start. He had fallen in love with Bella.

And now it was too late…..

The next couple of days were a blur to Edward. He remembered getting the good bottle of liquor out and trying to drink himself into oblivion. The fact that he had just come back from the brink of death didn't even register in his numb state. The only thing that he knew was he had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. The next thing he clearly remembered was seeing the hulking form of his brother-in-law, just before he was dumped bodily into the freezing cold water that filled the clawed tub in his bathroom . He had come up sputtering and cursing.

"What the fuck did you do to my baby sister, asshole?" Emmett boomed. Edward had cringed physically and mentally.

"Is she with you and Rosalie?" Edward asked, trying to keep the hope out of his voice. Maybe he still had a chance…

"No! She went home. Back to Seattle. So, I'll ask you again, what did you do to her?"

"I woke up a few days ago and she was gone. The last thing I remembered was collapsing in her arms. She left me a note and her wedding ring was on top of it. I don't know what happened. I don't remember anything," Edward told Emmett honestly.

"You had the influenza. You were ill for several days. We didn't know if you would make it or not. Esme and Carlisle took Nessie so she wouldn't get sick. Bella insisted on taking care of you herself. We all told her you should be in the hospital. She refused, stating she was your wife, and it was her duty to take care of you," Emmett told him bluntly.

Edward took in Emmett's words. He had been ill, and she had risked her own health to take care of him.

"A few days ago, she knocked on our door quite early in the morning and told us she was returning to Seattle. Bella gave no details, only saying that staying here had been a mistake. Rose and I told her to wait, that we would accompany her, but, again, she refused. She said she couldn't stay here any longer, and for us not to get angry at you." Emmett glared at Edward.

Edward now felt even worse than before. What had happened to make her want to leave so suddenly? In the note, she said she had been happy. What changed?

"Emmett, I need your help…."

Edward's thoughts were cut off by the quiet clicking of shoes, signaling Bella's return. Her gait was slow, as the burden of the child slowed her down considerably. She came to a stop in front of him, her stomach almost touching him. She held her hand out.

"Here. I'm sorry you had to come all this way to get this back. I only wanted something to remember you and Nessie. I'm sorry I took it. You could have contacted me by post, and I would have returned it, if only to spare you the travel time," Bella said softly, her voice touched with a note of… defeat? She nudged his hand with the frame, causing his eyes to drop.

Edward looked and saw a picture of he and Nessie. Huh?

"Bella, I don't care that you took the picture. That's not why I'm here," Edward told her. He saw confusion cross her face.

"But, you said…" Bella said, confused. Edward gently took her free hand and placed it on his heart.

"I was talking about this. Bella, you took my heart with you when you left. The crazy part is, you always had it, ever since the day we met. I just couldn't let myself see it."

"Oh, Edward.." Bella breathed. She fought the urge to flee. Why now? Why torment me with lies? Haven't you hurt me enough? Another sob escaped her.

"I love you, Bella. I've loved you since that first moment you walked into my parents parlor. You looked so scared, and yet, so beautiful at the same time."

"Edward, I need to tell you something," Bella said quietly. He'll run screaming now. Or worst, call you a liar. Why would he believe you anyway? He can't even remember when the baby was conceived…

and you told him the marriage was never consummated...

"Is this about the baby? Bella, I'd gladly raise it as my own. You have my word on that."

Bella moved Edward's hand down to her stomach. Edward could feel the baby kicking. Bella smiled. "Edward, this baby is your own. You are this baby's father. I haven't lain with anyone else. Only you." Bella watched the shock, then awe cross Edwards face. "This is your child." As if the child could hear her, it kicked more forcefully. Her smile dropped, and Edward saw a blush spreading across her cheeks. "It happened..." she started, but Edward cut her off.

"When I was sick with the influenza?" At her small nod, he continued. "Why did you say the marriage hadn't been consummated, Bella?" Edward asked gently. Bella gasped softly.

"Do you remember?" she asked, avoiding his last question. She was dreading his answer. How much did he remember?

"Yes, I do. Well, until a few moments ago, I wasn't absolutely positive if I had simply hallucinated it because of my illness, or if it had actually happened. Bella...after you left, I started remembering...making love to you. But, I thought it wasn't real because you said...in your letter..." Edward shook his head. "But, the memories persisted. Bella, I never filed an annulment notice. We're still married," Edward told her, staring her in the eye.

Bella's heart began to race wildly. He's still my husband! My child won't be born a bastard. "Do you remember what happened after?" she asked quietly, afraid of his answer.

"No, I don't. The next clear memory I have is waking up to an empty house," he told her honestly.

"You called me "Tanya." You made love to me, and then called me your dead wife's name. I was completely shattered. I knew in that instant that you could never love me. You would always love her. So, to save my heart, I left. And, that's why I lied in the letter. I thought it would be better that way."

Edward stared at her. He had called her Tanya!? He couldn't remember that, no matter how hard he tried. No wonder Bella had left him. He felt like an ass. Can I still win her back? Is it too late?

"Yes, I will always love her," Edward confirmed. Bella's heart broke more than before.

He tells you he loves you, and then admits to still being in love with his wife. Just go back home and forget about me. It'll be better for both of us.

"Tanya gave me a beautiful little girl. I will always love her for that. But, I'm not in love with her anymore," Edward said, stepping toward Bella again. "I'm in love with you, Isabella Cullen."

Don't listen to him. He's lying….

But, I want to believe him so badly….

"Swan," Bella said.

She just has to make this difficult, huh? Well, I'll show her…

Reaching into his pocket, Edward pulled out a familiar looking ring. Bella gasped when she realized it was her wedding ring. Edward got down on one knee in front of her.

"Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever. Would you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?"

"I thought you said we were still married?" Bella asked.

"Marry me again. For all the right reasons this time. You deserve the wedding of your dreams."

"Edward, I love you, too. I want us to be a family. That's all I've ever wanted," Bella said, tears falling onto her cheeks. Edward stood up, and slipped her ring on her finger. Or, rather, he tried to. He couldn't get the ring to go past her knuckle.

"Guess I will have to wait until after the baby comes before I can wear my ring again," Bella said, sighing.

Pulling her as close as her stomach would allow, Edward said, "And after that, it's never going to leave your finger again."

Bella laughed. "No, never," she agreed.

"Bella, no measure of time with you will ever be enough. But, we'll start with forever," Edward promised.

"I can handle forever," Bella agreed, before Edward captured her lips with his own. Pulling away, Bella raised an eyebrow. "I do have a question, though. Why do you always say, "My Bella?"

Edward chuckled and pulled her close. "Because you are my Bella. Always and forever. And, that is never going to change."

Bella sighed, and thought, "I couldn't ask for anything more than that….."

Edward stepped back, and placed his hand on her belly again. "Why didn't you tell me about the baby? Didn't I have the right to know, regardless of the circumstances? Would you really have done it alone?"

Bella's chin dropped. "I didn't tell you, because I knew you wouldn't remember. When I came back here, I was...heartbroken...lost. I wanted to die. I wanted to remember everything...but, I also wanted to forget. And then... I realized I carried your child. And...I started living again...for the baby. Because it's a part of you. And...since I couldn't have you, I knew I had to make sure your child survived."

"As my belly began rounding, I would only go out at night. Under the cover of darkness, I would tell our child about you, repeating everything I knew about you. In those moments, I could almost imagine you beside me. I told the baby about Nessie...and Esme...and Alice. I told it all about how in love with its father I was, and how sorry I was that it would never meet you. And...I promised...that I would never let it feel the sting of bastardry." Bella looked down, blushing. "I fully intended on telling people that you died in Chicago, of influenza."

Edward took her hand. "I did die inside, that day I realized you left. But now, for the first time in months, I finally feel alive again."

Bella smiled. "Me too, my love. Me too..."