Naturally, people were pissed. My siblings were pissed, my principal was pissed, but, most of all, my family was pissed. Or maybe angry and disappointed are better words to describe the general emotional state in the house that afternoon ...

Edward was taken to the emergency room immediately (where I hoped anyone but Carlisle would treat him), and I was brought up to the principals office. Mr. Greene sat behind his large desk, his hands wrapped around his big belly, and spoke pompously about how he had never in all his years seen a student act like this – let alone a young lady! As far as he was concerned, I had shoved or thrown Edward against the door frame, and thus badly injured his shoulder; the possibility of a girl strong enough to crush a person's shoulder with her bare hands never even seemed to cross his mind.

He went on for a long while about the importance of mutual respect and common decency, and I don't know what else. I tuned out after a while. At the end of it all, he explained that he'd have to talk to the school board, but told me I was probably facing suspension for what I'd done. Honestly, I didn't really care about his wrath, or any consequence that he could throw at me. It was my family I was really dreading seeing.

Jasper stood alone waiting for me outside the office, since the others had already headed home. He didn't say much, didn't ask for an explanation, and I stayed clear out of his mind since I didn't want to know what he really thought of me at that moment.

On my request, we decide to walk all the way home instead of having someone come pick us up.

"Do you think he's mad?"

"I'd say disappointed, if anything."

There was a light drizzle today; miniscule droplets falling onto our heads as we walked without haste. I knew to take it slow, because once we got home, there'd probably be hell to pay.

"Alice called, by the way. Said Carlisle had talked to the doctor that treated him. You fractured his shoulder quite badly, it seems. Collarbone's broken."

I didn't answer. My eyes were turned downwards, toward my feet. Toward the asphalt.

"To be honest, Bella," Jasper said quietly. "I'm disappointed in you too. I know I'm not one to talk, but I really thought you were better than this. Sure, you've had it rough, but … I just always figured ..."

"What?" I replied calmly. "That I was … pretending?"

"No, not that. Just that, no matter how messed up you got, you'd never let it go so far as to actually hurt someone."

"I didn't exactly plan to –"

"I know. I'm just saying. It's actually quite frightening."

We reached the house only to find that Carlisle wasn't home yet. To my disdain, this meant I had to wait for him to arrive, all the while having to face the agony of Esme's and the others disappointment, anger and – or so I thought – hatred.

When he finally stepped through the front door and laid eyes on me, he stopped for a long moment and just looked at me. I didn't have the courage to listen to what he was thinking, but I could tell from his eyes, it probably wasn't all that pleasant. I've always said, nothing in the world can make a person feel as bad about herself as Carlisle's look of disapproval.

I felt rotten, pathetic, and completely unworthy of even being in his presence.

I couldn't stand all the eyes looking at me, so I rushed passed them all out into the yard. Sitting down on the wooden bench at the end of the garden, I buried my face in my hands and breathed heavily for a moment.

Screw Edward Cullen. I couldn't care less if his shoulder never healed, but Carlisle disappointment on top of all the others was too much. He had never done anything to hurt me, and yet I continued to fail him. He just wanted me to be happy, but all I ever did was ruin everything.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

"You'll be glad to hear that Edward's shoulder is going to be alright," came a voice from beside me. I didn't look up, and so Carlisle sat down next to me. "But you know as well as I do that you could have seriously injured that boy, Bella."

I saw the vague image of Edward in the other end of one of the hospitals hallways flutter by Carlisle's thoughts. His left arm was bound in an Esmarch bandage.

… just lucky you didn't get the chance to cause more harm than you did … not going to press charges, he said …

"I'm not going to reprimand you I am sure that you are quite aware of how wrong of you it was to exert your power over him like you did. I won't punish you; I'm sure you've already punished yourself more than enough. But I do want to remind you of one thing, Bella. Remember the conversation we had, where you said that happiness is created? Well, the same can be said for unhappiness. In the end, we are as happy as we think we deserve to be. I want you to really think about the decisions you make, and how they affect you and the people around you, before – "

"Fuck it, I didn't mean to hurt him, Carlisle," I blurt out, tears now falling from my eyes. "You have to know that. I'm sorry, I keep letting you down, but I –"

"The only person you have let down is yourself, Bella, and I think you know that. I love you – we all do – but seeing you continually cause yourself so much harm is beginning to take its toll on us. We want to help you so bad, but we can't. The change has to come from within you. We can't do it for you, but we will always be here beside you when you need support."

… just want you to become happy again … don't want you to be in pain any more … if there was anything I could do for you, I'd do it in a heartbeat … love you, but hate seeing you like this ...

I was sobbing now, leaning my head against his shoulder. His hand came up to my neck, clutching it softly.

"I don't know – what's wrong – with me," I said in between sobs. "I can't –"

"Nothing is wrong with you, my darling child. It is just a little bit harder for you to find peace, is all. Your soul is a restless one. But you'll get there; I swear that you will."

He pressed his lips against my forehead and let me cry for a while. All was quiet around us.