"Oh fuck my life..." I say feeling my heart drop down to the floor when Spencer didn't pick up the phone. I can hear Emily apologizing to me over and over but at the same time I can't hear a word she's saying.
It's as if everything around me is out of focus except for the phone that I'm staring at. Not even a second passes when I snap out of my daze and whatever I was feeling is replaced by panic. Just straight panic.
I can feel Spencer's brain coming up with all these different scenarios about why Emily is here and I know she's assuming the worst considering what happen with Madison and Katie.
I quickly snatch the phone up again and dial Spencer's number knowing she has it turned off.
"Ash, you have to calm down."
"Calm down?! You expect me to calm down?" I look at her like she's crazy. I stand up and start pacing my room breathing a little heavy. Great. All I need now is a full-blown panic attack. I stop pacing for a second and face my friend. "You shouldn't picked up the phone! What were you thinking?!" I ask pointing a finger at her.
"Whoa.. ok.." She says calmly getting up as well. "You are not gonna be mad at me for this. We we're both asleep. How was I suppose to know..." Emily trails off.
"Shit..." I collapse back on the bed and close my eyes as I rub my face already feeling a headache.
I felt Emily sit next to me . "Look, she probably just needs time to cool off.." She says trying to reassure me. I felt her hand on my leg and I instantly recoil. "Uhhh... yeah.." Emily says getting up. "I gotta get home and get ready for school. You still want me to pick you up?"
I nodded yes, even though I know I should just say no.
"I'll see you later." My friend says. I can see her thinking about giving me a hug, but deciding against it and awkwardly laughing in the process. "Bye Ashley."
–
Emily did pick me up for school like she say she would and an uncomfortable car ride later we were at school.
Thank God, I live close to the school.
We're sitting at one of the tables drinking our coffee in silence waiting for the bell to ring or for Katie to show up, whichever happens first..
During this time I've tried to call Spencer and I've had to have left her at least ten messages. I'm about to cross the imaginary pathetic line here soon.
Katie sat down and instantly went off on a rant about homework and whatever else pops into her mind. I'm not really paying attention but I did add a few "mhm's and oh's" here and there. She stops talking and surveys us both. "OK, why are you two being weird?"
Emily and I glanced at each other and she gives me another one of her reassuring smiles as I sigh looking away.
"Did you two have sex or something?" Katie asks us jokingly and I couldn't help but cringe. Her eyes went wide and she was about to say something when Emily cut her off.
"No, we didn't. Stop being crazy."
"So what's the matter?" She questions us seriously this time.
"Ashley and Spencer got into a fight." Emily tells our friend. I don't really feel like talking right now.
"About what?" Katie asks, genuinely surprised. I can't say that I'm not surprised too. Spencer and I never fight... well, there was this one time we almost fought, but I did something sweet to quickly change that.
"You." I tell Katie simply. This Madison and Katie thing is really putting a damper on our relationship. Spencer is acting like I'm the one that slept with Madison.
"What'd I do?" Katie asks confused.
"You fucked her best friends Kat." Emily chimes in, shaking her head. "I mean for once, you couldn't just keep it in your pants. You knew the girl had a girlfriend." Emily adds, shaking her head at her best friend disapprovingly.
"Since when do I give a fuck about a girl having a girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter. If Madison didn't want it, she should have stopped it, plain and simple." Katie says matter of factly with a shrug, just as the bell rings.
"You don't have to be a fucking asshole about it!" I snap at her getting up from the table. Does she really feel that way?
I saw her soften up a little, dropping the cocky attitude.
"I..." Katie says looking regretful.
"Never mind." I say with a sigh, sitting back down. I'm more worried about what's going on with me and Spencer right now.
"I'm sure she'll be okay after she's had some time to think it over." Emily leans over and whispers in my ear as we get up from the table. She rubs my arm affectionately, and oddly it soothes me.
"You two love birds coming or what?" Katie turns around and asks. Emily drops her hand and links our arms together and we walk to class. "Can you not be such an asshole right now?" Emily added, addressing Katie again.
"I'm sorry, Ash." Katie apologizes and I just shrug and give her a sad smile.
Luckily school went by extra quick.
I tried calling Spencer at least ten times during classes but she still had her phone turned off.
After school I had Emily drop me off at my house, she wanted to stay for a while and make sure I was okay but honestly, I just didn't feel like having company. Especially not when the company is someone Spencer isn't too fond of right now.
I quickly made my way into the house and up to my room. I kick my shoes off and flop down on my bed, taking out my phone to try to call Spencer again... and again... and again...
Like twenty more times to be exact.
Her phone is still off and I'm going crazy.
"Ugh!" I scream out in frustration. I hate this. I hate not being able to just talk to her and fix this. To go over to her house and make shit better.
"Ashley are you even paying attention to me?" Spencer asks. I stop doing my homework and look at her.
"I'm sorry baby, what'd you say?"
"Forget it." She says and gets up from the bed, clearly she's upset with me.
"I'm sorry Spencer, I promise to pay attention this time." I tell her but she waves me off.
"It's fine." Obviously it's not though.
"I'm just gonna go home." She says putting on her shoes. I grab my phone to look at the time.
"But it's not even five yet." I tell her and she shrugs.
"I'm tired anyways."
"You can take a nap here." I point out. I get up from my bed and stop her before she puts the other foot in her shoe. "Spencer, whats this really about, because I know you're not this upset with me over not listening to you this one time." I say and she sighs, forcefully putting her last shoe on and getting up.
"That's just it Ash. This isn't the first time. Where have you been lately, you space out so much. I feel like I'm in a relationship with two different people." She says a bit above her normal speaking voice.
"That's not true. I'm here." I counter and she just shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Truth is, Spencer's right. I have been a little preoccupied lately. Maybe it's because I just found out that we're leaving again. My dad got new orders and we're going to Ft. Jackson within the next two months. I haven't figured out how or when to tell Spencer so I've buried myself in homework and spacing on conversations.
"See!" Spencer says and storms out.
"Shit." I say and chase after her.
"I'll call you tomorrow Ashley, I just need some space to think." She says and I hate when people say that. It usually means one of two things; either you're about to break up with that person or you're thinking about breaking up with that person. Either way, it sucks.
"Spence." I try, but to no avail...she's already gone.
Immediately after she left I ran upstairs put my shoes on and got in my car to go after her. I was gonna tell her about us moving soon and I definitely didn't want her to be upset with me when I did it. On the way to her house I stopped at Empty Vase Florist and picked up two dozen red and white roses. Spencer's favorite.
When I showed up at her house I rang the door bell and her mom answered.
"Spencer's in her room." She said with a wide grin, moving aside so I could step in.
"Thank you Mrs. Carlin." I told her as I climbed the stairs.
"And Ashley." She called after me. I stopped and turned to face her. "Those are very lovely." She said and walked into the kitchen. I smiled then finished going up the stairs to Spencer's room. I knocked on the door only to be told to go away. She must have heard me pull up.
"Spencer I'm sorry, please just open the door." I beg her but she doesn't budge. "Spence, I really need to explain how sorry I am." I tell her and I can hear her stand up from the bed.
"Talk then." She says but doesn't open the door.
"I don't want to tell you this through the door Spence." I say and I hear her shuffle towards the door. I ready myself and the flowers. She opens the door and goes to speak but no words come out. "I love you, and I'm not giving you these roses to make up for the way I've acted, I'm giving them to you simply because I love you." I tell her and she just looks back between me and the flowers for a minute before a small smile breaks on her lips.
"I love you too." She tells me and pulls me into a hug.
–
I take out my phone and call Spencer's mom. Maybe she can help me talk some sense into Spencer. Or at least get her to talk to me.
"Hello." Mrs. Carlin answers and I can feel the tears building in my eyes. I guess everything is really starting to get to me and hearing Mrs. Carlin's voice only reminds me of home... the one I left behind.
"Hey Mrs. Carlin." I reply.
"Oh hello Ashley, how are you?" She asks and I can't hold back the tears anymore. Am I seriously crying on the phone with Spencer's mom right now. "Ashley sweetie, what's the matter?" Mrs. Carlin asks and I try and gather myself to tell her.
"Spencer and I are having a fight." I tell her honestly.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that sweetheart."
"She thinks that..." I pause and choose my next works carefully. I mean this is Spencer's mom for goodness sake. "My friend Emily stayed over last night and she um... she answered my phone this morning after Spencer and I had gotten into a fight last night so I think Spencer thinks that..."
"Say no more." She cuts me off. "Have you tried calling her dear?" She asks I nod, realizing she can't see me I give her and audible answer.
"Yes." I say.
"And she won't answer her phone?" She questions.
"No ma'am." I tell her.
"Well I'm sure she's probably just giving herself time to cool door so she won't say or do anything irrational." Mrs. Carlin tries to assure me.
"I'm sure you're right." I say trying to calm myself down, now that I've stopped crying. "When you see her, could you just tell her to call me?" I ask.
"Okay Ashley. Here she is right here, hold on one second." She tells me and then I can't hear her anymore. I'm assuming she's covering the phone to talk to Spencer. After a few moments she comes back to the phone. "Ashley, Spencer's indisposed at the moment, I will have her give you a call back." She tells me and I let out a sigh before saying,
"Okay. Could you tell her that I really love her." I say and I can feel the tears building again.
"Will do Ashley. Bye bye." She says politely to me and we hang up.
I think I cried myself to sleep last night. I don't really remember anything after the conversation with Mrs. Carlin. All I know is that when I woke up I had four missed calls and text from Emily, some text from Katie but nothing from Spencer. I guess calling her mom didn't work.
I got up and showered then got dressed for school. I texted Emily and told her that I would just drive myself to school for the rest of the week. She told me she understood.
"So still nothing?" Emily asks as we all sit at the lunch table.
I look down at my phone before answering, "Nope."
"Maybe you should just give her some space." Katie suggests.
"What for? I didn't do anything. If she would just give t a chance to explain that to her..."
"Girls are like that sometimes, Ash. You know, they're hot then they're cold, they're yes then they're no. They're in then they're out, they're up then they're down." Katie says with a serious face and Emily and I can't help but burst out laughing.
"You did not just quote Katy Perry lyrics to me." I say laughing at my friend.
"Truer shit has never been spoken though." She says with a serious face before we all burst into laughter.
"You know that song was written about a guy right?" Emily asks and Katie scratches her head.
"You don't say." She says looking confused.
I seriously can't even deal with these two. The bell rang signaling the end of lunch. We got up, dumped our trays and headed to our last couple of classes.
–
In last period Emily wrote a note and tossed it on my desk.
'I have no clue why I'm helping you get her back when clearly I should be swooping in and stealing you away. ;)' The note read and I turned and looked at Emily who was suppressing a smile, before reading the rest of the note. 'Why don't you do something really sweet for her, like send her some flowers or something, she can't stay mad at you if you send her flowers and chocolate.'
'Total cliché don't you think?' I wrote and tossed it back to her.
'Okay well, do something you know she'll love.'
'I'm guessing you have no other ideas besides the ones you've seen on lifetime movie channel right?' I laugh softly as I toss her the note back.
'Ha! Funny. And don't knock it til you've tried it. That's quality television.' She wrote back.
'Can we not talk about this and get back to how I'm gonna get my girlfriend back.' I write then toss it back to her.
'You started it.' She tossed me back the note. I shake my head and smile.
"Ms. Davies, Ms. Martinez , do you have something you'd like to share with the class?" The teacher asks and we both quickly shake our heads no as the entire class turns and faces us. Katie couldn't help but laugh at us. "Well then I'd suggest you keep the chatter to a minimum and pay attention to the lesson." We both nod and pretend to listen to the rest of the lecture.
–
"How about you send her a singing telegram." Emily suggests as we lay on my bed. We've been throwing out ideas ever since we got home from school.
"Yeah, okay. If it was the 1900s maybe. I mean do they even still do that?" I ask and she shakes her head and laughs.
"I don't know, maybe."
"This is impossible." I tell her, sitting up. "Everything I do will seem cliché." I say and she nods.
"That's true."
"Ugh! Why do I have to be all the way on the other side of the world!" I yell out in frustration and fall back on my bed.
"Just do something that's special to Spencer, somethings that's personal even if it is a cliché." Emily suggests.
"I got it!" I say springing up from the bed.
"Okay." Emily says giggling a bit at me.
"Don't laugh, this is a great idea." I assure her, grabbing my laptop on the desk to look up a number.
"I'm sure it is." She says smiling.
Spencer will love this...