"I Thought About Callin You (Callin You). But I Changed My Mind. The Moment I Thought About What You Do To Me, Every time. I'm Trying To Come Home And See Ya You actin' like you can't make no time for me. So I'm Puttin Down This Receiver. Cause If You Don't Know By Now Just How Much I Need Ya. Then You Never Know How I Feel. This Is Only Gonna Change If You Let It. And It's Real. So If You Don't Do What I Ask Of You. Oh Whoa Oh Boy I'm Still Missing You So Bad It's Pathetic. I'm For Real. See I Need More Than Your Guarantees. Boy You're Losing Me ." Brandy blares from my speakers.
This is the second straight day that I haven't spoken to Ashley.
I know... I feel it too.
It's just, I'm so mad at her that I don't know what to do. I wanna be over all this, I wanna just move on and pretend like none of this ever happened.
But it did.
So I can't.
Knowing that Emily slept in the same bed as Ashley, my Ashley it makes me so mad.
"You Used To Be So Attentive. Call Me At Least Twice A Day. But Now I Have No Support, No Incentive. To Keep Me Loving You This Way. I Sit Alone, Wait In Patience. For You Return To Me, And I Can't Believe Just As Long As You Take It. If You Don't Know By Now What Mistake You're Making." I sing along with the second verse.
How true is this shit right here...
"Spencer get up and get ready for school." My mom peeks her head in my room and tells me. I don't dare protest. I just get up from bed and start getting ready. After getting ready I head downstairs to the kitchen.
"I'm guessing you didn't call Ashley like you said you would last night." My mom says, putting some orange juice and a bagel in front of me. I shake my head as I take a bite from my bagel. "Spencer you really should call her. You didn't hear the desperation in her yesterday when I talked to her." My mom says and I sigh.
"I have nothing to say to her." I tell my mom taking another bite of my bagel.
"So you two have broken up then?" She asks I shrug, but don't say anything. "I'm guessing that's a no. Look Spencer," She says in her motherly voice, walking around the counter and taking a seat on the stool next to me. "I know that you're upset right now and things may seem a bit confusing, but you love Ashley, I know it, you know it. So save yourself all this misery and just call her." She gives me a small smile before kissing me on my forehead and heading out of the kitchen.
Ugh!
Why do mothers always have to be right?
After finishing my bagel an OJ I grab my bag and head to school.
–
"You look like shit." I tell Madison and she comes into class and takes a seat next to me.
"Oh good." She gives me a fake smile. "I look better than I feel." She adds as she takes her notebook and pencil from her bag.
"That makes one of us."
"You still haven't called her Spencer?" Madison asks in a surprised tone.
"Nope." I shake my head as Jade comes into class. I nod my head in the direction of the door to let Madison know. Jade keeps her head down and eyes anywhere that's not in the direction of Madison and takes a seat in the front of the class.
"How long can she ignore me?" Madison turns and asks me.
"I don't..." I start then trail off, Madison gets up from her desk and walks to the front of the class.
"You can't ignore me forever Jade." She tells her as the teacher walks in. "I'm not gonna stop trying until you talk to me." She tells Jade who is clearly trying her hardest to ignore her.
"Ms. Duarte take your seat please." The teacher tells Madison who just ignores him.
"Jade please, this is killing me." Madison says and I know she's about to cry because her voice cracked.
"Ms. Duarte I won't ask you again." Mr. Flemming says but Madison still isn't listening. She's headed towards a weeks worth of detention.
"I don't care." She snaps at him. Uh-oh. "Jade will you just look at me?!" She half yells. That was the last straw for Mr. Flemming.
"Office. Now Ms. Duarte." He tells Madison who continues to kneel in front of Jade who still isn't looking at her. Mr. Flemming goes to say something else but I jump up and interrupt him.
"I got her." I tell him, collecting my things and tossing them into my backpack. "Come on Mads." I tell her, trying to pull her away from Jade and out the class. Mr. Flemming doesn't stop me and I'm sure he knows that I'm not coming back. I think he was just glad he didn't have to remove Madison himself. "Are you trying to get suspended?" I ask Madison as we walk to the principal's office. Madison doesn't say anything she just burst out crying. We divert from the path we were on and head into the girls bathroom. "You wanna leave?" I ask her as I wipe her tears away with a paper towel. She nods and I don't think twice before ushering her out of the bathroom towards the parking lot to my car. We're probably gonna get in so much trouble for this but really, who cares...
–
We decided to go to Madison's house after ditching school.
Her mother won't be home until well past seven tonight, so we knew we didn't have to worry about that.
"How did shit get so messed up." Madison says softly as we lay on her bed listening to Usher.
"Mads, I hate to be an asshole but you kinda went and fucked someone else."
"I know." She says softly.
"And then continued to text her." I add unnecessarily.
Madison sighs before rolling over and grabbing her phone off the dresser. "Should I text her again?" She asks.
"No Mads. Just let her have some space." I tell her and she lets out a loud grunt.
"I can't take this anymore." She says getting up from the bed, putting back on her shoes.
"Mads, what are you doing?" I ask a bit concerned.
"I'm going back to the school." Huh?
"But we just left there." I point out, scratching my head in confusion.
"I'm gonna make her listen to me, I don't care what I have to do." Madison says and starts to walk towards the door.
Okay no, I'm not letting her do this.
"Madison no." I say, leaping off the bed and practically football tackling her.
"What the-"
"You are not going back there, Mads!" I tell her firmly.
"But I gotta talk to Jade!" She says trying to push me off of her.
"No!" I exclaim.
"Get off me Spencer."
"I'm not letting you go back to school and make a fool of yourself Mads." I tell her and she sighs. She knows I'm right. The best thing for her to do right now is let Jade have some space.
"You're crushing my spleen." She says through a forced breath. I roll off of her and stand up, holding out my hand to help her up too.
"At least I crushed something you don't need." I tell her with a smile and she rolls her eyes playfully and takes a seat back on the bed.
"Fuck you Katie Marin!" Madison yells as she flops back on her bed.
I couldn't agree more.
–
"Spencer would you like to explain to me why I received a phone call from the school saying you missed all of your classes today?" My mother questions me before I can even get all the way in the house. I sigh and make my way into the kitchen.
"Holy crap!" I say when I enter the kitchen. On the table there's very large Edible Arrangement, a dozen white and red roses, two teddy bears, a balloon that said I'm sorry and a card.
"Never mind that." My mom says snapping my attention back to her. "Why weren't you at school today Spencer?" She asks in a serious tone. I might as well just tell her the truth.
"Madison really needed me mom." I tell her truthfully. She looks at me like 'you better keep talking before I go ape shit on your ass.' "She tried to talk to Jade and things got out of hand, if I didn't intervene and get her out of there she would have been looking at a weeks suspension." I tell her.
"So you decided to get involved and almost get suspended yourself?" She asks raising a brow.
"We've been friends forever mom, what else could I do?" I ask seriously. I mean, I wasn't just gonna leave Madison high and dry, no matter what the consequence could be for me.
"We're gonna talk about this later, I have to go back to work." She tells me, grabbing her bag off the counter and heading towards the door. "That came for you a little while ago." She throws over her shoulder before walking out the door.
I immediately run over to the table to look at all the stuff.
The Edible Arrangement is shaped like a heart with all my favorite fruits and next to it is another box that says Edible Arrangements on it. I open it and it's chocolate covered strawberries arranged like a dozen roses. I couldn't help but swoon. I didn't have to read the card to know who all this was from.
I pick up the two bears, one with a heart on it's chest that says I'm sorry and the other one with a heart that says I love you. I run my fingers over the red and white roses, I can't help the small smile that escapes my lips.
I finally pick up the card and open it. 'I was thinking I was kinda going overboard but...who the hell cares. Spencer, I love you and since you won't return any of my calls I had to get your attention some how. Please, just call me so I can explain everything. I swear it's not what you think. Just call me Spencer.'
See what she does? She does impossibly sweet shit so you can't stay mad at her.
She's so good at that.
Ugh!
I grab the two Edible Arrangements and put them in the fridge then trudge up the stairs with the rest of the stuff.
I hate this fight we're having and I really should just call her and listen to what she has to say, but really all I'm being is stubborn.
When I get in my room I put all the stuff on my desk and lay down on my bed.
Why can't she just be here, then things would be so much easier.
I look over at the gifts and can't stop the smile that appears on my lips.
Yeah, it's definitely time to at least hear what she has to say. I take my phone out of my pocket and press two on my speed dial. I don't think the phone rang once before she picked up.
"Hello." She said frantically.
I pause for a moment before returning a greeting. I'm not really sure what to say here. Normally, I'd say 'hey baby how was your day?' But then again she wouldn't normally answer the phone with a 'hello'.
"Hey Ash." I settle on. Formal, yet intimate.
"Spencer, I..." She pauses like she's searching for the right words to say. I move the phone to my other ear and lay back down on the bed. She clears her throat and starts again. "I'm not really sure what this fight is about..." She says then clears her throat again, realizing that probably wasn't the best way to start this. I keep quiet and I know she's probably nervous and freaking out because of it. "Spencer, I love you." She says firmly. I smile a little. "I love you and I hate this. I hate not talking to you and I hate that you're upset with me. I hate that I somehow possibly may have hurt your feelings. I don't wanna fight with you anymore and being on the other side of the country doesn't help. I just want us to go back to being awesome." She finishes, releasing a puff of air, eliciting an even bigger smile from me. "Spence?" She questions after a moment of silence from me.
"I'm not mad at you." I say finally. "I was never mad at you."
"Then what-"
"This distance I think is killing me. I just... I need you here and you're not and so I was mad. And then Emily answering your phone-"
"Spencer she-"
"Just let me finish." I cut her off.
"Kay." She says softly.
"When Emily answered your phone, I think I just lost it. Not because I think that something may have happened between the two of you but because she's there and gets you. She gets the part of you that I can't have cause you're all the way in South Carolina. So I was angry. I was angry and I took it out on you."
"Can I..." Ashley trails off and I realize she's waiting for me to be done.
"Yeah, I'm done." I tell her.
"I never meant to make you feel like you didn't have all of me Spence. I'm sorry that I'm here and not there with you cause God knows that I wanna be. I hate being this far away from you and when you got off punishment I should have been better about talking to you. So I'm really sorry for that. Did you get my-"
"Yes." I cut her off again. "I love it." I tell her honestly.
"Good." She says and I can hear the smile in her voice. "It took me all day and night yesterday to figure out what to send." She tells me.
"Well, like I said." I say getting up and walking over to my desk where my gifts are. "I love it." I say, picking up the bear that holds the 'I Love You' heart and hugging it. "I really miss you Ash." I say softly, sitting back down on the bed.
"I know baby." She says and my breath hitches a bit. I missed hearing that word coming out of her mouth. "I miss you too." She tells me and I can feel the tears building. I guess I didn't realize just how much I missed talking to her.
I refuse to cry right now. "I'm gonna call you later k?" I tell her and she sighs.
"Promise?" She says in a tone that almost makes my heart melt.
"I promise baby." I assure her.
"I love you." She tells me.
"I love you more." I reply before hanging up. I toss my phone on the nightstand before laying back on my bed and closing my eyes. I hug the teddy bear tighter and think of Ashley as I drift off to sleep.