I woke up crackishly early. I just couldn't sleep anymore. I was too excited to order Spencer's "surprise." I'm really hoping she likes it.
I already ordered the flowers, bears and a card that goes along with it. Now I'm putting in my credit card information to pay for the Edible Arrangements that I also ordered.
I know you might be thinking I'm going over board with all of this but I'm really not.
I've tried calling her and texting her.
I even went as far as calling Paula.
That was so embarrassing, I'd rather not relieve it.
I put my credit card back in my wallet and realized it's not even six a.m yet.
I feel oddly wired without the help of coffee.
I took a shower and got ready for school.
Ugh, it's only 6:20.
Still too early.
I pulled my phone off the charger and called Emily.
"Good morning!" I say into the phone.
I heard Emily mumble something unintelligent.
"Would you like to repeat that?" I ask spinning around in my computer chair.
Weee.
"I said this better be fucking important." She says a tad bit angry on the phone.
"I can't sleep. You wanna go to breakfast?" I ask practically jumping in my seat.
Note to self no coffee.
"Ashley. It's six in the morning. I don't wake up til eight..."
"...yeah but you're coming anyways right?" I say already knowing the answer.
"Yeah.. yeah.. give me a half hour."
"Yay!"
"Ashley! Tone it down!" She said with a sigh and hung up the phone.
–
"These vanilla scones are life!" I exclaim to the entire Starbucks as I take another bite of this wonderful creation.
"What the fuck has you in such a good mood?" Emily yawns and takes another sip of her coffee.
As you probably already guess we're at Starbucks and the Caramel Macchiato I had just made me more crackish.
I can feel myself twitching.
"Mmmm..." I say licking my fingers. "What did you say?" I look at my friend who's suddenly wide awake looking at me like, for the lack of a better phrase, she wants to eat me. I roll my eyes which made her smile.
"I asked why you're in a good mood?"
"Oh, I ordered Spencer's surprise earlier and I don't know..." I say letting my sentence die before taking a sip of my coffee.
"You're cute you know that."
For the second time with in a span of a minute, I roll my eyes at my friend which she just laughs off.
"How mad do you think Katie will be if we wake her up right now?" I ask trying to steer the subject away from.. where ever it was about to go.
"Um.." Emily says pretending to think it over. "Just about livid. Let's do it!" She says with a devious smile, taking out her phone and calling Katie. "Hmm, she didn't pick up. Let's keep calling shall we?"
Emily says this like she actually wants me to answer her.
"Katie! Wake up! Fuck you! No! Fine!" Emily says I don't even wanna know what Katie is saying on the other side of the call. She hangs up with a satisfied smile on her face. "She said she'll see us at school."
We both laugh knowing that's not everything she said.
"I don't know how you guys put up with each other."
–
"I fucking hate both of you! Like I can seriously murder you two right now!" Katie says as she approaches us at school.
"Huh? What did I do?" I ask my friend who is glaring at both me and Emily. "I'm not the one that called you..."
"Yeah but I know you were apart of it, Ashley. You're not as innocent as you appear." Katie gives me an accusatory glare. The last thing she says rubs me the wrong way. But I just ignore it cause no one is gonna ruin my mood. I haven't been in a good mood in days.
"Calm the fuck down.. It was a joke. You know, ha ha?" Emily says not the least bit interested in Katie's tantrum.
"You out of all people should know I hate being woken up. Ugh!" Katie says slamming her locker shut.
"Yeah and? Are you done now?" She asks her friend as she busily texts someone on the phone.
"Yeah, I'm great now actually." Katie's mood shifts when she sees Jodi coming closer. "Bye guys. I'll see you hoes at lunch!" She leaves us to meet her... what is Jodi actually? Her girlfriend? Whatever.
The rest of day was a breeze.
The quickest that it's ever been.
I think it's because I'm so excited for Spencer to get her gift.
–
We're at my house now.
Emily and Ashton are busy playing NBA 2k12 throwing curses at each other.
I'm laying on the couch reading a book. I have my phone on my chest just in case Spencer calls.
What am I saying?
I know she'll call today.
My gift is good enough for her to call right?
"So, how did you do on that Math test?" Emily asks me keeping her eye on the game.
"Emily attention!" My brother yells.
"Ehh, a solid C plus I'm sure." I say putting my book down.
"You should have texted me. I took the test before you. I could have helped you cheat." Emily tells me
"Oh well thanks for telling me after the fact bitch!"
"Emily, are you gonna keep talking or are you gonna pay attention to the game?!" My bother asks clearly upset. He hates to lose and I think Emily has beat him twice since we got home.
"Calm down." Emily says and I'm sure she rolls her eyes too. "... and I beat you again. Would you look at that."
"Fuck this!" Aston throws the controller and runs up to his room.
"Language!" I yell after him laughing.
"Fuck you Ash!" He yells back at me.
"Aww what a sweet sibling moment I just witnessed." Emily says sarcastically as she clutches at her heart. She gets up off the floor and sits on the other side of the couch. "So you really think she'll call today?"
"Yeah." I say without hesitation.
"What makes you so sure?"
"I just have a feeling..." I say with a smile, and went to grabbing my phone off my chest, when suddenly it starts to ring in my hand!
Oh my God!
It's Spencer!
See, what'd I tell you.
Fuck, I'm nervous.
What if she didn't like my gifts?
What if she's calling to break up with me?
Oh my god!
I'm freaking out!
My eyes widen staring at my ringing phone.
From the corner of my eye I see Emily scooting closer leaning to see my phone.
"Holy shit!" She says in amazement. "Fuck you waiting for! Pick up!"
That snaps me out of my 'freak out' I slide to answer and put the phone to my ear.
"Hello." I say with a frantic edge to my voice which made me cringe.
"Hey Ash.."
It took a moment for Spencer to speak again, for a second I wondered if she'd hung up or not. I pulled my phone away from my ear and looked to make sure.
I guess she's just as nervous as me.
I saw Emily gesture that she was leaving and I nod and refocusing on Spencer.
"Spencer, I..." I need to get this out before she starts talking. I don't even know if she's calling me to break up or not so I might as well just go for it. Only if I can figure out the right thing to say. "I'm not really sure what this fight is about..." I cringe and clear my throat. That's definitely not how I want to start off. I need to calm down. "Spencer, I love you.." I say and my nervous feeling slightly dies down. I'm just gonna let my heart speak for me. "I love you and I hate this. I hate not talking to you and I hate that you're upset with me. I hate that I somehow possibly may have hurt your feelings. I don't wanna fight with you anymore and being on the other side of the country doesn't help. I just want us to go back to being awesome." I release a breath I didn't know I was holding after my whole rant. As you can tell once I got started there is no way I could stop. I wait for her to respond but nothing. I look at the phone again to make sure she didn't hang up. Nope she's still there. "Spence?"
"I'm not mad at you. I was never mad at you." She says after a few seconds of silence.
Wait.. what?
"This distance I think is killing me. I just... I need you here and you're not and so I was mad. And then Emily answering your phone..."
"Spencer she-"
"Just let me finish." She said cutting me off. "When Emily answered your phone, I think I just lost it. Not because I think that something may have happened between the two of you but because she's there and gets you. She gets the part of you that I can't have cause you're all the way in South Carolina. So I was angry. I was angry and I took it out on you."
"Can I..." I ask not knowing if she's finish with what she has to say.
"Yeah, I'm done." she tells me
"I never meant to make you feel like you didn't have all of me Spence. I'm sorry that I'm here and not there with you cause God knows that I wanna be. I hate being this far away from you and when you got off punishment I should have been better about talking to you. So I'm really sorry for that. Did you get my-"
"Yes, I love it." Spencer says cutting me of.
"Good." I can feel myself smiling like an idiot. Only Spencer... "It took me all day and night yesterday to figure out what to send."
"Well, like I said. I love it." I heard her moving around and I just wish I was there right now. "I really miss you Ash."
"I know baby. I miss you too."
Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna cry right now.
Being away from her fucking sucks so much.
It hurts.
"I'm gonna call you later ok?" Spencer says and sigh.
"Promise?"
I really wanna talk to her more.
I miss her voice. I miss her everything.
"I promise baby." She says reassuring me.
"I love you.."
"I love you more baby." She replies which makes my heart flutter and she hangs up.
I place my phone back on the couch and saw Emily coming back into the living room.
"All good?" She asks with a smile.
"Yes!" I exclaim jumping up and giving her a hug.
"Yay!" She says hugging me back
Why I'm giving her a hug I don't know.
I'm just so happy.
Then I realize we're skating on very dangerous territory.
I pull back, Emily's eyes immediately zero in on my lips.
Suddenly there's an awkward energy in the air.
...oh look, you see that passing by?
It's our friend the awkward turtle.
"I'm so happy for you." She says breaking her gaze and her hold on me.
"Thanks."
She seems genuinely happy for me which is good.
"Come let me school you on this game before I leave." She says sitting down on the floor and firing up the game.
And just like that the weird vibe that blanketed us is gone and replaced with just a normal friend vibe.
"Oh you don't want none of this.." I say grabbing the remote of the floor.
It feels good to know that everything is back as it should be...