"…So what's this one here?"

"New York."

"And?"

"The capital is…uh…Albany!"

"Good! So about this one right here-"

"Montana!"

"Right! So if that's Montana, then the capital is….c'mon, you know the drill…"

"Um…it's…."

"You want a hint-"

"Helena! The capital is Helena!" the nine-year-old gasped elatedly out as the answer finally came to him, to which his lanky redheaded tutor broke out into a massive grin.

"Oooh, almost got you that time, didn't I?" Frances "Frankie" Foster teased as she gave him a quick pat on the head.

"Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! No way!" Mac laughed, playfully batting her hand away as he stuck out his tongue. "I just had to wait a second, I knew it alllll along!"

"Ha! Says you!" The caretaker countered, blowing a sloppy raspberry at her pupil. "Well, Mister Scholar, if you think you know everything there is, then I guess there's no need for us to review anymor- quick, what's this one here?" she barked, jabbing at a particular landmass in the large atlas they were using for a makeshift study guide.

"Arkansas! And its capital is Little Rock!" Mac fired right back with a comically jubilant smirk.

"Perfect!" Frankie whooped, giving her student a celebratory high-five. "I know a certain someone who's gonna get an A-plus on their test on state capitals tomorrow!" she crooned in a comical singsong manner.

"Hey, can we do a few more?" The chestnut-haired child eagerly inquired, squirming about excitedly where he laid seated Indian-style upon the floor. The young woman cocked her head curiously as she began to close the book.

"More?" she grunted incredulously. "Mac, I think we've done every state at least three times, there's really only so man timesy I can ask where Denver is--"

"Please?" The boy begged, clasping his lightly hands tightly. "C'mon, Frankie, just a couple more? Like, five or six, and then I'll be all set, I promise!"

"Well…" the girl paused to muse over this for a few moments before breaking out into a wan grin as she cracked the atlas back open. "Okay, you win. But only a few more, and then it's time for you to get your butt in bed, you hear me?"

"Yup! Got it!" Mac trilled happily, forcing a few laughs out of the redhead.

"Haha! If I had a quarter for every time I've seen someone get this excited over geography…I'd have exactly twenty-five cents." She teased as they continued their review. "Okay, now can you name this big one for me here, and tell me-"

"Easy!" the boy yelped upon instant recognition. "It's-"

"CANADA!"

Immediately Frankie's bedroom was shrouded in complete silence upon the abrupt mention of the random nation. For a few horrendously awkward moments, both child and young woman just gawked at each other quietly; each of them furiously trying to figure out whether what they had just heard was a hallucinatory by-product of far too much studying one evening or not.

"…Wait, Bloo, what did you just say?" Mac asked confoundedly, not even needing to turn his head to confirm that it indeed the moronically grinning azure blob standing in the doorway. Beaming triumphantly from nonexistent ear to nonexistent ear, the little imaginary friend paraded happily into the room.

"Ha! I totally beat you on that one!" he bragged unashamedly, puffing out his little chest in a surge of pride.

"Uh…" His stunned creator murmured dumbly.

"Oooh, what's the matter, Mr. Boy-Genius?" Bloo sniggered, prodding his best friend in the arm. "Huh? Can't take it that I managed to totally floor you on your own turf?"

"That you managed what?" The utterly perplexed Frankie muttered, the blob's self-sung praises thoroughly confusing her. "Wait, what are you talking abou-"

"Pfft!" The tremendously immodest little creature scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "Oh, yeah right! You just don't wanna admit that after all the work you've done, I came in and totally owned your star pupil like that! Heehee, where's all your precious study-time now, Miss World's Greatest Tutor?"

For what felt like an eternity, the duo just stared blankly at the extraordinarily arrogant imaginary friend until Mac finally corrected flatly, "…Bloo…that's not Canada, that's California."

"Oh, yeah, nice try!" Bloo guffawed. "Can't fool me, that's so definitely-"

"California, that's the state of California." Frankie reiterated steadfastly before attempting to leave it at that as she tried to resume the study session. Unfortunately, rather than drop the subject, to the caretaker's annoyance Bloo began hooting exuberantly while beaming so brightly he nearly lit up the whole room.

"Hahahaha! Looks like Tweedledum and Tweedledumber are as bright as a couple of rocks when it comes to basic geogeraphrahy."

At this Frankie promptly broke out into a wry grimace, looking disgusted with the figment's atrocious ignorance at this point. "You did not just say-"

"I'm afraid so, Mister and Missus Smarty-Pants." Bloo joyfully mocked the pair. "I just one-upped the both of you. Ha, whadya say to that? Hmm? Looks like you two have a looooong way to go before you're done here, by the looks of it."

As the nitwit of an imaginary friend smiled foolishly in his triumph, once again the room became so eerily quiet one could hear a strand of hair drop.

"Bloo…" Frankie began in a low whisper.

"Yeah?"

"CANADA IS NOT A STATE!" The exasperated redhead bellowed while the extravagantly triumphant little blob continued to smirk like a nitwit.

"Oh, suck it up, will ya? Just because you're wrong doesn't mean that you need to throw a tantrum over-"

"No, just because you insist on replacing entire states with completely random countries doesn't mean you can just walk on in and infect us with your stupidity!" The redhead snarled ferociously. "I swear, I think I've gotten a little dumber since you walked in here!"

"Oh come on, now what are you talking about?" Bloo groaned, looking annoyed with the irked young woman. "First you try to tell me I don't know my forty states, and now you're talking about what?"

"This isn't rocket-science!" she growled. "I can't just point to New York and call it Spain, and you can't-"

"What? Frankie, what are you talking about? It's not like I pointed to Canada and said 'Oh no, that's not the twenty-third state, birthplace of the American auto industry, rolling cornfields and famous for its seaside resorts, that's actually France.' Hey, look, I don't know about you guys, but I watched the History Channel a few times, and I can tell you whether I'm looking at a bona-fide state, and-"

"No, no you can't! That's the point!" Mac groaned. "Bloo, if that's Canada, then where did California go?"

"What the heck are you two talkin' about? California? There? Oh, so now we're just gonna pretend that an entire state just magically got up, walked clear across the country, and then just stole someone else's place, just to prove you guys right? Look, I don't know what's going on in your brains at the moment, but how can California just stand up and get to Canada's spot all the waaaaaaay from over here on the east coast?" he demanded boldly, pointing at the map to illustrate his point.

"…We'll tell you," the severely irritated redhead growled, "As soon as you tell us how Rhode Island can be two states at once."

" Oh, are you kidding me?" Bloo moaned in frustration. "You two are worse at this than I thought! How badly can you get your states mixed up? Honestly, is it that hard for you to tell where Rhode Island is?"

"Not if we use the labels on the map-" Mac tried to explain in defense of rationality, but to little avail.

"The name practically gives it all away! Island! See?" Bloo grumbled, jabbing furiously at the map. "They don't just call it "Rhode," they added the last part of the name for a reason, y'know!"

"Bloo…" The little boy muttered wearily in disappointment as he watched his friend furiously point to Hawaii over and over. "Seriously-"

"So, if that's supposed to be Canada, then what do you call this?" Frankie abruptly hissed ill temperedly, jabbing at the image of the large nation positioned directly north of the United States. "If that's not Canada, then-"

"Public Enemy Number One." The little creature announced confidently, pushing the other's utter exacerbation to new levels never imagined in their wildest dreams.

"….You're just trying to mess with our minds now, right?" Mac muttered incredulously, while Frankie swiftly suppressed the near overwhelming urge to beat herself over the head with the massive atlas to end her torture.

Rather than launch into another self-righteous tirade, however, the little blob suddenly started glaring coldly two as if they were a pair of lowlife criminals.

"Um….Boo?" Inquired his bemused creator, perplexed by the abrupt mood swing.

"You okay?" Frankie asked curiously.

"Ohhhh,…oh, now I see how it is." Bloo sneered. "I get it…you're both one of them, aren't you?"

"One of…wait, one of who?" Mac sighed.

"Y'know, it's precisely because of people like you that the war on terrorism didn't start any sooner!" the little creature growled, his tiny body quivering with a surge of patriotism-induced fury. "All people like you do is do is sit on your fat butts, and you have literally no idea how the Soviet Union is sittin' right there directly to the north of us, where our enemies can just mosey on in as they please across the border-"

"BLOO!" Frankie suddenly let loose with an ear-splitting shriek, unable to endure the bombardment of illogic anymore. "I'm not gonna let you accuse us of being unpatriotic just because-"

"Well I'm not gonna just stand here while you feel yourselves into believing that -"

"Bloo, we're only studying state capitals!" Mac protested vehemently. "You're not making any sense!"

"Me? Hey, you two are the ones who don't know which end is up! I'm just trying to help you guys out here" Bloo countered as he put his atrocious knowledge of geography hard at work. "Seriously, Frankie, what kind of garbage have you been trying to teach Mac here? I mean, if this is the best you can do, then it looks like you wasted a lot of time at college-"

"For the last time, Canada is not a state!" Frankie howled in her barely containable frustration. "It's a completely different country!"

"Do you really believe that?" Bloo muttered as he began eyeing her suspiciously. "Or…is that what you want Mac to believe?"

"What?" the befuddled caretaker yelped as the blob went on.

"Tell me, is your hair really red, or do you just dye it every day to show your support for-"

"Stop it!" Mac wailed exasperatedly. "Bloo, Frankie's not a communist, the Soviet Union doesn't exist any more! It was over before either of us lived! How do you know what is even is-"

"Freedom of the press!" Bloo shot back boldly. "In case you've forgotten, we have a little thing here called the sixth amendment, and it gives me the right to know the truth, and nothing but the truth on what's really going on in this world, and so I have the right to turn on the History Channel whenever –"

"What makes you think that the History Channel told you that the Soviet Union still existed?" Frankie snapped. "You're not making any sense! You probably just weren't paying attention when-"

"I'll tell you what doesn't make any sense, you and this stupid freedom-hating ideology you're trying to fill my buddy's head with, now that doesn't-"

"She's not communist!" Mac groaned. "Frankie's just helping me with-"

"Yeah, yeah, call her dirty propaganda whatever you want." His creation instinctively brushed the logical objections aside. "Look, buddy, if you want Chairman Foster here to fill your head with her sick, warped version of reality, than go ahead, but keep me out of-"

"Canada is not part of the United States!" Frankie roared as her final shred of patience dwindled away. "It's not!"

"Stop it! Stop it!" Bloo cried defiantly, clamping his blobbish stubs tightly over the sides of his head. "I don't want to hear your filthy, lies, you hear me? I know what I'm talking about, and you know what? I also know when I hear dirty, hateful-"

"No, the problem is you think you know what you're talking about, when you have no idea at all!" Frankie hissed as she crawled over and stared him straight in the eyes. "Now, you're going to knock this off, look at this atlas, and then tell me if-"

"You're a grand old flag, you're a high-flying flag, and forever in peace may your waaaaave…." The obstinate azure blob suddenly began to caterwaul at the top of his lungs. "You're the emblem of the land that I love-"

"BLOOOOOOOOO!"

"Mac? Frankie?" Wilt asked as he gently nudged the bedroom door open. "Hey, how's the studying going-"

And like that, the words promptly died upon his lips as the lanky imaginary friend's jaw nearly hit the floor the instant he laid eyes on the utter chaos that lay before him.

"Say it! Say it! Say it!" Frankie growled angrily while pressing a madly struggling blob face-first into the atlas. "Just read the label on the map, and tell me what it says! Tell me that-"

"NEVER!" Bloo howled as he thrashed about wildly. "You can't make me! I refuse!"

"SAY IT!" the young woman snarled. "Just read the stupid map and tell me the truth! Canada is a separate country! A country!"

"Yeah, right! That's exactly what you want me to think, fiend!" her captive squealed. "I'd rather die than-"

"Well that's exactly what you're gonna do if you don't-"

"Frankie, please! STOP!" Mac howled for what felt like the twentieth time in a row as he hung on grimly to her back in a feeble attempt to lug her off his creation. "Please! Forget about it! Just let it go! This is crazy!"

"Crazy? CRAZY?" she snapped, her jade eyes burning like twin infernos. "Nuh-uh! Letting him call me a communist over and over just because I actually have a clue about geography, that's crazy!"

"But-"

"Bloo, just say it!" Frankie reiterated fiercely once more as she pinned her prisoner's face down into the book. "We can end this right now if you just-"

"Oh beeeeautifulllllll, for spaaaaaaacious skies…."

"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHH!"

After gawking slack jawed at the terrible spectacle for a few seconds, Wilt finally managed to overcome his initial surprise, and immediately he swooped into the fray. In a flash, he had clumsily wrapped a winding arm about the frustrated caretaker's waist and yanked her up off Bloo, thus putting an end to the madness.

For the next few moments, Frankie just heaved for breath and glared daggers at a certain azure figment while she dangled a few feet off the ground. Bloo meanwhile took cover behind his creator, from where he glowered at the redhead. As the two fiercely stared each other down, Wilt and Mac meanwhile just passed each other nervous glances.

Finally, the little boy took a hard swallow, tried to put on an excuse for a smile, and attempted to ease the thick tension by looking on the brighter side of an otherwise unpleasant situation. "Well…at least this isn't as bad as what happened when we tried reviewing multiplication tables last week…"

The End