Sometimes I would just lie in bed for hours, just dreaming about how life would be so much better if I just got out of this place. But my mom would pull the covers off of me and ask me what I was doing lazing about, snapping me back to cruel reality. People have always resented my mother, saying that she didn't know how to raise her own children and that my father's absence brought disgrace to our family. In a way, I hated her too. The way she uses my body to make filthy money and how she hits me when I don't make enough or if one of the 'customers' didn't enjoy their time with me. I was named after my great grandmother, Sarah Robbinson. But Sara is spelled without the 'h' behind it. Sara. The name for the broken, tired and the weak. I've been telling myself that for about five years now, and I haven't been able to stop. Sometimes I would even consider suicide, but I could never bring myself to do it. Coward! I could hear the voices playing in my head again, trying to make me realize the fool I was all these years.
Scritch. What was that? I burrowed deeper into the covers until only my eyes could be seen. The thought of another 'customer' brought a sinking feeling into the pit of my stomach.
Scritch, scratch. There it was again, that sound. I kept my eyes locked on the door, and listened more closely. The sound resumed, getting louder with each beat of my heart. The sound dwindled away and faded into a faint clicking sound. I began to hallucinate, every now and then seeing a small child at the corner of my eye. He seemed to be watching me with careful eyes, a murder in disguise. Even though I knew he was just a part of my messed up mind, he was always there. sometimes he gives the most ear-piercing shrieks, always screaming the same thing with tears in his eyes.
"Mommy, mommy! Where are you?" he would cry and I would tell him to shut up, that I couldn't hear myself think. Now this is the part where I got creeped out. Whenever I told him to shut up, he would pull out a long needle and thread and sew across his lips in a zig-zag pattern, silencing himself forever. But unfortunately, 'forever' only lasted until the next day. I would find myself telling him to shut up again and he would repeat his actions. It was like watching a horror movie on replay every night. How nice to finally have some company.