The sun blazed brightly, soaking the park in its golden rays with barely a cloud in the sky to obstruct its shining glory for so much as a few seconds. The flora of the town park meanwhile was finally in full bloom after a long, cold winter, with fresh verdant leaves covering the branch of nearly every tree. Meanwhile, the bushes and flowers had recently exploded into bloom and blanketed the ground with a dazzling array of nearly every color imaginable.

The public commons nearly resembled a veritable Garden of Eden, except for the fact that unusually strong gusts that day made the weather slightly less than perfect. Nevertheless, practically everyone present in the large gathering in the middle of the park happily concluded to himself or herself that they couldn't have been blessed with a more ideal setting for an outdoor wedding.

"…. And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister asked, as was dictated by ritual. Immediately, nearly the whole audience excitedly leaned forward a little in their seats and kept locked their gazes upon the bride, bedecked in a breathtakingly exquisite pearl-white gown as she paused for a moment, looked into the eyes of the young man next to her, smiled serenely, and answered-

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

The terrified shriek she elicited nearly deafened everyone from the best man to the caterers and sent every bird in a five hundred yard radius frantically flapping off in fright. Rather than be dismayed by her peculiar reply or the fact her eyes had nearly popped from her skull, her husband-to-be simply actually chimed in along with her and bellowed loudly in surprise.

After all, how could either of them not by a little startled by the abrupt appearance of the peculiarly towering crimson imaginary friend?

"Sorry! Sorry! I'm so sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Wilt instantly began to sputter apologetically after he expertly dodged around the badly spooked minister and right between the couple in a spectacular display of agility. As he sprinted frantically down the aisle like a bat out of hell, the poor creature could actually feel the gazes of the slack-jawed wedding-goers fixate onto him, and he unfortunately could do little except thank God his natural tone hid much of his humiliated blush.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he whined between ragged gasps as he charged along. "Honestly, you have no idea! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I just-WAUGH!"

Unfortunately, his efforts to make it clear to everyone present how sincerely regretful he was distracted him for a few crucial seconds, and thus Wilt never saw the h'ors deurve-laden table until it was far too late. After the horrendous crash, the imaginary friend was sent tumbling to the ground and rolled a few times while the air temporarily became thick with a mess of specially prepared delicacies that had been meant for the reception later.

While the guests of the bride and groom could only stare silently in dumb shock for the first few moments, unable to believe what had just happened, almost immediately Wilt could hear the outraged howls of the caterers, followed by the unmistakable soft thud of footsteps as they all tried to set upon him like a pack of mad dogs.

Even though he was still slightly dazed from the collision and plastered from head to toe with what he assumed had once been a display of finger sandwiches, in an instant Wilt was back upon his feet and running like the wind as the immensely incensed caterers trailed behind, armed with a variety of makeshift weapons ranging from serving utensils to extra folding chairs.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I said I was sorry!" Wilt wailed miserably as he dashed off, with the mob of servers giving chase. "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!"

However, despite their best efforts, the pursuers found that they not a single one of them was a match for the incredibly athletic imaginary friend, who had been steadily widening the gap between them ever since the hunt started. Within minutes, the pack of livid caterers found themselves stumbling along and gasping for breath as they feebly tried to continue their fruitless attempt to apprehend their culprit. It was all to no avail whatsoever, and just moments later they caught their last glimpse of the gangly red creature dodging through some trees and out of sight.

Pumping his legs as hard as he could, Wilt plowed headlong across the park grounds, dodging around joggers, parents with strollers, children on bicycles, and many others as he pushed onwards. Strangely enough, however, it wasn't the fear that the caterers would somehow catch him that galvanized him onwards; he hadn't even glanced back behind him even once. Instead he kept his gaze focused straight ahead and oddly craned upwards a little as he raced along at such a breakneck pace one would've thought Lucifer himself was hot on his heels.

"Not okay, not okay…*gasp*….really, really not okay! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" he berated himself mercilessly while searching about desperately. "Totally not okay! You just had to help those kids get their Frisbee back, didn't you? You just had to leave her alone for five seconds, didn't you? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Oh I hope she's okay, please let her be okay! Oh jeez, Madame Fosters going to have a heart-attack for sure if I don't-OW!"

In the blink of an eye, a pigeon had suddenly swooped in from nowhere and perched itself upon Wilt's head, where it immediately began pecking wildly at a half-crushed h'ors deurve.

"Ow! Ow! Quit it! Quit it!" Wilt yelped and instinctively began swatting wildly at his tormentor as he could feel the little beak score painful blow after painful blow atop his skull. "Stop! No! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Go away! No!"

Finally, he managed to drive away the pest with a few more wild swipes of the hand. Once he was finally free, he immediately took a couple moments to pluck off a few of the smashed array finger sandwiches that abundantly covered him like the spots on a leopard.

"Yuck!" he groaned as he pried off the ruined treats. "That better be the last thing that thinks I'm a free meal, because I'm no-"

Whether his words simply had incredibly poor timing or fate had a cruel sense of humor, he wasn't sure; either way, none of that really changed the fact that no less than a second later a veritable army of ravenous pigeons abruptly descended upon him in a cloud of feathers.

"AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHH!" Wilt howled at the top of his lungs in terror, but not even this could scare away the voracious winged scavengers.

Within moments, he was nearly completely covered from his ankles to his eye stalks by the famished creatures, and much to his dismay, he swiftly realized he couldn't do a thing to fend them off, other than stumble about blindly and scream uncontrollably as if someone was butchering him alive with a rusty chainsaw.

"Get off! Get off! Get off! Please, get OFF!" Wilt begged shamelessly as he bumbled about, with his vision completely obscured by the pests as the pigeons had themselves a feast with the morsels that coated his body. As nearly a hundred beaks pecked at once, the imaginary friend couldn't even hear his own screams as he ran about, much less the terrified shrieks of everyone in the immediate vicinity.

Once the veritable walking mountain of feathers stumbled into sight, every man, woman and child hastily vacated the scene in a frantic attempt to flee the towering monster with a thousand wings. For a few moments, it was nothing but mass chaos as their air was filled with horrified screeches and frightened yells as parents grabbed their offspring, teenagers called frantically for friends they had been separated from amongst the pandemonium, panicked old men and women sprinted off as hastily as Olympic runners on steroids, and nearly all dashed about like chickens with their heads sliced off in a mad stampede to safety.

Within a matter of mere seconds, the particular stretch of park had been completely deserted, with no one left but the lanky perpetrator of the hasty mass evacuation.

"Augh! Off! Off! Go away! Please, go away!" Wilt continued to wail as he blindly stumbled about, unable to see a single thing besides the half-dozen or so birds blocking his good eye. "Just get off of-"

Like magic, the birds suddenly fled in synchronized panic. When the last one frantically fluttered off, it was then that Wilt realized far too late they had retreated only because he was tumbling backwards into the nearby fountain.

SPLASH!

Soaking wet and aching all over from one too many uncalled-for pecks, the drenched imaginary friend lay as he was for a few moments in his pitiful sprawl, half-submerged and severely disorientated from his attack. Trembling slightly and gasping for breath, it looked like he was mere moments away from passing out on the spot after the sheer madness that he had been forced to endure.

That is, he almost wanted to call it quits right then and there until he happened to glance upwards and spot a most peculiar shade of scarlet nestled high in a tree bough almost directly above him.

"There you are!" Wilt sputtered, as he was nearly overwhelmed with an indescribable sense of relief. Wasting not a second, he clumsily clambered from the fountain, and then bolted over to a nearby tree, which he promptly began to scale like some gigantic red squirrel as he babbled all the while, "I knew you had to land somewhere around here, I knew it! I knew it couldn't have possibly taken you that far! Please, don't worry! It's okay, it's okay! I'm coming! Just hold on, I'll be there in a sec! Don't worry! It's okay! It's okay!"

As he spewed forth with reassurance after reassurance like a hysterical mother hen, he continued climbing frantically up the massive oak tree until he managed to reach his goal; the four-year-old little redheaded girl sitting calmly in the upper branches amongst a tangled mess of string and fabric.

Despite Wilt's hysterical fretting, fortunately Frances "Frankie" Foster appeared to be none the worse from the bizarre calamity she had clearly just survived. In fact, the girl was nothing but toothy smiles as she gleamed in exhilaration and waved furiously at the familiar face.

"Hiya, Wilt! Didya see me? Didya?" Frankie laughed excitedly as he delicately plucked her free from her precarious perch, and immediately enveloped her in a quick one-armed hug.

"You're okay! Oh, thank goodness you're okay!" he gasped as he held the genuinely befuddled little girl close.

"Huh?" she squeaked incredulously while he placed her securely atop his shoulders.

"Honestly, you nearly spooked me clear out of my skin!" the friend just continued as he began to carefully descend. "You scared me half to death the second you took off like that, clear off the ground! First you were right there with me, and just like that, with one big gust you were almost gone! And with the way the wind was blowing, I seriously thought you'd be carried clear halfway across town! I-"

"Yeah…and it was awesome!" Frankie interrupted with an elated squeal before breaking out into a mad fit of the giggles, much to Wilt's displeasure.

"I'm sorryFrankie, but no." He scolded her lightly. "Not awesome. I'm sorry, but you really scaredme, and you could've really gotten hurt if you landed-"

"Nuh-uh!" she happily objected. "It was the bestest thing ever! Yup! I was flyin' just like the birdies an' the airplanes! Just like 'em! You aw me, Wilt! An' it was the coolest, most neatest-"

"It was an accident." Wilt countered bluntly as he finally made it back onto the ground. "I should've never left your side-"

However, his protests fell on completely deaf ears, and he could actually feel her tremble uncontrollably with excitement as she proclaimed happily,

"Best day at the park ever! Can I do it again next week? Huh? Can I? Can I, Wilt? Please? Pretty please? Grandma never, ever lets me go glidin' and-"

"Because you weren't supposed to go 'gliding'." Wilt groaned as he began to wearily plod off in the direction of home. "The wind was just very strong today, and you didn't -"

"But Wiiiiilt!" she whined unhappily as he just announced flatly,

"Sorry, Frankie, but I'm serious; next time, we're getting you a much smaller kite…"

The End