Oh boy. Okay, here's the next chapter. And...I'm very anxious and hesitant with posting this chapter, because I think it's one of the most important chapters, if not the most important. So...please review and let me know what you thought, and ease my nerves! Oh, and you guys are incredible with the last chapter! It got 36 reviews alone. And with this story only having 5 chapters, it had 113 reviews total along with lots of alerts, which is unbelievably amazing, so thank you for everyone who has alerted it, and for all of the reviews!

Also, before you start reading the next chapter, I'm going to ask that you read this rant. I realized I didn't make something as clear as I should have, so I wanted to clarify. Okay, so...most importantly, Bella wasn't keeping it from Edward for Jacob's sake, or to try and keep anything from happening to Jake. At this point, she doesn't want anything to do with him, she wants to be as far away from him as possible. The reason she isn't wanting to tell Edward is because she's having difficulties accepting the truth herself, and plus, due to the rape, her self worth is just completely gone in her mind, so she thinks she's horrid and disgusting and...she doesn't see how Edward could still want her after he finds out. She's terrified of him leaving her again, of no longer wanting her once he finds out, because she doesn't think she could live through him leaving her again. And we all know Bella is especially scared of him leaving after New Moon, and we all know about her insecurities about thinking she's not good enough for him, since she thinks so little of herself compared to him and thinking they're out of balance. Plus, we know how she tries to avoid hurting Edward, and that she doesn't want to hurt him at all [hence her trying to avoid bringing up him leaving her through the books, because she hates that it hurts him]. So...she's not trying to keep the rape a secret for Jacob's sake. She's doing it to protect Edward, because she doesn't want to hurt him, and also because she's scared, she's not thinking clearly, and because of how the rape has affected her emotionally, she's terrified of losing him. So...she's doing it for herself, and also especially for Edward.

Okay, on with the show. I'm very nervous about the reaction to this chapter, so I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters.

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Chapter 6

Oh no. No. No. No.

Alice said she wouldn't. She said she wanted me to tell Edward. She wasn't supposed to. I know I was still trying to figure out what to do, but I was seriously considering telling him. She had wanted me to be the one to tell him. She wasn't supposed to do this to me.

I could feel tears pooling in my eyes, which I furiously fought to keep from falling. I could feel the quickened pace of my heart, and my ragged shallow breathing.

"Bella?" he asked. I wasn't sure how long it had been since he had asked me, but I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't handle him finding out right now. I was already panicking, and I wasn't even sure how much he knew. "Did that mongrel rape you?" he asked, his voice laced with menace.

At his words, I pulled my hands from out of his. He knew. Edward knew,

"No!" I shouted, unsure whether I was shouting it in protest to him knowing, or in a pathetic attempt to cover up what had happened. "No, no, no," I kept mumbling over and over, my eyes squeezing themselves shut. "Alice wasn't supposed to say anything," I mumbled to myself.

"Bella," he said, his voice taking on a softer edge, but still filled with fury. "I didn't find out from Alice. Rosalie oveheard your conversations with Alice. She was thinking about it, comparing your reactions to her own," he explained, and I could still sense that his body was completely rigid. "I need to know if it's true," his voice took on an anguished edge.

"She -- she doesn't know what she's talking about," I spluttered out, my breathing still heavy and uneven. I didn't want Edward to find out like this, not this way. I was trying to figure out how to tell him.

"Isabella Marie Swan, did he rape you?" he asked me again in a strained tone, taking a miniscule step closer to me, but close enough that it caused me to back up.

I stood stock still, my eyes still squeezed as tightly shut as I could get them. I tried to focus on breathing, to bring the proper rhythm back to the bursts of air entering my lungs, but it was no use.

I continued to stand there, my mouth clamped shut, refusing to answer. I couldn't answer. I couldn't find my voice. He knew. I couldn't lie. This was it. This was when I would hurt Edward even more and Edward will leave me. As soon as he for sure knew the truth, he would be gone and out the door within seconds, taking my shattered heart with him...unless Alice was right, but I still wasn't so sure. I wanted to believe her.

The traitorous tears spilled down my cheeks, my head nodding infinitesimally.

When I heard footsteps, I opened my eyes.

I first noticed Alice and Jasper standing in the doorway, both with apologetic and concerned looks on their faces. But it was as Alice's eyes turned to follow movement, I followed her gaze.

Edward. His face was full of anger, full of uncontrollable fury. He truly looked like a vampire. But it was then that I noticed that he was beginning to turn and walk to the door.

Fear, panic, pain, and uncontrollable heartbreak all seemed to set in as my worst fear was coming true right in front of my eyes. Alice had been wrong. Edward was leaving me. Now that he knew how disgusting I was, he was leaving me.

The tears fell harder and faster, the hole in my chest from when he had left me before tearing itself open yet again. I fought to keep in the sob that was escaping my lips as my knees began to buckle from under me as I instinctively shut my eyes, waiting for the immense pain I knew would follow.

"Edward," I heard Jasper's slightly hesitant voice say. "She's feeling abandoned and unwanted. She's scared. She thinks you're leaving her again."

What Jasper had said was true, of course. He was picking up on all of my emotions. I realized that I wasn't just hurting Edward right now, I was probably hurting Jasper too with my overwhelming emotions.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I sobbed the words repeatedly, to Edward, to Jasper, even to Alice. To everyone who I was hurting.

My eyes were still clamped shut, stinging from the tears streaming down my face. I was blocking out everything around me, trying not to listen, trying not to feel. But then I suddenly felt an arm starting to encircle my waist, wanting to pull me closer to them.

"No!" I screamed, my voice harsh as I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter, my arms flailing as I tried to push them off.

"Bella," Edward's voice was soft now, calming as he let his arm drop, freeing me from his hold. I opened my eyes to see his beautiful gold ones staring back at me. Edward was still here. He didn't leave. It was only Edward who had touched me. I could feel some of the tightness in my chest easing. "Your heart is racing, love," he murmured, his face full of concern and possibly hurt that I shoved him away like that.

"Edward," I choked on his name, my voice breaking. I didn't want to hurt him, but that's exactly what I had done.

"Shh, love," he soothed, his hand coming up very slowly and hesitantly to brush along my cheek. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," he said softly.

Now I was confused. He had been leaving. He was about to walk out the door before Jasper stopped him, and now he says he's not going anywhere. "But you -- you were going to leave," I said, my voice cracking.

"I wanted a moment to compose myself. Bella, I was too infuriated. I didn't trust myself with you while I was in that state. I feared I would lose control, that I wouldn't be able to concentrate enough to remember to be gentle with you," he explained, his eyes fixed on mine. "I won't leave you," he swore.

Instant relief washed through me, and this time, I don't think Jasper had anything to do with it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. I couldn't seem to stop apologizing for the situation, and for hurting him. I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't find words, and couldn't seem to force myself to form any other sentences.

"Shh." He held up his right hand, showing me his movement before he reached his hand down and grasped mine, gently directing me over to the bed. "Come on, love," he soothed as he himself sat on the bed and scooted back, my hand still grasped in his as he gave it a gentle tug, encouraging me to join him on the bed, and I felt myself tense.

I climbed up, and stayed to one side of the bed, our hands still connected and clasped together. He layed down, his eyes never leaving mine, as he tried prompting me to do the same probably sensing my hesitation and nervousness.

I let myself fall back onto the bed, my eyes still on Edward. He rolled to his side so he was laying facing me, which was not a usual position for him to lay with me. But I realized a moment later that he was trying to comfort me, trying not to push me or scare me, and thought I wouldn't want to curl up into him with my head on his chest as I always did. And for that I was grateful, because right now, who knew if he thought I was disgusting. I felt better knowing he was at least still here with me, still willing to lay with me while I slept.

I knew many things still needed to be said between us, many things needed to be discussed and figured out, but at the moment, he was giving me time to calm down, to rest. And It wasn't until now that I realized how much I needed it.

So I turned to face him as well, our faces inches apart, and his right hand still clutching my left, and he slowly brought our hands up to lay in between us, and ever so slowly placed a small gentle kiss on my hand, his eyes on mine the whole time, making sure I was okay with his movements.

It was like that, our faces close and holding hands that I hesitantly fell asleep, the day's events and emotions proving to be too tiring for me as I was lulled into a state of sleep as I listened to Edward's melodious voice hum my lullaby, knowing that Edward would keep me safe.

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I know it's rather short [which I apologize for], but...if I got into the next part, it would have become too long. However...go easy on me, because...surprise! lol, I'm posting another chapter right after this one, which is very long, and it's from Edward's point of view, so you can see how he found out, and you can get inside his head for all of this and understand his side a bit better.

Anyways, so with that said...surprise, it wasn't Alice who told Edward...it was Rosalie, in a round about way. And now Edward finally knows the truth, and as of right now, he's wanting Bella to rest since she's a mess at the moment and it was emotionally draining with Edward finding out the truth, and thinking he was leaving, etc. But she also knows there's a lot more to discuss, and right now, since they have yet to discuss things...well, she's still has her insecurities, and thinks he still may not want her, even if he is staying. So...they have some things to talk about, which will be coming up soon in chapter 8 [because chapter 7 is Edward's POV on all of this].

Anyways, please review, let me know what you thought, I'd really like to hear your opinions on this chapter, and let me know you're still interested, of course!