Chapter 16: Returning

Mark stared anxiously at the house he had been outside only a few days before. He had been pacing all day long; so much so that he had taken Nero out for four runs and then had taken as many showers. Sarah had had to stop him from shaving after the last three. His head was scrambled all over and he wasn't sure why. Alex knew he was alive; why was he so anxious about seeing her?

In his mind, he knew why. He didn't know how she was going to react when she finally saw him. She had seemed perfectly happy in her notes, but how would that change when she finally saw him in person?

Sarah squeezed his hand and he smiled at her, glancing down at the bag she gripped in her other hand.

"Did you really have to bring biscuits?" he asked dryly.

"Yes," she replied lightly. "Ben and Danielle already got four dozen. We've got another six dozen in the freezer and there's two dozen in this bag. And that's after I gave several dozen away to the postman, left them out for customers, and gave a few dozen to the neighbours."

"How many biscuits did you make, exactly?" Mark asked, feeling a rush of guilt.

"Well, I can get a twelve on a tray, and they take about ten minutes to cook. So that's six dozen an hour, from about five in the afternoon until ten in the morning. So...twelve times six is seventy two... and five times six is thirty...so now take one hundred and two times twelve... that'd be..."

"Over twelve hundred biscuits. Jesus, Sarah. How did you have enough flour? And sugar...and everything else?"

"I knew I was going on a baking binge. I might have spent a lot at Tesco's."

Mark shook his head, staring at the door. "I suppose I should knock," he said.

Sarah smiled and nodded.

He reached up to knock, but before he could, the door opened and Gene stood there, his eyes glittering.

"Were you ever going to knock, or were you just going to stand on our step all night long?"

"Nice to see you too, Gene."

Gene raised his eyebrow and Mark could see a boy of about fifteen or sixteen behind him.

"Is this the weird bloke who painted that photo of you and Mum?"

"Mark!" a girl's voice admonished. "Don't be rude."

The boy looked at his sister and gave her a weary, sarcastic look. Gene was still standing in the doorway, so Mark replied around him.

"It's okay, love," he said. "Your brother just takes after your Dad is all." He smiled and winked at the girl.

"You're not doing well to be allowed in this house," Gene said gruffly.

"Gene, just let the poor man in," Alex's voice said, sounding irritated. Gene looked back and sniffed, stepping aside.

"Come in," Alex said as she turned to her children. "Weren't you two supposed to be going out?"

"I was waiting for Lily," the boy said. "Girls take forever to get ready."

Lily slapped the boy over the head as Mark and Sarah walked through the entrance. Alex broke into a huge grin seeing him, immediately embracing him.

"What do I call you?" she murmured.

"Whatever you want. In front of your kids, Arthur," he mumbled back.

"It's so good to see you again, Arthur," she said as they broke apart.

"It's good to see you too," he said, smiling at her. "You know my wife."

Sarah smiled at Alex, who looked surprised.

"You're the woman..."

"My dogs seem to love Gene," she replied as Alex started to laugh and Gene started to pout.

"If it's any consolation, Gene," Mark murmured, "the first time I met her son, Iggy used my groin to springboard off of."

A giant grin started to spread across Gene's face. Mark had never seen a smile that large on the man's face before.

"Good," Gene said, reigning in his emotions. "Mark, Lily, get to your friends."

"We're going!" the boy said. "Jesus, calm down!"

Gene just glared at the two and they left, kissing their mother goodbye.

As the door shut, Alex let out a strangled laugh. "I just...I can't believe it," she said, walking over to Mark. "Eighteen years...you've lost weight. And gone grey."

Mark smiled gently at her, using his skills to scrutinise her without her knowing. A scar ran down her cheek and her fringe had moved, revealing another scar on her forehead. Her smallest finger on her left hand was missing, just as it had been when he first met her. The real difference about her was the change in her eyes. All he had seen when he was with her was misery and the dull fire of hidden rage. Even when other emotions had started to come through, the misery was still underneath, making its presence known. Now, they were happy and carefree, though he detected a hint of worry lying underneath.

"You look just as gorgeous as ever," he said, his eyes connected with hers. She was staring at him intensely, and he was doing the same to her.

Gene coughed, a hacking, smoker's cough, and the spell was broken. Sarah walked forward, smiling. "I brought biscuits," she said.

Alex smiled gratefully. "I'll take these to the kitchen. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

"I'll help you," Sarah said, and the two disappeared. Gene looked at Mark, his lips pouting.

"Evans," he finally said stiffly.

"Hunt."

"I can't believe you're back," Gene said. "It destroyed her when you died."

Mark looked down, guilt washing over him in waves.

"How did she deal with it?"

Gene stared at him a moment. "She painted. She'd fall asleep in front of the easel. And then I finally got her to the psychologist and she started moving forward in leaps and bounds."

"You two were engaged by September 1985."

Gene nodded. "How'd you know that?"

Mark smiled. "Do you remember the homeless bloke who slept through you getting mauled by Iggy?"

Gene looked stunned, and then anger started to take over his features. "That...that was you?!" he asked indignantly.

Mark smirked and nodded. "I was cheering on Iggy every second of the way too."

"Oh...you..." Gene was speechless. Mark knew he was torn between amusement and utter rage, and merely watched the two emotions fight for control over Gene's face, smirking as the women walked into the room, laying out the roast dinner.

Gene let out a strangled sound and sat down, Alex looking at him curiously. However, he just started to serve himself so she said nothing. They made polite conversation over dinner, over inconsequential things. Alex quizzed Sarah over her job and family, and asked how they had met. Gene had quite enjoyed the story of Iggy knocking Mark over and the mention of the 'groin springboard' in Mark's first Christmas with them.

Finally, as dessert was served, Alex asked the question. "So...how did you...how did you survive?"

Mark looked down at his pudding, taking a deep breath in, knowing that this question had been coming all night long. He finally looked up at Sarah. She was looking at him, interested. He had never given her the full story, and she knew that. Finally though, she was going to get to find out.

"I made it through surgery," Mark said finally. "You knew that though. When I came to after the surgery, Danny was by my side. I told him I wanted out. I needed to get out. I screwed up your case Alex. You nearly died because of my mistakes. I nearly died. Gene ended up the victim of a bomb and lost his memory because of me. So I disappeared."

Alex nodded, looking down at her pudding, picking at it. It was silent for a few moments, until Alex stood. "I need some air," she said, walking out. Gene made to go after her, but Mark stopped him.

"I created this," he said. "I need to fix it."

Gene nodded in agreement and Mark walked out to see Alex sitting on the grass in the back garden. He went and sat beside her silently, waiting for her to speak.

"The last time we had dinner together it was Chinese and wine."

"I wasn't good enough for curry," he said, teasing her.

She smiled softly. "That night...I'd be lying if I said I didn't still think about it."

Mark gave the smallest of smiles. "So would I."

"So you don't regret that night?"

He shook his head. "I never have."

"Neither have I. God...when I was trapped in the room for the second time, thinking of you got me through it. Remembering that last night we spent together. Remembering you telling me that you loved me."

"I really did too."

Alex looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Then why did you go? You screwed up, but I loved you. You loved me."

Mark shook his head. "Nothing about us being together was right, Alex. Can you honestly imagine yourself married to me now? A life without the twins? Without Gene?"

She looked at him, shaking her head. "But..."

"There's no buts in this situation, Alex. We both know that I was only there to help you get through your initial trauma. I was there to help you speak. I never should have fallen in love with you. Everything about our relationship was wrong. We met because you were..."

"Because I was handcuffed to a bed and you were undercover," she said softly. "And I fell in love with you because in my eyes, you were a knight in shining armour."

"I was never meant to be in that role, Alex. Hell, you were supposed to hate me just like you hated everyone in that building. And then, when it was over, I was supposed to disappear like a good little spook."

"I only had a week left to live by that point," she said softly. "Would you have let me die, Mark?"

Mark stared at her, at a loss for words for a moment. "If I had only done my duty and no more, we would have intercepted you before you walked into the station with a bomb strapped to your chest. We would have sent you on your way to hospital, and you'd have never seen me again."

Alex looked at him, and then down to the ground, playing with a dandelion she had picked from the ground. "I don't know what I would have done then, honestly. I hated Gene so much back then."

Mark put his arm around her. "We don't have to think about that, Alex. What happened, happened. If I hadn't have become so involved in your case, I would have never met Sarah. And I can't imagine what I'd be like if I were still a Spook."

Alex looked at him, her eyes sad. "I don't think you'd be happy," she said. "You were starting to hate your job even when I was with you. If you stayed in it for another eighteen years you wouldn't have been happy at all."

"You're right," he said. "I was getting miserable all those years ago. And you helped me realise that."

"So I was actually good for something," she said. "All those years ago...I thought I was worthless."

"You never were."

She smiled at him sadly and leaned into him. They sat like this for quite a while until she spoke again.

"Mark?"

"Hmm?"

"I still love you."

Mark pulled away from her, looking at her in shock. "What?"

Alex's eyes widened as she realised what she said. She shook her head.

"No, no. God, I'm sorry. Not like that. I've never stopped loving you, who you were. Your personality...the way you worked with me. But that love...it's not the kind of love I have for Gene. I still love you, Mark, but as a friend only."

"You scared me for a moment, Alex," he said. "I thought you were going to say you were going to run from Gene and make me choose between you and Sarah."

Alex laughed. "Would there be any difficulty deciding?"

Mark shook his head. "Sarah in a heartbeat, every time. I mean...don't get me wrong..."

Alex just smiled and shook her head. "I understand. God, for being a Spook, you're terrible at figuring things out!"

"Hey! I haven't been one for nearly twenty years. You can't blame me for my techniques being a bit crap."

Alex laughed again and leaned into him once more. "So, now that the secret's out, will you be willing to come see us again?" she asked.

Mark smiled softly. "If we do, you'll have to start calling me Arthur."

"That shouldn't be too hard."

"Oi, Evans, that's my wife you've got your arm around." Gene's voice rang clear in the yard.

Mark looked over his shoulder and smirked at him, seeing Sarah behind him.

"So? Good taste, leaning into me."

"In case you've forgotten, Arthur, you're married too," Sarah said teasingly, one eyebrow raised. She knew that gesture, and she knew that he only offered it in friendship.

"Oh, damn," Mark sighed. "Alex...they've figured us out."

Alex smiled, standing up. Mark stood with her. "Did you two have fun inside?" she asked.

"This woman, Bolls," Gene said. "She's going on about how Western's aren't the best film genre there is!"

"You two argued about that?!" Alex asked incredulously, leaning into Gene as his arm slid around her waist.

"He brought it up," Sarah said, linking her hand with Mark's. Neither gesture was trying to be possessive, Mark noticed. Rather, it was a natural expression of affection on both accounts. "Now he's trying to get me to agree to a movie day where we compare the best Westerns against the best horror films."

"Count me out," Alex said. "I hate both genres."

"Same," Mark said. "I know, why don't Alex and I have coffee, and you two can watch movies together?"

"I don't know, Evans," Gene said. "I don't think I can trust you with her."

"You can trust me. Besides, you'll have my wife to keep as ransom for yours back." Mark winked at Sarah. "And coffee doesn't always lead to something else."