Oy, okay...so, this chapter took me longer, BUT...it's also like, twice as long as usual. So hopefully that makes up for it, especially since I did some research for this chapter and the next to make it more accurate. This one gets a little more detailed, but hopefully you all like it.

Also, I wanted to comment. Hater of reality pointed out to me a discrepancy within my story [thank you =) ]. I had Edward say that he was supposed to be going hunting with Jasper and Emmett...yet when I had Edward gone, I still had Emmett and Jasper both at home. So...I've fixed that, so Edward's only supposed to go with Emmett..and Emmett's no longer at home. The second thing I just realized earlier today when I was going over this chapter...Edward doesn't start calling Bella "love" until they're in the tent, I believe after she's feeling guilty for kissing Jacob. But I just realized I've had him calling her that throughout this story so far. But...I'm sorry guys, I refuse to change it, lol. I adore him calling her that too much to change it. So...in this story, he starts calling her "love" now, instead of later with the Victoria/newborn fight.

I read it over before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes, I apologize.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

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Chapter 8

My pillow didn't feel right. It was too hard. Too stiff. And then I felt it underneath my half asleep head. The rise and fall of someone's chest.

My eyes snapped open, but in my panic they refused to focus on anything, and I jerked away from the body that was partially beneath me, but they were grasping my hand, trying to keep me from pulling away. I felt the familiar panic start to come over me, and I gave my arm one more angry and fearful jerk, and with a resounding thud found myself in a heap on the floor.

It was then that my eyes began to focus, the realization of having distance between me and the person on the bed making a miniscule amount of the panic cease. As my vision unblurred, I found myself staring at a very familiar golden carpet. Edward's carpet.

I lifted my head to look around and gasped when the first thing I seen was Edward standing above me, an anxious expression embedded on his face. "Bella? Are you alright, love?"

I nodded meekly, and he held his hand out to help me stand up, obviously realizing I didn't want to be grabbed if he were to just pick me up like he normally would. I was thankful for that, but that still didn't stop me from hesitating for a second before placing my hand in his to allow him to help me up.

Once I was back on my feet, I didn't immediately pull my hand away, I let it remain loosely clasped in his as a thought occurred to me. The events of last night floated into my memory. Edward knew.

I quickly pulled my hand back from his. He was still here, but he shouldn't have to touch something as damaged and broken as me. Edward's lips parted, about to speak, but I couldn't let him. Not yet.

"I'm sorry," I started sputtering, my eyes averted to his feet. I was sorry for what happened, because it was my fault. I was the reason this all happened, and I knew that.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, love," he assured me, but the worried and agonized look in his eyes made me continue.

"I know this is all my fault. I know now that I should have trusted you, and shouldn't have gone to La Push. I know I messed up, and --," I paused, taking a deep shuddering breath and mustering as much courage as I could before continuing. As much as the idea of it pained me, and caused the gaping hole in my chest to begin to tear open again, I knew I needed to give him an out. To think of the right words to free him of his imagined obligation to stay with me now that I was unfixable. "I want you to know that whatever false sense of obligation you feel towards staying with me -- it's okay, you don't have to feel that way. You shouldn't feel like you have to stay with me. If you want to leave me, if you don't want to be with me anymore, I -- I understand," I ranted as I mumbled my words, and despite my will to keep my composure, a few tears managed to escape my closed eyes and cascade down my cheeks.

I realize now that it was selfish of me to not have told him about what happened right away. I did it to prevent him from being hurt, because I knew what it would do to him, the grief it would cause him. But I also did it out of fear -- fear of Edward leaving me again because of how utterly broken I am, because there's no conceivable way he could still want me after he knew. And that notion, that thought on its own was so ridiculously selfish, which is why I knew I needed to give him the chance to leave if that's what he wanted, no matter what it cost me, and no matter how much it hurt me. Because Edward deserved to be happy, not to be held down and held back because of someone like me.

"Isabella," he spoke my name with an almost angry edge to his voice, which caused me to snap my eyes up to meet his. His eyes were hard - determined. "Did you honestly believe that I would no longer want you -- that I would leave you due to what happened? How could you think such a thing?" he questioned, his tone incredulous as his eyes searched my face.

"I --," I tried to find my voice, to find an answer to give him for why I thought that, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. I couldn't think of a coherent answer. So instead I gave in, letting the tears fall miserably from my eyes.

Edward brought his hands up, and gently brushed the tears away, causing me to flinch back from his touch. He himself flinched due to my reaction, and knowing him, probably began berating himself for even so much as touching me.

"You are being utterly absurd," he murmured, his eyes now softer, gentle. "I'm not going to leave you," he stated with a tone of finality. With a sigh, he continued speaking. "I told you that I would never be strong enough to leave you again, nor would I ever want to. You are my world, Bella; You are my life. I am not going to leave you," he declared in a soothing manner, but I could see the determination in his eyes, willing me to understand -- to believe him.

And I did. I believe now that he wouldn't leave me, which didn't help to stop my tears from falling, only now they were also happy tears. Edward wasn't going to leave me. His words seeped into me, instantly bringing me a sense of relief and security, and most of all...love.

But there was still one errant thought that I couldn't push out of my mind, despite the comfort his words brought me.

"But I'm broken, Edward," I whispered as my voice cracked and I tried to fight back even more tears.

"Then we'll fix you," he murmured, his tone comforting and warm. His eyes found mine, and I couldn't help but see the love and sincerity they held.

We both stayed silent for a moment, neither of us saying a word. Edward's face held a look of anxiousness and contemplation when he broke the silence.

"Love, will you let Carlisle examine you to make sure that you're okay?" he spoke softly, his eyes never leaving mine.

The thought of being poked and prodded, and having my body examined, especially by a man caused me to panic. I could feel my breathing begin to pick up, and my chest begin to constict in fear. I couldn't. I couldn't do that.

"No," I whispered, shaking my head furiously, wishing this would just all go away, for none of this to have happened.

"Bella, love, don't panic. It's okay, Carlisle won't harm you, he just wants to make sure you're not hurt," he told me quickly, his voice calm and soft, trying to soothe me.

He took a small step forward and held his hand out, hoping I would place mine in his, but I didn't. Instead, I took a step back, away from him.

"No!" I said, my voice rising more than it should have. But I couldn't help the panic that was slowly taking over my every thought, and every movement.

"Bella, please. I need to know that you're okay. I need to know how badly you're hurt," he pleaded, his face holding a look of pain.

I could feel my anger rising at his persistence. I didn't normally lash out at Edward, but I also knew that my emotions were all of the place right now, and that I was a complete mess. That is the only rational explanation I can come up with for why I did what I did next.

"You want to know how badly I'm hurt, Edward? I hurt everywhere! Everything hurts! My heart, my head, my whole body. There isn't a thing on me that doesn't hurt in some way. So you want to know how badly I'm hurt? That's how badly!" I said hotly, my body shaking at the strength of emotions coursing through me as I tried to take in big gulps of air.

I tried to control my breathing, to get myself to calm down and slow my heart rate. After a few moments, I looked up at Edward again, who had remained silent after my outburst, only to find him staring at me intently, his eyes wide and anxious. That's when the guilt set in. The guilt for lashing out at him for no reason, other than him being concerned about me.

"I'm sorry," I choked out as I could feel tears beginning to dew up on the rims of my eyes again. "I shouldn't have -- I didn't mean --," I couldn't compose a full sentence as my tears began to fall.

"You don't have to apologize, Bella," he said softly, his face grim, mixed with both worry and sympathy. "Just please allow Carlisle to examine you. I would feel much better knowing that you're okay. It would bring me some small peace of mind."

And due to the extremely anxious look on his face, my resolve was slowly crumbling, despite my massive amount of fear towards the idea.

"I don't want to," I whispered, my eyes fixated on the golden carpet beneath my feet.

"I know," he said simply in a soft voice. "Would it help if I agreed to stay in the room with you, love?"

I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to be touched. Not by Edward, not by Alice, not by Carlisle, not by anyone. I didn't want this. But if I had no other choice, then I didn't want to do it alone. I wanted Edward.

"Promise you won't leave?" I whispered, my hand instinctively coming up to wipe the fallen tears from my face.

He nodded, causing his bronze hair to become even more tousled. "I do."

He continued looking at me for another moment, his eyes never leaving mine, as if to see if I was truly alright first.

"Shall I get Carlisle?" he asked softly. I hesitated for a brief few seconds before curtly nodding my head.

"Carlisle?" he called out softly, his eyes still never leaving mine, knowing his father would hear him from wherever he is within the house.

Not even a full minute later, Carlisle appeared in Edward's doorway.

"Hi Bella, Edward," the golden haired doctor nodded a hello to each of us. "What can I help you with, son?"

"I need you to examine Bella, to make sure she's not injured," he told him grimly, and I noticed that he was pressing his lips into a tight line.

"Did something happen?" Carlisle asked, concern filling his compassionate eyes as he threw a glance in my direction, clearly giving me a glance over to see if there were any visible injuries.

Apparently, he didn't know what had happened. He wasn't home yesterday when Alice and Edward found out, and there hadn't really been anything directly said about it today for him to have overheard what had happened. He was still unaware of it all.

"Jacob Black --," Edward growled, his lips curling up as he spat the name, "he raped Bella," he finished, causing me to flinch at his words. The only time those words had been spoken was when he asked if it was true, but aside from that, the mere mention of that word has been avoided.

Carlisle's eyes went large, filling with horror, concern and compassion. He looked directly at me, his face turning to one of sympathy.

"Would you come with me then, Bella, and we'll make sure you're okay?" he asked, his hand out stretched motioning for me to exit the room.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, willing myself to be brave. With that, I took a hesitant step foward and exited the room, with Edward only inches behind me the whole way as the three of us walked to another room.

Carlisle stopped to open the door, then allowed Edward and I to go in first. He motioned for me to sit on the exam table, which he must have brought home from work by the looks of it.

I complied, slowly lifting myself to sit atop it, and Carlisle turned to face me as he finished digging through his medical bag, pulling out a note pad before meeting my eyes and taking a seat in a nearby chair.

"Okay, Bella. I just need to ask you a few questions first; Is that alright?" he asked, his tone now more professional.

I nodded and looked towards Edward, who stood right beside the table, still not leaving my side, just as promised. His face was possibly almost just as wary and tense as mine.

"Jacob Black raped you?" Carlisle's voice asked gently, causing my head to snap in his direction. But after our eyes met for the briefest second, I quickly cast mine downward, not being able to look at him.

"Yes," I whispered while trying to still my now shaking hands.

"When did this happen?" he asked.

"Yesterday evening," my voice shook. I didn't want to be talking about this. Anything but this.

"Do you know if a condom was used?" he continued to ask, which caused me to gasp. I don't know if it was also something Edward heard in Carlisle's thoughts, or merely in response to the question, but I seen Edward begin to glare at his father. "Son, I need to know in order to properly help Bella to the fullest extent possible." He then turned his questioning eyes back to me. "Take your time to think about it for a minute, Bella. It's all right."

I closed my eyes, trying to think. Trying to remember that night. I could remember his hands all over me, his lips forcing rough kisses upon me, his tongue thrusting into my mouth. But it was all vague, it was all a daze. I didn't want to remember it, and I could feel my mind trying to fight me, trying to make me numb, to shut down just like it did that night. But that didn't happen. Instead, I was assaulted with images and memories that I didn't wish to relive.

Jacob's hands quickly made work of removing my jeans, pulling them down my legs along with my panties. I lay there completely still, my mind and body no longer cooperating to try and fight him off, no longer having the energy to. His hands roughly grabbed my thighs almost to the point of pain, forcing my legs apart. I felt his lips assault mine again, his skin overheating mine as he pressed himself on top of me, and I began to feel him force entry.

"No!" I let the scream escape me without meaning to.

"Shh, love, it's okay, you're safe now," Edward murmured from beside me, his face pained.

It wasn't until he said those words that I also realized I had begun to sob while I was lost in my memories. I furiously wiped the tears from my face, trying to get control back over my body.

Edward held his hand out to me for me to take, realizing it was possibly the only way to bring me any form of comfort right now. I stared at it for a long moment, unsure if it would help me, or make things worse. But a moment later I realized that this was Edward, and he would just be holding my hand. If it was too much, if I needed to pull away, I could, he would let me.

So with slight hesitation, I placed my shaking hand in his, and he gave it the most gentle of reassuring squeezes. I stared at our connected hands for a minute before Carlisle's voice pulled my attention back to him.

"Bella? Do you know if a condom was used?" he asked gently.

"I -- I don't know. I don't think so," I told him honestly as a few more tears spilled down my cheeks.

"Okay, Bella. Since it's been less than seventy-two hours since the rape took place, I can give you something to prevent pregnancy, in case a condom was not used. You would just need to take --" he began digging through his medical bag again, this time pulling out a packet of pills and handing them to me, "these two pills, and then you won't have to worry about any risk of pregnancy. Now I'll just get you some water --" he was cut off by the door opening, and Alice poked her head in, smiling apologetically and holding out a glass of water for Carlisle to grab. He nodded his thanks as she left the room and handed me the glass.

I quickly swallowed the two pills he had given me, and as I was swallowing, he began speaking again. "Now, you may find that you may feel nauseous. That's a common side effect after taking these pills. However, that's usually the only side effect you need to deal with. So if you're experiencing slight nausea, it's completely normal," he told me ruefully.

I nodded and handed him back the glass which he put aside on the desk that was within the room.

"Now, let's begin the physical exam," he said softly, his eyes now focused on mine. "Are you in any pain?"

"I, umm, I have some bruises," I whispered, "but they're not that bad," I added quickly, hoping to avoid any extra touching. I should have known it was useless.

"Let's have a look then, shall we?" Carlisle asked, his tone completely calm and I would usually find it comforting. But not right now. Not today.

I nodded, and pulled the sleeves of my shirt up, revealing the large hand print shaped bruises on my upper arms.

Carlisle let out an unnecessary breath, and Edward hissed and I could hear a growl beginning to rumble within his chest.

"Okay, Bella, I'm just going to touch the bruises and examine them, alright?" Carlisle cautioned me.

After I nodded my consent, Carlisle's cool hands slowly moved to touch the deep purpley blue, almost black colored bruises on my arms. I flinched, but tried to keep myself still as I fought to keep myself calm, to keep myself breathing even and only focus on Edward's hand holding mine, because if he was here, then I was safe. He would keep me safe.

He examined the other arm before asking, "are there any others?"

I hesitated before answering. I didn't want to tell him where the others were, because I knew what would happen once I did. But I felt Edward give my hand another squeeze before rubbing his thumb over my knuckles in a calming pattern.

"My thighs," I whispered as my body began to shake in fear.

"Okay, Bella. I'm going to ask you to remove your pants, and I will drape a sheet over your lower half to keep you as covered as possible, okay?" Carlisle asked in a low tone, his eyes gauging me for my reaction.

I squeezed my eyes shut and fought against the tears, but it was no use. They still slid down my face miserably as my body continued to shake.

"Would you like Edward to stay?" he asked me. I nodded quickly, and my grip on Edward's hand instinctively tightened. I couldn't do this alone. I needed him.

Carlisle gave a single nod before turning to grab a sheet from a cupboard along the wall, and asked me to lay down before draping it over me, asking me to remove my pants.

I unwillingly let go of Edward's hand for a minute, and managed to wriggle my way out of my pants before reaching for Edward's hand again, which he willingly gave me.

"I'm going to lift the sheet some, Bella," Carlisle warned me. I felt the cool air hit my legs, followed seconds later by snow cold fingers pressing along the tender bruises that marred the skin of my thighs.

I could feel my lungs fighting for air, my chest constrictingly tightly in panic as more tears gushed from my eyes.

"You're safe, Bella," Edward spoke softly in my ear, causing me to jump slightly at his unexpected closeness.

Carlisle placed the sheets back over my legs completely before speaking. "Your bruises should heal normally and will be fine, there's no reason to worry about them," he told me with a reassuring smile. "Is there anything else that hurts?"

I could feel my cheeks beginning to stain pink at his question, despite the panic in me. I knew what else hurt, and I didn't want to say it out loud, not in front of Carlisle, even if he was a doctor, and not in front of Edward.

"Bella?" Carlisle questioned, seeing my hesitation in answering.

"I -- it -- down there," I whispered, my voice trembling as I struggled to find a way to phrase my answer.

Recognition crossed Carlisle's features, and he quickly made his face unreadable. "You may be very uncomfortable with this, Bella, but if you're experiencing pain, it needs to be checked. I'm going to ask you to remove your underwear and bend your knees and lift your legs up so that your feet are flat on the table," he told me calmly, no doubt hoping his calm demeanor would help to settle my nerves.

But it didn't, not in the least. With shaking limbs, I finally managed to remove my underwear and position my legs as he instructed, and practically had a death grip on Edward's hand, refusing to let him go for even a second.

My breathing went ragged, and I could feel myself starting to shake uncontrollably as Carlisle headed to the end of the table by my legs. I wanted to pull them away, to curl up into a tight ball and refuse to let him touch me, to thrash and scream that he couldn't touch me. But as much as I was afraid of this, of whatever his exam entailed, I knew it was better for my own physical health, and for Edward's mental health if I allowed Carlisle to do what was needed, so I fought to control my reactions, to try and keep myself as calm as possible.

"Bella, I'd like you to take a deep breath. I won't harm you in any way, I just want to make sure that you don't need any other medication attention. I will be as quick and as gentle as possible," Carlisle told me as he began to lift the sheet up to my knees.

As soon as his hands came into contact with me, I couldn't hold back the scream that erupted from my lips as I fought for a minute to pull away, to move back from where Carlisle was.

"You're safe, love, you're safe. It's okay, you're safe," Edward kept whispering to me in an anxious tone, his other hand coming to engulf my hand between his two as his second hand began to rub soothing circles on the back of my hand.

I tried to take a deep breath, to get my lungs to inhale a lung full of air as I fought to control my shaking.

I was still trembling as I stilled myself as much as possible, and again more properly positioned myself the way Carlisle had originally asked, his face seeming remorseful of what his actions were doing to me.

He continued with the exam, my body continuing to shake, and my breathing never returning to normal. A few more shrill screams escaped me throughout the exam, and when they did, Carlisle would pause and give me a few moments to try and calm down, all the while Edward whispered calming words in my ear in a futile attempt to help keep me calm.

"All done," Carlisle informed me as he removed his gloves and moved away from my legs, thankfully being considerate to stand almost across the room from me now, giving me much needed space. "You can put your clothing back on now," he said softly as turned around to give me added privacy.

i quickly pulled them on under the sheet, feeling slightly less exposed when I did, before removing the sheet from over myself and sitting back up and clutching Edward's hand in my shaking one as tears still trickled down my face.

"How is she? Is she okay?" Edward asked his father, both his tone and expression extremely anxious as he ran his free hand through his hair, awaiting the news on my physical condition.

Fresh tears slid down my face as I caught a glimpse of Carlisle's expression after he turned around. It was wary and apologetic, and he was hesitating before continuing.

Only one thought ran through my mind; This wouldn't be good news.

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So...there you have it, chapter 8. It includes most of the exam...but not necessarily all of the results or findings from the exam. It ended up so long because, well, Edward and Bella got talking, and it just had to be said and dealt with, at least to an extent. Bella needed some reassurance. And there was a tiny little bit of progress, she allowed Edward to hold her hand.

And just a note...Carlisle allowed Bella to keep her shirt on and just show him the bruised areas on her arms so that she would be more comfortable, since the only bruises on her upper body were her arms. And I couldn't remember if Carlisle had somewhat of an exam room prior to Breaking Dawn..so now he does for this story, somewhat. And the pills Bella was given to prevent pregnancy are Plan B, which you can take up to 72 hours after unprotected intercourse in order to prevent pregnancy [and yep, I researched, and checked out side effects too, lol. I'm trying to keep it as realistic as I can].

Coming up next chapter...find out what Carlisle's going to say, and find out is Bella's okay. Plus, see how some of the other Cullens react to the news of Bella's rape.

So..what did you guys think? Good chapter? Worth the wait? You got lots of Bella and Edward time, though. So anyways, please review...I'm anxious to know what you thought, and let me know that you're still interested!