Me: I had a snow day today, so i might post up to THREE new chapps today! Because i had to split this into 2 chapps since i had way too much fun with it!

Ichigo: so, lemme get this straight. On snow days, you spend time writing about me and my private life?

Me: NOOOOO, i write about, you, Rukia's, AND Peyton's private life!

Ichigo: (sweatdrops) oh. well that makes it loads better.

Me: (hands Ichigo sheet of paper) here, like we practiced!

Ichigo: (looks at Jennifurball and reads off paper enthusiastically) YOU ARE SO WELCOME FOR THE COOKIE!

Me: Good boy. See, now you just made her day. don't you feel a bit better on the inside?

Ichigo: Sure.

Me: NOT TITE KUBO!

Lyrics: "I don't know why, I don't like what's in your eyes, and I'd love to split 'em wide/I'd rather go to hell than shake your hand or wish you well, in case you couldn't tell/ I could pretend, DUDE! Can't you understand/ I hate you, my friend.

And some call it obsession/ And others call it PURE HATE/ And others call it pathetic/But some, totally relate." - "I hate you (my friend), John Oszajca

Come Monday, Ichigo and Peyton had to serve their first of many detentions together. Why they couldn't have started last week, they weren't sure. But whatever.

"I love Karakura's idea of detention," Peyton muttered to herself happily as the teacher, Ms. Himuro, just left them there. Apparently Orihime's cupcake didn't settle well with her, which wasn't all that surprising, really.

Everyone immediately erupted into talking, and Peyton noticed some girls talking about Twilight. She rolled her eyes as they stole glances at "The Cullen Kid". Y'know, her. One girl noticed her eye-roll and blinked dumbly. "What's your problem?" Before Peyton could answer, a random spitball hit the girl square in the face, and she spazzed out. Wow. That kinda just made my day...!

"I don't get Twilight," Peyton stated as they walked home. Ichigo nodded in agreement, and Rukia was shocked. "What's not to get?"

"Well, several things. How could they survive all these years if the dudes sparkle? Either someone would've beat them with a crowbar for it by now, or they would've been found out. And another thing: they're not true vamps."

"WHAT?"

Peyton scoffed. "If they are, how come they've never attacked Bella during her period, hmm?"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "I can't believe we're having this conversation right now..."

Rukia nodded slowly. "You have a point. That IS strange! Huh. And those girls said you were a disgrace to the Cullens!"

"Obviously they haven't met the rest of my family."

Later on during the walk, Ichigo and Peyton were in the middle of a heated debate over where hot dogs came from when she abruptly stopped walking and squinted into the distance. "...Is that..? No way!"

Rukia glanced around frantically, thinking something was wrong. "What, is it a Hollow?"

Peyton waved her off. "No! Wouldn't your pager go off if it were? ...Excuse me a minute." She then ran towards the figure.

They laughed in disbelief, and he hugged her. "Jake!"

"Peyton? Holy crap!"

Ichigo and Rukia soon caught up with them, and question marks popped up above their heads. "Oh, um, sorry about that. Jake, Rukia, Ichigo. Rukia, Ichigo, Jake." He grinned and shook hands with them. Rukia smiled approvingly. Ichigo shook hands extra hard.

"Jake's one of my friends from back home. Dude, what're you doing here?"

Jake shrugged. "Dad moved us for his job. Some sort of business deal, it's only temporary, but we'll be here for a few months. Small world, huh?"

"I'll say. Where are you staying?"

He jerked his thumb behind him. "Back there somewhere, I'm still not good with the directions."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "You've never been good with directions, Jake."

He flashed a grin. "I'll show ya, if you want. Maybe you could show me a good way to get to the high school from there. I'm pretty much lost."

Ichigo pointed towards the high school, which was only about a hundred feet away. "You mean that one?"

"...Oh."

Peyton laughed. "Guys, can you go on without me?"

Rukia nodded happily, and Ichigo waved her off. Jake snaked an arm around her shoulders in a friendly way, and as they walked off, she nearly laughed out loud at the not-so-friendly look the two guys shot at each other when they thought she wasn't paying attention.

What dumbasses.

ENTRY #4:

The unthinkable has occurred. Jake moved to Karakura! I'm so excited. Now I have someone from my old life, and some friends from my new one. I have cake AND I can eat it too! OHHHH. WHAT now? I never really got that saying, anyway.

Now that I think about it, something's different about him, I just can't put my finger on it...Meh. Whatever. But what's even funnier is the natural territorial mood that occurs between two dudes. Which I get, 'cause they're two weird guys who have no idea what the other one's like. It's still freaking hilarious. But hopefully once they get to know each other, they'll play nice.

...Oh, who am I kidding. This is gonna be fucking hilarious.

ENTRY #4 IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE:

Three words:

What

The

Fuck?

How many people from America move to Karakura, and how many of them are from the same place and seem to be good friends? This Jake dude...I don't like him. I dunno what the hell it is, but something about him doesn't settle well. This dude better not be a douche. Or else I'll be forced to kick his ass.

The next day, Jake was in their homeroom waiting. "At least I showed up on time, so I didn't look like one of those losers who shows up late and everyone looks at them funny."

Peyton glared at him, and an icy aura surrounded them in the background. "Funny. That's what happened to me."

Jake waved her off. "Please. We all know YOU'RE not a loser though, P."

By lunch, almost every girl she knew (and most she didn't) had begged to be introduced to "The Hot Yankee Dude". Ichigo rolled his eyes as Peyton locked the door to the roof to keep a wave of girls from pouring in. "I see Jake's upped his status."

Peyton nodded, then eyed him slyly. "What do you think of him, Ichigo?"

Rukia's straw became really interesting as he poked it through the juice box with ease. "He's okay, I guess."

Rukia snorted a laugh. "Very convincing, Ichigo. Do all the Tennessee boys look like that?"

Peyton laughed, too. "Ha. Yeah, right. If they did, I would've committed suicide the day we moved here!"

"Well, now, us Karakura guys aren't THAT bad," Ichigo commented nonchalantly.

Peyton gave him a weird look. "Well, sure, I guess not.."

Jake also walked home with them, which was an interesting sight. He hid in the bushes until Peyton and Ichigo's detention was over, so no crazy-obsessed schoolgirls (or boys) would find him.

"I don't get why so many girls are drooling over him," Peyton commented more to herself as they headed down the hallway. She glanced sideways at Ichigo, who seemed in a better mood now.

Until they met up with Rukia and Jake. Jake instantly fell into stride on Peyton's right side, and she glanced between the two guys. Let the show begin.

"Hey P, do they have any bulls around here?"

Peyton laughed. "Where do you think we are, Spain?"

"C'mon now, Ole Man Zimmerman had plenty of bulls out in his field."

Rukia raised her brows in interest. "Ole Man Zimmerman?"

Jake told the story happily. "This one time, me and Peyton were hanging out with some friends when one of 'em got a stroke of genius."

"Dumbass-ness in my opinion," Peyton commented. Then she smiled innocently. "Heh. Go on."

"Anyway. He said he'd pay me fifty bucks if I slapped one of Zimmerman's bulls on the ass twice."

Rukia cocked her head. "Why twice?"

"If you slap it once, nothing happens. But after the first time, it's alert, and it'll charge you," Peyton explained.

"Yeah, what she said. So I did, and, well...I couldn't walk for about a week." Rukia laughed, and Ichigo and Peyton did a sort of half-laugh. Peyton had heard the story about eight million times from him and every other person that had been there. Ichigo was just moody, as per usual.

Peyton grinned. "Again, I shake my head at your stupidity."

After a while, the two guys lingered behind, and Rukia and Peyton walked ahead.

"How the hell did you meet that guy?" Rukia asked, making Peyton laugh.

"He lived three houses down. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is."

"He's hot."

"So?"

"Well, that's the big deal for giddy, overly-hormonal schoolgirls. Not to mention he's new. They acted the same way over your brother, you know."

Peyton nodded. "Good point. I guess we're the exceptions."

ENTRY #5:

It seems like all of Karakura's teens are going crazy over Jake's arrival. I don't quite get it. Sure, he's cute. There's hotter here in Karakura. Like this one kid I saw at the store the other day. Me and Lindsay followed him casually through about six aisles, he was that hot.

When I got to my house, Ichigo looked about to kill someone. It freaked me out. NOTE TO SELF: Ask Ichigo what the hell his problem is tomorrow. Also, get Jake to stop telling that stupid bull story. I've heard it so many times that if I hear it again, I'm gonna gouge my ears out with a spork.

...ANOTHER NOTE TO SELF: Figure out what the hell I'm gonna be for Halloween in three weeks. Yaaayyy...Halloween! My favorite hol-ii-daayyy!

ENTRY #5 IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE:

I think I might kill that kid. I seriously considered it. But wouldn't you after what he so casually told me? Oh, wait. I'm the only one who heard it besides Jake.

Here's what happened:

The two Midgets went ahead, and he stayed behind as if he seriously thought I cared what he had to say. And I didn't really, until he started talking about Peyton.

Jake: "Are you two going out?"

Me: "Hell no!"

Jake: "Oh. Cool. No offense, but thanks for being an idiot." (laughs like a douche)

Me: "Uh...you're welcome? Why am I an idiot again?"

Jake: "Oh, nothin'. I guess she's just hot to me."

Me: "Uhhh...yeah, I'd say it's just you. And Keigo."

Jake: "Nah, more than that, I'm sure. I mean, c'mon. Red hair, brown eyes, nice bod. A little short, but that's totally fine. Nice ass, too."

Me: (desperate to LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION!) "That's great, really. Why are you telling me this again?"

Jake: "Are you gay?"

Me: "What the- no!" (AWKWARD.)

Jake: "Oh, my house is this way. Later, Ichigo."

Me: "Yeah." (Waits till he's out of range) "...Douche."

I mean, come on! Who says shit like that? Out LOUD?

Well...every other dude on the planet at some point...BUT STILL!

No one's ever said that about PEYTON. The very thought of her being hot just...makes me shudder. No, really, I just shuddered while I was writing that.

Damn. What a douche.

After pretty much twisting Ichigo's arm behind his back to get him to tell her what happened yesterday, she laughed when he finished explaining.

"That's all? You looked like you were gonna kill someone."

"I was considering it."

Peyton folded her arms across her chest. "Honestly? Dude, every guy thinks about crap like that. ...Aren't you the guy here? You should know by now...Jeez. Anyway, you think I don't know he does? I've known him for five years. I've been aware of every girl he's ever set his sights on, myself included."

"But...but he's a jerk!"

"What, is it hard to think someone could think about me that way?"

"Well...Well, no, I guess not, but-"

"Alright then! Jeez, Ichigo. For a pervert, you sure don't take well to perverted thoughts about people."

"Well, no, it's not that. It doesn't bother me about most people, just..." He didn't finish his sentence, but they both knew what he was going to say.

Peyton grinned. "It's because he's American, isn't it?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, the permanent scowl on his face deepening. "Yep, that's it. You caught me. I hate Americans."

"TERRORIST!"

Next Friday, Rukia brought the word "Awkward" to a whole new meaning.

Jake had to take off early that day for some reason, so it was just the three of them walking home. And out of nowhere, she casually asked Peyton, "Is it true? That you're going out with Jake tonight?"

Ichigo had been drinking some random drink he had snagged from Orihime earlier, and it flew everywhere. "What?" he sputtered.

Peyton sweatdropped, and Rukia laughed nervously. "I'm guessing you didn't hear about it, Ichigo?"

"Hell no!" They both looked at her and asked at the same time, "ARE you?" Rukia sounded eager; Ichigo sounded PISSED.

She sweatdropped once again. "Uhhh...well, um, yes."

"Yay!"

"What the fuck?"

Peyton gave him a defensive glare. "What? I can go out with whoever I want, thank you very much."

"Yeah, but...He's a DOUCHE!"

"No he's not!"

"Uh, YEAH, he is!"

Peyton stomped her foot in annoyance. "Dammit Ichigo, I think I've known him longer than you have! If you weren't so damn thick-headed, maybe y'all would get along!"

"Thick-headed? I'M thick-headed? How the hell did this happen in the first place?"

Rukia, who had been watching them go back and forth with confusion, now perked up. Kon, who had been poking out of Ichigo's school bag, whispered to Rukia, "Oooh, this is getting GOOD!"

Peyton sighed. "Well, if you MUST know...I told him about the conversation we had. He apologized for saying all that, he said he just couldn't help himself. I asked if that was supposed to be an excuse for being an incurable pervert. He said no, but if I would just go on ONE date with him and see how it went, at least I'd know for sure if I were missing out on anything. While it was kind of offending, I figured why not and said yes," she concluded casually.

Rukia nodded in approval. "Niiccee."

Peyton grinned. "Thanks, I thought he was pretty smooth too."

Ichigo looked between them as if they had just announced Armageddon was coming tomorrow. "WHAT? How come you didn't tell me?"

"Well, I didn't think it was any of your business."

"News flash: it is."

"Alright, I'll tell you next time."

"There's a next time?"

"Maybe...?"

"What the hell, Peyton!"

"What the hell's your problem, Ichigo?" Peyton finally yelled.

He waved her off. "...Problem? Psh. I don't have a problem. YOU'RE the one with the problem."

"Fine then. I guess I'll see you around. AFTER my date, which you have no problem with."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Yeah, I know. So good!"

"Fine then!"

"FINE."

"FINE!"

"FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE!"

"..."

"..."

"GOOD!"

"FINE!"

She stomped up to her house, but he yelled "FINE THEN!" right before she shut it.

CREEAAKK. "FINE!" SLAM.

"...And you told me all that because?" Lindsay asked, rifling through Peyton's closet.

She crossed her arms, still annoyed with Ichigo, staring at the ceiling above her bed. "Because he pissed me off! I don't see why he cares so damn much."

Lindsay scoffed. "He's probably jealous."

She shot into an upright position. "Ichigo? Kurosaki? We're talking about the same person, right?"

Her sister laughed. "Last time I checked, yeah."

"Oh. Well in that case, no, there's no way he of all people is jealous. He just really, really, really, really, REALLY doesn't like Jake. If anything, his ego's slightly bruised."

Lindsay shrugged. "Okay, whatever you say. But that's what it SOUNDS like."

"Psh. Funny."

AN HOUR LATER...

Freshly showered and dressed, Peyton finally gave in to Lindsay's begging and let her do her hair. "Why not? You've done everything else."

It took Lindsay about the whole length of Peyton's shower (and she was known for taking extremely long hot showers, during which she now always checked every five minutes to make sure no Soul Reapers popped up in her bathroom without her noticing...) to decide on what Peyton would be wearing.

Which turned out to be something so simple that Peyton facepalmed when thinking about how long it took for her demented sister to deem it suitable: skinny jeans with a dark purple v-neck tank top. I mean, really, even Peyton could've picked that out. But, since the date wasn't much of a big deal anyway, Peyton thanked her nonetheless.

Three burns later, Lindsay unplugged the iron and clapped happily. "All done! It's a work of art!" Peyton was almost afraid to look, but she did, and smiled. Lindsay had teased and curled it, so her hair was now tousled and very touchable (thank you Sudzz shampoo and 24-hour spray that makes that tangled mess called hair soft). "Awesome, Lindsay. Purely awesome."

She slipped on some bracelets, hooked in a random pair of earrings, and headed for the stairs. "I'm off."

When she went downstairs, Seth looked her up and down and sighed. "I think I'm gonna cry. My little sis is going on a date."

"Dumbass, I've had four boyfriends."

"Not as far as dad knows. Of course, that could change..."

"Do it, and I swear to God I'll tell him about your porn collection."

"I don't have a porn collection! Pshh..."

Miya and Peyton both rolled their eyes, and she waved Peyton off. "Go on, have fun!"

"Yeah. Later."

Peyton shook her head as she left, hoping this date wouldn't be boring. Screw Ichigo, I'm fucking GOING!