Me: AAAAANND WE'RE BACK!
Ichigo: We?
Rukia: You're such a smart-ass, you know that?
Me: (smirks slyly, sliding next to Ichigo) Ohh, he's just all in a tizzy because there's slight fluff in this one, riiiiight Ichigo?
Ichigo: N-no!
Rukia and Me: (high stage-whispers) DENIAL!
Ichigo: SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH THE STUPID CHAPTER!
Me: Well, FINE then! Oh, and if you want to see an absolutely AWESOME drawing of Peyton done by an awesome fan, type in this baby: jennifurball . deviant art . com (no spaces). She's awesome-looking...THANKS JENNIFAH!
DISCLAIMER: how many times do we have to go through this again?
Lyrics: Check yes Juliet, I'll be waiting/Wishing, wanting, yours for the taking/Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye/We're flying through the night, We're flying through the night/Way up high/The view from here is getting better with/You by my side
"This is un-freaking-believable!"
Rukia sighed from her position on the edge of her closet, legs dangling off the side. "Ichigo, why are you still moping?"
"I'm not moping! I just can't believe her!"
"Well, Ichigo, she can go out with pretty much whoever she wants. Unless she was your girlfriend, there's no way you're winning this conflict."
"...Psh. Well, that'd never happen, Rukia! Why would you even suggest that?"
"I didn't suggest anything, I just said-"
"I get it!" Ichigo sighed for about the fiftieth time. "I just REALLY hate that guy. Very very much. Douche."
Rukia rolled her eyes. "I dunno, he seems alright to me..."
Ichigo threw his hands up in the air. "Of course he does! To YOU GIRLS! Until he's with fellow guys. He looks at her like a prize or something."
"...Ichigo, are you sure this isn't all in your head?"
"YES, Rukia, I AM!"
Rukia jumped and took a moment to regain her balance. "Well, then, sounds like you're SOL."
"What?"
"Shit Outta Luck."
"Yeah, I know, but how did YOU know that?"
Rukia rolled her eyes and was about to reply when his bedroom door randomly flew open. Dad and Yuzu stood there glaring at him, glass cups in hand. "Son! Get off your orange ass and stop moping!"
Ichigo's temple throbbed. "I'm not moping! And my ass is NOT orange, thank you very much!"
"Well, whatever you're doing, and whatever shade your ass is, neither are helping! I will not allow my future daughter-in-law to go on a date with another man and give HIS father grandchildren because my son didn't do anything about it!"
Ichigo sweatdropped, eye twitching. "...There is so much wrong with what you just said.."
Yuzu strode over and looked up at him defiantly. "Ichigo, papa's right! Are you really going to let Peyton go out with this jerk?"
"Well, uh..."
"Maybe she doesn't realize how much of a douche he is, and someone needs to show her! If you really cared about her at all, you'd be that person!"
Ichigo considered this. She was his friend. "Go Ichigo go!" Rukia yelled excitedly.
Ichigo jumped up and went outside. "I'll go just to get you to stop cheering me on like that." But then he nearly froze his ass off, so he went and grabbed a jacket. Then he went outside.
FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER...
Since he forgot to ask if anyone knew where Peyton and Jake were going, Ichigo ended up looking through the window of every building like a stalker. Or a creep. Or maybe just an idiot. OR...
...Like a creepy idiot that stalks people. More specifically Peytons. Yeah, probably that.
Finally, he found them after peering through what had to be the eightieth food place. For some reason, when he saw them, his gut felt weird, like it was twisting up. Without even thinking of a strategy, he waltzed into the joint and looked around casually.
After a few moments, he heard Peyton distinctly mutter "Oh SHIT," and saw her hide her face with a menu from the corner of his eye as if her hair weren't poking out from behind it.
This made him chuckle, and the chick behind the counter eyed him strangely. "Uhh...can I help you?"
"I know I've said it already, but you look awesome, P."
Peyton waved him off. "Thanks, but it's really not that great. I froze my ass off on the way here." Jake laughed, and she cracked a smile. On the inside, she was already starting to die little by little of boredom. There just wasn't much to talk about; she'd known the date was doomed from the start when they met up at a food place. Two people by themselves across the table from each other on their first date just spelled out "awkward", she was more of an active person to begin with.
Just when she had decided she'd find a way to salvage the date JUST to prove Ichigo wrong and further piss him off, she noticed something truly horrifying.
"Oh, SHIT," she muttered to herself before covering her face with the menu.
"Damn, P. Hungry, or do you just need glasses?"
"Yeah, sure," she said anxiously, trying to be able to see Ichigo over the menu while not being seen by him at the same time. She finally gave up, hoping against hope he hadn't seen her yet.
"...C'mon Peyton, you know I saw you." Shit. On. Me. Just what I needed...this is gonna be a trainwreck...No, scratch that, I'm just gonna kick his ass.
Ichigo was so loving the look on Douche's face as he came into his view. "...C'mon Peyton, you know I saw you."
The look on her face as she slowly set down the menu suggested whatever she was thinking was very inappropriate for young audiences.
"So, what's so interesting about that menu, anyway? Anything good?"
Without hesitation, she answered in a deadly voice, "As a matter of fact, the chopped strawberries sound very tempting right now."
Ichigo gulped in spite of himself before looking at Jake. "'Sup, dude?"
His eye twitched slightly. "Nothing much. Kinda busy."
Ichigo decided to play the Dumb Card. "Ohhhh! Are you guys on a date?"
"YES," Jake answered. "What was your first clue?"
Peyton looked between the two. "Hey Ichigo?"
"Why yes, Peyton?"
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure."
He gave Jake a girly little wave before Peyton yanked him around the corner, into that little room with the bathrooms and whatnot. At least she had the decency not to kick his ass in public.
She gave him the fiercest look he had ever seen before smacking him upside the head as hard as possible. "Why are you trying so damn hard to ruin this for me? Honestly, one date with Jake and you absolutely have to interrupt?"
"What? I simply came for a bite to eat and saw you here-"
"The hell you did!"
Ichigo decided to let her have that one. "Okay, yeah, that was a lie. But seriously, Peyton, you shouldn't even go out with this guy once."
Peyton eyed him warily. "Give me one good reason."
"Only one?"
"ICHIGO!"
"Alright. Just one of the many reasons is the way he looks at you. It drives me insane."
She gave him a skeptical look. "Care to elaborate?"
Ichigo sighed. "How to put this...He looks at you like a fat guy looks at cake. Like you're a trophy. Also, his eyes seem permanently glues to your ass, and you shouldn't be looked at like that. You're not a trophy, or cake, or a walking ass, you're Peyton."
Peyton was pissed still, for sure, but now she had to admire him a little bit. Not often, if ever, would Ichigo say something like that. Although it was hard to believe THAT was the main reason he hunted them down...nicely done, Kurosaki. She also had to bite her lip to keep from laughing when he mentioned her being a walking ass.
"C'mon, let's ditch him!" he said suddenly, making her jump and blink in surprise.
"What?"
"Oh, please, he'll bounce back fast. They always do."
Peyton stared at him for a few seconds, considering, then sighed and shook her head. "Why not."
Ichigo pumped his fist triumphantly, making her roll her eyes. "YES!"
On their way out the back doors, Ichigo pulled her the other direction. Peyton planted her feet defiantly. "Oh, c'mon, Ichigo. We're not seriously gonna rub it in his face that I'm ditching him, are we?"
Ichigo scoffed. "No way. Him NOT knowing right away is way more fun."
He pulled her along and stopped in front of a hostess behind the counter. "NOW you can help me! I'm trying to sneak this midget here out without that guy over there noticing. Here."
He gave her two twenties. "I'll pay you forty bucks to show him a good time after he realizes he's been ditched. But be sure to count how long it takes for him to notice. It makes it more fun."
The dark-haired hostess shrugged and stuffed the bills into her breast pocket. "It's a deal. He's hot." They gave her thumbs up and bolted for the back doors.
THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES LATER...
"Whoa whoa whoa, what's all this?"
Ichigo gave her a weird look. "What does it look like? It's a fair."
Peyton perked up so fast it was kind of scary. "Well then why the hell did Jake not bring me here? I love fairs!"
"Good thing I sprung you then."
"Yes, very good indeed," Peyton said happily, already eying the awesomest rollercoaster they had.
"You're not gonna cry, are you?" Peyton asked with a smirk as she pulled down her harness after dragging Ichigo over to said rollercoaster.
Ichigo gave her a "Get Real" look as he brought his down. "Yeah. Right. When it comes to coasters, NOTHING can freak me out."
"You say that NOW. Have you ever been on this one?"
"Nope. It's new."
"Oh, good. We're both newbies." She handed him a random Kleenex. "Here. Just in case."
Ichigo rolled his eyes and tossed it over his shoulder, where it landed smack in the face of whoever was behind him. "Hahaha. Hilarious. Hey, wait a minute. Why the hell'd you have a Kleenex with you in the first place?"
Peyton shrugged, and then they started moving. It was truly the awesomest coaster ever, with plenty of flips and twists and turns, with a good amount of steep drops.
Sadly, Ichigo didn't cry. They were both too busy screaming and laughing and whooping to notice the couple behind them. If they had, they might've gone into cardiac arrest at the total twist of it all. And Peyton just might have thrown up.
Who was this couple, you ask? Well, you'll find out when Peyton and Ichigo find out.
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...
"Hey, Soul Reaper." She jerked her thumb towards one of the stands: the classic Throw-A-Baseball-To-Hit-The-Targets Booth. "I bet I make more shots than you."
Ichigo took one look at it and scoffed. "You're so on."
Soon, they were tied nineteen-to-nineteen, and there was actually a crowd around them to listen to their smack-talk.
"Okay, so maybe I went easy on you, being the nice guy I am. But now I'm seriously gonna kick your ass, Peyton."
"Huh. Funny, I was going easy on YOU since you brought me here in the first place. I could kick YOUR ass at this both with both hands behind my back."
"...How would you throw the ball then?"
"I'd manage."
He rolled his eyes. "Sure you would."
"Okay, you know what? I'm not going back and forth anymore starting now, 'cause I'm gonna concentrate, throw this baseball, and beat your ass at this booth!" Peyton declared.
"Uh-huh. Right."
"Shut up!"
"See? You can't resist me and the tempting argument."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah?"
"HELL YEAH!"
"Fine, on the count of three, we throw the balls at the same time. THEN we'll see who the master is here!"
"You're on!"
"One..."
"Two..."
"THREE!" they yelled together before throwing their baseballs as hard as possible. By some strange twist of fate, the guy behind the booth was so absorbed in flirting with a girl that he moved right in front of Ichigo's target, and Peyton's went in perfectly.
"WHAT? NO WAY! REMATCH, I DEMAND A GODDAMN REMATCH!"
Peyton waved him off. "Please. You would've missed anyway, it would've bounced off the rim." The crowd laughed and applauded before moving on. By another twist of fate, the boy before them claimed the last character that WASN'T Chappy, so guess what she ended up with.
Ichigo couldn't help but laugh at Peyton's face. "That's so damn funny! Hahahahahaha...ha..." He cleared his throat and wordlessly took the cursed figure out of the poor girl's hands before she hyperventilated. "Rukia can have it."
They had just tried out the last roller coaster when Ichigo stopped dead in his tracks, mouth ajar in shock. "Holy shit."
Peyton gave him a worried look. "What, what's wrong?" He pointed at a couple in the distance, and she turned green.
"Is that...is that Orihime...and my brother?"
He looked about as sick as she did. "Yes, I believe it is."
"Ichigo?"
"Yeah?"
"My brother is exchanging saliva with Orihime! Orihime not only landed a senior, but it was my brother. MY BROTHER, Ichigo, are you seeing this?"
"Yeah, I am."
She linked her arm through his. "I need support." They both knew she didn't really, but whatever. Why not? A few minutes later, they both jumped as they heard a huge boom and bang.
"...Oh. Fireworks. Psh, I knew that!"
"Sure you did, Ichigo."
"You jumped just as hard, okay?"
Peyton laughed and shook her head. "Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."
As they were leaning against the wall of one of the buildings, watching the display, Ichigo remembered something totally random:
FLASHBACK:
"Pst. Pst. PSSSSSSSTTTTT! ICHIGO!" Rukia hissed.
Ichigo slowly turned to look at her, secretly happy for the distraction from biology homework. "YES, Rukia?"
"Have you ever looked at a girl?"
"What the hell kind of question is that?"
"No, not looked at a girl. LOOKED at a girl." Seeing how totally lost Ichigo was, Rukia cleared her throat and showed him her romance manga of the week. Some doctor dude was staring at this hot nurse chick, and the caption read: "When I saw Fumi, I knew I had never looked at a girl before. Not the way I saw her. I realized there was a difference between looking at a girl, and seeing a girl. Between knowing she's there and noticing every little detail that comes with her presence. Yes, I had never before seen a girl as I saw Fumi now."
Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Rukia? Shouldn't this doctor dude be more focused on the heart transplant?"
"HEART TRANSPLANTS AREN'T ROMANTIC!"
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Jeez..."
END FLASHBACK.
And with all those fireworks going off and lighting up every little expression that crossed her face, he thought, Whoa, Doctor Dude was right. Guess the flashback wasn't so random after all.
AN HOUR LATER...
Peyton shivered for about the hundred-millionth time as they hit the two-blocks-away mark to their neighborhoods. Stupid Lindsay, picking out the goddamn outfit while knowing it'd be chilly...
"Ichigo?"
"Yeah?"
"Why DO you hate Jake so much?"
He rolled his eyes. "Haven't we been over this? He's a douche!"
Peyton shrugged. "I dunno, I guess people change...He does stare at my ass a lot. It's more than a bit annoying."
"See? Told you. And don't you go blaming it on the guy mind, either!"
Peyton gave him a doubtful look. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Be honest, how many times have you looked at my ass?"
Ichigo turned about five shades of red. And yes, one of which was about the equivalent of strawberries. Shocker. "W-well do you mean like staring or glancing?"
"All of the above."
"There was only two options," he pointed out.
"Quit stalling and answer the damn question," she shot back in annoyance.
"...Okay, I get your point!"
"How many?"
"I get it!"
"Dammit Ichigo, how many times?"
"...Okay, MAYBE five. Or seven. Glances."
Peyton couldn't help but laugh. "Isn't that about the average of guys' ass-staring?"
"About."
"Well then, there you go. I can blame it on the guy mind if I want."
Ichigo groaned. "He's a douche, I swear!"
Peyton laughed again. "I said I could if I wanted to." She suddenly thought of something, causing her to stop walking and narrow her eyes. "Wait a minute...he does seem to pop up right behind me whenever I drop something..." She gasped suddenly, temple throbbing. "That perv!"
Ichigo smirked. "There's hope for you yet. See, and without me finding you guys, you never would've realized that. Holy crap, Yuzu was right..."
"Huh?"
"Oh, uh, nothing."
"Whatever-" She cut off by covering her nose and making an extremely weird and loud squeaky noise. "...You say."
Ichigo sweatdropped. "What was that supposed to be?"
"I sneezed, dumbass."
"That didn't sound like any sneeze I've heard."
Peyton waved him off. "Honestly Ichigo, you should know by now that I'm not your average person."
"True that."
After about her fifth sneeze, Ichigo sighed and threw his jacket at her. "Here. That's getting annoying as hell."
Peyton had a mini-spazz-attack, not expecting him to throw something at her, and shot him a look as she slipped it on. He sweatdropped. "Interesting."
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
One..two...THREE!
"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, DUMBASS?" Peyton yelled as she jumped him, hitching onto his back somewhat-gracefully.
Ichigo's reaction was to turn around in circles like an idiot yelling "What the FUCK?"
Peyton laughed maniacally, getting a death-grip on his shoulders and latching her legs around his waist. After about ten minutes of trying (and failing pathetically) to fling her off, he sighed and let her stay. "Monkey from hell."
Peyton grinned. "Never been called that before. How original. I applaud you, good sir."
"You better applaud me. You stole my jacket AND half my body!"
"Actually, you THREW me the jacket. Hence why I sought my revenge by hitching a ride as well. Pure genius, if you ask me."
"Well, I DIDN'T ask you."
"Yes you did. You just don't know it."
"Oh, of course."
"Yep."
By the time Ichigo got them home, Peyton was fast asleep. Now that he thought about it, it was actually a good thing she jumped him, because otherwise he would've frozen his ass off. But with his jacket AND her body heat coming from his back, it wasn't as bad.
For some weird reason, he ran into Rukia and Lindsay. They scared the crap out of him, and he was lucky he didn't drop Peyton. "You don't just pop out of nowhere! What the hell's wrong with you guys?"
Rukia sweatdropped, and Lindsay eyed him suspiciously. "Something's wrong with this picture. Why is my sister on your back and wearing different clothes?"
"ICHIGO, WHAT DID YOU DO?"
Ichigo spazzed out at the look on Rukia's face. "I didn't do anything! She's wearing the same clothes, just with a jacket! Dirty minds!"
Lindsay giggled with embarrassment. "Sorry, Ichigo. Damn, she's out like a light. Hey, wait, I thought she was supposed to be on a date with Jake?"
"Change of plans," he answered, a satisfied smirk on his face. "She had more fun with me anyway."
Lindsay turned around. "Here, put her on my shoulders instead and I'll take her home."
Ichigo reluctantly tried to pry her hands off of his neck first, but she was latched on tight. "Uhhh..."
Rukia rolled her eyes. "Lemme try, whimp." All she did was nearly choke him to death.
Rukia and Lindsay sweatdropped. "Well, that's not good. Dad'll kill us all if some guy brings her home." She looked to Rukia. "I know! Can she stay at your place?"
Ignoring Ichigo's look of pure terror at the thought of his dad and Yuzu seeing this, Rukia immediately nodded. "Sure. She practically lives there as it is."
"Awesome!" Lindsay kissed Ichigo's cheek happily, making him turn bright red. "Thanks for saving Peyton! That guy IS kind of a douche now, he won't stop looking at my ass..."
Ichigo sweatdropped. "Now how come even YOU could see that, but it took all my powers of persuasion to get Peyton to see that?"
Lindsay shrugged. "I'm not too surprised. They grew up together. To think of him as anything but a good friend is kinda hard, y'know?"
"Oh."
She waved goodbye to them and ran off. "See ya later, guys!"
Rukia eyed him slyly as they waved goodbye. "So what did you guys do?"
"...Oh, not much," he said mysteriously, smirking to himself.
Me and Rukia: (happily munching on popcorn) Awwwww!
Ichigo: (turning about five shades of red) Okay, you know what? That chapter doesn't bug me at all, so stick THAT up your ass!
Rukia: Hey, watch it!
Ichigo: (turns to me like a scorned puppy) ...Sorry.
Me: Aw, it's okay.
ALL TOGETHER NOW! REVIEW!