Well. I'm back! Sorry about that, I had an awesome idea for a new story and had to get it out there. You know.
Ichigo: No, we don't. We have lives.
Me: Don't make me Chris Brown you.
Ichigo: Ohhhh noooo. I'm shaking in my boots. (total sarcasm)
Me: Damn STRAIGHT you are! (Innocent voice) Anyways, enjoy!
Ichigo: (turns to Rukia) ...She scares me sometimes.
Two weeks later, Peyton was so bored that she decided to take a walk. So there she was, on the brink of belting out to Dashboard Confessional, when Ichigo popped up right in front of her. Peyton screamed and fell off the curb she'd been balancing on as she walked, making him bust out laughing.
"Goddammit, Ichigo! That's not funny!" she whined, standing up and brushing herself off with a temple throb.
"Do you always get this jumpy around Halloween?" he asked with a hint of a laugh still in his voice.
"No. Your face scares me year-round," she shot back smugly.
"Okay, I'll let you have that one," he said in grudging defeat, falling into step beside her.
"Don't you have something more productive to do than scare me? Like, oh, I dunno...defeating Hollows or training so you can continue to at least HOPE to be as badass as me?"
"Nope. Don't you have something more productive to do than walk around aimlessly? Like, oh, I dunno...training with Hat-and-Clogs so you can continue to keep from frying everyone stupid enough to touch you?"
"Nope."
"No training or anything? Seriously."
"No, Ichigo, I'm at Urahara's right now. This is just a hologram," she snapped in annoyance.
He drooped. "That's not fair...When he was training me, I was lucky to use the goddamn BATHROOM between sessions..."
She sweatdropped. "Thanks for sharing. Maybe I'm just progressing quicker than you did," she said innocently, making his temple throb menacingly. "Are you stalking me now or something?" she asked, trying to change the subject before they got in an argument for the next ten minutes over training.
"No, you wish. I was told by Rukia that if I didn't find you, I'd be punished severely. And with Rukia, I take that very seriously," he muttered. They both cringed at all the mental images of what Rukia was capable of doing.
"What does she want, and why couldn't she find me herself?"
"Well...it's a long story, but basically she needs your help with finding a costume."
Peyton waved him off. "Baahh, that's easy!"
"Yeah, she mentioned something about wanting to look, and I quote, 'sexy'. So I also went to get Matsumoto after pointing out you were the last person to go to when it comes to the sexy department," he called out as she ran off to find Rukia.
She stopped dead in her tracks, turning on her heel to look at Ichigo as he smirked at her. "...WHAT. Was. That?" she asked, eye twitching as an evil aura surrounded her.
"You heard me," he said smugly, but his face fell when she started stomping towards him. "Um...Peyton, I was just kidding...C'mon, I nearly died two weeks ago, let's not be rash...PEYTON, HAVE MERCY!" he shouted, running for his life.
"GET BACK HERE, JACKASS!"
FIVE HOURS LATER...
"For the hundredth time, Chappy is unacceptable!" Matsumoto and Peyton yelled from outside the dressing room, five or so stores later.
"But I picked up a, uh...'Sexy Ms. Chappy'. Can I wear that?" Matsumoto was about to say "Whatever," but Peyton looked absolutely petrified, so she said, "NO, Rukia." Ignoring Rukia's complaining from within the dressing room, Matsumoto looked at Peyton with a quirked brow. "What happened to you?"
She looked at her with a temple throb, hair sticking out randomly and a bruise already showing up on her arm. "...Ichigo happened."
"Ichigo did that to you?" she asked with slight alarm, and Peyton rolled her eyes.
"Yeah. He looks much worse, trust me. ...Plus, I kicked him in the balls by mistake, so I kinda deserved the punch," she muttered, referring to her slightly-swollen cheek.
Matsumoto sweatdropped. "...And...what brought this on?"
"He accused me of not being sexy basically," she muttered with slight embarrassment, knowing it sounded stupid as soon as it left her mouth.
"...I didn't know Ichigo beat up girls," Matsumoto commented with a giggle. "It seems pretty unlike him!"
"He usually doesn't. I don't think he really considers me a girl, I piss him off and kick his ass too much," she grumbled, the thought making her a little depressed.
Matsumoto pouted. "Well, we can't allow that. Halloween's coming up! Perfect time to remind him you're a woman! ...Or at least remind his 'little friend'," she said thoughtfully.
Peyton turned bright red, spastically waving her arms. "M-M-MATSUMOTO!"
"Or big friend, it could be either way! ...They say you can tell by the size of his hands. I haven't checked his hands, maybe we should next time!" she said with a rather mischievous glint in her eyes.
"What're you two talking about out there?" Rukia wondered.
"Just girl talk, Rukia!" Matsumoto replied cheerfully. "Right, Peyton?"
She just crossed her arms, sinking lower and lower in her chair. "Right...Just as traumatizing as it usually is..."
"...I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I SHOULD BE! NONE OF THIS IS SEXY!" Rukia suddenly shouted, making them both jump.
Matsumoto sighed heavily. "There's plenty of sexy things here, you just have to know where to look!"
Peyton grabbed a random costume. "For example, er...Cat Woman! She's plenty sexy! And played by Halle Berry."
"Think of her as Yoruichi in superhero form," Matsumoto added.
There was a long pause, and then Rukia flung open the dressing room door. "...Where's the Cat Woman costume?"
TOMORROW MORNING...
When Peyton got to school, she immediately smacked Ichigo upside the head. "Ow! What was that for?"
"Why didn't you tell me we could wear our costumes to school today?"
"Rukia could've told you!"
"I thought she knew!"
She looked from Rukia and her cat ears to Ichigo and his Chuck Norris outfit.
"You both suck!"
Keigo popped up as Ichigo opened his mouth to shout something perverted back at Peyton, and checked her out. "What are you supposed to be? You look like your normal beautiful self!"
BAM!
"...Love hurts," Keigo groaned from the floor. Ichigo and Rukia exchanged a smirk, while Orihime and Tatsuki shook their heads sadly.
"I pity the guy, I really do."
"He's so annoying, though."
"Isn't he?"
THAT AFTERNOON...
"Are you done YET?" Peyton yelled at Lindsay. "If I was done, I wouldn't still be messing with you, now, would I?" she yelled back as she applied more mascara.
She then shoved her head down, tousled her hair, applied more of that magical Touch Me Hairspray, and simply stated, "Flip."
As Peyton rolled her eyes and did so, a random gong noise rung out in the background for emphasis. The two sisters sweatdropped. "Am I the only one who immediately thought of Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels?" Peyton asked.
"Okay, NOW, what're you gonna wear?" Lindsay wondered, tapping her chin and shifting weight from one go-go boot to the other. She had ironed her blonde hair so it was pin-straight, pulled it back with a headband, and had on black eyeliner and thick mascara that contrasted nicely with her bright blue eyes. She was also wearing a black-and-white mod 1960s minidress with irregular black and white circles all over it. Complete, of course, with huge hoop earrings and white go-go boots.
"...Oh, CRAP, I forgot to get one!" Peyton moaned.
"How? Halloween's, like, your favorite holiday."
"I was too busy talking Rukia out of getting a Chappy costume!" she wailed, banging her head against the counter of her bathroom repeatedly. Right on cue, her bedroom door slammed open, and Peyton and Lindsay whirled around to look. In strode Matsumoto, who tossed something to Peyton. "Good thing your good pal Rangiku was determined to ensure Ichigo saw you could be sexy, or else you'd be screwed!" she said cheerfully.
"...Matsumoto, what're you supposed to be?" Lindsay asked with a sweatdrop, looking pointedly at her revealing-as-usual clothes as Peyton gaped down at the package in her hands.
"I'm not dressed yet, Lindsay," she replied with a sweatdrop of her own.
"Phew, good, you scared me for a second there! ...Peyton, why do you look so pale?"
Peyton looked up at Matsumoto. "...I think you handed me your costume by mistake. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"
"It's a gangbanger costume! ...Thought it'd be funny."
"B-B-But, look at that neckline! And what's with the lacy bra?"
"Oh, I picked that one out at Victoria's Secret. It'll look much better than an undershirt, trust me on this."
"Matsumoto, you've got to be kidding me. This..." She trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief. Lindsay took the package, ripping it open and laying out the outfit for her own approval.
"...Rangiku Matsumoto, you're a genius," she declared cheerfully, and Peyton's jaw dropped.
"TRAITOR!"
Matsumoto just giggled before heading for her bedroom door. "Just put it on, Peyton. You'll thank me one day," she assured her, winking before leaving the room.
Peyton sighed heavily as Lindsay handed her the bra. "...Goddamn it, I can't believe I'm doing this."
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...
When Seth saw her as they went down the driveway, he yelled and covered his eyes.
"Ahhhhh! NOOOOO! That can NOT be my baby sister!" Orihime giggled, arm linked through his, and Peyton sweatdropped.
"What, I can't be attractive?"
"Attractive, yes. Sex kitten? Hell to the no! MY EYES!"
Lindsay rolled her eyes. "You're just pissed 'cause now you're thinking really dirty thoughts with someone's head juxtaposed where hers should be."
"...Maaaybe...C'mon Orihime, let's go before I have to watch the boys drool over her and become scarred for life. I don't want this image permanently etched into my brain," he said quickly, making Orihime laugh some more.
Peyton bit her lip as she followed Lindsay, trying to ignore the stares she was feeling from random passersby. "Linds, are you sure this is a good idea? I don't wanna look like a slut..." she muttered as a kid ran past her giggling. Their mom took one look at her and steered her kid clear away from her, which wasn't exactly comforting.
Lindsay laughed. "Sis, the whole point of Halloween IS to look like a slut! ...Either way, you don't look like a slut. You just look hot. I know it's new to you, but welcome to the Hottie Club. You're a temporary member!" she said cheerfully, making Peyton sweatdrop.
"And somehow, I can actually picture this being a club..."
FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"You sure they said meet up at Urahara's?" Lindsay asked her as they checked their phones for about the millionth time.
"Yes!"
Then the door randomly threw open, and there they all stood. Rukia and Ichigo were arguing over who would win in a fight, and Matsumoto was adjusting her nurse's cap.
"I'm telling you, Chuck Norris wins all!"
"But Cat Woman kicks ass! Trust me, I watched all the movies she's in with Karin and Yuzu for two days!"
"Not more ass then Chuck Norris!"
"Oh yeah? I'd win, 'cause I'd shoot you both," Peyton commented from the sidelines. "Now drop it, before a catfight breaks out."
They glanced at her to shout at her to stay out of it, but both ended up doing a double-take. Ichigo's jaw hit the ground, and Matsumoto giggled. "There you are!"
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Renji wondered.
"Gangbanger. Apparently, it's supposed to be funny," Peyton said dully, looking at Matsumoto as if trying to kill her with her eyes.
Rukia eyed her in disbelief. "You'd think, knowing you. But, damn-"
"That's the hottest gangbanger costume I've ever seen," Toshiro commented, making everyone turn to look at him.
Toshiro shrugged. "It needed to be said."
Ichigo sweatdropped. "How ooc can you GET, Toshiro?"
Matsumoto grinned proudly. "It was all me! You're welcome, Peyton!"
"Well, we all know Peyton couldn't do it herself," Ichigo commented.
BAM! THWACK!
"Ow! GODDAMMIT, WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Ichigo shouted, rubbing his head where she'd smacked him.
Peyton stuck out her chin defiantly. "I could too. If there was anyone around here worth doing it for," she snapped.
"Oooooohhh," everyone commented from the sidelines.
Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped, glaring at them meaningfully. "Oh. Right. Moving on, let's go get some candy!" Matsumoto yelled to change the atmosphere.
Ichigo sweatdropped after a few moments, looking at Peyton funny. "...Why the hell do you keep staring at my hands?" he asked suddenly, making Matsumoto start laughing uncontrollably as Peyton turned bright red.
"U-Uh, it's nothing."
"Sooo, Peyton, how big're his hands?"
"SHUT UP, MATSUMOTO!"
It was understandable that virtually every guy they passed had to look at least two more times at the girls.
Rukia in her slinky leather CatWoman suit, complete with spiked-out hair, knee-high stripper-esque boots, and cat ears.
Matsumoto and her slutty nurse uniform, white with red piping that only covered from her collarbone to her upper upper thigh, with plenty of cleavage. Her nurse's cap was set stylishly askew on her head, seemingly falling off her strawberry-blonde locks, yet perfectly in place. Complete with white go-go boots.
And then there was Peyton, with her "Hot Gang-Banger" as Toshiro so fondly called it.
Pin-stripe suit that hugged her body with only three buttons keeping it together, causing a midriff that showed off just what kind of training Hat-and-Clogs was giving her. And, just to tease him and virtually every guy passing by, did she wear an undershirt? Oh, of course not. She wore some lacy bra that was apparently a pretty damn good push-up.
The pin-stripe short shorts rested on her hips and stopped way above her knees. She had fishnet stockings on, too. Of course, it didn't matter that she was wearing orange-and-black Converse. Not like that was what the other guys were checking out.
Her hair was tousled to perfection and running wild all over the place, and she had some kind of eyeliner thing going that made her eyes look bigger than usual.
...And he basically got all those descriptions from Matsumoto's comments, because the only thing that went through his mind concerning all three of them was that they looked hot. But, c'mon, he was a guy. He couldn't quite help it, no matter how much he wanted to.
And believe him, he wanted to. Especially since he knew Peyton caught him every time he tried to sneak another look at her.
ENTRY #...#...6? AH, WHO'S COUNTING THE ENTRIES? IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE:
Needless to say, the girls got extra candy from the houses where the dads were handing out candy.
Which was kinda sick, but I couldn't really blame the poor guys.
Whenever Matsumoto "dropped something", she got six extra. Just throwing that out there.
I think I nearly had a heart attack and spasms when I saw Peyton's costume. Because, I might as well say this: Peyton looked hot.
H-O-T.
HHHHOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT.
Smoking.
Well, anyway. I think you get the point when I say, Peyton looked extremely hot. Which caught me off guard, since I didn't think that was even possible. She's cute, I guess, sure, but hot? That's more Matsumoto's domain, isn't it? And what about Rukia? Where the hell did THAT come from? Cat Woman my ass...she probably just wanted to wear leather and cat ears...
Why can't Halloween be a holiday every day?
BUT, this does NOT mean I like Peyton. Well, I like her, sure, but not like THAT.
Did I think perverted thoughts about her all through Halloween?
Hell yes.
Do I like her like that?
No, I don't think so. I mean, NO.
...No, absolutely not.
Stop questioning me!
Oh great. I'm contradicting an inanimate object about whether or not I like a girl.
This is by far the most pathetic dia-...JOURNAL...I have ever seen in my life.
And I've seen plenty of people's journals!
It took Peyton about an hour to get ready for bed that night, between wiping her makeup off, washing all the product out of her hair, and having to do all sorts of maneuvers to wriggle out of her skin-tight shorts.
And then she got the perfect idea right after flopping onto her bed in her boy's boxer shorts and Batman t-shirt. She immediately picked up her cell phone, but before she could dial the number, her phone rang.
She jumped with a yelp before shaking her head at her stupidity and answering it.
"...Hello?"
"What are you wearing?"
"Rukia, I know it's you. I was just about to call you, by the way."
"Splendid, but it was a serious question. I don't think you want Mr. Kurosaki and his friends to see you in your costume," Rukia said in a hushed tone as there was cheering in the background.
"TOUCHDOWN!"
Peyton sweatdropped. "Call it instinct, but I'm guessing they're watching football?" ...I didn't even know they GOT football on normal Japanese stations...not after Dad had to go through all that bullshit to order some special football package or something...
"I think that's what it's called. But I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me, Ichigo, Matsumoto, Toshiro, and Renji to see Paranormal Activity."
Peyton giggled giddily. "I was calling to ask you that! Meet ya'll there in ten minutes."
"Great!"
"I know!"
CLICK.
NINE MINUTES LATER...
"And she's prompt," Matsumoto was saying as Peyton ran up with her ticket in hand.
"Huh?" she asked, blowing some wet hair out of her eyes impatiently and trying not to laugh at the obvious disappointment written on Ichigo's face at the sight of her pajamas.
Matsumoto blinked innocently. "Oh, I was telling them reasons as to why Keigo would do that."
"Do what?" Peyton asked slowly.
"Serenade you," she said as if it were obvious.
As if on que, they heard someone tuning up their guitar. Everyone but Matsumoto (who was jumping up and down excitedly) slowly turned, question marks dinging over Peyton and Ichigo's heads.
Keigo gave them a wave. "Hi."
"...Hi."
"I made you a song!" He said cheerfully.
Peyton sweatdropped. "Oooookay. Go for it, chief."
Keigo cleared his throat, then started strumming.
"Peeeyttoooonnn,
I was the first person you talked to in Karakuraaa.
Peeeyttoooonnn,
I couldn't wait to get to know yaaaa.
Peeeyttoooonnn,
I still can't wait to say something else to yaaaa!
If only dumb Ichigo would let me once in a whiiiillee."
During his quick guitar solo (which was basically just weird strumming), Peyton gave Ichigo a weird look, to which he just shrugged in a "Like I know what he's talking about", innocent-like way.
Whatever.
"Peeeyttoooonnn,
I've never seen hair so pretty and red,
Peeeyttoooonnn,
Your face (nor your ass) won't leave my head,
Peeeyttoooonnn,
I know I suck at singin',
But Peeeyttoooonnn, your costume this year was BANGIN'!
More of his weird strumming. Peyton's face was turning all sorts of red, and Ichigo looked about to have a spasm if his twitching eye was any indication.
"Peeeyttoooonnn,
I wish I was your best friend,
Instead of that guy right there with the strawberry-lookin' head,
And Peeeyttoooonnn,
I know that you'll probably never speak to me again after this sooooooonnng!
But now you know!
That I want you so.
So if you finally see how stupid Ichigo is,
Feel free to call me up.
Or MYYYYYY
SPAAACCEEEE
MEEEEEE!
And by the way, your new furniture looks great from the tree in your front yard!" he added quickly and somewhat quietly.
He then thumped against his guitar for emphasis.
DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM!
There was a good minute of total silence, both from the group around Keigo and Peyton and the random passersby that had stopped to listen to the song. Rukia looked confused, Toshiro and Renji were shaking their heads in pity, and Matsumoto had a sappy look on her face, totally oblivious.
Ichigo looked weirded out and pretty pissed, and Peyton's "Why Me" expression and sweatdrops were nearly bigger than her actual head.
"...Thanks, Keigo. For that. I'm gonna go watch my movie now. With my friends. Feel free to not follow me. Anywhere. EVER. Also, thank you for helping me solve the mystery of the treehouse in that tree in my front yard." With that, she strolled into the theater, and the stares of the people who had been outside during his "Serenade" followed them.
"Gee, I sure wish I could sing like that," Renji said innocently.
BAM! BAM! SLAP!
"Oh good God, she's gone postal!"
"NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN," she warned everybody. Everyone but Ichigo nodded fearfully.
Great. Everyone's going to know about it by Monday.
Me: Damn. Poor Peyton.
Ichigo: Poor Peyton? Poor Renji! He still has the bruises!
Rukia: I just think Keigo's a dumbass.
Ichigo and Me: (together) Well, we already knew that. (together all excited-like) HEY! (together) WE DID IT AGAIN! (narrow eyes at each other, then shout together again) STOP IT!
Me: (growls)
Ichigo: ...Ummmm...REVIEW! Maybe then she'll spare my life!
Me: (seeing the total promotion opportunity in this) Why, YES! YES I WILL! ONLY if you review.
Ichigo: (gulps) but...but you didn't specify an amount! That's not fair!
Me: (dangerous voice) Who said I was fair? You better start running.