Finally! I know. Trust me, I do feel horrible this has taken so long to get out. But things have been chaotic lately, from needing to put a beloved pet to sleep, to me getting some minor surgery. I do, however, come bearing some compromises [long AN this chapter due to that]. Sound fair?

Many of you have said you always need to go back to the previous chapter and re-read the last part before being able to read the new chapter. So I'm going to start including a "Previously:" thing at the beginning of each chapter, with the last paragraph or two of the last chapter. Hopefully you can jog your memory that way, without needing to go back and re-read.

I'll continue with another important AN at the bottom, so you can finally read the chapter. Please read the one at the bottom, too. More compromises for you.

Beta'd by Feenrai, who is beyond amazing, and has been very helpful and patient with me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of its characters. Just posters...and a blanket.

Previously:

I continued to stare at him, and into his extremely anxious eyes. But suddenly, he froze, his face going blank and his body becoming as still as a statue.

I crinkled my eyebrows together, not understanding what was wrong. Edward's head suddenly whipped to the side, towards the parking lot of the station. I slowly turned my head to follow his gaze, only to see one thing that froze me in terror, and made my breathing become erratic again.

Jacob Black.

Chapter 14

I stood there, unmoving. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even blink. I was frozen.

I heard a low, menacing growl coming from deep within Edward's chest, as he moved to step in front of me, already in a protective stance.

But I managed to get a quick, unwanted and slightly unfocused glance at Jacob, before Edward's broad back blocked my view.

I had memorized his face, after what had happened. It was the same face that haunted my dreams. My nightmares. So it was easy to spot the differences. His lip was split, and slightly swollen, along with a very visible black eye.

I gasped, even through my uneven breathing, surprised at the damage done to his face. But the sight of it only caused my thoughts to swirl even faster, wondering who had caused the damage, and what had happened.

From my peripheral vision, despite my blurry, panicked vision, I could see part of Edward's face as the corner of his lip threatened to twitch into a faint smile, but he held it back. This only confused me further.

"What are you doing here?" Edward growled.

"Questioning, not that it's any of your business, leech," Jacob spat.

I felt like I could see black spots, my vision going in and out of focus. I felt like every single part of my body felt like a live wire, but also felt as though it was weighted down and numb. Like I couldn't move, even if I wanted to.

It was the first time I had heard his voice since that day. It sent a shiver up my spine, causing me to wrap my arms around myself, in a futile attempt to hold myself together. It was the only movement my body could seem to decide to make, probably knowing I would shatter otherwise.

Despite the blurred vision, I could still somewhat make out the tension in Edward's shoulders as he continued to stand protectively in front of me. I heard him mutter something about police stations, mistakes, and bad timing.

"That brute of a brother of yours," Jacob snarled in our direction, obviously speaking to Edward, "you need to tell him to back the hell off."

"Emmett does as he pleases," Edward replied curtly.

"If he were to even try to do that again sometime, I will get the pack involved," he threatened.

But that was as much as I heard, because as soon as Jacob spoke the words 'do that again sometime' -- the same words that have been in the forefront of my mind these past few days, and causing me nightmares -- my body froze completely…including my lungs. I could feel them burning in protest, but I couldn't seem to make them take in air. My vision went black, only to be filled with even more revolting images.

Jacob's lips came down on mine, hard. I held my lips firmly together, unmoving. I heard a deep grunt leave his lips as he roughly shoved his hips into mine, causing his growing hardness to press into me. I squirmed, and writhed, but definitely not in pleasure... No, in distress. In panic. I shuddered in disgust, not wanting to feel his hardness against me.

Suddenly his hands let go of my arms, and they fell limply to my sides: useless, as much as I wanted them to move, to push him away, to fight. I was frozen. Stuck. Especially when his hands reappeared on my body, now fumbling with the button on my jeans, and swiftly yanking them down. I felt the sudden chill on my skin, only for it to feel increasingly overheated as his hands suddenly gripped my ankles, slowly skimming and massaging upwards, up my thighs. I could feel every muscle lock on impact, and I again squirmed, trying to fight, trying to move, trying to do anything. But his hands continued their motion, all the way up to my hips, where I could feel his nails press into my tender flesh, as he gripped my hips hard, before quickly yanking my panties down my legs, leaving me completely exposed. Naked, humiliated and mortified, as his hands made their way up to my bare backside, his palms now gripping it tightly, pulling me flush against him, as his denim clad erection pressed against me, in the place I especially did not want it.

I could feel the scream bubbling up in my throat. I could feel it constricting. I could feel myself being to panic, my lungs seizing, desperately wanting air that my body was not allowing it to have. I felt like every limb was shaking, each individual hair standing on end as my mouth opened and I waited for sound to come out.

It was a jagged, sharp and piercing scream, cut off by my lack of oxygen, as I still couldn't breathe. I could still feel his weight on me. Being held against him. I could feel the heat. The overwhelming heat.

I still felt as though I couldn't move. I couldn't move or fight him off. I could feel the wetness on my cheeks, my tears continuing to help blur my vision.

I could see somewhat, or rather, I could feel a presence in front of me, too close for comfort. He was still on top of me, still holding me to him, unrelenting.

"No!" I shrieked, finding my voice. I wanted to pull back, to move away, to do something, anything, but I couldn't seem to move. My feet felt cemented to the ground, and as if lead had been filtered throughout my entire body, I remained stock still, my body not cooperating.

It was going to happen. He was going to rape me.

"No," I muttered. "Stop, please. No, no, no, no, no," I continued to mutter the words, pleading them, almost, as I gasped them out between jagged, shallow breaths.

I could hear a voice, very faintly in the background. But I didn't want to hear Jacob's voice. I couldn't. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force my mind to block out the sound, to not hear it. To not hear him.

But as I failed to make myself deaf to the sounds around me, I heard a voice that was unexpected.

My angel. My rock. My Edward.

My eyes flew open, needing to find him, to see where he was within the room. To ask him to help me. To save me.

But as my vision tried to come into focus, my eyes saw only darkness. I blinked in surprise, trying to clear my vision. But the darkness did nothing to help my panic, or my breathing.

"Bella," Edward's velvet voice called to me, ever so softly. However, if I'm not mistaken, despite the calming softness that his voice exuded, there was an undertone of alarm, of panic and of unease.

"Edward," I whispered. "Please help -- please save me," I pleaded, as I felt my breathing hitch and continue to struggle for air, and fresh tears fall freely down my face.

"You're safe, Bella. He can't touch you," he murmured, his eyebrows furrowed in what appeared to be confusion.

As I frantically looked around, confused at his words, I finally felt the pressure release from on top of my body--especially my chest.

Jacob was not on top of me. As I snuck a blurry glimpse over Edward's shoulder, I saw Jacob standing in the parking lot, Charlie now beside him, his grip firm on Jacob's arm. I saw Officer Reed approach them and quickly grab Jacob's other arm, and began ushering him inside the police station rather quickly.

As I saw Charlie approach, he appeared cautious and unsure. He peeked at me from my position behind Edward, my breathing still uneven. But I couldn't deny the relief I felt at seeing Jacob go into the building and become enclosed inside it, away from me, and with at least one thick brick wall between us.

"Hey, kiddo," Charlie said quietly as he came to stand beside Edward, his face appearing older with worry as he gazed at me. "You okay?"

I could feel that my throat was raw, both from my screams and my continuously uneven breathing. Unsure if I could find my voice or not, now that the panic was fading, I simply nodded my head, hoping that I truly was okay. Honestly, I wasn't quite sure.

Charlie stared at me for a moment longer, assessing if there was truth to my unspoken words. He seemed skeptical. Then again, so was I.

He leaned over to speak quietly to Edward. "I need to deal with Jacob. He wasn't supposed to be here. Not yet, anyway. I was going to take Bella home, but I also want to make sure that kid's dealt with properly. I have some choice words for him." He nearly growled, before composing himself, though his frustration still marked his tone. "I'm not going to let her be left alone at home. She should have someone with her. Would you be able to take Bella home to your place for a little while? Are your parents home?"

Charlie didn't seem thrilled at the idea he was suggesting, but I was. I wanted, and needed Edward. I wanted to be at the Cullens', where I knew I was safe.

"They're both at home, Chief Swan. My father doesn't work until this evening. I can take Bella home with me--it's not a problem. I'll keep her safe, Sir," Edward promised.

"I'm sorry, Bells," Charlie said, his voice nothing but sincere. "I was going to take you home, but I need to deal with this. I'll see you in a little while, okay, honey?"

I nodded in his direction, and then he proceeded to tell us that an officer would drive us back to my house, so that Edward could drive us to the Cullen's in his car.

After Charlie said goodbye, an officer quickly approached us, and silently drove us home.

A short while later, after switching cars, and Edward driving us to the Cullen's, we both entered the large home and a feeling of safety swept over me.

I was protected by people I considered family. By vampires I considered family. And as much as Charlie's been trying to help make me feel safe, I still knew that Jacob would be able to get to me. But with Edward, with the Cullens, I knew that I was protected: safe. And I've never valued that safety as much as I did now.

"Hello, dear," Esme murmured sweetly, her smile hesitant and unsure of my reaction.

"Hi," I practically whisper, my eyes meeting hers for only the briefest of seconds, before I quickly looked away. I tried to smile for her sake, but my facial muscles didn't seem to want to cooperate.

"I think Bella should rest," Edward interjected softly, his eyes on Esme. She nodded quickly, and gave me another warm smile, just before Edward leaned down and whispered that we should go upstairs.

I silently went up the stairs, Edward trailing behind me. When we reached his room, he shut the door behind him, giving us what appeared to be more privacy.

"Are you okay, love?" he murmured, his perfect, beautiful face twisted into worry. I winced at seeing what I was doing to him. How my issues and my being broken were affecting him. And, obviously, not in a good way. "Bella?" he questioned, at my lack of response.

"I'm okay," I responded finally. He looked at me somewhat skeptically, so I continued in honesty. "I think."

"You must be exhausted," he said softly, as he took in my tense posture as I stood in the middle of his room. "Come lay down," he gently suggested.

I realized he was right. I was tired, so I didn't bother to fight him as I climbed onto his bed, instantly curling up on my side, bringing my knees up to my chest, as I tucked myself into a tight ball.

I felt the mattress shift under his weight, as he climbed onto the bed with me.

I realized as he did, and like the last few days, he kept himself a slight distance away, making sure not to touch me in any way. I realized then that since I saw Jacob at the police station, he hadn't made any attempt to offer me his hand. I began to wonder if it was because he didn't think I would want it, to be touched...or if he didn't want to touch me after he's seen what a mess I've become, on top of being ordinary, and ugly.

I eyed his hand, which was up near the pillow, between our bodies, as he lay facing me. I tentatively reached out, thinking I wanted to try and touch his hand, to hold it -- if he'd let me. To see if I was able to initiate that contact and to maintain that contact.

But as my hand got halfway there, I quickly pulled it back, snapped my eyes shut, and tried to stop my thoughts from surfacing, but with no luck.

I didn't want to risk him pulling away, or Edward rejecting me. I already knew I was a broken, disgusting mess, with no redeeming qualities anymore...but if he were to pull away, surely my already broken heart would shatter, and the gaping hole in my chest would reopen. I also wasn't sure of how my own body would react to the contact, but I had been willing to try. It was the fear of rejection that crippled my attempt.

But Edward had seen my intent, and he slowly brought his hand to mine, trying to grasp my hand in his, as I've been able to manage to the last few days. But again, that panic, that fear of being touched caused me to curl my hand into my chest, effectively stopping his attempt.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered hoarsely, "I thought you wanted -- when you tried..." he trailed off, clearly unsure if his words would upset me, or possibly thinking that he had misread the situation.

"I did," I whispered, as my eyes became excessively moist. I realized how confusing I must be. How confused I must seem. No, not confused -- messed up. Crazy, even.

"It's okay," he murmured, his face showing no sign of irritation when I chanced a glance up at him. He held his hand out in offering to me. I took the risk of my unknown reaction, as I realized that he was still at least willing to touch me. I hadn't repulsed him -- yet.

I placed my hand in his, slowly, and as his fingers slowly curled around mine, I felt every muscle in my body tense, and I stopped breathing for a minute. But I had to let go. It was too much--it was too overwhelming. I could feel Jacob's hands all over me again as soon as my hand made contact with Edward's.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, defeated. I forced myself to exhale, and to breathe in. After a minute, I relaxed as much as I possibly could, until Edward's voice interrupted the silence.

"Perhaps we should have a conversation, similar to one of the past." He pursed his lip, but with no trace of anger - only contemplation. "Exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example'" -- he used his hand to motion to my own, indicating our hand holding, clearing not wanting to risk upsetting me by trying to touch me again -- "usually seems to be all right."

For the first time since the rape, a small genuine smile played across my lips as he practically recited my past words back to me. I realized how fitting my words were; only now, the situation was reversed. Now it's me who has issues with close proximity and with being touched.

"I just...got scared," I confessed. "You didn't do anything wrong, I did. I wanted to hold your hand -- or at least, I hoped I would be able to..." I whispered as I trailed off, feeling entirely too exposed. I didn't want to tell him the other reason I chickened out and dropped my hand when I had attempted to grab his.

His eyebrows were furrowed, lips still slightly pursed in an adorable way, as he stared at me, his eye intense. "Just tell me how to help make things easier for you, Bella," he breathed.

"Just by being here, you're helping me. When you went to grab my hand, I just...all I could feel were…his hands on me. All I kept thinking about was earlier, and that night, as soon as you touched me." I abruptly stopped at the pained look on his face. "Edward," I said severely, wanting him to understand, "you didn't do anything wrong. I know you wouldn't hurt me. It's just...it seems to consume me, to consume my thoughts, as much as I don't want it to. Logically, I know not to fear your touch. In my heart, I know I would never need to be afraid of you. But in my mind, it's just this automatic switch that seems to flip as soon as I'm touched. I'm not afraid of you, Edward."

His face softened, not quite so anxious. "You are my life, Bella. I don't want to do anything that would ever cause you pain," he murmured, his intense eyes still focused on me as a few tears manage to fall from my eyes.

The silence lingered for a few moments, but this time, I was the one to break the silence.

"Can we try something?" I whispered, suddenly feeling very shy. But after today, after seeing Jacob, after seeing those awful images flash before my eyes, seeming so real, so vivid, as if I was actually back there, as Jacob was about to rape me…I shuddered. I just wanted things to be normal. For Edward and I to be able to be how we were before. I wanted him to be able to hold me, to touch me, to kiss me. I used to love even the slightest touch from him, but now...in some small, messed up part of my mind, I seem to fear those touches. But not Edward. Never Edward.

I just need...normalcy. I need Edward. I need his touch, even if the thought makes my body tense up completely.

He appeared slightly wary, clearly unsure where I was going with this, but nodded.

"Can you just..." I trailed off, my shyness kicking into full gear. I could feel my cheeks tinge pink. "Can you try...running your fingers through my hair? Just...stroking my hair?" I whispered, suddenly unsure as my eyes became teary again. "I just need...you. I need you. I need us to be like we were before. I need normal. I just want to feel you, in some way, please..."

"Okay," he agreed cautiously, after a moment or two of contemplation. He slid himself up, into a slightly more upright position, so that he was now leaning back against the headboard. He motioned for me to move a bit closer to him, and I complied.

Once my head was near his thigh, I attempted to make myself as comfortable as possible, despite the rigidity of my muscles--already tensing in anticipation of what was going to happen. I didn't know how I was going to react. I didn't know what his touch would do to me. But, what I did know is that I missed it, despite the fear. And I missed him, and the closeness we were able to share. I used to find our physical contact was too limited before, but now, with how things are, I realized that I would give anything to get that physical closeness back. To get the comfort of his embrace back, and to be able to sleep curled up against him, my head on his chest.

Seconds later, I felt his fingers tentatively skimming through my hair, drawing it away from my face, but being extra cautious not to touch any part of my skin.

My first reaction was to tense. To stop breathing. He immediately noticed and stopped. I gulped in air, and I tried to relax my muscles. He gave me a few minutes, and I tried to relax, to remind myself that it was Edward, and I was safe. And as the minutes passed, I managed to relax, to loosen my muscles, and slow my breathing.

I nodded, and Edward tried again. And that time, despite my still slightly stiff posture...I managed to tolerate the contact. As the minutes passed, I manage to relax my legs some, letting them slide a little ways away from my chest.

"Try to sleep, love," Edward murmured, and then began to hum my lullably.

As his movements continued, still exceptionally careful to avoid contact with my skin, his soothing movement, and the beautiful melody caused my eyes to droop, until I finally succumbed to a restless sleep.

I woke up sometime later, panting for air, unsure of the time, or how long I'd slept. I did, however, remember why I woke up. I had a dream that I had been running through the woods, being chased by a russet colored wolf, and my legs never seemed to manage to carry me fast enough.

My emotions seemed to want to overtake me again, my eyes wanting to prick with tears as the nightmares came back to me in perfect detail. Tears also threatened to fall due to one other important factor: Edward wasn't there.

I began to panic, wondering if I'd finally scared him off. Wondering if he'd left me, because it was just too much -- I was too much.

I was about to give in and let the tears fall, but I became distracted by a noise. I tried to listen more closely.

Voices. Yelling.

And one of the voices belonged to Edward.

Just so there's no confusion at all..when she seen Jacob, she had a flashback, and her flashback and reality were blurring. She wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't.

Next chapter: Who is Edward arguing with? Why are they fighting? And what does Bella overhear?

Okay, the other important compromise: A lot of you have said you'd like if it I was able to give you some form of a timeline for when chapters will be out. The problem is, I can't always go on a timeline. Sometimes I have lots of time, other days I don't. So again, are we willing to compromise? I've created a twitter account, solely for Fix You. For those who have twitter, you can follow it, for those who don't...if you're getting anxious, you can check out the link and maybe find some answers as to when the chapter will be up. I plan to use it to help keep you guys in the loop. I'll let you know when I'm working on it, if it's almost done, or half done, etc. I may also sometimes include little hints at things to come in the next chapter, too. You guys can also use it to ask me any questions you have about the story, or if you're itching to know, you can ask how much of the chapter is done, etc. I do ask, though, that you still continue to review the story here on , so I can find out what you think and get detailed feedback, and see how many people are still interested in the story. So please continued to review on , and I'll do my best to update as soon as possible, okay?

http: // twitter [dot] com / _fix_you_ (remember to eliminate the spaces, and fix the dot, and make sure you get the third underscore in _fix_you_ )

To everyone who reviewed last chapters...you guys floor me with the amount of people who reviewed! So please review, and let me know what you thought of the new chapter, and if it was worth the wait..and of course, to let me know you're still interested!