Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor its original characters (if I did it would probably be called The Brittany and Santana Show, and all the other characters would only be there to help advance their plot).
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, PMs, and constructive open dialogue! I'll never deny my sheer cluelessness when it comes to lesbianism. I can only try my best to grasp it but, ultimately, I write about love; so, I thank all of those who took the time to explain things with patience and lack of rudeness. It has been most educational. Honestly. I think I see your points and issues clearer now (special thanks to you, harb). I never meant to dismiss or demean Santana's lesbianism... but I have said more than enough already ;) Anyhow, to the minority who resorted to rudeness and lack of civility all I can say is: it's a shame it has come to this... The constructive dialogue was going on very nicely. The way you, uh, "harshly" speak makes it sound like I'm some nutjob psycho who goes around preaching that homosexuals are going to burn in hell, or some other nonsensical bullshit like that; when I'm nothing but a big lover of all forms of love and all people roaming around this crazy pale blue dot. Go figure... :P
Anyways, if you don't fancy the story just don't read it. It's fairly simple. Sorry for having offended people... again. It's never been my intention :D To those departing readers: well, thanks for coming this far, I guess; and to those staying: enjoy the new chapter! And do not worry, the story will always go on as planned ;)
**This chapter is dedicated to: Tars, for the lovely chat and for being my favourite Dorothy Boyd ;) Yes, that was an inside joke. How great is that? Having inside jokes with your readers? Also, harb, for shedding some much needed light with politeness and coolness.
Hope you enjoy the latest (and longest up to now) addition. It's sure filled with lots of angst and awkwardness... but also love - awww :D
Mischances, Stances and Stolen Glances
||Chapter Eleven||
"How many centimeters is she?" Jimmy asked in his serious, professional tone as Quinn caught his image on camera, passing Rob and Allie on the way to him.
"Doctor Salinger said ten," Annie replied matter-of-factly.
"You should hurry, then," the tall man said, giving Quinn a little nudge.
"Where are my clothes?" Quinn's voice reverberated as she probably took in Annie's vestment.
"It's already waiting for you there. Let's go, sweetie," was the last thing that could be heard from Annie before the screen turned to black.
…
The image quickly came back on. It looked like Quinn was opening a hospital room's door and Annie was probably beside her because when the person carrying the camera stopped, framing an image of Brittany in bed, the older blonde went straight ahead to her daughter's bedside.
"Q, it's time," Brittany said from the hospital bed as Annie caressed her daughter's hair. The dancer had her legs spread widely and Stella sat on a stool by the bottom of the bed. A female nurse fussed with the monitors on the other side of the bed.
Santana couldn't help but feel a deep ache in her chest when she took in Brittany's appearance. The blonde was visibly thinner, ten pounds at least, the Latina knowingly assessed from how long her neck looked. Her baby bump was quite protuberant and she looked extremely fragile. Santana would like to think that it was because she was wearing that undignified hospital gown, but she knew better than that. Brittany's demeanor and body language told her the real tale. The brunette doctor saw the dark circles beneath her then wife's eyes, which told her how little sleep the woman must have been getting and her eyes… God, the sight of those eyes almost killed Santana. She had to fight the urge to break down in tears. When Santana first woke up from the coma she had noticed that Brittany's blue eyes didn't look the same. They had lost their spark and liveliness. However, the eyes on her television screen were a hundred times worse. They were completely… empty. The saddest blue seas that Santana had ever laid eyes on. Right then she got an idea of what Quinn had meant.
"I know, B," Quinn's voice came filled with emotion as she appeared to be walking closer to the bed and Stella eyed the stats on the monitors by the head of Brittany's bed.
"Okay, Brittany, it's time for you to start pushing. Are you ready?" Stella asked sweetly and calmly from the bottom of the bed as Quinn zoomed on the blonde doctor.
Santana unconsciously took a deep breath.
Quinn captured the scene as Brittany nodded and gulped hard, holding her mom's hand.
The Latina's heart ached as she wished to be the one holding her wife's hand at that moment.
"Alright then, give me one good push, Brittany," Stella said softly, one hand placed on each one of Brittany's knees as the blonde did what she was told. "That's it, keep pushing for me, just like that, Brittany, you're doing great," Stella added enthusiastically.
Quinn started to zoom on Brittany's scrunched up face.
"Ok, you can stop pushing for a while, Brittany. Great job," the blonde doctor said reassuringly as Annie still held Brittany's hand.
After a short breather, Stella said, "Ok, I need a big push now, Brittany. The head is ready to come out. Push for me," and the blonde dancer quickly obliged again, but after a while Stella could see that the woman intended to stop pushing. "Don't stop, Brittany, I need this push," the doctor added softly but commanding.
"I can't," Brittany let out midst the pushing, holding her mom's hand with incredible force.
"You can, Britt," Quinn's voice was heard again as she zoomed a bit out of the blonde's face to focus on the big picture once again while the dancer kept pushing.
Santana felt the uncontrollable desire to jump into that screen to give the blonde some strength, some support, but she couldn't. All she could do was shift even more to the edge of her seat and that's what she did.
"Alright, great, the head is out, Brittany!" Stella announced and Quinn moved quickly to capture that image and then the look on Brittany's face, which was a mixture of exhaustion and relief.
Santana gasped at the first sight of her daughter. The first sight of Zoey.
"You can breathe evenly now. The worst part is over… now you must gather your strength because I'll need one final big push, ok?" Stella said, doing her doctor thing between Brittany's legs as she looked at the monitors to check mother and child's heartbeats. "One more push and we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl," the blonde doctor added with a smile.
She didn't know the sex until the birth? Santana wondered, too caught up with the DVD to give it further thought.
"You're doing wonderfully, baby," Annie said to Brittany before kissing her daughter's sweaty blonde hair that had stuck to her temple.
"Great job," Quinn's supportive voice was heard as well. Brittany smiled at them both.
It pained Santana to realize that it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Alright, Brittany, now it's the time. One final push. One more and we'll meet this special kid," Stella informed in a cheery tone.
"I can't, I can't do this," Brittany mumbled weakly, shaking her head from side to side rapidly.
"Yes, you can honey…" Annie trailed on sweetly, intensifying the hold on her daughter's hand.
"I can't. I can't do this without her," the dancer stated sobbingly, tears pooling on her blue eyes.
Santana's heart cracked. She took a deep breath as she kneeled on the floor in front of the sofa, not knowing what to do. Poppy climbed off the sofa to seat beside her.
"This baby and I… We can't do this without San here," Brittany added dejectedly, tears running down her cheeks.
The brunette's heart finally shattered at the sound of that and only when she felt a drop against her hand was when she realized she was crying as well, which made her touch her cheek as a reflex.
"She is here, baby," Annie sated softly, barely above a whisper. "She'll always be here," she added, touching the left side of Brittany's chest. "You need to be strong and bring yours and Santana's child into this world now," the older woman added, looking into her daughter's eyes as Brittany nodded in between tears.
Brittany gave one final big push and Quinn caught the image of Stella pulling out the baby from Brittany's inside. The loud crying could be heard loudly throughout the room as smiles took over the women's lips and Stella cut the umbilical cord.
"It's a girl!" Stella declared with a wide grin as she held up the bundle-of-joy a bit for the new mother to see before taking the baby with the nurse's help to the stainless steel and plexiglass bassinet.
Quinn turned the camera briefly towards her own face to mouth the words 'a girl' through a wide grin.
Santana couldn't help but widely grin at that as well.
The petite blonde then zoomed on the crying baby girl being cleaned up in the bassinet by the nurse as Stella unobstructed the baby's nostrils and mouth, and quickly performed the Apgar test. The brunette nurse wrapped the little one in a pink blanket and Stella handed the tiny human being to a smiling-through-weeping Brittany.
Santana's tears started to cascade down her own cheeks as she also smiled through crying, but she had stopped attempting to contain the teardrops with her hands. It was a fool's errand.
"She's perfectly healthy. Congratulations, mom!" Stella stated with a smile as Brittany cuddled the baby girl with sheer adoration.
"Congrats, B!" Quinn's voice was heard on the background.
"Sweetie…" was all that Annie managed to utter through tears.
"She's got dark hair," Brittany breathed out, running a gentle finger through the baby's abundant mane. "Just like San…" the blonde added with a voice heavily laced with emotion. "Hasn't you, Zoey?" She finished as tears streamed down her bittersweet, smiling face.
"Zoey?" Annie asked with a smile, sitting down on the hospital bed and wrapping an arm around her daughter's shoulder, who held her own little daughter.
"Zoey Pierce-Lopez," Brittany stated rather proudly, looking down at her baby's blue eyes lovingly as the infant's cries finally stopped.
Santana choked down and swallowed hard, eyes mesmerized by the scene in front of her eyes. Her daughter. Their daughter. Their gorgeous little baby daughter.
"Welcome to the world, goddaughter," Quinn's cracking voice was heard once more.
"You're perfect, Zoey," the dancer began softly, "Your Mama would be so proud. I wish she was here," she added wistfully, having her index finger trapped by a tiny hand, which Quinn promptly zoomed in.
Santana put her hand to her mouth to contain an audible sob.
Brittany grew even more emotional with the gesture and Annie gave a pointed look towards the camera, towards Quinn. "Why don't you call in the others, sweetie?" Annie asked the petite blonde and both knew the real reason behind her request. "Is that ok, doctor?" The older woman added in question, kindly looking at Stella.
"Of course," Stella said with a matching knowing smile.
"I'll go now," Quinn's voice came as the screen turned to darkness.
Santana was an emotional mess. Oh, yes; she definitely knew what Quinn had meant. Suddenly, as she dried her eyes the Latina felt this incredible impulse that could not be tamed. She needed to tell her, she just couldn't keep this to herself for one more second. Next thing she knew she was getting up, entering her car and standing in front of Brittany's door knocking on it even though there was a visible and known doorbell to her right.
"Jenna, did you forget your ke –" Santana heard Brittany's muffled voice before the blonde slung the door open and stopped mid-sentence.
"San!" Brittany exclaimed with surprise, unable to contain a smile. "I thought you were…" the blonde trailed on absentmindedly, but didn't even bother to finish her sentence. "Did you forget something?" She finished, standing by the threshold and briefly looking back at the living room to check for forgotten items.
"I need to talk to you," Santana stated anxiously, not even taking the time to answer the blue-eyed woman's question.
"Sure, come in," Brittany said calmly, finding the Latina's edgy demeanor a bit weird.
"No, it won't take long," the brunette said, shifting her weight from one foot to another.
Brittany eyed her expectantly and after taking a deep breath Santana decided to just spill everything already. Because, even though she felt this misplaced guilt and stress, there was nothing to be guilty or stressed about. She was a single young woman, who had sex with a single young man. She owed Brittany nothing anymore. They weren't married anymore. Right? Right; she answered her own internal question inwardly.
"It happened…" Santana trailed on with a steady voice. "Back in New York… It happened," she added slightly more awkwardly, looking the blonde in the eye.
"What happened?" The dancer asked with confusion, furrowing her brows.
God, she will make this hard on me, won't she? The Latina thought.
"You know, it happened," the brunette doctor replied softly but held those blue eyes with a pair of pointed brown ones.
It looked like she could see Brittany's light bulb turning on frame by frame with millisecond precision. It wasn't a pretty sight watching hurt take over the face of the person you love with such accurate detail. In fact, it was brutal.
"You mean…" Brittany trailed on in a low tone, holding the other woman's stare. And when Santana nodded her confirmation Brittany felt like she had died a little bit. The mere thought of another person touching her wife, her ex-wife, made her physically sick. The blonde's knees felt wobbly and her always-so-strong legs felt weak under her weight, making the dancer lean subtly on the doorframe for immediate support.
"I thought you should hear it from me," Santana offered honestly, avoiding those blue eyes as she shifted her gaze towards her new pair of boots.
They fell in silence for a while as Brittany processed the information and tried to learn again how to properly form sentences through speech. Her heart was racing so much that she feared a heart-attack.
After a while the dancer broke the silence as she said, "Was it…" her voice cracked like a sad saxophone note; so, she cleared her throat and tried again, "Was it with that Kate person?" The name tasted bitter in her mouth.
"No, I told you nothing happened between us. I wouldn't lie to you," the brown-eyed woman replied evenly, resting her gaze again on the blonde's face. "We never lie to each other," she added with more emotion laced in her tone.
"Do I know –" Brittany started to ask but Santana quickly cut her off.
"No, it's no one you know," Santana interjected, trying to spare the dancer of any unnecessary pain. Old habits. Which she feared would never die.
Another terribly awkward silence took place.
"Who is she? What's her name?" Brittany mustered up the guts to ask in a steadier tone of voice. Who knows, maybe I'll need the slut's name if I ever decide to track her down and kill her. Slowly. And painfully. God, what am I thinking? And why does that voice in my head sound so much like coach Sylvester? The dancer scolded herself and mused inwardly.
"His name is Scott. Campbell. He's a doctor I recently met," Santana offered promptly, biting down on her bottom lip.
"A guy?" Brittany asked in surprise, taking a sharp intake of breath. And a 'doctor' at that? The dancer thought bitterly, experiencing lapses as ancient buried feelings of being stupid resurfaced. She felt awful but, come to think of it, it would be much worse if it had been with another woman. Both girls have had their fair amount of boys in the past, but they always had been each other's only girl. Before Jenna, that is.
The situation then started to feel very familiar and reminiscent for both women.
Santana simply nodded and decided to mimic Brittany's statement to her months ago. With a slight adjustment, of course. "You've ruined women for me," she stated jokingly, half-smiling to try to lighten the mood. It didn't quite work. Just like in the past it hadn't worked for her.
They stared at each other once more. Not handling the silence too well Santana broke it, "I thought you deserved to know," she said in earnest.
"Thank you for telling me," Brittany shot back just as genuinely, still leaning against the doorframe. It would have killed her if she had found out from someone else.
"Well, I really should get going," the brunette said, tilting her head briefly towards her parked car.
"Ok," the dancer uttered softly, still too caught up in the haze of that wreckage.
Santana started to turn around but backtracked quickly, stepping towards Brittany and wrapping her into a bone-crushing hug. As fast as the hug started it ended. The Latina took a few steps backwards and the blue-eyed woman stood there in shock: mourning the ever-so-brief contact as her body felt on fire.
"What was that for?" The dancer asked with a puzzled look on her face, eyeing the brown-eyed woman with a searching stare.
"For giving birth to Zoey," Santana stated softly but resolutely, flashing the other mother of her daughter a rare sweet smile.
"You've seen it?" Brittany asked wistfully and kinda bashfully as a blush came to her cheeks while she remembered the emotional mess she was that day. The emotional mess she was every one of those dark days.
Santana nodded her confirmation and stated adoringly, "You were amazing, B… I have no words."
Brittany finally matched the Latina's sweet smile, thinking back to baby girl Zoey. "She saved my life," the blonde said honestly with a heavy meaning.
"I know the feeling," Santana shot back just as honestly and just as heavily.
Both women held each other's stare for the umpteenth time that night as they shared the same sweet smile.
"I should…" The brunette doctor trailed on, starting the walk back to her vehicle.
"Goodnight, San," Brittany said softly from the door, watching the brunette beauty walk away. Away from her, sadly.
"Good…night, Britt," Santana replied adjusting her words, and looking over her shoulder at the blonde beauty behind her.
Brittany got in and immediately went to Zoey's room amidst the heavy turmoil inside her head. The blue-eyed woman couldn't fight the urge to lie down beside her sleeping daughter. Their sleeping daughter... A piece of Santana that she would always have in her life, regardless of anything and everything. That action brought her back to those days. Those days where Zoey was just a baby and she did just the same to feel closer to the lost love of her life. Although, come to think of it, Santana was no longer lost to her… Except that she actually was. The Latina was moving on. For real this time. So, Brittany cuddled into her daughter as a way to try to regain some peace of mind… Exactly like years ago.
Santana was leaving the doctors' bathroom whilst readjusting her white doctor's coat on top of a green scrubs top at the same moment that Maggie was coming down the hall.
"Maggie…" Santana smilingly acknowledged the nurse who came in her direction from a bit afar as the doctor slung the stethoscope around her neck.
"Hey, San," Maggie shot back with a smile as she reached the brunette and they started walking down the halls together. "Weren't you wearing a blue blouse last time I saw you minutes ago?" She added with suspicion, eying the green scrubs top. And then, taking in the previous sight of Santana readjusting her coat, thus adding one and one together and coming up with three, Maggie finished with a devious grin, "You weren't schtooping anyone in there, were you?"
"Jeez, Maggie… No!" The brown-eyed woman replied indignantly, furrowing her brows while looking sideways at her friend. "I don't poop where I eat, thank you very much."
"Alright…" the nurse in pink scrubs trailed on through laughter, putting her arms up as a surrendering sign. "Just checking…"
"Who says 'schtooping' nowadays, anyway?"
Maggie simply smiled and pointed at herself.
A really young resident in scrubs was coming their way and when he spotted Santana he flashed both women the most awkward/scared smile to ever grace the Earth, and brusquely power-walked around the corner to another hallway.
"Wow, you're working here for, like… little over two months and all the residents and interns already fear you to death," the curly-haired nurse mused as they walked side by side.
"Yes, it's both an art and a gift," Santana replied with a mock serious tone. "I'm afraid it can't be taught, though."
"Bummer," Maggie stated with mock desolation in return.
"Anyways, a baby just decided it would be awesome to throw up on my blouse as I examined him. Hence the change," Santana said with sarcasm after a beat, wearing a disgusted look on her face as both women reached the nurses' station.
"Well, I should be so lucky. I just came back from draining a nasty abscess, which Doctor Weber kindly dumped on my lap," Maggie replied matter-of-factly, entering the nurses' station as another nurse handed Santana a patient's chart.
"That geezer is so lazy. If I had a nickel every time a nurse complained about him I'd be Oprah by now," the brown-eyed woman quipped, skimming through the chart in her hand.
Maggie sat at the computer and began to type in information. "You're off now, right?" She asked, glancing back at her friend from over her shoulder.
"Yes, thank God. This shift felt extra longer. Just have to sign up on this and I'm free," Santana said with relief, signing at the bottom of the last page. "You?"
"Still have a few more hours to go," the nurse replied in low spirits, clicking on something with the mouse.
"My sentiments," Santana joked lightheartedly, handing the other nurse the signed chart. "I have to drive all the way to Dayton to pick up Jimmy from the airport. So, your misery should know that it has mine for company." She said that, but she was feeling quite excited to have her friend in town.
"Jimmy is that New York friend of yours, right? The cute one who came to visit you several times?" Maggie asked and Santana nodded. "Is he coming for Zoey's birthday?" The woman in pink scrubs asked, making conversation whilst rolling around in her chair to face Santana.
"Yes, Jimmy's coming a bit early so we can hang out and stuff. He actually found a strip club here through the internet that he wants us to go tonight," Santana said with amusement in her voice but she rolled her eyes for good measure. "That guy is nothing but resourceful, I'll tell you."
"Ah, I know that place," Maggie said casually.
"Do tell," Santana replied quickly with a smirk as she entered the nurses' station to come closer to her friend.
"Not much to tell… I went with Danny once a couple years ago. He asked as a wedding anniversary gift. Something about spicing up our sex life," the nurse stated with a light snort. "Three kids already and the man wants us to spice up our sex life. I swear if it were up to him we'd have a football team!"
Santana laughed and asked, "By the way, you're going to Zoey's party, right?" Maggie nodded as the brunette doctor leaned on the nurses' station next to the computer the nurse was using. "Good, I need all the buffers possible. I can already sense all the awkwardness between me and Four-Eyes," Santana added in a bit of a huff. She could already predict that things would be tense. Her interactions with the new wife were getting more awkward and strained by the day.
"Should the boys and I wear our 'Team Lopez' t-shirts?" Maggie joked with a playful smile as she typed with velocity and looked up a bit to see Santana's dismissive, faux wide-smile.
"Can't you just leave triple-trouble back at home? Like, I don't know, locked up in the basement or something?" The brown-eyed woman asked in the same joking fashion, smiling down at Maggie.
"Yeah, I tried that one already. They blew up a wall and dug their way out through the backyard. Sorry…" the nurse replied mockingly through an easy smile, which the doctor matched. "Brittany's house… Saturday at two, right?" She finished, changing the subject.
"That's it."
"Ok."
"Ok, I gotta head to the airport now, Maggs. Talk to you later," Santana said, leaving from behind the nurses' station.
"Yeah, drive safe," Maggie replied promptly, looking up from the screen to see the brunette nodding while walking away.
The next day, Friday, Santana entered Brittany's dance studio with Jimmy in tow right after noon. Both wore their shades. There was no one at the small reception area and Santana figured Brittany must have been teaching; so, she and Jimmy went to the back, passed by the double doors that led to the dancing room and arrived at this wide glass window. It looked like an interrogation room's mirror but everybody outside could see everybody inside, and vice-versa. Brittany was indeed warming up her pupils as she stood in front of a mirrored wall in front of the class. The students had their back to the visitors but the blonde spotted them right away. She waved and they waved back. The dancer seemed to be saying something to her class and came jogging towards the door right after.
"Hey, guys!" Brittany said immediately after coming through the swinging double doors in dancing clothes. "Jimmy, so good to see you!" She added with enthusiasm, going to the man for a hug. "How are you?"
"Not so loud, Brittany…" Santana chastised with a hoarse voice, bringing one hand to her head.
"Yeah, Britt, that was excruciatingly loud," Jimmy said in the middle of the hug whilst scrunching his face. "But I'm very happy to see you, too," he added softly, looking at the blonde's face after she pulled back. "I'm more than fine, thanks for asking. You?"
"I'm good, but –" The dancer began saying but before she could ask why they were acting all weird and wearing sunglasses inside, Santana interjected.
"What was the 911 about, Britt?" The brunette woman asked in a huff.
"Oh, yeah, I need you to stop calling Mary from the bakery. You're starting to frighten her," Brittany answered flatly, shifting her gaze from Jimmy to Santana.
"That's it? That was the big emergency?" Santana asked incredulously, placing one hand on her hip. The blonde just nodded. "When you send out a text that reads '911 dance studio' you should be bleeding in the dance studio or the dance studio should be coming down in flames… or you should be bleeding inside the dance studio that is coming down in flames. You do not send out a text like that to tell me that some whiny baker can't handle a couple of calls," she reproached rapidly.
"Well, I've never been good at math but five calls a day is more than a couple of calls," Brittany shot back with amusement. "She knows my mom, so she called me to complain about your 'crazy' ways and demands. I'm serious, Santana, the old lady is scared of you; that's why I had to tell you this face to face," the blue-eyed woman added, trying hard to sound serious but unable to hide a tiny smile.
"Scaring old people now, huh, San? Way to go," Jimmy playfully mocked his friend through a grin, receiving a scowl from the brunette.
"Shut it, James!" Santana briskly said, looking sideways at the tall man. And then she shifted her gaze back to Brittany and added with less petulance, "The old broad is overreacting. The cake is the only thing I'm in charge of. I want it to be perfect, that's all."
"I know that, S," the blue-eyed woman replied softly, looking at the brunette with adoration. "Just try to tone it down a notch, ok? For my sanity. She's called me three times already."
"Fine," the brown-eyed woman conceded after a beat. "I'll try," she added quickly, touching the back of her neck. That was when Brittany saw some writing on the inside of the brunette's tanned forearm.
"What's that?" The dancer asked with curiosity, pointing at the writing in question with furrowed eyebrows.
"Uh, nothing," Santana awkwardly replied, putting her arm down as a reflex, which read 'Riley' in black and had a phone number below.
"Come on, tell her stud," Jimmy wickedly piped in, looking from Santana to Brittany and back.
"Like I said, it's nothing. Just some girl's number from last night, I guess. She wrote it with a pencil eyeliner, I couldn't wash it off. I've got to buy a makeup remover," the brown-eyed woman stated aloofly and dismissively.
"A girl?" Brittany asked rhetorically, eyes growing wider as she tried to hold the other woman's stare.
"A hot girl," Jimmy interjected with enthusiasm, curiously eying the women through his black wayfarer. Maybe his best friend's ex needed a little nudge to realize what she was missing. Call him a hopeless romantic, but Jimmy couldn't help but think this whole situation was sort of ludicrous. These two women were perfect together. Perfect for each other. He could only dream of finding a woman who would make him as happy as they were. And there they were: squandering everything.
"I wouldn't know. We were both extremely wasted," Santana countered nonchalantly, eying her friend to assess what was his deal bringing this stuff up. "And now we have a nasty hangover."
"Well, I imagine you would know from minutes ago," the hazel-eyed man shot back with a grin, and that time he did receive a glare from Santana and a surprised look from Brittany.
"She, uh, she was just returning my license that I forgot at the club," the brunette explained despite herself. "Apparently I made a big deal about showing it to the bartender to prove I wasn't underage," Santana added, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at her own drunken antics.
"You two went out to a club last night?" Brittany asked with untamed curiosity. "In Lima?" She added with a doubtful voice.
"It wasn't a big deal, just a little outing to drink and unwind," Santana said, starting to feel a bit awkward. This was still all very new to her, but she was definitely getting better.
"It seemed like a big deal when you drunkenly burst into song in the middle of your lap dance with Riley, that's her name by the way. You know, when you were still in the buzzed phase. Before you turned all weepy, like you always do," Jimmy joked and it took a while for Brittany to get the picture.
"I did not sing," Santana countered, crossing her arms across her chest defensively.
"Did too."
"I did no such thing."
"You went to a strip club? This Riley girl is a stripper?" Brittany asked rapidly, interrupting the two friends' childish quarrel.
"Uh huh," Jimmy hummed his confirmation, looking briefly from Santana to Brittany and back. And then he added smugly, resuming the argument, "It's that song. The one with a girl's name as the title... Bloody hell, I forgot the name! Because, you know; Santana 'The Charmer' Lopez here substituted the actual name for 'Riley'. What is it called?" The man tried hard to remember the lyrics to one-up the brunette as he hummed the tune and Brittany watched attentively.
"It's from that English band. My homeboys…" Jimmy pressed on with a smile and began singing, "I miss her ginger hair – because Riley is a ginger and all – Something, something… Stop making me a fool…"
"Valerie?" Brittany cried out in recognition whilst staring at Jimmy, placing her hands on her hips and looking pointedly to Santana. "That was Santana's jam back in the day," she added sort of dejectedly.
"That's the one!" The tall man stated, pointing at the blonde with a toothy grin. "Why won't you come on over, Riiiiiley? Riley!" He sang through laughter, teasing and taunting Santana. "That's right, you two were in that geek club back in high school."
"Glee club," Brittany corrected offhandedly.
"Tomato. Tomato," Jimmy deadpanned dismissively, speaking both words differently.
"Oh, God…" Santana trailed on, face-palming whilst shaking her head. "I did sing that, didn't I? It's all coming back to me now," the brown-eyed woman added with resignation, remembering things slowly.
"I told you!" Jimmy gloated with no reservations.
"You're not considering dating this stripper, are you, Santana?" Brittany asked with a scorned, judgmental tone, not able to hold back.
The tone didn't sit well with the brunette. "First of all, she's not a stripper. She's an exotic dancer. Second, from what I vaguely remember she only does that to pay for nursing school," seeing the two pairs of inquisitive eyes on her she added in a huff, "What? I wasn't drunk all night, ok? I listened. And third, you," she looked at Brittany, "have no say on who I should or shouldn't date. So, yeah, maybe I should give her a call," Santana head-strongly finished with a raise of head for effect.
"You deserve better, San," Brittany replied with a petulant tone of her own, hands still on her hips.
"You don't even know her. Besides, you're a dancer, too; you shouldn't be so hard on her."
"Excuse me? I don't take my clothes off for money."
"Well, I've seen you dancing in very little and you got paid to do it. So…"
"Santana! Men don't touch me while I dance," Brittany admonished through narrowed eyes. "Are you calling me a stripper?"
"You can't touch the strippers either, Britt. Huge bouncers… Trust me, I tried once," Jimmy piped in to try to diffuse the tension a bit, but oblivious to the fact that he was putting more wood into the fire.
"I'm not calling you a stripper," Santana conceded with a tired sigh, looking down to the floor and back to the blonde. "All I'm saying is don't judge," she added softly.
Brittany held Santana's gaze and sighed as well. She was indeed being ridiculous and letting the green jealousy monster take over her. So, she nodded and backed up a bit, opening the double doors to the classroom to call out, "Sorry, guys. Five more minutes… Carry on with the warm-up, ok?" The dancer closed the door again and went back to the two friends.
In dire need of a subject change Brittany asked meekly, "So, have you checked with Q and Rach? When are they arriving?"
"Jimmy and I were on Skype with Quinn just minutes ago. They are arriving late this afternoon. We're picking them up at the airport," Santana informed casually.
"Oh, can't I pick them up? They are already staying with you. I miss them so much," Brittany said through a trademark pout.
"Be my guest," the brunette replied dismissively, still feeling the effects of the pout, unfortunately, and Jimmy uttered a woo-hoo to the prospect of not having to drive all that way. "But what about Zoey?"
"I was going to ask you if you could pick her up at school today anyway. I'm pretty swamped here today. So, this would only be an extension of sorts."
"Yeah, I can get her."
"Can't wait to finally see my goddaughter again!"
"So, are we set?" Brittany asked the brunette.
"Yes, I'll text you their flight information," Santana quickly replied.
"And I'll pick Zoey up when I drop Quinn and Rach at your place. Alright, I should get back to my class. Great seeing you, Jimmy!" The dancer said with a smile. "And thanks for coming when I asked, San," she added sweetly with a broader smile, locking blue eyes on brown ones. And feeling a weird drop in her chest as she remembered the whole Riley business. She already didn't like the girl and she hadn't even met her. This wasn't like her.
"Always," Santana shot back in earnest, half-smiling. Despite her reservations, it was the truth. If the blonde needed her, she would be there for her. Regardless of her being moving on or not.
Brittany might as well have melted right there at the reception area.
They said their goodbyes and went their ways.
Brittany missed a couple of steps during that day of teaching dance. Brittany never missed one single step.
That Saturday afternoon Santana arrived at Brittany's house with a big, pink cake box in hand. They – Santana, Jimmy, Quinn and Rachel – had arrived a bit earlier to help out with preparation and stuff if needed be. Entering the blonde's house, which had its front door opened, she quickly spotted Zoey in the kitchen.
"Hello there, birthday girl," Santana greeted her daughter with a wide smile, placing the cake box on the kitchen island.
"Hi, Mama!" Zoey replied, matching the brunette's smile. "What's that?" The kid added curiously, eying the box on top of the island.
"It's your cake," the brown-eyed woman stated offhandedly, and then she added with a broader smile on her face whilst picking up the little girl, "Come here… Happy birthday, baby!" She then kissed the girl's cheek.
"Four years, huh? You're getting so big…"
"Very big."
"Promise me not to grow too fast?" Santana asked half-playfully, entirely-honestly while looking deeply into blue eyes.
"Ok." Zoey replied offhandedly since she had no idea what she could do to mess that up.
"Where's Mommy?"
"In the backyard with Grandma and Grandpa," the blue-eyed girl informed absentmindedly. "Where are Uncle Jimmy, and Aunt Q and Aunt Rach?"
"They are helping me unload the cupcakes…" Santana said, putting the kid down, and then she hunched over to look the girl in the eye and added ceremoniously with a cheeky grin, "…and our presents for you."
Zoey beamed and Jenna came entering the kitchen through the hallway.
"Santana…" Jenna trailed on in ackknowledgment through a half-smile.
"Gemma…" Santana trailed on in the same fashion and shifted her gaze from the annoyed petite blonde to her little girl when she started to giggle.
"It's not 'Gemma', silly. It's 'Jenna'," Zoey stated through giggles, looking up at her Mama and feeling quite proud of being this smart.
"Right," the brunette woman dragged out the word with a smile whilst shaking her head, looking down at her daughter. "Silly me, huh?" She added theatrically whilst tickling Zoey, stealing a glance at Jenna who was already heading towards the door in the kitchen that led to the backyard.
"Let's see what's taking those three Bozos so long, shall we?" Santana said jokingly as she took Zoey's small hand in hers.
The party was going on at full swing. Everything was very nice and simple. No big crowd and no huge fuss, like Brittany always liked. Mr. Pierce was in charge of grilling the burgers and hot-dogs, the kids were running around the small backyard playing, and the adults were scattered here and there engaged in easy conversation whilst drinking and eating. Santana and Maggie chatted animatedly with Rob and Annie Pierce by the grill; Rachel, Danes, Danny, Jimmy and Ally talked calmly by the kids' table; Jenna and her friend Paula from Wal-Mart sat at one of the adults' tables whilst eating some burgers; Lisa and Tracy – Gracie's mother – chatted at another table; Richard, Diane and Rosa did the same at a third table; and Quinn and Brittany talked near Rachel and the others.
After some talking Quinn noticed that Brittany was, every once in a while, shooting these weird looks at Santana; who, as per usual, had the camera around her neck and shot photos galore of their daughter from afar. "Ok, what's up with you and Santana?" The shorter blonde asked with exasperation after just witnessing another look.
"What?" The taller blonde replied with confusion, looking at Quinn's face directly. "Nothing's up," she added quickly, taking a sip of wine from her red plastic cup.
"You're a terrible liar. You know that?" Quinn asked with a raised eyebrow.
After a few seconds the blue-eyed woman conceded. It wasn't like she wasn't dying to talk about this and get it off of her mind. "Santana met someone. A girl. A hot girl, apparently. Who asked her out or something like that," the dancer blurted out with velocity and a tinge of agony.
"Ah, I see you know of Riley," the hazel-eyed woman stated with a ceremonious tone, taking a sip of her wine from the blue plastic cup in her hand.
"Wait, you know of Riley?" Brittany asked with shock, placing a hand on the petite blonde's forearm as a reflex. "Did Santana mention her to you?" She added with morbid curiosity.
"Actually, I've met her," Quinn answered with a well-constructed casual tone. "Sort of."
"What?" The blue-eyed woman spat out in disbelief. Her heart began racing at the prospects and scenarios that began playing in her mind. They weren't pretty. "How? When? Is she pretty?" She added rapidly, having a hard time to conceal how much she cared. God, why can't I be one of those people that can act all blasé at the drop of a pin? Like Santana, for instance; the blonde thought bitterly.
"Calm down, Britt. You'll have a heart-attack like that," Quinn softly said. It was hard seeing her friends at that state. They clearly still loved each other and yet… they were apart. She was no hopeless romantic, but deep down the hazel-eyed woman still believed they would find their way back to each other. Eventually.
"So…"
"I was on Skype with Santana and Jimmy yesterday morning, we were talking and suddenly we heard the bell ringing. Santana told him to get it and after a few seconds he comes back with this woman by his side. He said it was Riley from last night and apparently she had Santana's driver's license. After that Santana said a quick goodbye and disconnected."
"And, is she pretty?"
Quinn laughed at Brittany's antics. The poor thing did wear her heart on her sleeve. "I didn't meet her in person, you know, it was only for a few moments through a webcam," Quinn said but seeing her friend's relentless look she added, "Well, she's taller than you, redhead, in-shape, green eyes, I think… long hair, and that's about it."
"Sounds hot," Brittany said nervously, stealing another glance at a laughing Santana who talked to the dancer's folks. "She looks like whom? Which actress?" She added, trying her best to picture this other woman. She did better with visual aide.
"I don't know, Britt…"
"Think."
Quinn did just that, she hated seeing the tall blonde in distress. After a beat she stated, "She kinda looks like that actress… God, what's her name? There's a big poster of her and some dude on this bus stop near our place," Quinn tried to dig out but it was futile. So, she called out in a low tone to Rachel, who stood near the two women, "Honey, what's the name of that actress, you know, that one on the bus stop poster that we pass by every day?"
"The redhead?" Rachel asked subtly and it got Jimmy's attention as the blonde nodded. They were definitely talking about Riley. It brought a small smile to his lips. Maybe they were onto the right road. "Karen Gillan, I reckon," she added and Quinn thanked her before they got back to their own talks.
"I don't know who that is," Brittany whined through furrowed brows. This did nothing to her. "What movie was she in?" She added, desperately grasping at straws.
Before Quinn could reply Rob Pierce asked Brittany to bring in some more burger patties because the kids were devouring them.
"Walk with me," Brittany sort of ordered and Quinn did what she was told. The tall woman looked kind of unhinged. "So?" She added as they approached the door to the kitchen.
"What?" Quinn asked a bit lost in their conversation.
"The movie?" Brittany helped her with a bit of exasperation as they entered the kitchen. She was starting to sound like a mad woman. She clearly underestimated the strength of her feelings when it came to this topic. Thank God she was talking to Quinn and not Santana. Or worst, Jenna. Right then she knew that she needed to learn how to control these emotions, and she needed to learn fast. Both women threw their empty cups on the kitchen's trashcan.
Quinn thought as Brittany opened up her freezer to grab the asked items. "Actually, I haven't seen anything with her in it," the hazel-eyed woman declared, leaning against the kitchen island.
Brittany shot her a pointed look from over her shoulder as she took the tray of burger patties from the freezer. The blue-eyed woman sighed, closed the freezer's door and placed the tray on top of the island as she thought hard. She had that scrunched up look on her face that always appeared when she was thinking with all her might.
"Britt?" Quinn asked tentatively, seeing her friend's face turn from scrunched up to smug.
"I have an idea. Do that thing…" Brittany said gladly, pointing to a laptop on top of the kitchen table, "…like when you were at the hospital visiting Santana and you showed her a bunch of pictures of canes, you know, to help her find a cool one. Just put the actress' name instead."
"You mean Google-Image her?" Quinn asked after a beat, unable to keep a smile off of her face.
"Yeah, that's it… I think… Just do your thing," the dancer said with a pleased grin on her face while ushering Quinn to the laptop and forcing her to sit down.
"You are something else, B," the petite blonde stated with amusement as she opened up the browser. "Here we go," she added, typing with ease and pressing enter as the screen got filled with pictures.
"Oh," was all that came from Brittany's mouth as her eyes widened.
"This girl is definitely younger..." Quinn assessed the pictures in front of them while scrolling down, "Riley's eyes are green and her face is less round than this girl's, but the hair, height and figure are very similar. Especially the hair. Identical, really. I think maybe she's a bit shorter than this girl though, I didn't have much time to look," she added, looking up to gauge her silent friend's reaction.
"Very pretty," Brittany muttered flatly more to herself than to her friend.
"Come on, Britt… Don't be like that. We don't even know if Santana will call her and, besides, you knew this would happen eventually," Quinn said softly and honestly, turning on her seat to run a comforting hand up and down the taller blonde's arm.
"I know," the blue-eyed woman replied quickly. And then she put on a happy face, she needed to adjust to this. It was imperative. And Quinn was right, maybe Santana wouldn't even call her. Yeah, she should hang on to that thought. Santana wouldn't call Riley. Little did she know that the brunette had already done it.
"I know," Brittany repeated with more enthusiasm and a smile, but Quinn wasn't really sure if she bought it. However, before she had a chance to delve Santana entered the kitchen.
"Are you two killing the cows to get the meat or what? Your dad…" Santana started to ask in a huff but taking in the looks on her friend and ex's faces she stopped talking and amended after a second, "Ok, what are you two up to?" And she raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow as Quinn shut the laptop brusquely.
"Nothing," Brittany answered a bit too eagerly.
"Yeah, nothing," Quinn backed her up also a bit too eagerly.
"Yes, and I was born yesterday," Santana said with sarcasm, approaching the kitchen table where the two blondes were.
"Whatever it is it isn't of your concern, Santana," the hazel-eyed woman playfully snubbed the brunette with a smile, and then she added, "So, just get going, because so are we. Right, B?"
"Right," the dancer confirmed anxiously, looking from Quinn to Santana and back and blinking way too much.
"Then bring out the patties, sneaky little liars," Santana replied, shaking her head for emphasis.
Brittany went on to get the tray of burger patties and proceeded to leave the kitchen towards the backyard. As Quinn followed her and passed by Santana the brunette whispered, "We'll have a little chat later."
"You wish," the hazel-eyed woman stated confidently with a smirk as she and Santana followed the dancer outside. "Where's the camera? Done playing frantic paparazzi mom?" She added teasingly.
"I passed it over to Jimmy so I could come and get you two. Can't miss any of the action, you know?"
"You officially lost it, Lopez."
"Shut up, Fabray." Both women grinned widely at each other.
"We should sing happy birthday and cut the cake. Parents should be picking up their kids soon. I don't want to rush it," Brittany stated as most of the adult guests were gathered around her doing some mingling.
Several people nodded and after a beat Maggie called out, "Connor, stop hitting Calvin. Christian, untangle your brothers," and then directing her gaze to the adults she added, "I better go there. I'll take the opportunity and tell the kids to gather around the birthday cake table, Brittany."
The blonde dancer smiled and Santana said, "Thanks, Maggs."
There was an awkward moment when everybody was gathered around the table. Santana didn't know if she was supposed to stand next to Brittany and Zoey, and Jenna shared her exact sentiment. Both women were caught staring around themselves and that was when Ally Pierce sort of shouted playfully at Santana, "Won't you stand beside your daughter, Mama? The clock is ticking, you know?"
"Yeah, Mama, come on…" Zoey said with a smile and a chocolate covered mouth. The kids had attacked the cupcakes with unforeseen velocity and tenacity.
The teenager and Santana shared a wide grin as the brunette walked around the table to go to her daughter, stopping on her way to there to hand Jimmy the camera yet again.
Everybody was smiling and suddenly Jenna felt like the ultimate stranger at her own house. Yeah, the winds were definitely changing.
Sensing her friend's distress Paula, a chubby mid-thirties short brunette with long hair and hazel eyes, said softly, "It's not what you're thinking, you know? It's their kid, it's only natural. But you're Brittany's wife. You know that and she knows that. Don't go getting any crazy ideas." And then she shot a tight-lipped smiled to Jenna who stood by her and matched said smile.
"I'm afraid there's more to it than we both would like to think," Jenna stated wistfully. She knew her friend had a point. Brittany really made it clear to her since the beginning of their relationship that she wasn't Zoey's other mother. She and the kid shared a bond, but Brittany always kept her at arm's length when the girl was concerned. However, when the dancer was concerned, she really did let Jenna in.
"Don't you trust her?"
"With my life."
"Then there's your answer."
As on cue, after Jimmy had snapped a few photos, Brittany called out, "Jenna, come stand beside me." The blue-eyed woman did not dare to steal a glance at Santana that time. She feared she would find something unpleasant there. And it was probably the right decision because at that instant a cloud passed ever-so-briefly through Santana's eyes. But she did a fine job disguising it. No one had the expertise to notice it… apart from Brittany, that is. And at that same instant the brunette realized she had made the right move calling Riley. She desperately needed to move on with her life. No matter how hard it would be.
They sang happy birthday, Zoey gushed over the rabbit-shaped cake – which was initially meant to be a duck but Mary swore on her grandkids' lives, per Santana's request, that she did not know how nor could make a duck-shaped cake – and everybody ate the delicious treat. After a while some parents started to show up to pick up their kids.
Santana had to move her car so Lisa could get out with hers, since some jerk decided to box the latter. Lisa, who was accompanied by her son Jeremy, was giving Tracy and her daughter Grace a ride; so, Zoey went along with Santana for the car removal to have a few more minutes with her two best friends.
They headed back; Santana held Zoey against her hip as they entered the backyard and the brunette woman made her way towards Quinn and Rachel, putting her daughter down along the way per her request. The party was dying down.
"Where's Jimmy?" Santana asked absentmindedly, looking around but not spotting the English man. She could spot Zoey joining Brittany, Jenna and her friend, Paula on the other side of the backyard, though. Seeing her kid laugh with the other woman made her feel all kinds of bad and jealous inside, but she pushed those feelings down.
"Oh, he's putting some music inside. Britt's orders. Everyone was tired of children's tunes already," Quinn informed her flatly.
"I suggested Barbra but Brittany doesn't seem to have it, which by itself it's a crime," Rachel piped in with disbelief in her tone of voice as Quinn and Santana shared a mocking look. "We should give her a collection on her birthday, honey," she added with sheer joy and Quinn merely nodded to appease her wife. The couple was doing much better since Rachel started to manage her working hours better, and even came to Ohio with Quinn for Zoey's birthday despite the fact that her play was up and running back in NYC.
A song started to reverberate through the late afternoon air as Jimmy came through the kitchen door into the backyard. Santana recognized the first notes instantly. How could she not? She had been listening to that song obsessively for the last few months. It especially gave her energy to power through the many miles of her daily morning runs.
"Where did you get that song?" Santana asked Jimmy with wide eyes, trying to conceal her panic as the tall man approached the three women.
"Oh, yeah, Brittany said her iPod was back at the studio and that Jenna's was pretty much a desert island; so, I told her I would grab yours in your purse. I know you carry that thing with you everywhere you go," Jimmy answered casually as the first few lines started to be heard.
No wonder I'm scared to look in your eyes,
You've turned me away so many times,
You can take it away at any given moment,
It's hard to believe while you're in this disguise…
Damn, Santana thought. Of all the songs in her iPod it had to start with that one. Well, come to think of it, it wasn't that bad considering her playlist was heavily – ok, wholly – composed of songs that reminded her of a certain blonde dancer and their current situation. Truth be told, music always had helped her cope in the past. It was why she was so into it. And it was also certainly helping her now. So, she took a deep breath and decided it could be worst. It could have played that Margot & The Nuclear So and So's one, or that Okkervil River one… God, it could have played that Elliott Smith one! She should be thankful, at least this wasn't as bitter as most of the alternatives… just kind of pathetic and sad. Yeah, total score! Now she only had to find an excuse to shut the dock station after this song and before more embarrassing jams could be played. Brittany caught up with the song lyrics and immediately looked over at Santana.
So would you hold me please?
I'm trying hard to breathe,
I'm just surviving,
So would you hold me please?
I'm trying hard to breathe,
Stop me from crying,
When I see you walking with her,
I have to cover my eyes (I have to cover my eyes),
Every time you leave with her,
Something inside me dies (Something inside of me dies)…
Blue eyes locked on chocolate ones ever-so-briefly but the intensity of it all brought so many feelings to surface that it was hard for them to know where they stood and what their names were. The dancer knew this was Santana's iPod and the song in itself was mighty revealing. The words made her chest hurt and Jenna – albeit not knowing the owner nor the underlying greater meaning behind the song; frankly, she wasn't even really listening because she was preoccupied with watching her wife – couldn't not see the stolen glances here and there.
"See what I mean?" The green-eyed blonde rhetorically asked her friend in whisper tone and Paula, who was just as oblivious to the whole meaning of the situation but heard the words of the song and wasn't stupid nor too wrapped up in her own feelings to put two and two together, simply watched the interaction with a disguised concerned look. Jenna did not know how many more of these signs she could ignore before really confronting her wife. Her fear of doing so was beyond belief, but one day it would be inevitable; and that was what scared her the most, she guessed. She was an incredibly patient person, but even for her this was becoming a tall order.
No wonder it hurts to sit by your side,
(Turned me away so many times),
There's a different song I can play you tonight,
(We don't have to sit here in silence),
We can break the pattern, we can change the colour,
(It's just a little sacrifice),
You don't need to worry about the others,
(It's all in your mind),
Santana, yet again, felt like digging a whole and crawling into it. Everyone – at least in her mind it was everyone – seemed to be aware of what was transpiring and it was awkward as hell. Thank God Zoey was still too young to pick up on the tense atmosphere and associate it with a song that was nothing more that beat to her ears. Conversely, each line felt like a stab into Brittany's and Santana's hearts. The blonde felt like running towards the brunette and hugging her, kissing her, comforting her… What wouldn't she give to be able to overcome her own personality and character in order to do just so. It was excruciating!
So would you hold me please?
I'm trying hard to breathe,
I'm just surviving,
So would you hold me please?
I'm trying hard to breathe,
Stop me from crying,
When I see you walking with her,
I have to cover my eyes (I have to cover my eyes),
Every time you leave with her,
Something inside me dies (Something inside of me dies)…
"Wow! Subtle song, huh, San?" Jimmy teased her with a smile. The three friends knew quite well the whole meaning behind it. It was better to point out the fact, the elephant in the room, than to stand around feeling awkward.
"Yeah, now I see why you were so pale and freaking out when you first heard it," Rachel joined in on the mocking, smiling brightly as Quinn did the same.
"Great! Awesome friends the three of you are," Santana quipped, severing eye contact entirely with Brittany while she felt a blush creep up to her cheeks. Whether induced by shame or anger she did not know. "This is not funny, you know?" She added with a familiar scowl but there was utter honesty behind her words, and her friends got it.
"We know," Quinn stated reassuringly, bumping shoulders with the brunette doctor and offering her a knowing smile. "But better make it light than bear the heaviness, right?" The petite blonde added tentatively and Santana half-heartedly nodded her confirmation.
The song finished its last painfully desperate lines and strongly marked beats, and Jimmy went on ahead and stealthily disengaged Santana's gadget from the playing device. "Some malfunction or something," he said with a yellow smile to no one in particular when he came back out, but nobody seemed to care anyhow.
Brittany shot one last look at Santana and the brunette unwillingly held it for a few seconds, which felt like ages to both parties. They would have to come up with another word for 'awkward' because it wasn't quite cutting anymore.
The party had ended; everyone had left but Santana, Quinn, Jimmy and Rachel, but at that moment they were on their way to the former's car. Zoey and Brittany walked with them.
"I bet you wish you had done the party at my place now, huh?" Santana asked with a sly smile on her face. She had offered her house for the party since it had a substantially bigger backyard; but the dancer declined, insisting it would be a small gathering.
"Yeah," Brittany nodded with a tight-lipped smile, playing along. "I thought you guys would at least hang around to help out with the mess," she added in a joking tone, morphing her smile into a broad grin.
"Well, that's how you know we're friends," Quinn piped in with a grin, holding Rachel's hand. "Real friends just eat and leave. They don't stick around to deal with the gross aftermath," the petite blonde added with confidence.
"Wow, how cynical of you, Fabray…" Jimmy stated with a flat tone, looking sideways at Quinn. And then after a beat he added, opening up a toothy smile, "And I couldn't have said it better." The tall British man held up his arm for the hazel-eyed woman to high-five him, but she just rolled her eyes and ignored him. Zoey, however, didn't leave her uncle hanging as she held her little arm up to high-five him.
"That's my girl," Jimmy stated with pride, high-fiving the blue-eyed kid as she smiled widely.
"Actually, get your paws off of her, Jimbo! She's all mine," Santana quipped, picking up her daughter who felt extremely overjoyed by this flattering interaction concerning her little self.
"Nah, huh… She all ours," Brittany corrected her ex-wife with a grin, running one hand through the kid's long brown hair and motioning between herself and Santana with the other.
"Can't she be of all of us?" Rachel interjected with a high-pitched tone, unlacing her fingers from Quinn's to wrap an arm around the blonde's shoulders.
Santana couldn't help but feel a bit envious of the action. She remembered days when she could just as easily do the same to Brittany. She looked sideways at the tall blonde and looked away in a flash when the blue-eyed woman felt brown eyes on her and turned her head towards the source.
The thought was quickly suppressed when Santana said with a firm mock tone, "I don't know. I'm extremely territorial…" and then she looked at Zoey in the eye as the kid cuddled into her hold and added, "What do you say, baby?"
Loving all the attention, Zoey proclaimed with a toothy grin of her own, "I can be everybody's, Mama."
"So it's settled, then," Santana mockingly announced with a pompous tone, putting the kid on the ground after kissing her temple.
Everyone playfully let out 'yays' and 'woo-hoos' and Zoey felt like the most special kid in the world. She rather liked the feeling because she felt tremendously loved.
The three friends kept walking to the black Range Rover to give Santana and Brittany a moment alone. The two women stopped a few feet from the vehicle with Zoey by their side.
"So…" Brittany dragged out with a smile, unwillingly looking from Santana's chocolate eyes to her full lips and unconsciously licking her own in the process. It was a familiar reflex move. "Can you believe our baby is four years old already?" The blonde added, looking down at a smiling Zoey and back up at the brunette's eyes.
"I know," Santana sighed out, matching the dancer's smile as she brought their daughter closer to her leg into a half-hug. "I made her promise not to grow up too fast earlier, isn't that right, Z?" She added wistfully, looking down and meeting the kid's blue eyes as they turned upwards to meet her brown ones. After a beat the little girl nodded.
"Really? And what did you say, sweetie? I hope you agreed because that is an awesome promise," the blonde woman said, looking down at their little one who wasn't so little anymore… but still was, and always would be to them.
"I said yes," Zoey replied melodically and proudly, glad to be at her mommies' favour.
"Good," the blonde woman announced cheerfully, looking from Zoey to Santana, who had this amazing look of adoration and awe at their daughter. It made Brittany's heart swell and beat erratically.
Sometimes she wished Santana wasn't… you know, Santana. The blue-eyed woman truly wished that not all of the brunette's words, looks, touches, gestures and whatnots, caused this big of an effect on her. Every little thing had gigantic proportions within her and it would be so much easier it weren't the case. However, if Santana weren't Santana… she would most likely not be Brittany. Because it had always been extremely hard for her to tell where she ended and where Santana began. That's how intertwined and connected they truly were… and still are. Plus, if Santana weren't Santana… and she, Brittany weren't Brittany… it was certain that there would be no Zoey. And that was a world she definitely wouldn't want to be in. A world where her notion of family wouldn't exist.
The thought made the dancer think of when she first found out she was pregnant with Zoey. So Brittany let out tenderly, locking eyes with Santana, "It's still true, you know?"
"What?" Santana asked softly, furrowing her brows slightly in confusion as Zoey watched her mothers with undivided attention.
"What I said to you the day I told you about her," Brittany clarified with a knowing, sweet smile.
Santana knew instantly what her ex-wife was talking about. How could she not? All those wonderful memories were etched upon her very soul with such strength that words were simply bound to fail to describe.
"Do you remember?" The blue-eyed woman amended barely above a whisper, taking in Santana's delayed response due to the brunette's own feelings-induced introspection.
"Of course," came the brown-eyed woman's immediate, honest reply. And then she shook her head instinctively to shake off the memories before she added, "And I agree; it still is… We still are."
Her answer seemed to have pleased Brittany, because her crystal-blue eyes glinted and her smile broadened in that way which always made Santana's heart skip a beat. Zoey mimicked her mommy's smile and the questions in her head started to form with more clarity than ever before. Before she could materialize and vocalize them, though; Santana said softly to her daughter, who still found herself wrapped on the brunette's leg, "Hey, bug, why don't you go say your goodbyes to your aunts and uncle? They are leaving tomorrow and I'm sure they would love that."
Zoey looked at Santana with a Brittany-esque pout. She was reluctant to go, to put it very mildly. The little girl didn't exactly know why, but this conversation was interesting to her. It made her think stuff she hasn't thought before and it also left her feeling warm inside. She was definitely enjoying the experience.
"Please," Santana added pleadingly and Zoey managed to tear herself away from both women as she dragged her feet towards her godparents. Jimmy welcomed her by picking the girl up and the three adults started to talk about whether she was excited to open up her pile of presents and dropped hints about what they had gotten her, which seemed to improve her mood.
Brittany looked just as curious as she looked confused. Santana locked eyes with her, took a deep breath and stated, "We still are," Santana reiterated, picking up where she had left off with a firm and steady voice. "Only in a different way," she added, dropping her gaze a bit as she felt unable to hold that ever-so-piercing blue stare.
"What do you mean?" Brittany asked in confusion but felt uneasy with the statement from the get-go.
"You know what I mean, B," the brown-eyed woman replied softly, meeting the blonde's eyes again. "You moved on. I'm starting to do the same – I called Riley," Brittany's heart raced at the information and she shifted her gaze to the floor for an instant before returning them to the brunette's face to not show her hurt so blatantly, "It's not much and it probably will end up in nothing but it's a start – I… It's not the same as it was before. It can't be, you know that…" she finished weakly.
Life might as well not be a paragraph, and death no parenthesis, but Santana was determined to not let this in-between state of hers become a final period. She was read to try her next sentence. Whether it turned out incoherent or not, she did not care.
Every cell in Brittany's body wanted to protest, wanted to ask 'Why not?', wanted to state 'It can be'… but she couldn't. It pained her to assess that Santana was right, at least to some extent. As for the rest of it the brunette would probably never know. So, the dancer settled for saying, "I know."
Santana flashed her a small smile and said after a beat, "Zoey… she will always connect us."
"She will," Brittany replied bitter-sweetly her utter agreement, matching the brunette's smile.
They stayed in comfortable silence only looking at each other for a few seconds.
Santana broke it, "I better go. Those three are waiting," she said with a tight-lipped smile and the dancer nodded.
After several hugs and goodbyes everyone went their way, some feeling lighter than others.
Seeing Brittany's keys in the multicolored artsy bowl on top of the foyer's sideboard where she just threw hers, Santana deduced her wife was home. She instinctively adjusted her ponytail in front of the mirror that hung above said sideboard and went towards the noises that were coming from the kitchen.
"Babe, it's me," Santana began saying as she walked through their apartment, still wearing blue scrubs and a white doctor's coat underneath a beige trench coat. "You won't believe the day I had, I mean, I had to keep reminding myself that I took an oath to save lives instead of taking them," she added in a whiny tone. "This lady in surgery ju –" Santana stopped mid-sentence as she arrived at the kitchen and saw the sight before her: the table was completely and properly set in the fanciest of ways, wine bottle opened and candles were lit on top of it. Brittany stood behind the kitchen island with a megawatt smile.
"What's all this?" Santana softly asked, looking directly at her wife. "I know it's not our anniversary. Please tell me it's not one of those anniversary and a half, or anniversary and a quarter, or whatever other occasion you seem to come up with and I forgot. Because I'm sure I put them all in my PDA and –" the brunette rambled on and Brittany cut her off.
"It's not, babe," Brittany interjected with the smile still in place, rounding the kitchen island to come closer to her wife. "Although this year's anniversary and a quarter is only eight days away," she deadpanned, grabbing Santana's hand and leading her to the table.
The dancer forced the brown-eyed woman down on a chair at the set table. "Then what is this about?" Santana asked curiously, looking up into blue eyes.
"Can't I do something nice for my wife without any hidden notebook?"
"You mean 'agenda'."
"What agenda?"
"No agenda," Santana said dismissively, shaking her head with a smile as she took in her wife's fine appearance. The blue-eyed woman was completely dressed-up. "You look really good, babe. Not that you ever look bad, but man, that little number is doing things to me!" The brunette added with a wicked smile as she tried to grab Brittany by the wrist but got her hand swatted away.
"Nah, dinner first, San," Brittany stated with a wide grin, walking towards the oven as the brown-eyed woman sulked. "And thanks, I'm glad you like it," she added, shooting a glance at her wife from over her shoulder.
"I'm feeling incredibly under-dressed, though," Santana piped in absentmindedly, watching her wife's backside with gusto as she got free from her trench coat and dropped it on another chair.
"You look good in anything. Besides, you know how scrubs turn me on," the blonde said from afar and even though Santana couldn't see her face she could picture her wife's smirk with uncanny clarity.
Santana did know. Thoughts of them playing doctor started to swim through her head as Brittany made her way back to the table and placed a small jar on top of each of their plates and sat down herself.
Coming down from her naughty thoughts with a pleased smile, Santana finally looked down at her plate to start eating when she noticed the small jar. "What the…" The brown-eyed woman trailed off, dropping the smile and stealing a glance at her wife's smiling face.
"Is this…" Santana trailed off again, looking down at her plate and back at her wife, who still held the same toothy grin. "This is baby food," she added matter-of-factly and after a beat the light bulb finally went on in her head. "Britt, are you…" Santana trailed off yet again, seemingly unable to form a complete, proper sentence.
Brittany smiled brightly at her and all of the sudden she felt this myriad of emotions running through her body as she mimicked her wife's smile and properly asked softly, "Are you trying to tell me you're pregnant, babe?"
The blue-eyed woman took her wife's hand on top of the table and replied with teary eyes, "Yes, I am pregnant, San."
"Are you sure?" Santana asked with doubt, smile still in place as her thumb caressed the back of Brittany's hand.
"Yes, I took three different tests from the drugstore and they all turned positive. Then I called Stella and asked her to do a rush official test for me," Brittany said gleefully, taking a piece of paper from under the tablecloth and handing it to her wife who immediately started reading it, "It came back positive as well. I'm pregnant, babe," she finished with a chuckle.
Santana replied in a daze without taking her eyes off the paper, "I didn't even see you at the practice. Why didn't you come and get me?"
"I went when I knew you'd be at the hospital. I didn't want to get your hopes up… our hopes up before I knew for sure."
The brunette kept her eyes glued to the paper and the dancer began to feel preoccupied. So, she held her wife's hand a bit tighter. "Are you ok? Are you happy?" Brittany asked tentatively, staring at her wife who stared at the paper.
Santana tossed the sheet of paper on the table and exclaimed, "Of course I'm happy! Babe, I'm ecstatic, I'm jubilant… I don't have words to describe how amazing this is!"
She stood up and took Brittany with her, embracing her wife with all she got. This had been their third try and the previous two failures had been hard on both of them.
"Good, because you know you put it in me," Brittany said cheerfully and seriously in Santana's ear, with her arms still wrapped tightly around her best friend's neck.
Santana laughed out loud and replied without letting the blonde go, "I thought we talked about how it's impossible –"
"I know, but Stella did let you seal the deal by pushing that thingy," the blue-eyed woman interjected in layman's terms as she pulled back to look at the brunette's face, arms still loosely locked around the brown-eyed woman's neck.
"True," Santana conceded with a foolishly happy smile, hands wrapped around the dancer's waist as brown eyes held blue ones for long seconds before she crashed her lips against Brittany's in the tenderest of kisses.
Pulling back for air and resting her forehead against Santana's, Brittany whispered with her eyes closed, "We are a family now, San."
"We've always been a family, Britts," Santana countered softly, her eyes closed as well.
"I know but… the three of us? We are always going to be a family," the blonde's words came full of meaning and sincerity as she opened up her eyes to take in her wife's, who opened up her own seconds after the dancer had done.
They smiled sweetly at each other and they rarely felt more at sync than at that very moment, standing in the middle of a candle-lit kitchen.
"Yes, we are," Santana replied in that sweet tone that always managed to reduce Brittany to mush, and then the blonde leaned further to kiss her wife once again. Merely because she wanted and could. The dancer felt Santana's hand on her still flat stomach and it made her smile into the kiss.
They were incandescently happy and right there in that exact moment, in that exact room, both women had everything they could possibly ever want or need: the three of them together. A family.
That's it for now. The cracks are becoming more noticeable, huh? By the way, I still have lots of PMs to answer. I replied to lots but still have a long way to go. I will get to all of them eventually. Rest assured. Work is still crazy; so, I can't promise another chapter next week but I'll try my best to deliver ASAP.
Share your thoughts: review :)