Logan went to sit at the bar.
Bruce sat beside Logan. "I'll have a pitcher of your darkest ale."
The bartender said, "We serve by the glass unless you want a table."
Bruce said, "We just had our vehicle towed away. So now would not be a good time to make me angry."
Logan smirked.
Pouring Bruce and Logan mugs of the darkest ale on tap, the bartender asked, "What is so funny?"
After taking a sip of the ale, Bruce said, "You don't want to know."
"Fine," said the bartender. ""Why was your car towed?"
"Because neither of us have a license," said Logan.
"Why did you offer to drive me if you didn't have a license?" asked Bruce. "Don't you know cops like to hang out around bars to pick up drunk drivers?"
"I never had a problem before then I guess Canadian cops are more laid back then New York ones," Logan said.
Bruce rolled his eyes. "No kidding."
"You don't have a license, either."
"I wasn't driving," said Bruce.
Two women entered the bar. One of the woman yelled at the bartender, "Frank, did you hear about the Hulk sighting a few days ago?"
"What of it?" asked the bartender.
"I saw it. It was a different hulk than the one that battled the aliens. This one is female. She has long brown hair with a white streak in front."
Bruce drank more of his ale, so Rogue's morning run didn't go totally unnoticed by the neighbors.
"Female?" asked Frank.
"She didn't have any clothes on," said the woman. "It's hard to miss breasts that size. It's a shame no one took a photo."
"A female one?" said Frank. "One hulk is an oddity. Two and they're soon breeding."
"Boy hulks, girl hulks and baby hulks," said Bruce, slurring his words a little. "Hulk smashed."
"Bruce, you're drunk," said Logan.
"I never been drunk before," said Bruce.
Logan took a sip of his beer. "You never been drunk? Not even in college."
"I was a good boy in college and rode my bike to school every morning, did my work and rode home," Bruce said.
"How old were you when you went to college?" asked Logan.
"I was fourteen when I started college. That isn't nothing. Hank graduated Harvard at fifteen." Hank McCoy, the Beast, was the youngest person to graduate Harvard, and as far as Bruce knew that title still held. "I only went into a high school to take physical education, and now I'm teaching. Life is funny."
Frank said, "I'm cutting you off."
"Why?" Bruce gave him his best sad eyes.
"Because your students don't need a hungover teacher."
Logan walked Bruce over to a booth. Bruce put his head on the table and promptly fell asleep.
xxxx
After about a hour or two, Cyclops arrived with the van. "Let's go," he said in that superior voice that said I don't drink, I don't smoke or do anything fun. Just, maybe, Bruce read too much into his smugness. And he was just a man that couldn't deal with his grief well and took it out on everyone. Nay!
When they were in the van, Bruce said, "Why did he think we were mutants?"
"Someone must had seen how much you drank and only mutants wouldn't be drunk," Cyclops said, "Or dead."
"Logan didn't put any holes in the cop and the Hulk didn't smash his car," explained Bruce. "Then he was smart enough not to arrest us. He and his friend were talking about another time the cops got involved with mutants. Logan, now that we aren't in the bar, who threw fireballs and why did the cops shoot you?"
"The kid that threw the fire left with Magneto," said Logan, "And the cops asked me to drop my weapons."
"And he can't," said Cyclops. "Any more dumb questions?"
"The cop didn't want to go easy on us," said Logan. "However, I did walk away after getting a bullet in my head."
Bruce smiled. "I think he was going over his options."
Cyclops said, "The professor confirmed that you both work for the school and he wasn't pressing any charges. You were lucky. He could have still charged Logan with driving without a license."
Bruce said, "The next time, we walk."
"No next time." Logan growled. "Bruce babbles when drunk."
Cyclops said, "What did you say?"
"Nothing that made sense." Bruce thought a second. "I did say 'Hulk smashed.' The people who want to kill me or take me home for lab experiments know where I am at all times, so it's no big deal."
"Take you home for lab experiments," Cyclops repeated. "Bruce, you are still drunk."
"So what? Being drunk is good for me. Alcohol is a sedative - it makes it harder for the Hulk to come out," said Bruce. "More than a few people want a pet hulk. The problem is I'm not exactly housebroken. Can I go back to sleep?"
Cyclops looked at Logan. "You're right. He does babble."
"Why don't you have a license?" said Logan. "And don't give me shit about staying off the radar because Stark giving you a paycheck put you on the radar."
"As I told the officer, I didn't need one in Manhattan. Also I tend to stay away from stress-filled situations and driving tests are about as stress-filled as they get," said Bruce. "I stay away from potential global catastrophes and other stress-filled situations. Fury insisted that I help out with the potential global catastrophe thing, but he did it the easy way."
"I'm missing the punch-line," said Logan.
Bruce explained, "He sent a sexy agent to talk to me, so the other guy wouldn't make a mess."
Cyclops said, "Why didn't you take Wasp up on her offer?" That came out of the blue. Or not, Cyclops, probably, saw her as another sexy agent Fury sent to do his bidding. Wasp was a bit easier on the eyes than Fury.
"Because those Pym particles aren't too stable and I could have ended up a few millimeters tall," explained Bruce. "Also people tend not to provoke a giant. I really don't want the other guy to make a mess. I've even walked off willingly with General Ross when given the option. It's water under the bridge since I'm back to my normal height due to touching Rogue."
Cyclop went hmm. "Is that the only reasons you turned Wasp down?"
"Logan, please, let me call him Professor Jackass," said Bruce. "You get first dibs tomorrow."
"Since I'm the one with the driver's license," said Cyclops, "you should show some respect. I could make you walk the rest of the way."
"Professor Summers, could you, please, take me to the DMV tomorrow?" Bruce said in his sweetest voice.
"Now you're just being sarcastic," said Cyclops, "But you need to think about getting your own vehicle once you pass your test."
"Logan, you can have my motorcycle once I'm back in Asgard," said Bruce. "Once I have a license, we can go to Canada and see if we can find out your full legal name. You have dog tags - that means you've been fingerprinted and probably have your photo in some military archive."
"I can go alone," said Logan.
"Don't slam the door on your way out," said Cyclops.