Me: So. Ichigo. You and Peyton's little episode sure gave me a ton of reviews!
Rukia: (cheerful) Yeah! We hit the forty mark, thanks to you!
Me: (ignoring Ichigo's look of pure murder) ACTUALLY, we're PAST the forty mark. So...we dedicate this chapter to my buddy, Ichigo Kurosaki. Whose activities with Peyton Cullen in the hotel bathroom made him a legend on my fanfic.
Ichigo: (looking around for his medieval objects) Just wait. By the end of this chapter, I'll figure out where my weapons went, and I'll fucking KICK YOUR ASS!!
Me: (totally not worried) Enjoy!
They both immediately opened their eyes, let go of each other, and jumped about ten feet away from each other in one fluid motion.
Peyton glared at him, and he glared right back. They heard little feet running out of the room, through the door system, and fast talking.
They were so screwed.
Rukia yawned and sat up, stretching lazily. Then she blinked at them, as if trying to figure out what was wrong with this picture.
Peyton and Ichigo blinked back innocently. Then, she gasped and pointed at Ichigo.
"YOU PERVERT!!!! Why are you in the bathroom with Peyton, while she's practically naked?!"
Before either could reply, they heard a gasp of shock before a loud, "ICHIGOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Ichigo turned about five shades paler as Isshin practically ran into the bathroom. "Ichigo Kurosaki?! I...I.." Isshin's face suddenly broke out into a grin. "Have never been more proud of you than at this very moment!!!"
"WHAT?!" Everyone but Ichigo exclaimed. Ichigo was too busy grinning smugly at everybody, which made Peyton want to smack him.
Karin crossed her arms. "Are you kidding me?! He was making out with Peyton...while she's in a towel...who knows what could've happened if Yuzu hadn't snuck in here?!"
Isshin pointed at her. "You should've stopped your sister! Is one grandchild too much to ask?!"
This time Peyton's "WHAT?!" was the loudest.
Rukia stood up on her bed angrily. "Ichigo?! You are freaking dead, you hear me?! DEAD. Taking advantage of Peyton like that!!"
Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous...!!
"Quite honestly, I'm offended," Peyton mumbled to herself. Ichigo just pointed at her and laughed.
BONK!!
"Dammit, Peyton!!"
Karin and Yuzu sweatdropped. "She's gonna regret hitting him with that towel rack once she gets the hotel bill..."
Yuzu nodded slowly. "Personally, I just have to wonder how the heck she ripped it off the wall like that!"
THREE HOURS LATER...
"Okay, honestly, you two are acting more like animals than the animals themselves!!" Rukia scolded after catching them glaring at each other for the millionth time.
They pointed at one another before shouting, "IT'S ALL HIS/HER FAULT!!!"
"It takes two to make out in the bathroom," Rukia pointed out, to which Matsumoto's and Toshiro's jaws hit the floor.
They were in Animal Kingdom today, and the other two Soul Reapers had just recently ran into them.
Matsumoto pouted. "No one tells me any of the hot stuff that goes on around here...!"
Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped. "It wasn't hot, it was a competition," Ichigo commented matter-of-factly.
Matsumoto cocked a perfectly-plucked eyebrow. "What the hell kind of competition was it? Whoever's tongue gets down the other's throat first wins a prize?!"
Both Peyton and Ichigo went spastic, making everyone passing by stare at them.
"NO!!! UGH, MENTAL IMAGE!!"
"AHHH, MY EARS!!!"
TWO HOURS LATER...
"Ichigo, I'm not arguing about this any more with you," Peyton stated, crossing her arms and leaning against the bridge over the flamingo pool.
"Not fair! All you have to do is explain to my dad how it was all your idea, and that's all!"
"But it wasn't all my idea. And I really doubt he could care less whose idea it was," Peyton pointed out.
"B-But-"
"No."
"But Peytooonnn," he whined.
"NO."
"That's pretty selfish!"
"Why do you care so much? He's gonna keep telling people regardless. You look like a legend, and I look like a slut. So congrats."
As if on cue, they saw Isshin talking to a man a little ways off. They knew exactly what he was talking about after seeing the blush on Yuzu's cheeks, the look of pure disbelief on Karin's, and the way he pointed at Ichigo and Peyton.
"See?"
Ichigo sighed. "Look, I can NOT have him thinking I actually wanted to make out with you."
Peyton glared at him. "Oh, wow, Ichigo. Thanks. You know just what to say to make me want to kill you!"
"What, what'd I say?!"
"Considering it was either that or try and take off my towel, I'm pretty damn sure you were liking the first option!" She exclaimed, making a couple passing by give them suggestive looks.
Ichigo sweatdropped. "Wow, Peyton. YOU know just what to say to make me look like a total pervert."
"You don't need help in that department."
Ichigo made an offended noise. "I am NOT a pervert!!"
Peyton had a mischeivous glint in her eyes. "Oh yeah? How did we first officially meet, hmm?"
He sighed. "...In your bathroom...while you were taking a shower.."
"How many times have you looked at my ass?"
He sighed again. "...Seven or eight-"
"Ichigo."
"Twelve.."
"And, do refresh my memory...WHERE have you managed to put your hands in the past seventy-four hours alone??"
Ichigo turned bright red. "I get the point, okay?!"
Peyton laughed and pointed at him. "You, Kurosaki, are a full-fledged pervert!"
He waved her off. "So are you!"
Peyton nodded slowly. "True, but we weren't talking about me, now, were we?"
They were quiet for a minute, and then Ichigo very calmly turned to her. "Hey Peyton?"
"Yes?"
"You do realize what my dad's really telling everybody isn't just that we made out, but that I might've impregnated you, right?"
SLAP!
"Ow! I'M not saying it, dammit!" He flicked her right between the eyes.
"Ow! What the hell was that supposed to be, Ichigo?!"
"I read somewhere it usually calms down bloodthirsty animals."
STOMP! SLAP! POP!
"Ow! Ow! Dammit, ow!"
"DO I LOOK CALM TO YOU?!"
"You're never calm. Spazz."
She was about to kick him again, but she slipped and flipped off the edge of the bridge, falling right into the water with the flamingos.
It was less than a three foot drop, but now she was soaked and her back hurt like hell, and Ichigo being in a heap on the ground from laughing so hard was NOT improving things.
He finally gained enough composure to hold out a hand. Peyton smiled sweetly at him, and before he could pull away like any other smart person, she yanked him into the water with a triumphant yell.
"TAKE THAT, KUROSAKI!!!"
By this time, not only were passersby looking at them weird, but so were the flamingos. Once Ichigo came up, Peyton was the one busting a gut laughing. He glared at her before grabbing her by the waist. "Hey, whoa, what're you doing? Ichigo!!!"
He flipped her into the water with ease, a huge smirk on his face. She came up sputtering and glaring at him.
He simply pointed at her as a flamingo played with a few strands of her hair. "...Karma."
Me: (yelling over shoulder) You'll never find 'em!
Ichigo: (from the distance) WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO WITH MY MEDEIVAL WEAPONS, MANDY?!!!
Me: (innocent) Noooooothinnnnggg!!
Rukai: (whispers) Seriously, Mandy. What DID you do with them?
Me: (evil laugh) I buried half of them in the backyard and fed the rest to Pluto!
Rukia: (impressed) Wow. You're evil AND creative!
Me: (shrugs) It's a gift. REVIEW!